s/o @ if you have 2 close in age...

[meg]

wawa's post reminded me I wanted to pick a few brains too.

1) talk to me about double strollers. Henry will be 21-22 months when this baby comes (and he loves his stroller). Right now I have 2 doubles basically and am trying to decide if that is ridiculous or what. So... BOB. That one is kind of a must. We have a single now and use the heck out of it... walks, beach, and eventually I would like to run with it too again. I also have a BJ CS. This one just needs the second seat kit to become a double. I find I don't really use this BJCS much at all other than for the mall. Is the duallie impossible to navigate in a mall? I anticipate a LOT of mall trips just because it'll be winter. I guess Im wondering if I should just try to sell the BJ on CL or something or hang onto it and get the second seat kit. I got the duallie with a great lightning deal on amazon and can return it for another 10 months or so. But the CS I can get one of those stand on attachments down the road too. #3 is on the table eventually too if that matters.

2) Any general tips for preparing a toddler who doesn't have a clue? We are moving him to a new room... when should we do this by do you think? I want to avoid doing it too close to when the baby comes (but we have various things to do first so it can't be now either).
Also any tips for when the baby DOES come on managing the transition for henry?

3) has anyone here tandem nursed? Im not producing anymore but H is still pretty tied to his bedtime nursing. Sometimes he will ask a few other times per day, usually averages 2x a day. Im taking his lead here and if he weans, great. If he doesn't, Im open to tandem and feel that there are some benefits, especially since I am concerned about his transition. Did you find that there was additional jealousy seeing the baby nursing when they still do it themselves? I am assuming if he is nursing I will see an uptick. Any tips in general?

4) anyone have to do bedtime solo? Ill be solo 2x a week (retail schedule). How do you manage this? Especially since Henry nurses at bedtime and may not be weaned...?

I still have a ton of time of course but these things have been rattling around in my head.

[meltoine]

I can't answer 1, 2, or 3, but "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" is a great book and an easy read. I read it when we first started TTC #2 because DS is still nursing and I don't intend to wean him before he's ready. Obviously I have no personal experience, but the book goes over all your questions and more.

[Deleted]

My older two were about as spaced as yours will be. Pinky was born in July and bird turned two the November after.

I haven't pushed a double stroller in ages so I can't tell you much about brands. But I can tell you you want one where the heaviest kid is at the back. It's just easier for getting over curbs, turning the damned thing, etc.

I didn't bother doing anything to prepare pete for pinky's arrival. He was too young to get it or what it meant. I just worked with him on being nice, nice touches, be careful what he's doing, something you'd be working with a kid that age on anyway.

[penguingrrl]

My older two are 22 months apart and had life worked out I would have had the same spacing between kids 2 and 3 because I loved that spacing!

1) Our double was a Phil and Ted's classic with jump seat and I love that stroller. We used it enough that I had to replace the tires last year (we were living in Manhattan, so I put more miles on my stroller than my car). I think the Bob and the BJ would be a bit much and I see people with the duallie all over the place. Eventually you might want a double umbrella but I don't think you'll need the BJ. I'll also say that my kids both stopped using the stroller at the same time. Once #1 was done with it it was monkey see monkey do and #2 rarely rode again.

2) I would involve him in the pregnancy as much as you can. I didn't think DD really got it even though she'd talk about "baby sister Emma in mommy's belly" but she totally understood. After Emma was born Julia walked into the hospital room, shouted "baby sister Emma!!!!" and never looked at my belly again! I think talking about her sister a lot before she arrived was good for helping her adjust.

As far as moving his room, I would do so sooner rather than later so he doesn't associate his new sibling with being kicked out of his room. Talk up his big boy room and leave the old one as is for a while so he can adjust to the new room first.

3. I never tandem nursed because nursing did not work with DD1. Had nursing worked I absolutely would have been open to tandem nursing.

4. I do bedtime alone frequently. DH just defended his dissertation Monday (started the week DD1 was born) so he works very long hours frequently. I dragged the younger one through the older one's regular bedtime routine (bath, vitamins, pjs, brush teeth, books, songs, sleep) but was relaxed about timing and if it got a little late because I was nursing or otherwise taking care of the little one I rolled with it. She quickly fell into her sister's sleep hours and bedtime routine (where the older one took forever to get into good routine) and I think it's because I had to be more structured than I was with her sister. You'll find your groove and will also have a few nights of ripping your hair out!

Good luck! I loved that age difference and now my two are absolutely best friends!

[Deleted]

Mine are 14 and a half months apart.

DD had no clue what was going on at that age.

I kept her in her room. There were enough changes to her world that I wanted to keep that constant for her. I have read that you should not make any major changes to routines within 3 months of the birth of #2.

[josieposy]

Granted my kids are the same age, but:

I sold my BJCS when the girls' legs started getting kinda long. The kid in the back didn't have much leg room and I don't like having one facing forward and one facing back (it's just something I was weird about). If you already have a BJCS, I would just go ahead and get the extra seat. It'll work for you for quite awhile.

Right now we pretty much only use the BOB for outdoor use. DH and I rarely take them to the mall, but when we do we usually take two umbrellas and each drive a kid. I thought about a double umbrella, but we already had one single, so we just bought another one.

[darnkatz]

1) I would get something like a Mountain Buggy if you want a jogging stroller that is more narrow than a BOB. It could be your only stroller. The Duet is considered compact, although it's not light. I saw those all over the place in Chicago. It takes a car seat, too.

I am not a huge fan of the BJ double. I would sell it, honestly. The single version is so much better than the double, and you can find a better double stroller for the mall if you really want a double BOB (which I would not take in the mall, btw - that thing is a behemoth). You could do a stroller with a removable seat like the Phil and Ted, Britax B-Ready or the City Select. All three can turn into single strollers. Valco also makes some nice double strollers - the Spark Duo and the Snap Dual. Their Tri-Mode actuall takes a joey jump seat for the very front, so you could fit a third child in there down the road. I think that you can jog with it in double mode.

Or you could just get a lightweight double like a Maclaren for the mall and other outings and buy the double BOB.

2) No general tips. My kid will be almost five when this wee one arrives. I'm at a loss for what to do!

3) No advice on the tandem nursing.

4) I've done bedtime solo, but I don't have two right now.

[brit1017]

Sept 19, 2012 21:04:27 GMT -5 meg said:

wawa's post reminded me I wanted to pick a few brains too.

1) talk to me about double strollers. Henry will be 21-22 months when this baby comes (and he loves his stroller). Right now I have 2 doubles basically and am trying to decide if that is ridiculous or what. So... BOB. That one is kind of a must. We have a single now and use the heck out of it... walks, beach, and eventually I would like to run with it too again. I also have a BJ CS. This one just needs the second seat kit to become a double. I find I don't really use this BJCS much at all other than for the mall. Is the duallie impossible to navigate in a mall? I anticipate a LOT of mall trips just because it'll be winter. I guess Im wondering if I should just try to sell the BJ on CL or something or hang onto it and get the second seat kit. I got the duallie with a great lightning deal on amazon and can return it for another 10 months or so. But the CS I can get one of those stand on attachments down the road too. #3 is on the table eventually too if that matters.


4) anyone have to do bedtime solo? Ill be solo 2x a week (retail schedule). How do you manage this? Especially since Henry nurses at bedtime and may not be weaned...?

I still have a ton of time of course but these things have been rattling around in my head.

These are the only 2 I have any experience with. DS was 20 months when DD came, so I have a similar age difference. We had a single BOB that I loved, but got a double MacLaren b/c we lived in a 2nd floor walkup, and I thought dragging a double up the stairs would be too much. Honestly, we rarely used the double. I ended up wearing DD a ton and putting DS in a single stroller. Maybe that is an option, at least in the beginning?

DH works an evening shift, so I do bedtimes alone most nights. When DD was super little, I would bath her during the day when DH was home to watch DS. I would still give DS his bath at night as part of his bedtime routine, with DD in a bouncy seat in the bathroom with us. I would get DS in his pajamas, then turn on a show for him so that I could BF DD. Sometimes I could get her to sleep, so I would put her down, then take DS into his room to read him books and put him to bed. If DD didn't fall asleep, I would take her into DS's room with us and do the best I could to keep his routine as close to normal as possible, though sometimes I had to cut it short if she was fussing. It was a juggling act for awhile, but got easier the older they both got. Once DD could sit up, I put her in a bath ring in the tub with DS, and that made things way easier.

[SusanBAnthony]

I know a lot of people who tandem nursed. Most loved it as long as their older child was limited to bedtime only, not nursing round the clock. Problem is, he may want to nurse round e clock once your yummy newborn milk comes in. Which can be great for when you are engorged!

I had a city mini double and used it all the time. I also briefly owned the city select, and didn't use it much. It sucked to push, was so heavy and hard t get in and out of the car, etc. I ended up using a single stroller at the mall (with either the toddler walking or the baby on me in a carrier) if I planned to do actual shopping and needed to fit between racks. It we were just walking around the mall for entertainment, I used the side by side double. I ended up selling the bjcs pretty quickly.

[Deleted]

Re: strollers - my SIL had the bob duallie (her girls are 18 months apart) and loved it. They lived in Minnesota at the time and she had no issues navigating sidewalks, the mall (they used to take it to the Mall of America a lot haha), etc. She ran with it sometimes but not as much as I think she had anticipated but she is not a very serious runner anyway - and I think that is why she didn't run with it, it didn't have anythign to do with the actual stroller.

[EloiseWeenie]

1. If you don't mind having 2 strollers, then keep them both. If you feel like you only want one, can you wait to see what you'll like? I only have 1, the Bumbleride Indie Twin. I take it everywhere- and I still use it once or twice a week- the kids are now 3, and 11.5 months. Our mall is small, and the stores are packed with clothes. I can navigate with my side-by-side easily through the paths, but it's pretty impossible to navigate around racks (the stores are all so packed that even walking you brush against them- without the stroller). My kids love sitting side by side.

2. I would move your first soon- the sooner the better. You want them to be used to their new room.

We had a weird situation, we were planning on putting the baby in the front room. Right after my son's 2nd birthday, he started climbing out of the crib- we were planning on transitioning him since we needed the crib, so nbd. We put him in a twin bed, and he began being really scared of the dark (the back bedroom is always dark). So, we moved his bed into the front room, and he loved it. He was so excited to have a new room. This was great for us, because we could keep the nursery the same.

3. No idea.

4. My husband works 1.25 hours away, so some days he doesn't get home until after bedtime. I always take care of the baby first, while my son plays. Once she's in the crib, I do Hunter's bedtime routine. I do the same thing for naps.

[shadow]

Haven't had a chance to read all the posts yet...But DD is 2.5 and DS is 9 months. We have the double BOB. It is pretty big and you have to be fairly strong to get it in and out of the trunk. It's not fun. But it is useful for the mall. I'm beginning to think it's not totally worth it to use it too much. I want to just keep the single bob in the car and let DD walk b/c for most things, it makes more sense. Except when I feel like DD isn't going to stick around or cooperate, i want her buckled in the seat. You can't fit everywhere w/ the double and if you encounter any steps, it's a huge pain and you'll have to rely on the courtesy of strangers to help you. Our neighborhood is pretty hilly, so I don't even see the double bob as being very useful for walks b/c it'll be too heavy to push up a hill easily. I'm just going to end up using the ergo for the baby and put DD in the single bob.

As for bedtimes solo, their bedtimes right now are different and DD does well on her own for a little bit, so I put DS down w/ a bottle at about 7 or so and she hangs out on her own usually. DD goes to bed about 9 (she takes a 3 hr nap in the afternoon usually). When I do have to take care of DD w/ DS, like for her nap, I just lay him on her floor and he plays on the rug while i tend to her. Hope that helps!

For preparing, we just talked about the baby coming and referenced my belly. Then introduced them when he was born. DS was born 6 weeks early so we didn't have a chance to get her room ready and transition her into a new room before he was born. It worked out b/c he spent the first several months in our room in the pnp anyway. She transitioned smoothly though and never looked back. She loves the baby and i try to include her by helping w/ the baby, handing me diapers, etc.

ETA to change a word that made no sense and deleted a double post.

[meg]

thanks! Kelbrian - the city select is the one I own already. I just find that I really dont use it all that much as a single and wasnt sure if I would get more use from it as a double since it is stacked. I dont really want to spend the (albeit small amount) $ on the second seat kit if I really wont use it. But then again, I can keep the whole thing in my car and use as a single or double depending (and wear the baby or whatever if as a S). Ill probably hang onto the bob and see... we do go on walks regularly and I dont really like the CS for them. And I do want to be able to run eventually too. And cant baby wear running It just SEEMS excessive... and I dont really want to keep two $$$ strollers if I dont truly need them both. Especailyl since I will hang onto my single bob too. Ill probably just wait and see I guess.

Thanks for all the rest of the tips! We are keeping the nursery as a nursery and that is where the baby will go. CHances are the baby will be in with us at first anyhow, but wanted the option of the crib for naps etc and if the baby likes sleeping in the crib more than H did, want that option too without disturbing Henry's sleep (so not sharing). We are turning our "office" into his big boy room, so there is a lot of furniture and crap to deal with first.

[meg]

Sept 19, 2012 23:44:11 GMT -5 darnkatz said:

1) I would get something like a Mountain Buggy if you want a jogging stroller that is more narrow than a BOB. It could be your only stroller. The Duet is considered compact, although it's not light. I saw those all over the place in Chicago. It takes a car seat, too.

It looks like only the (single) swift is for running. THe duet isnt a running stroller, thanks for the tip though!

[meg]

Thanks Major. This is particularly helpful...

Sept 20, 2012 9:28:27 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

I will say that YD is on more of a schedule than LB ever was. And while I do BF and mostly do babyled nursing, I kinda just feed him every 2-3 hours to fit around our schedule.

I was very very anti schedule with henry - baby led totally etc. Still largely am tbh. But I just cant wrap my head around how that can work totally with a toddler too. The bedtime tips are helpful.

[meg]

I feel I have heard a lot of this anecdotally too about seconds. But then again my two sisters (granted, number 2 and 3 but still) are basically this same spacing and the younger was definitely not easy going like that (and #2 had colic). So. But, henry was a pretty needy infant too so maybe this one will be more easy going by necessity?

Not a SAHM. I work from home part time. Ill be taking 12 weeks off. Right now Henry is in DC once a week, wtih my mom once a week, with DH once a week and the last two days I WFH a half day and DH takes morning shift (retail schedule). Ill probably maintain the mom/DC schedule during my leave for H to get a chance to have solo time wtih the baby and keep him busy (winter, ack).

DH is realllllly nervous!