WWYD? Frozen embryos

[scm1011]

I got a letter yesterday that my embryos (3) are due for annual storage payment to the tune of $850. I am currently 28 weeks pregnant with #2, and DH and I are both in complete agreement that 2 is our ideal family size. My plan was to donate the embryos to research once DD safely arrived, but this came sooner than I realized and now I'm hesitant. I really don't want to shell out $850 when we have zero plans of a 3rd child, but I worry that the worst might happen and DD doesn't arrive as planned. WWYD?

Potentially pertinent info: I'm 37, but our IF problems stem from severe MFI. I haven't had any egg quality issues (my AMH last summer was 6.45), but I know that can deteriorate quickly. I live in a mandated state so if the worst happened and we decided to try for #2 again a fresh cycle would be free. 

I just can't shake the feeling of "don't count your chickens...", but is that irrational? 

[G22]

Not quite the same situation with us, but if our clinic asked for the next year storage fee right now while I'm pregnant with #2 I'd personally pay it. But I admit I'm on the fence about #3 so thats why. I would LOVE #3. But I dont know if I can go through fertility treatment for another time. But I know that kind of money isn't something we all just have sitting around for funsies so I completely understand if you decided to donate and be done. I'm clearly no help, sorry!

[mpc]

I was 5 when my mom had a stillbirth. I can't even fathom getting tubes tied during a c-section, because, what if. So I would pay it, but I know that's because of my own baggage.

ETA: But this is different of course. Even if something happened, you always have the option of doing another fresh cycle, like you said. So it's not like completely shutting the door.

[pandora89]

I know $850 is a lot of money but I personally would pay the storage fee for another year.

[konapoppy]

I would pay one more year. Any chance they will prorate if you decide to donate 6 months from now?

[pickel]

I’m pregnant with twins and there’s like 0% chance DH will ever agree to more children after this (I’m definitely not on board with more kids right now but never say never). I still paid the storage fee because “what if”, meaning what if something bad happens or what if he changes his mind.

[scm1011]

Ugh, I guess you guys are right. We're in savings mode before starting 2 in daycare (at almost $4k a month, puke), so I hate to part with $850 for nothing, but I suppose its a good insurance policy.

mpc, I'm so sorry your family went through that. Stillbirth is one of my biggest fears.

[knx9211]

I would pay one more year. Just to be sure.

[shauni27]

so, I personally would reach out and ask if you decide to donate them in 20 weeks or so, would you get a partial refund? That is what we got when we donated our last embryo right after S was born.

But like you, and most others on here, I refused to do anything with it until S was here safe and sound.

If they do not do a partial refund I would still bite the bullet and just pay it.

[scm1011]

I hadn't thought to see if they'd pro-rate it, good thought! I'll check into that, because honestly if it was $300-400 I would do it with no hesitation.

[mpc]

If you're paying $4k a month for daycare then just think of it like this is only the cost of one week.

Also, $4k a month, omg. That's nuts.

[icedcoffee]

I’d do it. I just renewed DH’s sperm for another year. I also bought a case of my favorite wine you can only buy once a year a week before my transfer to help ensure it worked.

[kellikans]

We're in the same situation. We're due for payment ($700) on our remaining embryo, I'm 22 weeks pregnant and we don't want any more kids. But we're going to suck it up and pay for another year, god forbid, just in case.

[konapoppy]

Mar 14, 2019 14:44:49 GMT -5 mpc said:

If you're paying $4k a month for daycare then just think of it like this is only the cost of one week.

Also, $4k a month, omg. That's nuts.

That is actually reasonable for 2 kids in HCOL 😢

[scm1011]

Mar 15, 2019 7:26:37 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

Mar 14, 2019 14:44:49 GMT -5 mpc said:

If you're paying $4k a month for daycare then just think of it like this is only the cost of one week.

Also, $4k a month, omg. That's nuts.

That is actually reasonable for 2 kids in HCOL 😢

Yup, its definitely on the low end for our area (but still more than DH brings home as a teacher  )

[shauni27]

scm1011, report back if they will prorate for you!

[scm1011]

Will do, shauni27! I plan on calling Monday.

[mpc]

Mar 15, 2019 7:26:37 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

Mar 14, 2019 14:44:49 GMT -5 mpc said:

If you're paying $4k a month for daycare then just think of it like this is only the cost of one week.

Also, $4k a month, omg. That's nuts.

That is actually reasonable for 2 kids in HCOL 😢

I figured as much. Still kind of nuts that that's normal. 

[cherryvalance]

Also ask if they'll let you pay quarterly instead. We pay quarterly so that we have the insurance of extra embryos, but can make a decision to stop storage more frequently. It's so hard to decide what to do.