How do you feel about forever homes?

[isabel]

I was going to create a poll, but I feel like there are so many options...

We moved into our current home thinking it would be our "forever" home and have since decided it is not. So we're selling and moving next month. Meanwhile, DH got what was essentially a job offer out of state. I'm 98% sure we're not taking it (mostly because it's terrible timing), but it brought up the fact that we haven't even officially sold and bought our next home and we're already talking about moving out of state. On top of all that, he eventually intends to teach at the college level, which will likely require us to move out of state. So while I'm excited about this next house and have plans for it, I think I've lost the idea of a "forever" home and am just trying to be happy with where we are at the moment.

So where are you with that concept? Does it apply to you? If it doesn't now, do you think it will in the future?

I'm tired of moving around and am so ready to be settled for a good number of years, but I'm just not sure that's in the cards for us.

[icedcoffee]

We bought our "forever" home 5 years ago. I am 90% sure it is indeed our forever home...or at least until we are empty nesters. Neither of us are all the likely to move out of state. There are things we would change about the house, but not enough to move. It is nice knowing it's our forever home, but sometimes I look at other houses and get jealous. Not enough to actually move though.

[calamity]

I personally don't think there is such a thing. At least for us, lol.

We live in a HCOL area and are raising our kids here. Our house is a good size for us now, but DH and I would both like to downsize once they are out of the house. Most likely we will need extra cash for college anyway (heh, hold me).

We will move states when they are done with HS, although we are talking about leaving our state sooner since it is not doing well financially. Our housing market here has never recovered so who knows...

[wambam]

I own a house that I would be fine living in forever. But if my financial situation changed, I would absolutely sell it and buy or build something better. I’m not actively trying to do that though. Moving sucks so much. I don’t know what would be so “wrong” with my house that I would want to put myself through moving again.

[penguingrrl]

We bought our first and hopefully only house two years ago. We moved many times over the first 11 years of marriage, and lived in 4 different stages, before settling down in our hometown. We plan to stay in this house until retirement at least. But living not far outside NYC makes that far easier, especially since H moved from professor-track to finance.

[gardengal]

I’m in our forever home. But both of our jobs are most plentiful in this area so we aren’t moving for jobs ever. And since I love this area, it would have to be an amazing thing to get us to move.

[mom2twoboys]

I thought our house now might be when we moved cross country, but we may have a chance to move back to our home state. If we do I hope that home will be the one our boys get to stay through high school. If we end up staying here we will move back to our home state eventually after the kids leave the house. I don’t know if we will ever have a forever house.

[wambam]

Mar 25, 2019 15:34:05 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Mar 25, 2019 15:32:38 GMT -5 wambam said:

I own a house that I would be fine living in forever. But if my financial situation changed, I would absolutely sell it and buy or build something better. I’m not actively trying to do that though. Moving sucks so much. I don’t know what would be so “wrong” with my house that I would want to put myself through moving again.

Moving is the WORST. A friend of mine enjoys it, they move every 3-5 yrs for “fun”.

What could possibly be fun?!

[thatgirl2478]

I think you can be happy where ever you are. Just like the Moana song...

Seriously though, my DH thinks this is the 'forever' home. I'm not convinced, but I love to browse realestate and keep up with the sales trends. I personally can envision us moving some where else before we retire - whether that's a condo near by or a single level beach house somewhere fun IDK. But this is a great 'for now' house and if it turned into a 'forever' house I wouldn't hate the idea (though, the stairs make that harder...)

[eddy]

We are in our forever home, and it is mostly for financial reasons. We have doubled our income since we bought this house. So now a small part of our income goes to housing and we are committed to staying that way.

It isn’t perfect. I would love another bathroom for example. But I remind myself how much financial freedom we have for having a “good enough” house.

Also it is a really beautiful house. It is old and has gorgeous wood floors and trim that still make me so happy to look at.

Also I doubt we ever leave the area. So the only reason we would ever buy another house was just because we wanted something different.

[circa1978]

I don't really believe in them. My family moved four times before I went to college and again while I was an undergrad, all in more or less the same area. As an adult, I spent the first part of my career as a reporter, so I moved four times for that before I was 30, then twice with my husband in Florida and twice in Missouri. The house we live in now we plan to spend the next six years in, because it's close to DS's school and the highway. We might move again when he gets to high school and then again when he goes to college. I could see myself moving before then if the right house came along though.

[W.T.Faulkner]

You guys have moved a lot in the years I’ve “known” you, lol. I don’t blame you for wanting to be settled, but there’s nothing weonf with not staying in one place.

I think “forever homes” don’t exist for some families. Some people are just more comfortable moving around than others, and much of this has to do with careers.

As for me, they will be carting my ages carcass out of our current house. lol

[oregonpachey]

Unless something catastrophic happens, like we have to move out of state for work, we are in our forever home. I hate moving with the fire of a thousand suns and don't ever want to do it again.

[cleo29]

Eh, I think it can still happen. I kind of thought that is what this house would be for us. I would like to think at some point I will be in one house long term, especially as i really do not like moving.

Very excited for you and this new house!

[wildrice]

I have no idea what I want forever to look like, so I can't really imagine a forever home. I am really enjoying our current city, but I don't think either of us sees it as our "forever" city - largely because we both have always wanted to live on the west coast and/or western US and we are on the east coast. I am not willing to rule out staying yet, though, since we've been here less than a year and who knows what the future here will bring.

If we get to a point where we both have stable jobs we enjoy, we may buy a home/condo with the idea of living there for 5-10 years. And then re-evaluate.

Someday I like the idea of buying a place we stay long term, but I also can see us moving abroad in retirement. It would be nice to have a home to sell as an asset at that point, I guess. Or depending on health and everything else, it would be nice to have the option to stay.

I also like the idea of renting forever haha. If we stay here I think financially it makes more sense to buy, and I'd love to get away from the hassles of apartment life, but owning comes with another set of hassles and isn't cheap either.

So yeah. I have no idea. I plan to stay married to my H forever, but basically everything else in my life feels pretty up in the air! If there is one thing I've learned in my almost 37 years of life, it's that every time I try to plan for the future, things happen that are out of my control and/or not in my plans and a plan becomes pointless anyway.

[knx9211]

Mar 25, 2019 15:34:05 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Mar 25, 2019 15:32:38 GMT -5 wambam said:

I own a house that I would be fine living in forever. But if my financial situation changed, I would absolutely sell it and buy or build something better. I’m not actively trying to do that though. Moving sucks so much. I don’t know what would be so “wrong” with my house that I would want to put myself through moving again.

Moving is the WORST. A friend of mine enjoys it, they move every 3-5 yrs for “fun”.

You are friends with a psychopath.

[isabel]

Mar 25, 2019 15:31:01 GMT -5 mofongo said:

What made you guys decide to move?

Well, our move to our current house was prompted by a "need" for space. Something I have since realized was way overblown and unnecessary. We moved from... I don't even know what you would call it, outside of downtown, but still what I would consider the city, to the suburbs. Like full on far away suburbs. I hate it. DH doesn't love it either. Our commutes are horrendous. On top of that, we moved from 1300 sf to 3700 sf. It's massive and way too much space, even for a family of 4. We are moving back toward the city, not quite where we were before, but significantly closer. For reference, it's about 40-45 minutes to get downtown without traffic from our current home, the new one is more like 20-25 (original house was about 15-20). It's also a good bit smaller at 2200 sf, so it feels a lot more manageable to me, but we don't lose any of the functionality or living spaces and it's set up in such a way that we can have a true playroom.

I'm very excited about the new house itself and the location. It's going to be a great fit for our family and lifestyle. I can see it being a long term "forever" home except for the fact that I'm confident we'll end up moving out of state in the next 5 years if DH holds on to this dream of teaching when he's done with his doctoral program. If that doesn't work out for whatever reason, I think we'll be very happy in this house for the long haul.

[knx9211]

Our house could be where we live forever without issue but I’m not sure it will be. If we move we’ll be looking for a ... maybe not FOREVER but at least until all kids have moved out house. Same diff.

[circa1978]

Mar 25, 2019 15:34:42 GMT -5 wambam said:

Mar 25, 2019 15:34:05 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Moving is the WORST. A friend of mine enjoys it, they move every 3-5 yrs for “fun”.

What could possibly be fun?!

Um. I'm worried this might be me. And my mom. We like buying houses. It IS fun. And decorating them. And selling them at a profit. 

I honestly think my mom missed a calling as a house flipper. I learned mad negotiation skills from her. Houses aren't emotional; they are investments. Any change I make to a house is with that in mind and whenever we've bought a house, we've always thought about the resale. 

We're currently in the middle of updating a 1982 Tudor. We bought it seriously low because it had some challenging interior choices (hot pink carpet anyone) but the updates have been mainly cosmetic. Even without counting the updates we've made, the house has already appreciated significantly in less than four years. We made about a substantial profit on our previous house.

ETA: My SIL has also moved three times since I've known her, including building TWO "forever homes." We're all an HGTV show waiting to happen.

[macmars45]

I don't know anymore. We bought our 2BR 2.5BA TH 4 years ago thinking it would be a stop on our way to a SFH but with the market being as it is, we may be stuck here indefinitely. I want a single story SFH with 3BR 1.5/2BA. And a back yard before DS is too old to play in one. Sigh.

[isabel]

Mar 25, 2019 15:34:05 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Mar 25, 2019 15:32:38 GMT -5 wambam said:

I own a house that I would be fine living in forever. But if my financial situation changed, I would absolutely sell it and buy or build something better. I’m not actively trying to do that though. Moving sucks so much. I don’t know what would be so “wrong” with my house that I would want to put myself through moving again.

Moving is the WORST. A friend of mine enjoys it, they move every 3-5 yrs for “fun”.

Oh my God, can she come to my house and help me? Never mind that we're probably 90% ready to go at this point. I hate moving so much. lol

This is a huge part of my plea to DH that even if he does want to pursue teaching, he wait at least a few years because I seriously do not want to do this again two years from now.

On the plus side, we moved so often during college, then across country and back, then into our first house, then into this one, and now... I'm getting *really* good at packing and moving efficiently.

[usuallylurking]

Mar 25, 2019 15:34:05 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Mar 25, 2019 15:32:38 GMT -5 wambam said:

I own a house that I would be fine living in forever. But if my financial situation changed, I would absolutely sell it and buy or build something better. I’m not actively trying to do that though. Moving sucks so much. I don’t know what would be so “wrong” with my house that I would want to put myself through moving again.

Moving is the WORST. A friend of mine enjoys it, they move every 3-5 yrs for “fun”.

Moving IS the worst and these people sound nuts! Lol.

We moved 7 times in 8 years from when H and I first moved in together until we bought this house 3.5 years ago. I continually say I’m never moving again, and for the most part I genuinely mean it. I’m not sure what would have to change in order to change my mind.

We live just around the corner from our boys’ elementary school and right across the road from that is their eventual middle and high schools. We live in this weird gray area between two towns where we get to pick and choose the best parts of each town for our ordinances, lol. The only thing better would be if we had more land (currently 1.1 acres) but the neighbor behind us has 5 acres and I’m not convinced he won’t at some point sell us a small chunk of his. He has no children that are interested in his home/land, and he and H have become pretty friendly. It’s not an agenda we will push, but we would take the opportunity if it presented itself. Right now we are in the process of saving $40k to do a big remodel/addition that would make the house truly amazing. Thankfully my H is incredibly handy and talented and can do all of the work himself, so it will be a huge boost in equity when it is all said and done. The house is great as-is, but this addition will allow for more space for our four boys to just spread out and lounge, have friends over, etc.

[ssmjlm]

If you ask DH we are in our "until E graduates from high school/possibly college" home. For me, there is still the opportunity of work out of state, so while I'm not itching to move, I'm keeping an open mind.

We did custom build this house and choose everything in it, so I wouldn't move just because. It would have to be for some sort of financial/medical/job situation.

[rosiebear]

I love our home. It’s on the small side but soon enough it’ll be just the two of us living here full time. We’ve remodeled the kitchen and back room and I love it very much. We couldn’t live in a more awesome neighborhood.

But I can’t see staying in a house as an old lady, and we would love the snowbird lifestyle some day, so we probably have another 15 yo 20 years here, max, before we start looking at a condo or apartment.

Plus my husband does virtually everything with regard to upkeep and maintenance of the house so if anything happens to him I’d definitely be in trouble trying to stay for too long.

[mrsjuleshs]

I've lived in my house for almost 22 years (minus like 18 months when I briefly moved out with DD's dad). Bought it from my mom in 05 with my ex and I refinanced it to just my name after the divorce in 17. The amount of time it would take to box up my house and the shed which has stuff from before my mom moved out and got married to my step dad is daunting. I love my house but realistically it's too big for me. Really even me and my brother who currently lives with me it's too big so i am contemplating downsizing. Not like it's huge but the formal dining and living rooms never get used except for the dogs to sleep on that couch and the backyard is huge and A LOT of maintenance. The thought of moving from the only home DD has ever known and with the neighbors all around us who have been there even longer makes me sad so I have no clue what I'm going to do.

[flex]

I don't believe in "forever" homes. I think it's great to want to stay in a place you love for a long while, but things change: family size, physical needs, icky neighbors, natural disasters, etc., etc. What seems like the perfect home can be not-so-perfect 5, 10, 15 years down the road.

[isabel]

Mar 25, 2019 15:44:31 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

If you ask DH we are in our "until E graduates from high school/possibly college" home. For me, there is still the opportunity of work out of state, so while I'm not itching to move, I'm keeping an open mind.

We did custom build this house and choose everything in it, so I wouldn't move just because. It would have to be for some sort of financial/medical/job situation.

I think this is kind of where we are, but it's more DH who is willing to look out of state. He will never not look, even though he isn't actively applying. This job opportunity that came up is one that presented itself in 2017 and fell through for a number of reasons. Now the company is truly ready to hire for the position and says H is their guy, name his price. So he did and they're good with it. But even he agrees that this is just really terrible timing all around. I somewhat jokingly said to him this weekend, "well, we're all packed. Are we moving to [new house city] or New Hampshire?"

[Nonny]

We bought our house with the idea that it would be a "starter" home and we'd move in 5 or so years, and now we've been here for almost 16 years, so I'm not sure I'm a good judge.

We'll have to move eventually though, because our house is a split level and my knees are already well down the path of being totally screwed and I'm going to need a house without stairs. (I'm just not down with one of those automatic stair chair lifts, LMAO!)

[dreamcrisp1]

I don’t know about forever because I get antsy; however, our next move will be for the long term. We’ve been so temporarily living since 2014 so I am ready to settle down and buy a house with our own possessions. This likely won’t happen until 2020/2021 as we are living abroad until then and then will need to figure out jobs and income when we do move back to Canada. It could very well end up being our forever home so we are definitely not settling for anything less than and will make sure it fits all of our requirements. I actually found the most perfect home today but alas we are not moving back yet. I think being so temporary everywhere has really made me long for some sort of stability. I am tired of moving. We have done 3 moves in 5 years.

[ECB]

I’m not into the “forever home” concept either.  I’m into the “the house that is right for us at this point in our lives” concept.   That’s a bit of a mouthful though!

We lived in our first house for 8 years.  Had a kid and when he was 2, moved to a bigger house and out of the city.  We’ve now been in this house 8 years and we have no plans to move.  But DH and I have both talked about what happens when DS moves out - what do we do then? We’ll see.  He’s an only child so if he lands somewhere else, somewhere we like, we may move close to be near him. 

We’ll see. This works for us now.  It may not in 5, 10, 30 years.