Good morning, I feel like I am at my wits end. Last year at this time my husband and I both lost our jobs. I found one that required moving to a new state, which we did last July. I feel like we just haven’t been able to get on top of finances and get stable. My husband had a super hard time finding a job as the new city is really small. He did find one but it’s hourly and hours fluctuate A LOT in the summer. I am working 2 jobs trying to make ends meet but feel like the life is being sucked out of me. I just want to have some saving and not always be living paycheck to paycheck. How do I start?
Post by bullygirl979 on May 14, 2019 9:36:38 GMT -5
First, I'm sorry. I can't imagine how stressful it must have been for both of you to lose your jobs at the same time.
Do you have a monthly budget? If no, I would highly recommend sitting down and making one. Also, is your H get a second job for a while to add in some extra income?
My husband hasn’t gotten a second job because his current job doesn’t have set hours. Some days he’s done at 5 and some days he is done at 1. He is an electricians helper so it all depends on the job that day. That makes it a lot harder for him to find something that works.
Post by bullygirl979 on May 14, 2019 9:48:57 GMT -5
Gotcha. Other than finding FT jobs that may pay more, I would look at creating (and sticking to) a budget. You can also take a look at your monthly expenses and see where you can trim down (cable, cell phones, etc).
I agree that a budget is critical. It's hard to manage money without one. I keep a running excel spreadsheet and track literally every dollar that we spend, even when sometimes it hurts to see how much things add up.
I moved to a new state last July too, and while H and I have both been employed the whole time we lived here, we took a huge hit in monthly discretionary/savings money - our rent/health insurance is about $1100 more per month than it was in our old state, and we are making around 3k less combined than we did back then. Not a huge pay drop, but giant increase in bills, plus many things here are more expensive (eating out, drinks, parking, etc). It has been a rough adjustment but keeping a careful budget has helped.
It has also been helpful to prioritize what's important right now. For us this should be temporary - my H is currently job searching and should have a decent increase in pay (though he'll also start paying back SLs and likely added commuting costs, so who knows how this will really affect our bottom line I guess). So anyway, assuming that this is temporary for us, I've tried to keep our savings stable but I haven't added much to it. We haven't bought any new stuff for the apartment that wasn't absolutely necessary, and this year instead of flying somewhere for vacation we are doing a road trip. None of this has been a huge sacrifice, but it's some small adjustments to our normal that I think have helped. That and just really paying attention to spending. We do go out to eat/drink pretty frequently because we are in a city now and want to enjoy ourselves, so this means we spend less on other things, I make more of a point of shopping at Aldi for groceries, etc.
I'm not clear if you are having trouble paying your bills or if you are just having trouble getting ahead. If you are struggling to even afford the basics, my last paragraph probably isn't helpful. But if it's more the extras and savings, I think to some extent it helps me to cut myself a break. Maybe this year we are just going to stay afloat and not get ahead, and that has to be ok. If you think this is long term with no feasible end in sight, you may want to think of bigger things that can change. Do you have the ability to rent a cheaper place? Move somewhere else to find better jobs? Can your H continue to look for another job? Do you have any ability to get paid more eventually? Maybe these are not immediate solutions to consider, but in the long term hopefully things will change.
I agree with the budget. That is the first step. Can your H do something on the weekends like work at a restaurant or retail? Can he do something on his own time with something that is flexible like Instacart, Uber/Lyft, Postmates/Door Dash/Uber Eats, or even pizza delivery?
I agree that a budget is critical. It's hard to manage money without one. I keep a running excel spreadsheet and track literally every dollar that we spend, even when sometimes it hurts to see how much things add up.
I moved to a new state last July too, and while H and I have both been employed the whole time we lived here, we took a huge hit in monthly discretionary/savings money - our rent/health insurance is about $1100 more per month than it was in our old state, and we are making around 3k less combined than we did back then. Not a huge pay drop, but giant increase in bills, plus many things here are more expensive (eating out, drinks, parking, etc). It has been a rough adjustment but keeping a careful budget has helped.
It has also been helpful to prioritize what's important right now. For us this should be temporary - my H is currently job searching and should have a decent increase in pay (though he'll also start paying back SLs and likely added commuting costs, so who knows how this will really affect our bottom line I guess). So anyway, assuming that this is temporary for us, I've tried to keep our savings stable but I haven't added much to it. We haven't bought any new stuff for the apartment that wasn't absolutely necessary, and this year instead of flying somewhere for vacation we are doing a road trip. None of this has been a huge sacrifice, but it's some small adjustments to our normal that I think have helped. That and just really paying attention to spending. We do go out to eat/drink pretty frequently because we are in a city now and want to enjoy ourselves, so this means we spend less on other things, I make more of a point of shopping at Aldi for groceries, etc.
I'm not clear if you are having trouble paying your bills or if you are just having trouble getting ahead. If you are struggling to even afford the basics, my last paragraph probably isn't helpful. But if it's more the extras and savings, I think to some extent it helps me to cut myself a break. Maybe this year we are just going to stay afloat and not get ahead, and that has to be ok. If you think this is long term with no feasible end in sight, you may want to think of bigger things that can change. Do you have the ability to rent a cheaper place? Move somewhere else to find better jobs? Can your H continue to look for another job? Do you have any ability to get paid more eventually? Maybe these are not immediate solutions to consider, but in the long term hopefully things will change.
We can pay the bills but that’s about it. We just can’t get ahead, can’t save, can’t pay down car payments etc. combined we took about a 15k/year pay (I had been at my job 11 years and was making $64k, now I am at 50k) decrease and an increase in rent, electricity, etc. our insurance benefits have also gotten worse so we can’t afford stuff like new glasses because our insurance covers exam only. Just stuff like that and it feels so defeating.
To be honest I have never made a budget of any kind and don’t even know how. I feel like that’s horrible to admit at 37 years old but it’s the truth.
In this case I think the best place to start is to list your monthly income and your monthly bills. Subtract the bills from your income and that is what is left over for other expenses (i.e., groceries, personal care, eating out, etc.). Then you track this left over money for a month to see how much you are actually spending on each discretionary category. Then you can start making decisions about places to cut back to feed some money into savings. Even if you can only afford to filter $5 a week to start and then keep upping it. And set up automatic transfers for the day you get paid so you don't have to even think about it.
The thing that has helped us the most is the direct deposit of our paychecks are split between our checking account and savings account. I have the base amount I need from each check to meet budget deposited in the checking account and anything over that automatically goes in savings. Since I am salary my savings deposit is the same every week. Since DH is hourly his saving deposit fluctuates but the budget isn't affected.
I"m sorry. This is really stressful. You were really brave and strong to pick up and move to stay employed!
It's totally fine to admit that at 37 you've never budgeted before. I think that's more normal than you may know. You already got some good advice above. I use a spreadsheet for mine, but you could also use a free online program like Mint that can guide you thru making a budget by looking at your current spending.
I agree that a budget is critical. It's hard to manage money without one. I keep a running excel spreadsheet and track literally every dollar that we spend, even when sometimes it hurts to see how much things add up.
I moved to a new state last July too, and while H and I have both been employed the whole time we lived here, we took a huge hit in monthly discretionary/savings money - our rent/health insurance is about $1100 more per month than it was in our old state, and we are making around 3k less combined than we did back then. Not a huge pay drop, but giant increase in bills, plus many things here are more expensive (eating out, drinks, parking, etc). It has been a rough adjustment but keeping a careful budget has helped.
It has also been helpful to prioritize what's important right now. For us this should be temporary - my H is currently job searching and should have a decent increase in pay (though he'll also start paying back SLs and likely added commuting costs, so who knows how this will really affect our bottom line I guess). So anyway, assuming that this is temporary for us, I've tried to keep our savings stable but I haven't added much to it. We haven't bought any new stuff for the apartment that wasn't absolutely necessary, and this year instead of flying somewhere for vacation we are doing a road trip. None of this has been a huge sacrifice, but it's some small adjustments to our normal that I think have helped. That and just really paying attention to spending. We do go out to eat/drink pretty frequently because we are in a city now and want to enjoy ourselves, so this means we spend less on other things, I make more of a point of shopping at Aldi for groceries, etc.
I'm not clear if you are having trouble paying your bills or if you are just having trouble getting ahead. If you are struggling to even afford the basics, my last paragraph probably isn't helpful. But if it's more the extras and savings, I think to some extent it helps me to cut myself a break. Maybe this year we are just going to stay afloat and not get ahead, and that has to be ok. If you think this is long term with no feasible end in sight, you may want to think of bigger things that can change. Do you have the ability to rent a cheaper place? Move somewhere else to find better jobs? Can your H continue to look for another job? Do you have any ability to get paid more eventually? Maybe these are not immediate solutions to consider, but in the long term hopefully things will change.
We can pay the bills but that’s about it. We just can’t get ahead, can’t save, can’t pay down car payments etc. combined we took about a 15k/year pay (I had been at my job 11 years and was making $64k, now I am at 50k) decrease and an increase in rent, electricity, etc. our insurance benefits have also gotten worse so we can’t afford stuff like new glasses because our insurance covers exam only. Just stuff like that and it feels so defeating.
I hear you on it being defeating. Every time I think we might actually get ahead I have crap come up too. This week it was needing new brake pads and spark plugs in our car, and then today I had my first physical therapy appointment for some pain I've been having since December, and I realized it's $30 for each visit - and she wants me to come bi-weekly for at least a month. Health related costs in particular infuriate me.
As far as a budget, I just keep an excel sheet. I have formulas (basic ones) set up to subtract all our fixed bills from our income, and then I just call whatever is left over "discretionary". I don't budget for groceries/gas/personal care/clothes/etc because I find it too frustrating and I'm more likely to get off track if I feel like I've blown my whole grocery budget for the month and it's only the 14th. I personally have found it easier to stay on track when I just say "this is all the money I have and when it's gone, it's gone". So if I happen to spend $50 more one month on groceries, I spend $50 less on eating out or buying items or whatever. It's not perfect and sometimes I go over budget, but I have to think I'd be going over budget a lot more if I wasn't paying attention.
I really think it could help you to budget. Stuff adds up soooo quickly and without knowing what it's adding up to, it's nearly impossible for me to not overspend. I'm not saying overspending is your whole problem (sounds like income is a huge piece!) but it's a lot easier to figure out where you want to cut back when you have actual data to work with.
We can pay the bills but that’s about it. We just can’t get ahead, can’t save, can’t pay down car payments etc. combined we took about a 15k/year pay (I had been at my job 11 years and was making $64k, now I am at 50k) decrease and an increase in rent, electricity, etc. our insurance benefits have also gotten worse so we can’t afford stuff like new glasses because our insurance covers exam only. Just stuff like that and it feels so defeating.
I hear you on it being defeating. Every time I think we might actually get ahead I have crap come up too. This week it was needing new brake pads and spark plugs in our car, and then today I had my first physical therapy appointment for some pain I've been having since December, and I realized it's $30 for each visit - and she wants me to come bi-weekly for at least a month. Health related costs in particular infuriate me.
As far as a budget, I just keep an excel sheet. I have formulas (basic ones) set up to subtract all our fixed bills from our income, and then I just call whatever is left over "discretionary". I don't budget for groceries/gas/personal care/clothes/etc because I find it too frustrating and I'm more likely to get off track if I feel like I've blown my whole grocery budget for the month and it's only the 14th. I personally have found it easier to stay on track when I just say "this is all the money I have and when it's gone, it's gone". So if I happen to spend $50 more one month on groceries, I spend $50 less on eating out or buying items or whatever. It's not perfect and sometimes I go over budget, but I have to think I'd be going over budget a lot more if I wasn't paying attention.
I really think it could help you to budget. Stuff adds up soooo quickly and without knowing what it's adding up to, it's nearly impossible for me to not overspend. I'm not saying overspending is your whole problem (sounds like income is a huge piece!) but it's a lot easier to figure out where you want to cut back when you have actual data to work with.
This. Even tracking my dollars was shocking. I was like "oh, we don't go out to eat that much. It can't add up to much" and then I tracked it for a month and was gobsmacked.
OP, here is an article on how to develop a budget.
If you don't want to separate things in to a category, my method is more like wildrice. I added up my monthly income, subtracted my bills (mortgage, insurance, utilities, phone bill, student loan, internet) and had a lump sum left over. That lump sum had to cover what I'm throwing in to savings and all other monthly spending (eating out, groceries, gas, gifts, clothing, entertainment). When that money is gone, it's gone. Anything "left over" at the end of the month is put in to savings. I also put money in to savings as soon as I get paid. If it's not there, I don't miss it. Even if you can save $50 a month, that's a start.
There are a few budgeting apps that are really helpful (and have free versions). I like You Need a Budget (YNAB) but people on here probably have better suggestions.
Is there anything you currently outsource that your H can pick up if his hours are cut short? Can he meal prep so you don’t have to buy as many convenience foods or eat out as much? Do any vehicle maintenance or home projects? I agree that it would be helpful if he could pick up a flexible side-gig like Shipt/Instacart, Door Dash, etc (I don’t believe those require extra vehicle insurance like Uber/Lyft do). That little bit of extra cash might just help you feel like you’re getting your head above water so you aren’t living paycheck to paycheck.
Otherwise, this too shall pass. Stick to a budget so you don’t accumulate debt, and hang tight until a better job or raise for one or both of you comes along, which will happen. I know “hope is not a strategy” but sometimes you just gotta survive.
This. Even tracking my dollars was shocking. I was like "oh, we don't go out to eat that much. It can't add up to much" and then I tracked it for a month and was gobsmacked.
OP, here is an article on how to develop a budget.
If you don't want to separate things in to a category, my method is more like wildrice. I added up my monthly income, subtracted my bills (mortgage, insurance, utilities, phone bill, student loan, internet) and had a lump sum left over. That lump sum had to cover what I'm throwing in to savings and all other monthly spending (eating out, groceries, gas, gifts, clothing, entertainment). When that money is gone, it's gone. Anything "left over" at the end of the month is put in to savings. I also put money in to savings as soon as I get paid. If it's not there, I don't miss it. Even if you can save $50 a month, that's a start.
One small thing that helped me a LOT for budgeting was to put my electric and gas bills on what our company calls "budget billing" - it has different names but basically, they estimate your usage for the year and divide it by 12 and then you pay the exact same bill amount every month. They do settle up once a year so that if you've overpaid, they credit you the difference, etc. But it can help to make one more bill to be a predictable, known amount.
How are you feeling on all this money stuff today, dirtybella?
Last year our church offered Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover course. DH and I took it although I assumed with a degree in finance and almost 20 years working in banking I wouldn't learn much - and ultimately I didn't. But I did learn the ONE thing that has absolutely changed the way I budget, and actually makes it work. DH and I had been trying to 13 years to get on a budget, and it just never worked. And now, we have been on one that is actually working for 15 months. We have saved more money and paid down more debt in these last 15 months then we ever have. And that one thing was this: make your budget specific to each month. Mind blown. Before we would always start a new year with great intentions and create a "one size fits all" budget for the year, so every month looked the same. But of course, we all know stuff comes up and then the budget gets tossed out the window. DRs concept was to build your budget monthly, and it makes so much sense that I felt really stupid that it didn't dawn on me before! It made planning for things like wedding gifts, oil changes, car registration fees, a new vacuum, back to school clothes, etc so much easier! Because it's hard to know in January that my vacuum will die in May, but now when it does I can just add that to the budget for the next month and adjust other categories accordingly.
I really recommend checking out his book from the library and reading up on budgeting. Good luck, you can do this!
So DH and I have looked at our expenses vs income to get a better idea of where we stand. Without my second job we have enough to pay bills and live. However, I was offered a new job yesterday that is about 5k more a year than I am making with a few small ($800) bonuses sprinkled in. It is teaching so I would have holiday breaks and the insurance is way better coverage. The compensation package also includes company contributions to a retirement account even if I am not contributing. I am thinking about taking it and keeping my second job until it starts. We were thinking of using half of my second job money to go directly to savings and half to knock bigger items (new glasses etc) off of our list.
Another thing that came up. My parents offered to pay off my car and I pay them instead. They offered this because my interest rate is very high and this would be a way for me to actually get it paid off. I am feeling bad about this though. I am 37 and don’t want to need help from my parents still.
Congrats on the job offer! That sounds much better.
Don't worry about having help from your parents. It doesn't sound like this will harm them in any way, so what's the harm? So many people who are on top of things financially are that way because they had help from their families at some point (or get continued help, or an inheritance, or whatever). If your parents offered, it's because they are able to and want to.
I've often daydreamed of what would happen if my parents would pay off my SL and let me pay them back with low/no interest. I'd never ask but I absolutely would take them up on the offer if they made it...
Congrats on the job offer! That sounds much better.
Don't worry about having help from your parents. It doesn't sound like this will harm them in any way, so what's the harm? So many people who are on top of things financially are that way because they had help from their families at some point (or get continued help, or an inheritance, or whatever). If your parents offered, it's because they are able to and want to.
I've often daydreamed of what would happen if my parents would pay off my SL and let me pay them back with low/no interest. I'd never ask but I absolutely would take them up on the offer if they made it...
I agree with this. Obviously I don't know what your parents' situation is, but I'm assuming they wouldn't have offered if it would create a financial difficulty for them? They love you and want to help you recover from your job loss. Don't feel bad about it - accepting an interest-free loan isn't like mooching off your parents.
Re: the car, if I offered this to one of my children, I hope they would take me up on it. Just put it all in writing and document your payments like you would on a standard commercial loan; that may help you feel less "beholden" to them.
Congrats on the new job! I think your plan to keep your second job until the new one starts is good, as long as it's sustainable for you.
One thing to think about regarding the car - Are your parents the type to potentially hold this against you / above your head? My parents loaned us money toward buying a house, and it has caused tension in our relationship - both while we were paying it back (we often felt like they were judging us for spending on other things vs. trying to pay them back more quickly), and now that we've paid it back, there's an expectation that we will loan them money if they need it (and my dad has even offhandedly made comments about us paying for their healthcare or living expenses in the future - not sure how serious he is about this as it's always just a throwaway comment during another conversation).
Regarding budgeting, we also follow Dave Ramsey's plan of budgeting every month. It's been life-changing for us. A side perk is that I am a lot more intentional with my time as well as my money - I have to know what's going on in the upcoming month so that I know what I need to budget for. It's allowed us to really start investing (both time and money) into things and people that matter the most to us.
Congratulations on your job offer! It sounds like it could be really good.
I second what lust2hart says about your parents holding it over your head. If you do decide to go with it, ohgillian was right. Come up with a loan agreement, a monthly payment schedule, and an agreed upon time that you would pay it back in. Alternatively, could you refinance with a local bank or credit union if you have good credit? Are you eligible for USAA membership? They have good car refi rates available. Most car refi loans don't have any closing costs associated with them.
I'll also recommend Dave Ramsey. If you have no place to start, it is a good one. I don't agree with everything he says, but there are some excellent lessons. You can find a local group to take it through. If you go to church, ask your church about it as they often host classes.
My husband hasn’t gotten a second job because his current job doesn’t have set hours. Some days he’s done at 5 and some days he is done at 1. He is an electricians helper so it all depends on the job that day. That makes it a lot harder for him to find something that works.
Is he working on his license? If not, he should find his local apprenticeship program and enroll this fall. First, for the income potential (around here, a 3rd year makes more than a 1st year). Plus the networking potential, he’ll be in classes with other folks and will find out who the good employers around are, and maybe can get a recommendation in. I’m honestly a bit surprised he isn’t getting a full 40, but it could be the local market. My H is always complaining the market is so tight his company can’t compete (and they therefore get the crap helpers).
also, if he is in residential- find a commercial company! More likely to get a full 40.