Random Q kid friendships

[waverly]

My kid friendships have thus far seemed to have changed every year in school and depending on sports.

How do you determine which friends to keep up with and which to let fizzle? Also I understand it’s not always up to me and my kid and the other parents/ kids are letting it fizzle. We could reach out and they not be interested anyway.

So far I’m letting it be very organic and happen naturally but sometimes I might want to reach out to another parent but not sure if it’s worth it if the kids aren’t as close anymore and there isn’t any camp or school or activities where they will see each other anymore.

[mommyatty]

If I really like the parents, then I figure it’s my friendship that happens to have the benefit of the kids getting along. We had a pool party today with two families where we love the other parents. Both have kids in DD’s class. The kids hang out but aren’t besties at school. If any of the kids were mean, I would let it drop, but the kids get along great when they’re together. They just don’t necessarily choose to seek each other out at school.

[vasc]

First, I’d find out from your kid if he/she still really likes the other kids and is still interested in maintaining a friendship (or, did something happen that made it fizzle out, other than just being assigned to different classes?).

Assuming the answer is yes, he still wants to be friends, it’s just been lack of opportunity to re-connect, then I’d try to create opportunities to re-connect.

You never know when the kids might need each other in the future, whether by way of being in same classes again, trying new activities and sports, etc.

[mustardseed2007]

We continue to have playdates with some kids from DS' old school because the parents are really nice people who reach out. Part of it is that the old school was very small, so those kids need friends. DS has been happy to continue playdates because those boys are sort of different types of kids than the ones at his current school (ie they're into science and legos not sports). So We maintain the friendships however we can.

[abs]

DD has a few friends she has had since preschool. Mostly the girls from her her soccer team...they've been together since pre-k and now they are going into 3rd grade. At this point all the parents are friends as well so it makes it easier to keep up the friendships.

As far as friends from school it depends on other parents at this age. DD became good friends with a few kids in her Kinder class and the parents became friends, too. So it's been easy to maintain that. Since then she's become friends with other girls she wants to see outside of school but it has harder to make that happen and the friendships slide.

[waverly]

Mostly kids from school- not parents that I am also friends with, but I did like some of the parents.

Some of them are receptive and some of them seem like why are you texting me 3 months after the kids were together? I mean they don’t actually say that- just the impression I get from their response/ lack of response or actions.

[mommyatty]

If it’s not about building a community for the whole family, then I just let it be organic and what I have time and energy for.

[mae0111]

DD1 asks for play dates with exactly one kid from her old school. The rest were awful, or just not people we cross paths with (different activities).

DD2 asks for one kid outside of school. I really like the kid and her family, so I cultivate that one.

They will be with the same kids until we leave the school (likely after 6th or 8th grade). There are very few families that I don’t like, and luckily my kids don’t gravitate toward their kids. I’m aware that they are likely saying the same about me and my kids 😂.

[keh2oblue]

my DD's bff moved to the next town in 1st grade, and I was sure that would be the end of their friendship, but they've continued to have playdates, and have done soccer and theater together, and are just as close as they were 3 years ago...we just have to drive farther to get to her house

My DD does so many activities (YMCA aftercare, swim team, soccer, theater) that she knows a lot of kids that go to other schools. I try to encourage relationships, but she just can't have frequent playdates with all of them.

[2chatter]

It is entirely kid driven here - except I edit some kids out or decrease the frequency. That looks different for each of my three. Oldest is an outgoing introvert - so she has high social capabilities but low social needs. Middle is never home unless there are friends here as well, or we have plans. Youngest is a mix - he can take or leave being around people but we regularly host or he goes to play with a rotation of about 12 boys.

Some people we just lose track of - they change soccer teams or something, and it’s too hard without that connection.

[186momx]

We have a group of daycare buddies that are starting to fizzle. The kids are now 3 or 4 years into school so only see each other at b-day parties or if someone sets something up. None of us live close to each other so that makes things harder. I think it is even harder for us as DD is the only girl in a group of 4 families of all boys. Something about boys/girls not wanting to hang at 7/8 age range. DD says she misses them but then gets frustrated when we do see them and they exclude her.

I think I might do a couple shout outs this summer and see if anyone will meet up at the community pool or get air.