6/14 Health and Wellness Check-In

[ESF]

Hello ladies! Kicking off our first weekly check in. How are you all taking care of yourselves this weekend? Goals for the week? Struggles this week?

If you don't know what this is about, read the article and thread here.

pandce.proboards.com/thread/610619/smash-wellness-industry

We aren't here to dissect our diets or share fitbit stats. The purpose here is to take a more holistic view of our mental and physical health, chat about body image issues, and whatever else we need to do to feel good about ourselves.

[ESF]

I think my short term goals for the coming weeks are to try to work in more meditation. I think one of my challenges in working in more movement and being able to pay attention to more healthful living is that my brain always feels so cluttered and stressed out. I've got a mediation app that I never use - this weekend I'm going to start.

[eddy]

I have this weird issue with working out. When I am busy with life/work I am a million times better about working out. And working out hard. My busy season has ended for work. I have more free time. I have longer time in the morning to get ready. You would think I would use this time to get some tough workouts in. Nope! Instead I am telling myself that my body is craving slowing down. It is hard to keep up the pace I maintained from January to May. But I am still struggling with the voice in my head that is chastising me for not working out as frequently or as intensely.

I did the same thing last year in the summer.

As always I struggling with allowing myself to just be and not pushing hard.

[eddy]

Oh and my goal this next week is to totally relax on the beach in Puerto Rico. Just shut my brain off and like I sad above, just be. It has been sooooooo long since I had this type of vacation/opportunity.

I mean what a great location to practice being present lolololol. Life is rough!

[twilightmv]

I started running this week! Exercise for me as an adult has been a hot yoga class once every 6 weeks, and I have never been able to run. Not even a mile. But I was feeling peppy at the beginning of the week and gave it a shot. I did a run/walk/run around my neighborhood and really enjoyed it, so I’ve done it every night this week except for last night due to weather.

[wambam]

I mentioned this in the other thread, but I have a daily checklist with items I need to do every day to feel physically and mentally well. I’ve done well this week with a couple of my checklist items (drinking enough water, minimizing sugar) but not as good at others (not weighing and measuring myself, minimizing screen time). I have a busy weekend at my parents’ house, and I need to plan ahead for making sure I can be successful out of my normal routine.

[Deleted]

I ordered Intuitive Eating today. H and I had a long talk last night about the need to incorporate more healthy habits in a body positive way. (I really want him to exercise primarily because he has high cholesterol, hypertension, and sleep apnea [all properly treated medically], and I want him to be around for a long time! So unlike the strangers who claim they just care about fatties' health, I know his actual health history and his family history and want to have a fulfilling retirement with him!)

I've done a lot of thinking about this and talked a ton in therapy yesterday. I am one of the stats - I lost about 45 pounds back in 2007/2008. I kept it off for about four years, but guess what? I weigh more now than I did at the beginning of 2007! So I started thinking about the future - if I continue to focus on weight loss and restrict and deprive myself, the data show that there is a good chance I'll be even heavier in 20 years. But what if I don't do that? What if I focus on eating well and doing movement that I like? I think I have a good shot of being the same weight I am now in 20 years but still being healthy.

So I deleted my calorie tracker from my phone this morning. I'm planning to sell my Apple Watch and use the money to buy a nice normal watch.

My goal right now is to follow my hunger cues and eat food that nourishes me. I've been overall doing this well, but it's the navigating treats and alcohol that's a mindfuck. So last night, I was a little bit hungry after dinner. We have some lemon cake and raspberry custard in the freezer. I didn't tell myself that I couldn't have it. But when I thought about what I DID want, it was a (sugary, dessert-like) yogurt that was in our fridge.

My other goal is to make a habit of doing movement that I enjoy. I enjoy yoga, walking, strength training, and swimming. I want to do something each day. But I don't want to feel tied to a very specific plan or goal.

This has been some heavy shit, but I honestly feel lighter and less stressed than I have at years. Thank you for coming to my ther-ther sesh.

[Velar Fricative]

This weekend is the first one in a while where we don't have concrete plans (except for a Father's Day reservation on Sunday afternoon), so I am taking advantage of this and planning how I'm going to move since I will have time to do so. I should probably check the weather first...

I also have a Y membership that I just don't use for myself but I am going to check their summer calendar this weekend to see what's happening that could work for me. I will stick with classes because I'm better at committing to specific things.

@@@ stuff behind spoiler:

SPOILER: Click to show

I recently bought some flattering new bathing suits and I'm insisting to myself to get in the pool with my kids. DD1 is 5 and old enough to notice if I'm not getting into the pool like her father is doing.

[Velar Fricative]

Also, I fell apart recently on managing our household budget. I mean, we're fine, but I have found that when I'm tracking household spending better, I'm eating better, feeling physically better (probably as a result of eating better), feel happier, I'm performing better at work, etc. It's weird to me how financial wellness, physical wellness, and mental wellness are so intertwined for me. It's not any one thing that instantly makes me feel better, but there is a huge domino effect for me when I'm doing one of the above well (and on the flip side, when I fall apart in one of those areas, I tend to fall apart in all the other areas).

The idea that all of these things are connected for me can be a source of stress because they affect every facet of my life and I need to maintain those happier levels to keep things moving along well, but also inspiration because I know that if I am really acing one of those things, the rest will fall into place.

[cattledogkisses]

I mentioned in the other thread that I live with a chronic illness, and something is just out of whack with my body right now, and I don’t know why. When I feel like I’m not in control of what’s happening with my body my natural reaction is to want to clamp down hard on the things that I can control, which isn’t always a healthy mindset. So, that’s my struggle right now.

[RoxMonster]

I am feeling better today than I have in a few weeks and slept better last night than I have in a few weeks. I have been having some issues with anxiety. I'm not suggesting what I tried is a "cure-all" by any means, but when I sat down to think about it, I have been drinking SO much caffeine these last few weeks. And I constantly felt on-edge and was having trouble sleeping. Yesterday, I had some morning coffee but then drank water the rest of the day. I also went for a really nice hike because the weather was gorgeous and I felt like enjoying it. I slept better than I have in awhile--slept straight through the night for the first time in weeks and don't feel on edge this morning. I know there is more to my anxiety than just caffeine intact, but I do think it exacerbates it for me.

I think my goal in the upcoming days is to be cognizant of my caffeine intake and focus on doing things that relax me, like taking hikes and watching ASMR.

[mskitkat]

@@@@
I could use resources on peri-natal anxiety if anyone has them. I had a total breakdown yesterday that started with being convinced I was about to die in a car crash (not for any close call or anything. I was just suddenly convinced I wouldn’t make it home), and then I couldn’t take a very normal toddler tantrum because I believed in that moment that my DD doesn’t love me.

I’m better today, but yesterday was very bad.

[downtoearth]

cattledogkisses, sounds tough. I think chronic issues are so hard b/c you can't just take a break from them or ignore them for a bit. hugs

mskitkat, hugs. Not specific to perinatal anxiety, but I do have some tricks I use for anxiety and unproductive thought pattern issues that my therapist has given me this winter/spring. First is deep calming breath, which my therapist told me actually helps stimulate your parasympathetic response - breathe in through nose to fill lower lungs, hold 3-4 seconds, then breath out naturally while you try to relax your jaw and face. Also text a friend or family member with a signal text - like, "I'm feeling anxious," or "I need support," and let them know that you just need to hear from them via text or call that they are there for you and care for you. Lastly, it helps me to talk to that fear or unproductive thought pattern and say in my brain, "That is not true, it may feel real, but I know in my head that that thought isn't true." Doesn't stop you from feeling it, but it does set up a script for changing my thought patterns.

[downtoearth]

Good: I got out on the trails at 6am today with a friend and the connection to nature is really my happy place - plus I got to support her, and think less about myself since I've been so selfishly focused on me for months, and I appreciate giving back and connecting again.

Bad: I still fall into a lot of woe-is-me talk and this isn't fair thoughts all the time. I would like to find an outlet for those b/c I'm feeling stuck in a lot of that. More in spoiler. But I wonder if I need a new therapist b/c although I really like mine, I only get to see her about once a month b/c she is so booked. I dread trying to find a new one, but am not sure if I just need to do some more work outside therapy to help me between sessions.

@ in spoiler

SPOILER: Click to show

I am glad that the kids seemed unfazed and happy to be starting going to STBX & girlfriend's home. Their ability to be excited and not messed up about it means that I was better than I thought about keeping them from the ugly affair stuff and that my visible pain didn't scar them (yet or so far). But I am also mad that it's another way that STBX just gets away with treating me (and the kids) like shit with no long-term accountability to any of us. He's apologized to me and kids, but mine was pretty lame as far as that goes (i.e. sorry you found out how you did, I didn't want you to find out that way, sorry I was unhappy a long time and didn't tell you, you were the most important person in my life for a long time, etc.). The kid apologies is "sorry I caused you pain in this transition" but not sorry for the transition, and I don't think he even realizes how much he had withdrawn from kids for months and how they are still trying so hard to please him. All in all, my mental health feels stalled and I feel pretty alone in wanting karma to make his life harder... and it's really only easier b/c he still has a two-income house, support and love from a new person, an instant baby/toddler half time, raise at work, kids who are stoked to be going to his house now, and friends who are coming back around and just being his buddies again (while also being around/friends with me and saying "I'm still mad at him, but we are reconnecting" which is their right). I just want him to have a harder life for awhile and it's not working that way - instead I'm struggling mentally and financially and he's just hunky-dory, and even happy when I see him out and about

[Velar Fricative]

Hugs, downtoearth. I feel like you've been handling everything throw at you so well but I know it just cannot be easy. I hope you can see your therapist more often or find one you can see more often that you grow to like as well.

[1confused1]

I am taking a one thing at a time approach.

I've started getting up at 5am Monday through Friday to run or walk on the treadmill for half an hour and then walk my dog for half an hour. It is actually working out really well and I can see the effect exercise is having on my blood pressure. I've been doing this for 2 weeks and think it will become a routine.

Next up is drinking less. But I'm going on vacation over the next few weeks, so this could be challenging.

[picksthemusic]

I've been eating at least one salad a day. I feel less bloated and less tired. I'm calling that a win.

Now I just need to get my butt back on the treadmill.

[pixy0stix]

Work made me cry this week, so I've dialed back my "give a shit" to acceptable levels. Which sounds bad, but what I really mean is went through and prioritized what I had to care about, and what just had to be done, and I felt better for doing so.

[cattledogkisses]

Jun 14, 2019 12:14:00 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

cattledogkisses , sounds tough. I think chronic issues are so hard b/c you can't just take a break from them or ignore them for a bit. hugs

Thank you. Im fortunate that most of the time I actually feel ok, it’s just every once in a while things go off the rails with my physical body and I don’t know why. When I feel out of control with what’s happening with my body, my brain looks for something it can control, and sometimes that leads to obsessive behaviors. I know that recognizing that for what it is is part of the battle; choosing not to engage with it is harder. 

[pugz]

I am focusing on recognizing when I feel full and not eating past the point of fullness (but if I do, just being matter of fact about it, no shaming!) This means being more in tune while I am eating instead of distracted talking or reading or playing on my phone. And taking smaller portions and then going back for more if I am still hungry.

I need to set aside some time to make some protein balls this weekend. They have a ton of ingredients so they are kind of a pain to make but I do a double batch and freeze them and they are great as a snack when I need something but not a lot or when I'm on the go. Also they have peanut butter and chocolate chips in them and kind of taste like cookie dough so that's a win!

I did something the other day that really helped me calm down and ground myself. I closed my eyes and ran through a list of 10 things/people I'm grateful for. Felt SIGNIFICANTLY calmer afterward, and was able to refocus.

[mrsukyankee]

downtoearth, I'd like the suggest the book The Happiness Trap - it's a self-help version of what I do in therapy (not entirely but a good portion). It's a really good way of dealing with unhelpful thoughts. We CAN'T get rid of them. But we can learn not to get hooked by them.

I'm in the midst of applying for a new job, selling two houses and buying a new house. I'm stressed. So, I'm trying to do what I teach others to do and it's working okay for the most part. What I remind myself is that anxiety is okay and I can still do despite feeling it.

[goldengirlz]

I was pretty inspired by the thread this past week.

And I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday. So my coworkers and I did a group team-building fitness class — and it was a workout I do regularly. So even though I was the oldest and fattest one in the group (not hard if you knew where I worked), I rocked it. I’m one of the only ones not sore today, lol.

My epiphany is that I’m running my own race, so to speak. And what I look like in my skin doesn’t define who I am and what I can do.

Or something cheesy like that. Anyway.

[foundmylazybum]

Each run or walk I have been on this week has been different. Some have been hard. Like on tuesday I had the hardest workout I've done in years and there were moments when I was like "I don't think I can do this!" And on Thusday I raced and both races were challenging--it was HOT, WINDY, and at times my body was like "Girl. Why you do this?" Then on the other days of the week, there have been gorgeous running days. It is incredibly green here right now, the hills are fucking alive with the sound of music green.

Each day I've taken moments to be "in it." If I was saying to myself with doubt, "I'm not sure I can do this rep!" Okay, I have doubt. I can run with doubt, but I can also move my legs, breathe and use my baller aerobic capacity to get that 400 done.

If it's hot, and windy, and I'm asking "wtf I'm doing this" I can run in that too. Just because things hurt doesn't mean the outcome is going to be "bad" The race/workout isn't over yet so keep it going and get to the end to find out the outcome.

On beautiful days, I stopped and sometimes just stood there and smiled because I live in the most awesome place.

[Jalapeñomel]

I can’t find a therapist who will take me. 👎🏻

[cuadrado]

Jun 14, 2019 13:59:42 GMT -5 pugz said:

I am focusing on recognizing when I feel full and not eating past the point of fullness (but if I do, just being matter of fact about it, no shaming!) This means being more in tune while I am eating instead of distracted talking or reading or playing on my phone. And taking smaller portions and then going back for more if I am still hungry.

I really love this. Guilt is not productive anyway.

For me: today I took a deep stretch class at my gym. I have been purposely trying to do things like that or Yin Yoga because 1.) it's the only time I really turn my mind off and put my phone away and 2.) I really need to stretch more and build more strength in my core. I always have to put stuff like this in my calendar because I end up prioritizing work, but I got up and went to a morning class instead. It was a good start to the day. 

A lot of my overall wellness goals have to do with stress management. Getting into routines, tacking tasks that seem overwhelming and having better communication with my H about things I'm struggling with have all been really helpful with decreasing my stress lately.

[winecat]

downtoearth- It's only been a few months. The first year was utter hell. Sometime after the year mark, I realized how much better things had gotten. Be kind to yourself right now. You're still in the thick of the emotions and logistics.

[redheadbaker]

I had mentioned a while back that I was worried that a rate endocrine disorder I had about 10 years ago (caused by steroid-excreting tumor on my pituitary gland) was recurring.

I had bloodwork done, and that doesn't appear to be the case. Whew! But it does mean I need to work harder to drop the weight I've gained.

[aurora]

My insomnia has been really bad lately, and this week has had a super high work load, but I've been cutting off screen time at 9pm (an hour before normal bed time) and have slept much better the last 2 nights. I need to do better at just stopping then, no matter what I'm working on. Also at not promising to meet too many deadlines.

[bronxgirl]

A couple months ago I started journaling again. I used to find it helpful, but took a 14 year break (for no particular reason). It's been great having a place to vent my thoughts without having to worry about judgement/ reactions/ advice, etc. I also like that it gives me a chance to vent whenever I need it, vs. trying to call a friend and waiting a couple days until we both have time to talk.

[pugz]

Jalapeñomel I could not find anyone that would take my insurance, but tons that would do private pay.