dreamcrisp1 I’m so sorry DD2 had colic from sun up to sun down from 4 weeks - ~9 weeks. (And she’s still not easy now but way better at 12 weeks) It was the worst time ever. Things that worked for us: bouncing on an exercise ball for hours while she napped. Also putting her in a ring sling and going for walks for hours. If the weather was bad I went to the mall. The constant noise acted like a white noise and I could keep moving so in the time it took her to fall asleep no one was subjected to her too long. It was an exhausting horrible period. Just remember if she’s crying she’s breathing so it’s ok.
Sorry dreamcrisp1 - it does get easier! I promise - he will soon stop the constant crying, he will sleep through the night consistently. My first loved to be in a wrap with a muslin draped over his head and me walking around singing or shushing (very loudly). I remember thinking at six weeks it will get easier, at 12 weeks even more so, and so on.
dreamcrisp1 I think it’s important with a newborn to just lower your expectations all the way to the floor. If it’s a good day, try and spend it recovering and doing what you need to recharge and face the next bad day. If it’s a bad day, hold on, drop your plans, it will get better. As you said in your first post you had hoped that you were past the bad days. It takes a while to get there, and I know that each setback feels soul crushing, but eventually your baseline will improve and you won’t even have noticed that you are past the worst of it all.
My first child, DD, was challenging and I had major health issues PP so I can tell you with certainty that you are not alone. It is so hard being a Mom. I can’t imagine how hard it is when isolated from friends and family. You can make it through the rough part though. You completed your coursework while pregnant and working. You’re awesome. This is just a completely different kind of challenge than you’re used to (meaning infants suck and it’s hard when you have lost control of the ability to manage the situation entirely).
I am so sorry that the crying is triggering so much anxiety for you. I do think it’s important to get out if you can. I don’t know if you’ve tried, but we found babywearing went better for DD than the stroller; so I would go out for walks in the rain with her strapped to me and carrying a big umbrella. If you have to take public transport know that it’s a short trip and the vast majority of people have had a baby themselves in their life, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many of us. We have all been there. Even before I had kids, I never felt anything but sympathy for That Mom who was having a Bad Day.
Big hugs. I’m just another Mom giving you a big hug. I’ve been up for two hours now with a congested newborn who is apparently too tired to latch but too hungry to go to sleep. I’m perplexed. At some point the tired or the hunger will win.
dreamcrisp1 I am so sorry you are struggling. You are not doing anything wrong and you most not alone. It seems like the anxiety is really interfering with your day to day life. Have you talked to anyone about it? Of course we are here for you and I’m sure your doctor is too. www.postpartum.net has a lot of resources like volunteers you can talk to & online support groups .
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Nov 6, 2019 10:58:14 GMT -5
Thank you all so much. Every single word means the world to me and I am so appreciative of the support. It’s been a really hard week but I am trying really hard to be patient. I just feel very defeated as a parent. And that it’s not fair because I see so many others enjoying their baby and I want that. I don’t want to wish away time with him because I will never have this again. So that’s really weighing on me.
I was in the exact same boat as @lifetakestwo after my first 2 babies. Postpartum depression and anxiety SUCK so so much and I thought it was normal to constantly wish the newborn time away. I didn’t even know how deep I was until I went to a therapist (specializing in pre/postpartum women) before my 3rd was born. This postpartum experience hasn’t been easy and I’ve still struggled with anxiety but it is soooo much better due to my therapist and psychiatrist.
And that it’s not fair because I see so many others enjoying their baby and I want that. I don’t want to wish away time with him because I will never have this again. So that’s really weighing on me.
This was 100% how I felt. I didn’t understand when people were talking about all the Netflix they watched. How could they hear the tv over the screaming? I’d see little babies in coffee shops and restaurants and be so jealous and depressed. It’s okay to feel this way! It’s okay to be upset that your baby is harder than others. It does not reflect negatively on you that you want this stage to end. Anyone would! You are just going to have different favorite life stages. I loved 9 months. I really loved 18 months - 2.5. I know this doesn’t help today, but I just want to make sure you know that you are allowed to have these feelings. I definitely struggled with trying to shut a lot of these feelings down which turned out to be unhelpful.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Nov 6, 2019 16:17:38 GMT -5
Had our 6-month well-visit and physical for DS's tube procedure on Friday. Little mister is turning into quite the whopper. He gained 3lbs in 2 months to jump up to the 68th percentile and is sitting in the 99th percentile for height right now.
He's good to go for surgery on Friday! His pedi was happy to hear we had gone ahead and opted for tubes. One thing that's kind of cool about having a kid with a medical condition is that we've been seen by a lot of medical students. It makes me feel good that someone who goes through this after we do will have a doctor or nurse who learned about cleft palates from my son. The NP student we saw today with our pedi was so damn sweet to DS. DS was making big goo-goo eyes at her and laughing and smiling. It warmed my heart to think of another kid getting that same treatment.
Post by lifetaketwo on Nov 6, 2019 16:41:00 GMT -5
My c section incision is still not healed, and my baby is 3 months old. I’m so over it. This has been never ending. My OB doesn’t seem to care so I saw my PCP today. She steri stripped it again. We’ll see
My c section incision is still not healed, and my baby is 3 months old. I’m so over it. This has been never ending. My OB doesn’t seem to care so I saw my PCP today. She steri stripped it again. We’ll see
What? I'm so sorry your OB is not taking care of this. I would probably be asking for a plastics consult tbh.
Probably stupid question, but how much protein are you getting? Has your albumin level been checked recently, what about iron? Zinc?
My c section incision is still not healed, and my baby is 3 months old. I’m so over it. This has been never ending. My OB doesn’t seem to care so I saw my PCP today. She steri stripped it again. We’ll see
What? I'm so sorry your OB is not taking care of this. I would probably be asking for a plastics consult tbh.
Probably stupid question, but how much protein are you getting? Has your albumin level been checked recently, what about iron? Zinc?
Ugh. It really sucks. My OB (who until this had been great) just doesn’t care. He said to me last week “well it looks better than it did 8 weeks ago!” Like no shit. I had a ranging infection then. It became infected at 4 week PP, so I’m 10 weeks post infection. It opened up right at the infection spot and it’s definitely pitted/hollow right there. The good news is it’s pretty shallow at this point. My PCP seems to think it’s more of a mechanical or rubbing issue because it’s pitted.
My iron was just checked. I had a CBC while I was in the ER for the infection and it was good. would albumin be part of that panel?
She put on steri strips, but it’s still exposed. I feel like I’m on borrowed time before it gets infected again.
What? I'm so sorry your OB is not taking care of this. I would probably be asking for a plastics consult tbh.
Probably stupid question, but how much protein are you getting? Has your albumin level been checked recently, what about iron? Zinc?
Ugh. It really sucks. My OB (who until this had been great) just doesn’t care. He said to me last week “well it looks better than it did 8 weeks ago!” Like no shit. I had a ranging infection then. It became infected at 4 week PP, so I’m 10 weeks post infection. It opened up right at the infection spot and it’s definitely pitted/hollow right there. The good news is it’s pretty shallow at this point. My PCP seems to think it’s more of a mechanical or rubbing issue because it’s pitted.
My iron was just checked. I had a CBC while I was in the ER for the infection and it was good. would albumin be part of that panel?
She put on steri strips, but it’s still exposed. I feel like I’m on borrowed time before it gets infected again.
My incision popped back open with my first (though not that far after the cs!!). The doctor had me cover it was gauze and/or the soft side of a pad. It had it more covered and gave cushioning from things rubbing on it.
Ugh. It really sucks. My OB (who until this had been great) just doesn’t care. He said to me last week “well it looks better than it did 8 weeks ago!” Like no shit. I had a ranging infection then. It became infected at 4 week PP, so I’m 10 weeks post infection. It opened up right at the infection spot and it’s definitely pitted/hollow right there. The good news is it’s pretty shallow at this point. My PCP seems to think it’s more of a mechanical or rubbing issue because it’s pitted.
My iron was just checked. I had a CBC while I was in the ER for the infection and it was good. would albumin be part of that panel?
She put on steri strips, but it’s still exposed. I feel like I’m on borrowed time before it gets infected again.
My incision popped back open with my first (though not that far after the cs!!). The doctor had me cover it was gauze and/or the soft side of a pad. It had it more covered and gave cushioning from things rubbing on it.
Do you remember how long it took to heal after it popped back open? I know my infection put was deep, and it has to heal from the bottom up, but I feel like it’s taking way too long
My incision popped back open with my first (though not that far after the cs!!). The doctor had me cover it was gauze and/or the soft side of a pad. It had it more covered and gave cushioning from things rubbing on it.
Do you remember how long it took to heal after it popped back open? I know my infection put was deep, and it has to heal from the bottom up, but I feel like it’s taking way too long
Agh I don’t. I never ended up with an infection in mine, but I don’t think it was more than a couple of weeks. I went in for the incision around 5 weeks PP and it was healing (though not totally sealed up) at my 6 week check.
What? I'm so sorry your OB is not taking care of this. I would probably be asking for a plastics consult tbh.
Probably stupid question, but how much protein are you getting? Has your albumin level been checked recently, what about iron? Zinc?
Ugh. It really sucks. My OB (who until this had been great) just doesn’t care. He said to me last week “well it looks better than it did 8 weeks ago!” Like no shit. I had a ranging infection then. It became infected at 4 week PP, so I’m 10 weeks post infection. It opened up right at the infection spot and it’s definitely pitted/hollow right there. The good news is it’s pretty shallow at this point. My PCP seems to think it’s more of a mechanical or rubbing issue because it’s pitted.
My iron was just checked. I had a CBC while I was in the ER for the infection and it was good. would albumin be part of that panel?
She put on steri strips, but it’s still exposed. I feel like I’m on borrowed time before it gets infected again.
Albumin is not part of the CBC panel, it's part of a complete metabolic panel. It basically says whether or not you're getting enough protein. Iron is actually not checked in a CBC, your hemoglobin level is. If hemoglobin is low, then low iron is suspected but that is actually a whole panel by itself. And zinc level is a whole nother test. Protein and zinc, and to a smaller degree iron, are needed for wound healing.
It does make sense that if you had a raging infection then healing would be delayed, but dang. 3 months is a long ass time.
Ugh. It really sucks. My OB (who until this had been great) just doesn’t care. He said to me last week “well it looks better than it did 8 weeks ago!” Like no shit. I had a ranging infection then. It became infected at 4 week PP, so I’m 10 weeks post infection. It opened up right at the infection spot and it’s definitely pitted/hollow right there. The good news is it’s pretty shallow at this point. My PCP seems to think it’s more of a mechanical or rubbing issue because it’s pitted.
My iron was just checked. I had a CBC while I was in the ER for the infection and it was good. would albumin be part of that panel?
She put on steri strips, but it’s still exposed. I feel like I’m on borrowed time before it gets infected again.
Albumin is not part of the CBC panel, it's part of a complete metabolic panel. It basically says whether or not you're getting enough protein. Iron is actually not checked in a CBC, your hemoglobin level is. If hemoglobin is low, then low iron is suspected but that is actually a whole panel by itself. And zinc level is a whole nother test. Protein and zinc, and to a smaller degree iron, are needed for wound healing.
It does make sense that if you had a raging infection then healing would be delayed, but dang. 3 months is a long ass time.
Thanks! I’m pretty sure I’m eating enough protein, but I’ll ask her when the steri strips fall off about the zinc. If this doesn’t work, would you ask for plastics or wound care?
Albumin is not part of the CBC panel, it's part of a complete metabolic panel. It basically says whether or not you're getting enough protein. Iron is actually not checked in a CBC, your hemoglobin level is. If hemoglobin is low, then low iron is suspected but that is actually a whole panel by itself. And zinc level is a whole nother test. Protein and zinc, and to a smaller degree iron, are needed for wound healing.
It does make sense that if you had a raging infection then healing would be delayed, but dang. 3 months is a long ass time.
Thanks! I’m pretty sure I’m eating enough protein, but I’ll ask her when the steri strips fall off about the zinc. If this doesn’t work, would you ask for plastics or wound care?
Post by farfalla2011 on Nov 7, 2019 3:49:41 GMT -5
Where'd my sleeping baby go?? He's usually down at 8ish and out until around 1 and back down until 4 or 5, but he didn't go to sleep until 10 and was up at 12 and its almost 3 and I still haven't been able to put him back down. He'll be asleep on my chest, but is super squirmy so not sleeping well so I'm not sleeping either. Ugh. And he was basically up at 4 for the day yesterday ☹ I just want to go to sleep!
Sorry farfalla2011, I hope you get some sleep soon. The lack of sleep is so tough.
Any tips on how you cut out the night feed? She refuses to go back to sleep unless she is fed, crying until she eats, which wakes up H. When she eats, she goes back down within 5 minutes of being done her bottle. She has slept 9-10hours at night, so I know she can, but this week is 1-2x a night, so I will take any tips you have.
Where'd my sleeping baby go?? He's usually down at 8ish and out until around 1 and back down until 4 or 5, but he didn't go to sleep until 10 and was up at 12 and its almost 3 and I still haven't been able to put him back down. He'll be asleep on my chest, but is super squirmy so not sleeping well so I'm not sleeping either. Ugh. And he was basically up at 4 for the day yesterday ☹ I just want to go to sleep!
Sorry! I’m in a similar boat tonight. I swear he knows when my head hits the pillow - he wakes up at exactly that moment!
Post by Patsy Baloney on Nov 7, 2019 7:44:51 GMT -5
latte sounds like a growth spurt if she’s suddenly a hungry hungry hippo overnight. One thing that does help us discern if DS is really hungry or just a butthead awake at 4am is for me to go in and try to calm him. H 99.9% of the time fed DS overnight once we got down to one wake up. So now if he goes in to comfort DS when he wakes up at night, DS is like AW YEAH. BOTTLE TIME! Whereas if I go in, DS is like, “This lady never has a bottle. Boo. Zzzz,” unless he’s super hungry, which then he’ll just cry and scream without settling.
Try having your H be the first one in to comfort. If your DD keeps screaming after a solid effort to get her to quiet down and go back to sleep (10 minutes is usually what we give it) step in and give her a bottle.
My incision popped back open with my first (though not that far after the cs!!). The doctor had me cover it was gauze and/or the soft side of a pad. It had it more covered and gave cushioning from things rubbing on it.
Do you remember how long it took to heal after it popped back open? I know my infection put was deep, and it has to heal from the bottom up, but I feel like it’s taking way too long
With my first, my entire scar had to be reopened for a hematoma and infection. Iirc, my OB opened about 1/4 roughly 1 week pp, and I ended up in the ED (and then l&d) 2 or 3 days later and a gyn surgeon reopened the rest (sob) and irrigated.
I wasn’t cleared to go back to work until almost 14w pp because it was still open until that point. Do they have you packing it with gauze or anything? Mine also had to heal l from the inside out, and it was a loooooooong (and v v painful) process.
I’m sorry your OB isn’t being more proactive. That’s ridiculous.
Do you remember how long it took to heal after it popped back open? I know my infection put was deep, and it has to heal from the bottom up, but I feel like it’s taking way too long
With my first, my entire scar had to be reopened for a hematoma and infection. Iirc, my OB opened about 1/4 roughly 1 week pp, and I ended up in the ED (and then l&d) 2 or 3 days later and a gyn surgeon reopened the rest (sob) and irrigated.
I wasn’t cleared to go back to work until almost 14w pp because it was still open until that point. Do they have you packing it with gauze or anything? Mine also had to heal l from the inside out, and it was a loooooooong (and v v painful) process.
I’m sorry your OB isn’t being more proactive. That’s ridiculous.
Oh that sounds awful. I’m so sorry.
At this point it’s too shallow to pack, but it probably should have been before. He told me I didn’t even need to cover it! I have been, but it’s such a weird place with my fold that nothing stays well. It is healing slowly, but I’m so worried about re-infection.
With my first, my entire scar had to be reopened for a hematoma and infection. Iirc, my OB opened about 1/4 roughly 1 week pp, and I ended up in the ED (and then l&d) 2 or 3 days later and a gyn surgeon reopened the rest (sob) and irrigated.
I wasn’t cleared to go back to work until almost 14w pp because it was still open until that point. Do they have you packing it with gauze or anything? Mine also had to heal l from the inside out, and it was a loooooooong (and v v painful) process.
I’m sorry your OB isn’t being more proactive. That’s ridiculous.
Oh that sounds awful. I’m so sorry.
At this point it’s too shallow to pack, but it probably should have been before. He told me I didn’t even need to cover it! I have been, but it’s such a weird place with my fold that nothing stays well. It is healing slowly, but I’m so worried about re-infection.
I’ll have to ask my mom (it’s a blur in my memory) but I do think at the end when it was too shallow to pack I might’ve had to just leave it open/uncovered?
I just realized this morning that maybe I should be sending solids in to daycare for her to eat during the day. I have no idea what I'm doing with this feeding thing, but maybe she's not getting enough (at 7. 5 months). She also isn't a huge fan of most things we've tried, except applesauce. I don't really want to just keep giving her a ton of that since it's a lot of sugar.
Daycare just told me they're doing a Thanksgiving lunch next week that parents are invited to. DD can't really eat much (?) so I don't know if it's worth going. But then I think about her being the only one there without a parent and that makes me so sad everyone in her class had a parent there for trunk or treat so it seems like there's a lot of parental involvement (that was at the end of the day vs middle though, not sure if that will make a difference).
He's SO desperate to be mobile but it's making him super annoying and squirmy. And, really, he should sit first but he refuses and just arches his back so he won't bend. C was so much more chill (and still is!).
AND he was up for an hour and 50 minutes in the middle of the night. Practicing raspberries, spinning circles in his crib, etc. Not crying, but also not allowing me to sleep either. At least C is at his sleepover at Grandma's house so I could sleep in.