Open Letters- Monday Edition

[mommyatty]

Because I’m about to lose my shit and I’m only an hour into my day.

Dear Person in Real Estate:

When I tell you that the meeting won’t be effective without a lawyer who practices this extremely specialized area of law so don’t schedule it until you can get one of the lawyers from that group, what I mean is: the meeting is going to be a waste of my time.

So guess what. The meeting we just had was a WASTE OF MY TIME. Get the right fucking players there. We don’t need a meeting so I can tell you who to invite to the meeting. I already told you by email, you momo.

Pissed Off Lawyer

Dear Lawyers in our Company:

I’m a lawyer too. You cannot bullshit me. I know exactly how busy you are and it’s a fraction of how busy I am. So quit asking me to pinch hit in meetings because you guys can’t handle your time appropriately. I’m in a technical role now. I’m not supposed to be putting on my technical hat and then putting on my lawyer hat then putting on my technical hat again. You are supposed to be there with your freaking lawyer hat on the entire time.

Signed:
Wondering Why We Have an In-House Legal Team

[katespade]

Dear 5:00 Monday Morning Call,

I hate you.

Signed,
I Need More Coffee To Survive This Day



Dear Husband,

I'm going to need you to wake up soon so that you can go get me a coffee, because I didn't sleep at all last night and the caffeine in our house just isn't cutting it this morning.

Signed,
Did I Mention That I Need More Coffee?

[waverly]

Dear boss,
You are such an awkward conversationalist. Believe me, you don't have to say every random thought that you have in your head. Mmkay?

Sincerely,

Trying to make things less awkward here for 10 years


Dear husband,

You are super awesome. But stop getting your panties in a twist if I ask you to take or pick up the kids. Yes you work more hours than me. Yes you make more money than me. But acting surprised that your magical fairy elf doesn't want to do all the drop offs and pick ups from now until eternity is naïve, obviously. And quit acting surprised and slightly mad and put upon when I dare to ask that you do it when you are working from home.

Signed, Magic fairy elf of all drop offs and pick ups. Also signed, ready for school to start back up with the school bus. Also, surprised I would say the last sentence.

[186momx]

Mook WPs
Question: Is it reasonable to have the same or similar bedtime for summer as the school year when your morning schedule doesn't change? DD (8) is pushing to stay up later as it is summer. I've pushed bedtime about a 1/2 hour later but she is being a pill about getting up and out the door in the morning. I don't think it is helping that she can hear the neighborhood kids screaming and playing until really late. They were still out last night at 11pm.


Dear DH
You grumble when I go to bed earlier than 9. You tell me that I need to be up and busy all evening not chilling painting or watching TV. But then it is okay for you to go to bed at 8pm most of the holiday weekend because you were tired but then you are up at 5am and expect the rest of us to be up too. I just don't get it.
Tired wife who can't sleep due to crazy fireworks and freaked out dog

[waverly]

186momx, Some kids need more sleep than others, so unfortunately it sounds like she might be one of them.

We pushed bedtime back but it was because the kids were not sleeping. They were bouncing around in their rooms, so DD's bedtime is at 8pm now. She is 6.5. And DS's is at 8:30, and he is 8.5. I spaced them out so I can put her to bed and then get him. Cuts down on the fighting in the shared bathroom. He would be fine if it were 9 probably, but I like my me time. We still get up at the same time.
DD has always been a pill. It got slightly better with her alarm clock, snuggles and me not giving into her requests to dress her etc. But if it didn't get better I would have no problem making the bedtime earlier since she needs a lot of sleep.


They both get up at 7 am, so this gives her about 10- 10.5 hours of sleep depending on when she falls asleep.

[mae0111]

Bedtime - it depends on the week. If DD1 has camp, we don’t shift it. She is THE WORST in the morning, and a bear all day if she doesn’t sleep enough.

This week, we are on vacation, but she is recovering from 2 weeks at sleepaway camp. She’s exhausted. We pushed it a little, but not much. I’m hoping she catches up a bit.

[callmekd]

DD1 has the same bedtime year round - we need to leave for camp and school by 7:15AM.

[soccermama]

Jul 8, 2019 13:53:47 GMT -5 186momx said:

Mook WPs
Question: Is it reasonable to have the same or similar bedtime for summer as the school year when your morning schedule doesn't change? DD (8) is pushing to stay up later as it is summer. I've pushed bedtime about a 1/2 hour later but she is being a pill about getting up and out the door in the morning. I don't think it is helping that she can hear the neighborhood kids screaming and playing until really late. They were still out last night at 11pm.


Dear DH
You grumble when I go to bed earlier than 9. You tell me that I need to be up and busy all evening not chilling painting or watching TV. But then it is okay for you to go to bed at 8pm most of the holiday weekend because you were tired but then you are up at 5am and expect the rest of us to be up too. I just don't get it.
Tired wife who can't sleep due to crazy fireworks and freaked out dog

I think it probably is better to keep kids basically on the same schedule (within reason) as school year, etc.  That being said, my kids have been tracked out for the last 5 weeks & they go back tomorrow (ugh) --- they have definitely been "off" somewhat so tomorrow should be interesting and I hope its not too rough.  I think it will be worse for DD who is 10 & sleeps in more than my 5 year old!! 

Oh I would have been so pissed if neighborhood kids were screaming and acting a fool at 11 pm? On a Sunday???  That's a hard no for me! 

[k3am]

Same bedtime year round here too. We've pushed it back by about 15 minutes, but that's mainly because we can't get our act together.

[mommyatty]

We pretty much keep the same bedtime but are looser about it. So it’s still 8:00ish, but we may start reading stories at 7:55 and read until 8:30 instead of cutting a chapter short to get to sleep.

[k3am]

Dear Boss,

I can't be the only one who doesn't want to fly into NYC on 9/11.

Signed,
Maybe a little superstitious

Dear self,

WHAT THE HECK?? You have a phenomenal vocabulary and are a walking dictionary. Not only did you have to google how to spell supertitious, you also spelled it so atrociously that even google couldn't help you out.

Signed,
Apparently my brain's on summer break too.

[traveltheworld]

Dear DS,

As I see pictures of you being posted on the camp's Facebook page, I'm fighting the urge to call your camp leader to tell you to put more clothes on. Seriously kid! It's raining and cold! What happened to all the clothes you packed???

Signed,
Mom who will absolutely NOT call the camp, but really really want to

[covergirl82]

Bedtime - Now that we have a babysitter coming to our house in the summer, we're a bit more lax on bedtime. However, we only let them stay up about 1/2 hour later than usual. DS still needs a lot of sleep, and he's still playing baseball, so we need to make sure he gets good rest.

[librarychica]

Jul 8, 2019 16:04:14 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

We pretty much keep the same bedtime but are looser about it. So it’s still 8:00ish, but we may start reading stories at 7:55 and read until 8:30 instead of cutting a chapter short to get to sleep.

This is us too. Bedtime doesn’t change exactly but we are less vigilant.

[186momx]

Thanks all. I keep trying to explain to her that just because it summer doesn't mean our schedule changes to allow her to sleep in until whenever so she can stay up later. Especially since she still needs a good 10-11 hours of sleep.

[mae0111]

Dear Self-Absorbed family -

I really don’t think I ask that much of you. Clean up your own stuff, deposit dirty clothes into hampers and I will return them to you clean! On vacation, we largely do whatever you all want to do, and rarely do what I want to do.

I asked for 3 things this trip.
1. A visit to the local wildlife sanctuary for a nice hike through nature. Everyone made it very clear that they were not interested, so... I guess we aren’t going. Again. Cool.

2. A quick game of tennis. Not difficult. Maybe hit the ball for 30 mins and run around a bit? You kids both took lessons and said you like it, so let’s all play! Oh, epic tantrum 2 minutes in? Thanks fo ruining that, DD2!

3. That I not have to spend the ENTIRE week cleaning up after everyone - that you might all pitch in. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO STUPID!!

4. That I not have to spend the whole vacation breaking up fights. That was just a silly pipe dream.

5. Onion rings from your favorite seafood shack. Daddy managed to order at the window correctly for everyone but me! I DONT EVEN LIKE IT THERE - I JUST WANTED MY G-D ONION RINGS!!

Now that you kids are older, it was supposed to get easier. Thanks for proving that theory wrong!

I would prefer just to stay home next year. It’s a lot less work.

Love,
Mom

[mommyatty]

Dear mae0111- I think you should vacation by yourself next year.

Understanding and Sympathetic Fellow Mom

[186momx]

Dear mae0111, I think you should go to the wildlife sanctuary all by yourself. I think you have more than earned a few hours of alone time.
Another understanding and sympathetic mom who dreads vacation

[waverly]

mae0111, go tomorrow morning to the wildlife sanctuary then stop by and get onion rings as a snack on your way back.

Hey everyone, I am headed out for a couple of hours to the wildlife sanctuary, see you back here or we can meet up there. Love, Mae

[rere]

mae0111, I am totally feeling your pain. I don't even advocate for anything I want to do because I don't want it ruined by the bitching all the way through, DH included. All I want is for everyone to have fun and some peace. Somehow I can't even manage that. By the end, I usually end up feeling pretty resentful.

[k3am]

Dear mom,

Yes, I want to help you out. I totally get that having your purse "stolen" (you know.. when you left it in the shopping cart and forgot about it for 20 minutes) AND hitting a curb so hard that you have $3k+ in damages on the same day is frustrating and a pain in the ass. I am not local, don't have access to your personal information, and I'm trying to help where I can. But I can't call Experian and handle getting a fraud alert on your credit report without you. I don't know your social. I don't know the answers to the validation questions they need to ask you - trust me, I tried to do it on my own. These are all things you should be able to answer off the top of your head. I looked up all the information you need to answer, but you can't just have me do it all.

Signed,
Feeling sorry for my sisters who have to take up all the slack on this.

PS: You're retired. You have time to handle this stuff.
PPS: Call your effing doctor and tell him that you're having memory issues - you're in his office every two weeks anyways. Quit lying about how often you're falling. And probably you're going to have to admit that most of your transportation going forward should be with someone else driving.

Dear WP,

This phase of life is hard.

Signed,
Sigh

[supertrooper1]

Dear babysitter,
I'm sorry you suffered a concussion playing softball. I understand and have back up daycare ready to go. But please tell me a day in advance that you're still not feeling well. I would have taken DS to daycare this morning instead of having you suffer at my house trying to watch him.
Signed,
Worried that this won't work out after all

Dear week,
Please hurry up! I can't wait for my date on Friday!
Signed,
This week is dragging

[mustardseed2007]

Dear Texas,

OMG 99 degrees in the shade.

Signed,
I believe in global warming

[mommyatty]

Dear Employee:

You are a grown ass man in your 40s. When your boss gets pissed off enough to inform you that you WILL act professional in a meeting with people you don’t like, you say “yes, ma’am” and then shut your trap. You don’t explain how you’ve been done wrong and have every right to act like an unprofessional asshole. You shut your yap. Then, when she follows up with “we will be professional and open minded and not walk in with a chip on our shoulder” when you failed to heed the advice, you need to THEN just say “yes ma’am” and shut your trap. It shouldn’t go to a third round of “Let me be clear: whether you want to or not, you are going to participate professionally and without a chip on your shoulder”. And yet it did.

Signed,
I Would Already Have Fired You If Our VP Didn’t Love You

[186momx]

Dear Weather
WTF 70 and rainy yesterday. Now 80s and sunny today but tomorrow is 70s and 75% chance of rain.
I want my pool to heat up and it can't heat up if it is always cold.
Me
who wants to lounge in the not freezing cold pool this weekend

DD
I don't care what your friends get to do. They don't live at our house so they don't need to follow this mom's rules.
Also kids don't need to watch 2 hours of TV plus hours of tablet time each day at the age of 8.
Frustrated mom

[mae0111]

Dear DD1-

I know you must be struggling, but it does not give you the right to treat your family like sh!t. You said awful, mean things to your little sister today because she can’t add fast enough to play blackjack. You told a 6-year old that she is stupid and no one likes her because she can’t add double digits quickly in her head. This is one example. We can also talk about the epic tantrum over the bathing suit, bed time, and the hole you dug at the beach. You are almost 10. Get over yourself.

So, now we are cutting vacation short, and you and I are going home. Because you can’t be nice to anyone in your family. You have everyone fooled. You are a terrorist, and you are holding us all hostage. Not anymore. Your dad worked 330 hours last month. He needs a f!$@ing break. So he will stay at the beach with your sister, and we will go home. And you will be put to work. Because I am done.

Mommy who is sick of this crap