Salty about no promo

[dollhouse]

Vent- I was promised a promo this year with my company. I worked so hard towards it and everyone knew it would be a given. Well turns out while my manager did submit my case, it wasn’t approved by huggers iOS in some other teams. I heard thru others that he wasn’t able to defend my case strongly. He has been a manager with this company for under a year.

I am crushed, hurt and absolutely devastated. My manager says we can try again next year but I’m so mad about the loss of $$$ and the perks that come with being at senior level.

All my other coworkers who were in the same level (diff managers) as me got promoted. I deserved it too damn it and delivered way more.

Everyone in the team is in shock for me and are telling me my manager failed me. I’ve lost so much trust.

I know my team cares about my work and absolutely needs me but I’m having a hard time feeling valued as an employee. I oscillate between throwing the towel/quitting this team or putting a plan together with my manager and try agin next year.

How would you handle/address this with your boss? A part of me is so scared that a re-org will happen and I’ll be at square 1 again.

PDQ as I may delete later. Thanks!

[dollhouse]

Aug 15, 2019 22:14:59 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

Ugh, I’ve been in your shoes and it succckkkss. It seems like at some companies, having a good manager is half the battle of getting promoted.

I chose to sit tight until my stock options fully vest. That means that if it doesn’t happen for me in the next year or so, I will leave. If there’s no financial incentive for you to stay, I think it’s fair for you to start looking around. You don’t need to jump ship at the first opportunity — you can afford to be choosy — but I would definitely start the process.

I will say that even though I didn’t get an official “level” promotion, six months later I advocated for and did get a title/project change that should (hopefully) more directly lead to a promotion during the next promotion cycle. So perhaps there are other ways they can make it up to you. In other words, I think you should be exploring both options.

Thanks for your input. Yes I do have stock they should vest in the few years. I’m annoyed as I was under leveled coming in and even with this promo it won’t change my initial grant. My hope is get to the next level so I could go to another big name company at the higher level and get the bigger initial stock.

How did you handle the news with your manager? Were you bitter and show disappointment? Did you work on a plan with them? I’m sooo annoyed!!

[dollhouse]

Aug 15, 2019 22:34:00 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

Aug 15, 2019 22:24:52 GMT -5 dollhouse said:

Thanks for your input. Yes I do have stock they should vest in the few years. I’m annoyed as I was under leveled coming in and even with this promo it won’t change my initial grant. My hope is get to the next level so I could go to another big name company at the higher level and get the bigger initial stock.

How did you handle the news with your manager? Were you bitter and show disappointment? Did you work on a plan with them? I’m sooo annoyed!!

I wanted to throw a giant temper tantrum but I resisted the urge. I did say I wanted to have a career conversation and had a frank discussion about my goals. I think it’s okay to say, “I’m disappointed this didn’t happen and would like to discuss next steps,” but I would NOT recommend showing anger or bitterness. It accomplishes nothing. It’s not going to change whether you get the promotion and you may jeopardize future opportunities by antagonizing by the boss. Do you feel like your manager knew how badly you wanted this? I bring it up because oftentimes women in particular just expect people to know what they want/deserve but I realized then and there that I needed to feed my boss talking points and share my ambitions in a very candid way — and that’s what got me the compromise title change.

He knew.. he was sad while delivering me the news and knew I’d be extremely disappointed. I’m not in a position to change titles as I’ll have to re-interview for cross disciplines and change managers/orgs which will be a complete reset.

[isabel]

I’m really sorry. I’d be very upset too.

[mrsukyankee]

It happened with my H last year and he was pissed off as he was a full two grades below where he should have been. He was promoted this year but is still upset about it all. Only reason he didn't try to find a new job is Brexit and the fact that he loves his team that he built. He has pushed his manager to move him up more quickly the next time (and he'll walk if he doesn't get promoted again in the next two years unless all hell has broken loose in the UK).

[dollhouse]

Aug 16, 2019 2:33:50 GMT -5 mrsukyankee said:

It happened with my H last year and he was pissed off as he was a full two grades below where he should have been. He was promoted this year but is still upset about it all. Only reason he didn't try to find a new job is Brexit and the fact that he loves his team that he built. He has pushed his manager to move him up more quickly the next time (and he'll walk if he doesn't get promoted again in the next two years unless all hell has broken loose in the UK).

Thanks for chiming in! Did he make it known to them that he will walk if he doesn’t get the promo? I’m curious to know how a man would handle my situation this vs. me (a woman). Thanks!

[rupertpenny]

Something similar happened to me earlier this year. After 5 years I was put up for promotion to the grade I should have been hired at in the first place and the promotion was denied. My manager has advocated for me, but I was still livid.

I changed jobs and I am SO MUCH HAPPIER. I didn’t have to think about anything like stock options though, that would make things more complicated.

[thebreakfastclub]

Who promised you a promotion? Promising something like that is unusual. Since your manager is relatively new, I'd ask for a meeting to discuss what happened and next steps in your development with your manager and his manager.

You are hearing what happened second hand, which might not be a fair representation. Is the Manager's boss not part of the process for promotions?

[mrsukyankee]

Aug 16, 2019 5:14:40 GMT -5 dollhouse said:

Aug 16, 2019 2:33:50 GMT -5 mrsukyankee said:

It happened with my H last year and he was pissed off as he was a full two grades below where he should have been. He was promoted this year but is still upset about it all. Only reason he didn't try to find a new job is Brexit and the fact that he loves his team that he built. He has pushed his manager to move him up more quickly the next time (and he'll walk if he doesn't get promoted again in the next two years unless all hell has broken loose in the UK).

Thanks for chiming in! Did he make it known to them that he will walk if he doesn’t get the promo? I’m curious to know how a man would handle my situation this vs. me (a woman). Thanks!

Not up front. He did vocalise his concern that he hadn't been promoted and stated that he was behind where he ought to be at this point considering the projects he was doing. His boss promised he'd promote him this year and Roy told him that this would be a good idea (hint, hint). He has not stated anything about future promotions, but once Brexit and whatnot are figured out, he'll probably start looking just to see what's out there in case he's overlooked again.

[sotally tober]

I'm curious about who promised the promotion as well. Did your leader say "you're going to be promoted" or did they say "I'm going to fight for you to get promoted this coming open window because you have done xxx" or however your organization handles it?

Personally, I would not show my frustrations other than likely in that first meeting with my leader, but to me, my brand is extremely important. I also believe that how you handle disappointment often shows more to a leader than how you handle the excitement of a promotion, if that makes sense.

I would likely vent about it to my H and probably here. I'd possibly look at other opportunities elsewhere, but until anything bakes out from that, I would KOKO.

[toughspot]

I know this isn't what you want to hear but maybe they felt you weren't ready to be promoted?  Being told you're "promised a promo" you really need to take with a grain of salt.  

The only options really are try to work harder for next year or cut your losses and look for new employment.  My answer would depend on how long you've been the company and if you really truly enjoy it.  

[dollhouse]

Aug 16, 2019 6:30:13 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

Who promised you a promotion? Promising something like that is unusual. Since your manager is relatively new, I'd ask for a meeting to discuss what happened and next steps in your development with your manager and his manager.

You are hearing what happened second hand, which might not be a fair representation. Is the Manager's boss not part of the process for promotions?

My manager told me he put me up for promotion. My skip level was included but we haven’t talked yet.

[dollhouse]

Aug 16, 2019 8:36:57 GMT -5 toughspot said:

I know this isn't what you want to hear but maybe they felt you weren't ready to be promoted?  Being told you're "promised a promo" you really need to take with a grain of salt.  

The only options really are try to work harder for next year or cut your losses and look for new employment.  My answer would depend on how long you've been the company and if you really truly enjoy it.  

I’m leaning more towards this today. Woke up with a new perspective that I should just hunker down and get better at a few things my boss raised as gaps for the next cycle.

[dollhouse]

Aug 16, 2019 8:36:57 GMT -5 toughspot said:

I know this isn't what you want to hear but maybe they felt you weren't ready to be promoted?  Being told you're "promised a promo" you really need to take with a grain of salt.  

The only options really are try to work harder for next year or cut your losses and look for new employment.  My answer would depend on how long you've been the company and if you really truly enjoy it.  

To answer your second part, yes I love my team and my company.

[WOUNDTIGHT]

That would be a clear and obvious sign to be that it’s time to move jobs. Generally that’s the best way to see leaps in titles & compensation unless you work for a company who truly wants to encourage & develop top talent. If you’re the highest performer but the only one not promoted then it’s time to go.

[thebreakfastclub]

Aug 16, 2019 8:45:23 GMT -5 dollhouse said:

Aug 16, 2019 6:30:13 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

Who promised you a promotion? Promising something like that is unusual. Since your manager is relatively new, I'd ask for a meeting to discuss what happened and next steps in your development with your manager and his manager.

You are hearing what happened second hand, which might not be a fair representation. Is the Manager's boss not part of the process for promotions?

My manager told me he put me up for promotion. My skip level was included but we haven’t talked yet.

Did you interview? Was it a panel decision? I'd get feedback from as many people as possible.

[formerlyak]

Aug 16, 2019 8:45:23 GMT -5 dollhouse said:

Aug 16, 2019 6:30:13 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

My manager told me he put me up for promotion. My skip level was included but we haven’t talked yet.

Being put up for a promotion is different that being promised a promotion. It means that they think you may be ready and are going to tell the decision makers, but there is not guarantee. I've put in for things for many people I have managed and some happen and some don't. Sometimes it comes down to higher ups disagreeing with me about the employee; sometimes it is political and as much as I fight, I lose; and sometimes it is a financial decision on the part of management.

[thelurkylulu]

Aug 16, 2019 8:49:21 GMT -5 WOUNDTIGHT said:

That would be a clear and obvious sign to be that it’s time to move jobs. Generally that’s the best way to see leaps in titles & compensation unless you work for a company who truly wants to encourage & develop top talent. If you’re the highest performer but the only one not promoted then it’s time to go.

This was going to be my advice as well. Continue to work hard but also look outside your organization. If you get a better offer, take it back to your company and if they value you, they’ll match it or do more. If not, walk away and don’t feel badly about it.

[mags]

I'd definitely put some feelers out and start looking. If you know you deserve more than go out and find it.
You have nothing to lose by looking.
there is nothing worse than being under appreciated.

[sparkythelawyer]

I'm intrigued that EVERYONE ELSE at your level got the bump but you.

First, I'd sit down with your boss and ask specifically what the issue was, and how is it that you were perceived as "less than" than literally everyone else at your level.

I'd ask if your manager likes your work and does your manager actually see a career progression for you at your organization (which sounds government?)

I'd ask what your manager was told about why you were not promoted.

Then, a week later, I'd meet with your manager again, with a list of ways you fell you can close that gap.

I'd ask your manager at that meeting for what help you feel you need in order for this to not happen again next year.

If your manager is unwilling/unable to provide it, I'd get my resume going and look for a new opportunity.

If your manager IS willing to help you, I'd spend next year volunteering/networking like crazy. Get to know your boss' boss. Take them out for coffee. Discuss what career progression looks like at your organization, what you would like to see your group do/achieve and how you think you could help get that done. Ask boss' boss what you feel THAT person needs to see in you to be satisfied you should be promoted, etc.

If you're going to stay and try again, you need to campaign for yourself. Nobody can do that for you as well as you can.

And I'm sorry. I've been there and it sucks.

[dollhouse]

Aug 16, 2019 9:07:44 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

Aug 16, 2019 8:45:23 GMT -5 dollhouse said:

My manager told me he put me up for promotion. My skip level was included but we haven’t talked yet.

Being put up for a promotion is different that being promised a promotion. It means that they think you may be ready and are going to tell the decision makers, but there is not guarantee. I've put in for things for many people I have managed and some happen and some don't. Sometimes it comes down to higher ups disagreeing with me about the employee; sometimes it is political and as much as I fight, I lose; and sometimes it is a financial decision on the part of management.

As a manager, what do you wish your employees in this position would do? Any tips on how you think they should handle it for the best outcome and success by next promo cycle?

[dollhouse]

Aug 16, 2019 9:32:45 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

I'm intrigued that EVERYONE ELSE at your level got the bump but you.

First, I'd sit down with your boss and ask specifically what the issue was, and how is it that you were perceived as "less than" than literally everyone else at your level.

I'd ask if your manager likes your work and does your manager actually see a career progression for you at your organization (which sounds government?)

I'd ask what your manager was told about why you were not promoted.

Then, a week later, I'd meet with your manager again, with a list of ways you fell you can close that gap.

I'd ask your manager at that meeting for what help you feel you need in order for this to not happen again next year.

If your manager is unwilling/unable to provide it, I'd get my resume going and look for a new opportunity.

If your manager IS willing to help you, I'd spend next year volunteering/networking like crazy. Get to know your boss' boss. Take them out for coffee. Discuss what career progression looks like at your organization, what you would like to see your group do/achieve and how you think you could help get that done. Ask boss' boss what you feel THAT person needs to see in you to be satisfied you should be promoted, etc.

If you're going to stay and try again, you need to campaign for yourself. Nobody can do that for you as well as you can.

And I'm sorry. I've been there and it sucks.

My manager has been super supportive. I bumped into my skip skip (director) yesterday and mentioned all the amazing things he saw in my past work and just with a few tweaks it will get there. I didn’t specifically bring up the promo but he mentioned this and I wasn’t in a time/place to dig in more. Maybe I should set up a 1:1 and discuss things further with him?

[sparkythelawyer]

Aug 16, 2019 10:41:17 GMT -5 dollhouse said:

Aug 16, 2019 9:32:45 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

I'm intrigued that EVERYONE ELSE at your level got the bump but you.

First, I'd sit down with your boss and ask specifically what the issue was, and how is it that you were perceived as "less than" than literally everyone else at your level.

I'd ask if your manager likes your work and does your manager actually see a career progression for you at your organization (which sounds government?)

I'd ask what your manager was told about why you were not promoted.

Then, a week later, I'd meet with your manager again, with a list of ways you fell you can close that gap.

I'd ask your manager at that meeting for what help you feel you need in order for this to not happen again next year.

If your manager is unwilling/unable to provide it, I'd get my resume going and look for a new opportunity.

If your manager IS willing to help you, I'd spend next year volunteering/networking like crazy. Get to know your boss' boss. Take them out for coffee. Discuss what career progression looks like at your organization, what you would like to see your group do/achieve and how you think you could help get that done. Ask boss' boss what you feel THAT person needs to see in you to be satisfied you should be promoted, etc.

If you're going to stay and try again, you need to campaign for yourself. Nobody can do that for you as well as you can.

And I'm sorry. I've been there and it sucks.

My manager has been super supportive. I bumped into my skip skip (director) yesterday and mentioned all the amazing things he saw in my past work and just with a few tweaks it will get there. I didn’t specifically bring up the promo but he mentioned this and I wasn’t in a time/place to dig in more. Maybe I should set up a 1:1 and discuss things further with him?

I might be tempted to do so, but wait until the dust clears a bit and you've had a chance to put some of the initial rawness in the past, like after Labor Day.