Potty refusal

[murphybrown]

My 2.5 year old is almost fully pee trained at daycare. She has him on a potty schedule and he does really well. We decided that we want to get him fully trained before the new baby arrives in January. We started the oh crap method last weekend and it went really well. Just a touch of resistance on day 2.

Well in the past two days he has been holding it whenever he is home and refuses to go. He went last night after much convincing and then woke up dry. Was miserable all morning and wouldn’t sit. Finally went some during his nap at noon.

We keep pushing fluids. I am stuck and can’t figure out how to get past this phase. No bribe works. Denying a toy or activity until he pees doesn’t work. What do I do? Im in a power struggle over pee.

My sister thinks we should put him in time out if he refuses. Not sure if I want to throw punishment into the mix. Advice?

[nicolewi]

Um, I would just give up for now and give it a month or so. You still have a lot of time, and making it a battle now isn't doing anyone any good at all. I would read potty books for the next month or so here and there, watch Daniel Tiger on the potty and any other kid show clips, and start over again in a month or so. I would then announce a rewards system, like sticker chart or similar with larger prize after five stickers...and more prizes after more stickers. Like five stickers=ice cream sundae night, 10 stickers=small toy, 15 stickers=new underpants, whatever.

[nicolewi]

PS Also, I would not talk about potty training in relation to the baby. Most kids want to be the "baby" when the baby arrives, so he may not want to do "big kid" things when competing for attention. Just make it about him and the potty and don't mention that he needs to be a big boy and use the potty so that you can take care of the baby. Not that you are doing that, I could just see that coming out as a logical extension of your thought process, and I could see him rebelling.

[VillainV]

Do you allow screen time? We allowed C to watch a few minutes on the iPad as long as he was sitting on the potty. Usually the distraction and relaxation helped him to go. Also worked pretty well for poop. Then we’d give him one M&M for pee and two for poop as a reward (not bribe), as well as heaps of verbal praise.

[Patsy Baloney]

Aug 17, 2019 15:05:39 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Do you allow screen time? We allowed C to watch a few minutes on the iPad as long as he was sitting on the potty. Usually the distraction and relaxation helped him to go. Also worked pretty well for poop. Then we’d give him one M&M for pee and two for poop as a reward (not bribe), as well as heaps of verbal praise.

We did this same thing. iPad, phones, a toy basket, a stack of potty books, all topped with an m&m reward.

I would probably do exactly what daycare is doing, and do my dead-level best to not get pulled into the power struggle. Potty training was the hardest parent thing for me, so I get the suckiness if it all. . I don’t have the patience for it. Removing myself from much of it - all I did was say it was potty time, sit my kid down, and walk away - kept my cool and didn’t contribute to bad kid behavior. She’d scream, cry, whatever, I was a room away watching the clock and either waiting for 20 minutes to pass or a little voice to say, “All done!”

[jr009j]

We switched the reward a little bit- every time she produced, she got to play with a highly desired, special toy for 5 minutes. Then it was put away until the next time she produced.

DD2 started sitting on the potty willing after that. We did have to teach her how to release the pee (which was a different battle).