Preschool peer pressure friendship question

[campermom]

If you want honesty I think you need to stop worrying about your 3.5 year olds’ friendships. I’m not trying to be harsh, I tried to soften that up but couldn’t really find the words. I know a couple of the names of my just turned 4 year olds classmates but that is about it.

At this age they are playing with and next to whoever is in close proximity at that center, they are arguing over a toy but hugging that same person a half hour later. Also, a 3.5 year old is an unreliable reporter. Some tend to dwell on details about the conflicts they’ve had but teachers will see a whole day of positivity and maybe one or two (or 5 or 6) toy sharing debacles...but all you hear as mom hear about is HOW FINN PUSHED ME ON THE SLiDE!!

You say that you’re really happy she has a close friend. Try shifting your thinking and expectations to being really happy that she is respecting other kids’ boundaries, using kind language, and following rules like keeping her hands to herself or sharing toys with others.

Don’t use language like “best friend” with her. instead encourage her to play with everyone and be nice to all of their friends (ie classmates) which it sounds like is your priority.

How do I deal with “Peer pressure” at 3.5? I don’t worry about it.

I mean...no kid is going to eat broccoli for long in the presence of other kids. They want kid foods. But she will eat broccoli at home!

Hope this helps and you don’t take this as harsh bc it’s not intended to be.

I also have STRONG opinions about parents of 1st and 2nd graders who call the school to complain and demand a class change when their child isn’t placed with their “best friends!” But that’s another post!

[dcn]

As far as the broccoli example I would just say “people like different foods. Some like broccoli and some don’t. What foods do you like?”

The rest of it wouldn’t even register on my scale of worry at age 3.

[aspentosh]

I'd probably tell her that just because someone does or doesn't like someone or something doesn't mean she can't. And just continue to reiterate that. As long as she's not being mean (this is also my hill to die on) it's probably not a huge deal. Annoying to look at as a parent of course

[boiler717]

Instead of asking her who she played with, ask her who was she kind to today and who showed kindness to her. I wouldn’t focus on trying to “correct” her about stuff because it just makes it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

[erbear]

I missed something here...

[scm1011]

Oct 17, 2019 9:53:07 GMT -5 erbear said:

I missed something here...

The OP DD and I have no idea why. It was all pretty innocuous. 

[redheadk]

I'd actually take a 2-pronged approach. Yes, focus on kindness and including others but also work on helping your DD learn how to stand up for herself to her friends. It's often hardest to stand up to those we actually like! Work on what she can say with her (build a script) and practice.

I don't think this is something to not worry about it. It shouldn't keep you up at night but it's great time to work on these skills while things are low stakes so take advantage of it!

(I read the OP before she DD)