Consquences for swearing at school?

[redheadbaker]

DS (in 2nd grade, turns 8 in less than a month) came home with a behavior notification from school today. He yelled the F-word at his classmates during recess. 

We *just* had a meeting with his teacher last week to discuss his inappropriate language at school, but she only mentioned his constant use of potty talk and how it was making his classmates uncomfortable. He's new at the school this year, and I want to nip this in the bud before he gets a reputation for being in appropriate. 

We just got home, so we haven't talked about what happened yet (whether he was yelling at *at* someone, or just yelling it to get a rise out of someone). He will get no computer or TV time tonight. 

Making things more difficult is that H swears almost constantly, and not "mild" ones like damn. He often doesn't realize he's doing it. If I point it out, he gets defensive. 

[pugz]

I think taking away screen time is good. I would talk to your H though and see if he is willing to tone it down

[MixedBerryJam]

lol sorry. My kid’s first word was fuckhead so I’ll see myself out.

[pugz]

I think if you can make him understand that these are only grownup words then cursing around him isn't as big of a deal, but if he's not respecting that rule, then I think your husband needs to stop.

[expectantsteelerfan]

At that age I talked to my kids about learning to use appropriate language at appropriate times. I get that they think using swear words is exciting and 'cool,' but if they use them at school, they get in trouble. And then we brainstorm times they might not get in trouble, and times they would get in trouble, for using that language. And then we talk about the difference between swearing by accident, especially if they hurt themselves or something, and swearing AT someone.

If my ds swore at school, I'd have him fill out a behavior think sheet (this is my go-to consequence for anything, google and you'll come up with tons), and if it was just him yelling to get attention or something, I'd do no screen time. If he swore at someone, I'd have him write that person an apology too.

[lindyanne]

My DS is 10. We swear but we made it clear that those are adult words and he isn’t to say them from 6 or so on. He still says ‘frickin’ sometimes which we remind him is the same but I don’t sweat it since I don’t think he would actually get in trouble for that.

[beerlover]

My kid said "F-ing dammit" at daycare last week, so I'm lost here too.

[joenali]

Does there need to be a consequence? I mean if your DH is swearing at home your kids is going to say it at school. Your DH should have the consequence! Lol!

Kids swear at school. It just happens. They hear it, they repeat it. I would definitely contact hoMe , but i would not expect a consequence, just a conversation. If it becomes problematic, then a consequence might be necessary.
ETA: just reread your post. I see it is problematic. Seriously, tell your DH to stop swearing around the kid! Maybe he should speak with him. I think writing an apology letter might be appropriate in this case.

[morecoffeeplease]

Oct 30, 2019 20:37:43 GMT -5 joenali said:

Does there need to be a consequence? I mean if your DH is swearing at home your kids is going to say it at school. Your DH should have the consequence! Lol!

Kids swear at school. It just happens. They hear it, they repeat it. I would definitely contact hoMe , but i would not expect a consequence, just a conversation. If it becomes problematic, then a consequence might be necessary.
ETA: just reread your post. I see it is problematic. Seriously, tell your DH to stop swearing around the kid! Maybe he should speak with him. I think writing an apology letter might be appropriate in this case.

I don't really agree with this. We swear. It's not every other word or anything but we definitely swear in front of our kids. But we have talked about those words being adult words and they haven't said them.

I think the husband should tone it down. We'd tone it down if it became a problem but I don't think that parents swearing means a kid is going to swear at school. 

[puppylove64]

I’m sorry. I agree that talking to them about appropriate times might be a better solution. I had that talk with my kids last week because one of their favorite songs keeps saying f u.

[nellgirl]

Oct 30, 2019 20:06:03 GMT -5 beerlover said:

My kid said "F-ing dammit" at daycare last week, so I'm lost here too.

Can I join you in the corner? Over the last couple of weeks, my 3-year-old has busted out both ‘for f-ck’s sake’ and ‘you’re f-cking kidding me’ at school. Thanks, DH!!! ...not that she hasn’t heard other stuff from me, but those are firmly his contribution.

[CrazyLucky]

DS has been in trouble for the F word. We do not use that word at home ever, and not much outside of home. So yes, he's hearing it from dad, but he'd be hearing it regardless. For me, there's a consequence. Not necessarily a saying the f word consequence, but a not following the rule consequence. In our house, not following the rules at school is generally some amount of no screen time. Since this is a repeat offense, it would probably be three days.
Also, I think kids this age have some trouble with nuance. I'm not sure saying it's an adult word will get the point across. I do think your DH needs to tone it down.

[beerlover]

nellgirl, join me! Although my 3 year old swearing is solely my fault, not my H's :/

[nellgirl]

Oct 31, 2019 10:47:37 GMT -5 beerlover said:

nellgirl, join me! Although my 3 year old swearing is solely my fault, not my H's :/

Based of your screen name, you may appreciate this one as well. They play in the woods daily and the kids love setting up ‘ice cream shops’ for their friends and even other park users (the pretend that pinecones and sticks, etc are ice cream cones). Not my daughter- she set up a beer stand. The teachers were killing themselves laughing telling us. I was mortified.

[beerlover]

nellgirl, this is amazing! I would be proud of her for having an original idea, lol

[imojoebunny]

I have the worst potty mouth ever. I would drive home the seriousness using this language, as a child, and go hard on the punishment. To me, it is no different from kids not being able to work or drive. Nope, those are mommy words, not kid words, and if you use them, game over.

[lindyanne]

Oct 31, 2019 11:19:48 GMT -5 nellgirl said:

Oct 31, 2019 10:47:37 GMT -5 beerlover said:

nellgirl, join me! Although my 3 year old swearing is solely my fault, not my H's :/

Based of your screen name, you may appreciate this one as well. They play in the woods daily and the kids love setting up ‘ice cream shops’ for their friends and even other park users (the pretend that pinecones and sticks, etc are ice cream cones). Not my daughter- she set up a beer stand. The teachers were killing themselves laughing telling us. I was mortified.

Omg I can’t imagine. DH and I love beer. Two of his teachers have as well (one has a brother who owns a local brewery and his teacher this year I ran into at a local beer festival and he’s always at the local pizza place/brewery) but I can only imagine he has diarrhea of the mouth if it ever comes up.