Oh, I have one! MIL texted me the other day to tell me to let her know when we will get family pictures taken again because she wants a family picture with her and BIL. So, you want to crash our annual family photos that we pay for, and I plan for, so that *you* can have a picture with your kids? For real? Who does that?
This sounds like something I would conveniently forget next year. Otherwise I'd be super annoyed the whole time!
I hate when the kids' teachers refer to their class as "friends." Their teachers are great, but this is like nails on a chalkboard.
I told my kids that we can be friends when they are 25. In the meantime, it's my job to discipline them when needed, so they're not always going to like me much.
I’ve always interpreted that the teacher is saying they are all “friends” to each other — not that the children are the teacher’s “friends.”
At our pre-school it’s also a way of not gendering they kids. Rather than “ok, boys and girls...” it’s, “ok, friends, please line up.” It also encourages the kids to use that language, so DS1 will come home and say, “I played with a new friend at school today.” I actually like it. I think it encourages them to think about their peers in friendly terms and helps reduce the divide between sexes.
Oh, I have one! MIL texted me the other day to tell me to let her know when we will get family pictures taken again because she wants a family picture with her and BIL. So, you want to crash our annual family photos that we pay for, and I plan for, so that *you* can have a picture with your kids? For real? Who does that?
This sounds like something I would conveniently forget next year. Otherwise I'd be super annoyed the whole time!
Yeah... I don’t plan on mentioning it. I’m so annoyed by the entire thing. The other big piece of it is that she (and BIL) will totally change the dynamic of interactions. We specifically work with this photographer to get good candid shots and that will be really difficult with her there. And, also, see the fact that I am the one paying for this. It would be one thing, maybe, if she had asked, but she didn’t! It was a command.
OMG - YES! Do people not realize how creepy this sounds? Wouldn't you worry about a 40 year old person having a 5 year old "best friend." And as a parent, I would be VERY concerned if my 10 year old told me that their best friend was 45 years old! Why? So weird!
I hate when the kids' teachers refer to their class as "friends." Their teachers are great, but this is like nails on a chalkboard.
I told my kids that we can be friends when they are 25. In the meantime, it's my job to discipline them when needed, so they're not always going to like me much.
Trust me, I do not consider my students my friends, no teacher does, but I am sure you know that. Friends is an easy way to address a classroom of students. They are all each others 'friends'. What word would you use? Kids? Children? Students?
When we go some place like the zoo and people are taking 8 zillion pictures of the animals. Not their kids in front of the animals but just the animals. The giraffe is doing something funny? Fine, snap a picture but what do you really plan to do with that five minute video of the zebra just standing around? This is not limited to the zoo, I am also bothered by people taking pictures of every single whatever we are there to view. Just enjoy it while you are there!
In a similar vein - people taking pictures at a wedding. Put down your damn phone. There is a photographer 5 feet from you that is being paid thousands of dollars to capture a picture of this. O one wants your shitty pictures!
We have a sitting area in our office with a sofa and chair, and my BEC coworker always throws her coat over the chair. I never sit there anyway but the audacity of it irritates me.
I hate when the kids' teachers refer to their class as "friends." Their teachers are great, but this is like nails on a chalkboard.
I told my kids that we can be friends when they are 25. In the meantime, it's my job to discipline them when needed, so they're not always going to like me much.
Trust me, I do not consider my students my friends, no teacher does, but I am sure you know that. Friends is an easy way to address a classroom of students. They are all each others 'friends'. What word would you use? Kids? Children? Students?
There was a series of posts on HONY a while ago about a school where they called all the kids "scholars". (I have no problem with "friends" but I thought that was also cool).
Oh, I have one! MIL texted me the other day to tell me to let her know when we will get family pictures taken again because she wants a family picture with her and BIL. So, you want to crash our annual family photos that we pay for, and I plan for, so that *you* can have a picture with your kids? For real? Who does that?
Oh, I have one! MIL texted me the other day to tell me to let her know when we will get family pictures taken again because she wants a family picture with her and BIL. So, you want to crash our annual family photos that we pay for, and I plan for, so that *you* can have a picture with your kids? For real? Who does that?
Omg these people have no home training.
You know, while I'm at it, I'm just going to complain about her some more.
For Halloween, we went over to a friends' house for dinner and trick or treating. She asked when she could come by and see the kids in their costumes and I said, "oh, well, we're going over to a friend's house, so..." She was like, "what's their address? I'll just come by there." WHAT? No. Who does that? Thankfully, DH shut it down and told her she could come over to our house afterward and by that point it was late enough that she didn't feel like driving over.
On Thanksgiving, *she* initiated a conversation about politics, knowing full well how strongly I feel. She made a comment about how she doesn't like Kamala Harris (who is *strongly* my first choice) because she comes across as arrogant or some shit. I then, as politely as possible, talked to her about the oppression of black women and how much more assertive they have to be in positions of power to make changes and be noticed for their work. She basically shut down and was like, "I don't understand why people can't just have a civil conversation about politics without attacking one another," and then gave an example about her niece (who lives in Portland and is at least as liberal as I am) who was apparently so rude in assuming how MIL feels about trans people and gave her quite an explanation about the right way to think. I again, gently, tried to explain that politics is a highly charged topic and that for a lot of people, it's hard to temper and control their emotions, so if you're going to bring it up, you have to be willing to take a little heat if you disagree. She totally shut down on the whole thing AND THEN the next day, texted both of us and thanked DH for his perspective and being level-headed. For fuck's sake, lady! You're the one who started it!
An example closer to yours though is that in our last house, the elevation was colonial, so, five windows across the front - two in the master, one in a guest room, two in a larger bedroom, same on the bottom floor in the living room and dining room. But NONE of them were equidistant from each other or the walls. WHY? It made me batty for years.
OMG, my dad lives on a shore that is all summer houses, essentially. Well, there are like 5 full-time residents, including him, but the other 25 or so homes are seasonal. The woman two houses away from him bought the property from my mom's cousin about 25ish years ago, and a few years later tore down the original cottage and build something she "designed herself." The outside is HORRIFIC. Everyone calls it the great gray whale. Like, nothing is symmetrical, there are no windows where you would expect them to be, and too many windows where you wouldn't think they would go. The inside is fine, it's just everything on the outside that doesn't match up with each other. It's like, "of course you designed it yourself." Also, she's a nutbar and a bully and hasn't talked to my dad since he was president of the HOA and wanted to force her to pay her share of plowing and community maintenance, and he's fine with that.
I would absolutely contemplate passive aggressively parking in their chosen curb space in front of my house until they broke the habit.
I’m so tempted but my wife is the driver and she refuses to be this petty. Our one Honda Fit could never take up enough space to truly deter them though, as it would still leave about 2 cars worth of space in front of our house. It is infuriating to me to see their giant empty driveway when their ugly car is parked right in front of my house. Spikes my blood pressure.
I really should have married someone pettier and more easily irked.
I'm very pro "street parking is public parking and no one owns the road," partially because of urban planning geekery and partly because I've lived in way too many apartments and houses where if I parked within a block of where I lived it was a good day. But I had a neighbor (2 houses away) who would ALWAYS take the one and only spot in front of my house, which was also the closest street spot to the neighbor in between us. All of us have driveways. This particular neighbor also owned 3 cars, one being an F350 and one being a Ford Expedition, so nothing that took up just a little room, you know? If someone else was parked in the street spot, they would park behind that car in a spot that was labeled "no parking" and happened to be right across from my driveway and made it hard to back out. They would also move their cars immediately if someone left the spot, and often take up both the real spot and the fake spot. They would never just park in their own driveway or further down the street. We have a tandem driveway, so sometimes I want to park my car on the street so we can use my H's car later on that day or the next day without having to switch, you know?
THEN they were successful in petitioning to get the fake spot turned into a handicapped spot (their daughter had cerebral palsy, so they got handicapped tags) and no one was notified of this until the sign and curb were transformed one day. Again, it was not a real spot because 1) it makes it hard to back out of my driveway and 2) it makes it hard for large trucks to make the turn onto my street, which they need to do often for deliveries further down the block. Anyway, I felt like kind of a dick for bitching about a handicapped spot, but their driveway was literally closer to to their house than this spot anyway.
They moved on November 1st and the handicapped spot has now been removed, and people rarely park there now, which is very nice.
Anyway, it was more about "let everyone have a turn with the street parking, yo" than wanting ownership over that spot, I guess.
You know, while I'm at it, I'm just going to complain about her some more.
For Halloween, we went over to a friends' house for dinner and trick or treating. She asked when she could come by and see the kids in their costumes and I said, "oh, well, we're going over to a friend's house, so..." She was like, "what's their address? I'll just come by there." WHAT? No. Who does that? Thankfully, DH shut it down and told her she could come over to our house afterward and by that point it was late enough that she didn't feel like driving over.
On Thanksgiving, *she* initiated a conversation about politics, knowing full well how strongly I feel. She made a comment about how she doesn't like Kamala Harris (who is *strongly* my first choice) because she comes across as arrogant or some shit. I then, as politely as possible, talked to her about the oppression of black women and how much more assertive they have to be in positions of power to make changes and be noticed for their work. She basically shut down and was like, "I don't understand why people can't just have a civil conversation about politics without attacking one another," and then gave an example about her niece (who lives in Portland and is at least as liberal as I am) who was apparently so rude in assuming how MIL feels about trans people and gave her quite an explanation about the right way to think. I again, gently, tried to explain that politics is a highly charged topic and that for a lot of people, it's hard to temper and control their emotions, so if you're going to bring it up, you have to be willing to take a little heat if you disagree. She totally shut down on the whole thing AND THEN the next day, texted both of us and thanked DH for his perspective and being level-headed. For fuck's sake, lady! You're the one who started it!
Why are people like this? My extended ILs are like this re: politics.
On Thanksgiving my FIL told me that women's brains aren't wired to be scientists, doctors, or engineers. I firmly yet politely refuted his points, left the table, and made up my mind that I will not be doing Thanksgiving next year.
Oh, I have one! MIL texted me the other day to tell me to let her know when we will get family pictures taken again because she wants a family picture with her and BIL. So, you want to crash our annual family photos that we pay for, and I plan for, so that *you* can have a picture with your kids? For real? Who does that?
If my mom did that I would assume she would want to know so that she could split the cost with me and so that the whole family could be involved. And I presume you have a photographer you know and like so that’s why she assumed you’d want to go with the same one.
But my mom is normal and we have a good relationship, so I understand if that’s not the case for you!
A woman I shoot archery with posts often on FB asking for gifts. It could be a random shirt, craft kit, appliances, or whatever. She'll post the link with her size and color preference. I know it doesn't effect my life, but man it irritates the hell out of me.
For instance, Disney people. I mean the hardcore Disney people who not only visit the parks on a very regular basis, but have Disney home decor, Disney clothing, multiple sets of mouse ears, Disney jewelry, Disney handbags. I shouldn't care because it doesn't affect me, but for the love of God, branch out in life.
When we were house hunting we looked at a Disney house. Honest to God, there isn't as much Mickey stuff at Disneyland as there was in that house. Every. single. room. was Disney decor, even the laundry room.
While I admire their commitment to a theme, not that theme.
Oh, I have one! MIL texted me the other day to tell me to let her know when we will get family pictures taken again because she wants a family picture with her and BIL. So, you want to crash our annual family photos that we pay for, and I plan for, so that *you* can have a picture with your kids? For real? Who does that?
If my mom did that I would assume she would want to know so that she could split the cost with me and so that the whole family could be involved. And I presume you have a photographer you know and like so that’s why she assumed you’d want to go with the same one.
But my mom is normal and we have a good relationship, so I understand if that’s not the case for you!
I actually do have a good relationship with her, but she's not my mom, so I don't feel like I can straight up asking about splitting the cost. And, honestly, I wouldn't expect it anyway. If I want her there, I'll invite her without expectation of payment. But I honestly don't. I like doing pictures with just my H and kids. There's also a little bit of back story in that one year my mom joined us for pictures because she was in town, but we didn't think to invite MIL and it caused a whole big thing.
I guess I just feel like if you want to be involved, ask, don't command, or suggest that we do a shoot with everyone and tell me that you're willing to split the cost.
Probably more than anything, I'm annoyed about feeling like I need to coordinate two more outfits. I already spend more time than I want on making sure we have outfits that coordinate, but don't match. Adding two more people to the mix will make that even more challenging.
You know, while I'm at it, I'm just going to complain about her some more.
For Halloween, we went over to a friends' house for dinner and trick or treating. She asked when she could come by and see the kids in their costumes and I said, "oh, well, we're going over to a friend's house, so..." She was like, "what's their address? I'll just come by there." WHAT? No. Who does that? Thankfully, DH shut it down and told her she could come over to our house afterward and by that point it was late enough that she didn't feel like driving over.
On Thanksgiving, *she* initiated a conversation about politics, knowing full well how strongly I feel. She made a comment about how she doesn't like Kamala Harris (who is *strongly* my first choice) because she comes across as arrogant or some shit. I then, as politely as possible, talked to her about the oppression of black women and how much more assertive they have to be in positions of power to make changes and be noticed for their work. She basically shut down and was like, "I don't understand why people can't just have a civil conversation about politics without attacking one another," and then gave an example about her niece (who lives in Portland and is at least as liberal as I am) who was apparently so rude in assuming how MIL feels about trans people and gave her quite an explanation about the right way to think. I again, gently, tried to explain that politics is a highly charged topic and that for a lot of people, it's hard to temper and control their emotions, so if you're going to bring it up, you have to be willing to take a little heat if you disagree. She totally shut down on the whole thing AND THEN the next day, texted both of us and thanked DH for his perspective and being level-headed. For fuck's sake, lady! You're the one who started it!
Why are people like this? My extended ILs are like this re: politics.
On Thanksgiving my FIL told me that women's brains aren't wired to be scientists, doctors, or engineers. I firmly yet politely refuted his points, left the table, and made up my mind that I will not be doing Thanksgiving next year.
You know, I honestly just think she's your standard boomer white lady. She called herself "socially liberal, fiscally conservative" during this conversation. She's just so blind (intentionally, obviously) to the problems in this country, but she doesn't want to take the time to do the hard work, learn, consider other perspectives, etc. I came really close to suggesting she read White Fragility, but that would clearly be too much if she couldn't handle me gently talking to her about why her interpretation of Kamala Harris is wrong.
You know, while I'm at it, I'm just going to complain about her some more.
For Halloween, we went over to a friends' house for dinner and trick or treating. She asked when she could come by and see the kids in their costumes and I said, "oh, well, we're going over to a friend's house, so..." She was like, "what's their address? I'll just come by there." WHAT? No. Who does that? Thankfully, DH shut it down and told her she could come over to our house afterward and by that point it was late enough that she didn't feel like driving over.
On Thanksgiving, *she* initiated a conversation about politics, knowing full well how strongly I feel. She made a comment about how she doesn't like Kamala Harris (who is *strongly* my first choice) because she comes across as arrogant or some shit. I then, as politely as possible, talked to her about the oppression of black women and how much more assertive they have to be in positions of power to make changes and be noticed for their work. She basically shut down and was like, "I don't understand why people can't just have a civil conversation about politics without attacking one another," and then gave an example about her niece (who lives in Portland and is at least as liberal as I am) who was apparently so rude in assuming how MIL feels about trans people and gave her quite an explanation about the right way to think. I again, gently, tried to explain that politics is a highly charged topic and that for a lot of people, it's hard to temper and control their emotions, so if you're going to bring it up, you have to be willing to take a little heat if you disagree. She totally shut down on the whole thing AND THEN the next day, texted both of us and thanked DH for his perspective and being level-headed. For fuck's sake, lady! You're the one who started it!
Thank god my in-laws are normal about politics. MIL isn't sure about Elizabeth Warren (even though she has voted for her twice now as senator), but at least she hates Trump, is cool with same-sex marriage (legal in her state for 15 years now), seems to be pro-choice, etc.
My mom and stepfather are becoming unhinged, though. I think my mom just goes along with his arguments. (And my dad used to be the worst one - Fox News watching, reading books by Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly, etc - but I know he's not a *fan* of Trump at least.) PDQ, but my brother had applied for a job at the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis, which is not anywhere close to where any of us live, but which I have visited and is AMAZING. Anyway, at the end of the process, the hiring manager said he was a really great candidate and had a whole conversation with him about how they really liked him, but in the back of the conversation was the impression that the strike against him is that he is a white dude. He was telling me this and said, "I TOTALLY get it, I will never completely understand the experience of black Americans." He told this to our stepfather who went off about how MLK was taking help from the KGB, which is treason, or some such shit. (And my brother was like, "Yeah, well, his home government was trying to actively suppress his work, but okay.") I was like, "Wow, can't wait to hear his opinions on the impeachment at Christmas." I feel like my mom might try to shut it down because when they were visiting a few months ago she said, "no politics!" preemptively like 3 times.
My husband definitely got the short end of the stick when it came to in-laws.
This sounds like something I would conveniently forget next year. Otherwise I'd be super annoyed the whole time!
Yeah... I don’t plan on mentioning it. I’m so annoyed by the entire thing. The other big piece of it is that she (and BIL) will totally change the dynamic of interactions. We specifically work with this photographer to get good candid shots and that will be really difficult with her there. And, also, see the fact that I am the one paying for this. It would be one thing, maybe, if she had asked, but she didn’t! It was a command.
I think you can tell her that it's important to you and your H to have pictures of just your family, but that if she wants to schedule a photographer and take pictures of the whole family together, you'd be glad to participate.
Yeah... I don’t plan on mentioning it. I’m so annoyed by the entire thing. The other big piece of it is that she (and BIL) will totally change the dynamic of interactions. We specifically work with this photographer to get good candid shots and that will be really difficult with her there. And, also, see the fact that I am the one paying for this. It would be one thing, maybe, if she had asked, but she didn’t! It was a command.
I think you can tell her that it's important to you and your H to have pictures of just your family, but that if she wants to schedule a photographer and take pictures of the whole family together, you'd be glad to participate.
I wouldn't even say that much if it would start a thing. Just, "Oh, I can give you the photographer's information and you guys can schedule a session whenever it's convenient for you."
msmerymac, to be fair, she doesn't like Trump and actually seems to be pretty into Pete (she's from Indiana), so that's good, I guess. But it's just so clear how narrow her worldview is, you know?
My dad actively donates to Trump and reads Breitbart, so MIL is truly the least of my worries when it comes to parents and politics. What your stepdad said is totally something he would say. He's gone full on conspiracy theorist since Trump was elected. If it wasn't horrifying and deeply troubling, it would be a fascinating case study.
When people thank their children for choosing them to be their parents. They didn’t chose you!!!
Yes! And I'll raise you with people who address people on social media when they aren't there (children, dead people, etc.).
THEY CAN'T READ YOUR POSTS!!!
Oh this irritates me too. I have a close friend who always does a big sappy post to her parents for birthdays, anniversaries, etc, but neither of them are on social media. IDK why it bugs me, but it just seems like AW behavior since it is clearly not actually intended for the people she is supposedly wishing well to.
I can’t stand it when moms say they are going on a date with their son. No. No you aren’t. You are not dating. You are being a mom who is taking the kid out and doing something special. It’s not a date.
My kids, being kids, are egocentric and they've completely confused the idea of date night.
When we have date night, my mom watches them. But they misunderstood from a young age and think of it as them having date night - so they call it "grandma date night." It's gotten to the point where if I'm busy for the evening, they call it "daddy date night." If my husband makes it home for dinner (which happens about once a week) it's "family date night" and the default - just me and them "mommy date night."
We let it go at first because we thought it sounded funny (like other strange kid sayings) and now it just sounds normal.
Date night = "regular dinner at home with the designated adult, practice piano, do homework and read a few stories."
This doesn't sound at all weird or creepy. What I've seen that's a bit out there is Daddy and daughter date nights. Dressed up, flowers for her and some dance or dinner out. It's weird.
OMG - YES! Do people not realize how creepy this sounds? Wouldn't you worry about a 40 year old person having a 5 year old "best friend." And as a parent, I would be VERY concerned if my 10 year old told me that their best friend was 45 years old! Why? So weird!
Someone on my Facebook posted something about how they are their sons first love, first kiss, first blah blah blah. I thought it was so gross and weird lol.
Were reading Harry Potter with the kids and DS has learned the term "snogging," but not the nuance. So he keeps telling me not to snog him. It's kind of weird, but it's so innocent. I think I just make an involuntary weird face when he says it.
I hate when the kids' teachers refer to their class as "friends." Their teachers are great, but this is like nails on a chalkboard.
I told my kids that we can be friends when they are 25. In the meantime, it's my job to discipline them when needed, so they're not always going to like me much.
Trust me, I do not consider my students my friends, no teacher does, but I am sure you know that. Friends is an easy way to address a classroom of students. They are all each others 'friends'. What word would you use? Kids? Children? Students?
Exactly. I was going to say, I call my students “friends”. They are not my friends. Lol
OMG - YES! Do people not realize how creepy this sounds? Wouldn't you worry about a 40 year old person having a 5 year old "best friend." And as a parent, I would be VERY concerned if my 10 year old told me that their best friend was 45 years old! Why? So weird!
I hate when the kids' teachers refer to their class as "friends." Their teachers are great, but this is like nails on a chalkboard.
I told my kids that we can be friends when they are 25. In the meantime, it's my job to discipline them when needed, so they're not always going to like me much.
LOL. This is a super Quaker school thing. It's Friends with a capital F for me Plus it's gender inclusive (ie not "guys" or "ladies and gentlemen").
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”