Homeschooling--Pros, cons, etc.

[nicolewi]

I am not seriously considering homeschooling right now at all. However, my first grade DD is dyslexic and her tutor brought it up as an option last night. I had considered it when things seemed really bad, but lately was feeling more confident with the interventions both inside and outside of school. When she brought it up this week it threw me for a loop a bit. Now I have it in the back of my head. I'd like to gather a few more thoughts/some info in case things go really south at school this semester or next year. I feel okay about school overall right now, but DD hates going and frequently complains or cries. 

I would like to hear general pros/cons, pitfalls, any regrets people have about choosing to homeschool or NOT choosing to homeschool. 

If we ever did this, I am hopeful it would just be for a few years in elementary. Maybe then I could do her tutoring DURING the regular school day, and she would be able to do more "fun" extracurriculars and explore her other interests. 

I don't REALLY see us doing this. I think she would like to have the same school experience as her siblings. But then again, I want more info in my back pocket in case this begins to seem more like a choice we should make. DH's brother is dyslexic and had terrible times at school that I think have really affected him as an adult. But then again, his experience was very different in the 1980s than DD's would be today. 

[minniemouse]

I don’t have any personal experience, just know several families that homeschool. Their reasons for doing it are all different but the pros/cons are the pretty much the same. These are not my personal pro/cons just what I’ve heard. I certainly don’t agree with all of it.
Pros - flexibility with your time. Flexibility with learning topics-although it has to be within certain guidelines, more time with your kids (this could be a con as well😂), not having to vaccinate, safety concerns
Cons- expensive to buy the curriculum, supplies, computer programs, and pay for extracurriculars such as music, fun, art that kids would otherwise get in school. Difficult to follow state guidelines. Hard to make friends/see their friends that go to regular school. Harder to get into colleges
FWIW, a family member homeschooled her kids for many years then they switched to public school. A couple of the kids were held back because they tested below grade level. By held back, I mean they started at a grade younger than their age. With a January bday, the child just turned 12 and is in 5th grade.

[hocus2]

My kid is also dyslexic and I think I've posted on your posts before.

Unless you had the district paying for a reading specialist (or you were willing to do that out of pocket) as part of your homeschooling or if you have a background in reading this seems to offer no real benefit to your daughter unless you think school is somehow actively causing her harm Additionally It makes me deeply skeptical that it was your tutor and not the school that suggested this. She's may have a conflict of interest while make such a recommendation. It sounds like what you really need is a different school and/or more support at your school now. Schools often need to be heavily pressured to proper support students but that doesn't mean they cannot do it.

Sure there off the shelf programs for parents but it takes a long time to master the craft of teaching reading to struggling readers and I think the parent-child bond can be an issue since the work is hard, much harder than teaching a neurotypical child. My son's reading instructor has 10+ years of experience with kids who have this challenge. She's spend years working on her skills, behavior management, getting materials, and understanding how to work with the other teachers in the program so my son continues to make progress in math/science/social studies. I would never be able to accomplish what she is doing with my kid which I consider quite successful.

[jene]

Jan 10, 2020 12:40:35 GMT -5 minniemouse said:

I don’t have any personal experience, just know several families that homeschool. Their reasons for doing it are all different but the pros/cons are the pretty much the same. These are not my personal pro/cons just what I’ve heard. I certainly don’t agree with all of it.
Pros - flexibility with your time. Flexibility with learning topics-although it has to be within certain guidelines, more time with your kids (this could be a con as well😂), not having to vaccinate, safety concerns
Cons- expensive to buy the curriculum, supplies, computer programs, and pay for extracurriculars such as music, fun, art that kids would otherwise get in school. Difficult to follow state guidelines. Hard to make friends/see their friends that go to regular school. Harder to get into colleges
FWIW, a family member homeschooled her kids for many years then they switched to public school. A couple of the kids were held back because they tested below grade level. By held back, I mean they started at a grade younger than their age. With a January bday, the child just turned 12 and is in 5th grade.

Complete side eye to them listing “not having to vaccinate” as a pro in this conversation, although I know that is a reason

[minniemouse]

Jan 10, 2020 13:48:58 GMT -5 jene said:

Jan 10, 2020 12:40:35 GMT -5 minniemouse said:

I don’t have any personal experience, just know several families that homeschool. Their reasons for doing it are all different but the pros/cons are the pretty much the same. These are not my personal pro/cons just what I’ve heard. I certainly don’t agree with all of it.
Pros - flexibility with your time. Flexibility with learning topics-although it has to be within certain guidelines, more time with your kids (this could be a con as well😂), not having to vaccinate, safety concerns
Cons- expensive to buy the curriculum, supplies, computer programs, and pay for extracurriculars such as music, fun, art that kids would otherwise get in school. Difficult to follow state guidelines. Hard to make friends/see their friends that go to regular school. Harder to get into colleges
FWIW, a family member homeschooled her kids for many years then they switched to public school. A couple of the kids were held back because they tested below grade level. By held back, I mean they started at a grade younger than their age. With a January bday, the child just turned 12 and is in 5th grade.

Complete side eye to you listing “not having to vaccinate” as a pro in this conversation

As I said, these are not my views and I don’t agree with them. I know a family that was mad that our state ended religious exemptions for vaccines this year and have chosen to home school for that reason alone. That is their pro, not mine. I side eyed them too.

[icedcoffee]

I have never homeschooled nor do I work in education, but I can't think of any reason why keeping a kid with special needs home would be better for the child than sending them to a professional who specializes in working with these issues. I would think the child would be better off in an environment where they can get the extra support they need.

I feel the same way about people who red shirt their kids though so.......

[monalua]

I've homeschooled my kids for the last 5.5 years. We've done it since the beginning - they are 9, 6, and 4. We really love it and have no regrets. The pros are pretty amazing - flexible schedule (more time for sleep, sports practices, being outside/hiking, playdates, field trips, travel - we went to Disneyland last year in September and it was amazing), time together, one-on-one teaching in every subject. My kids also attend homeschool enrichment classes twice a week (2 different programs) where they have tons of homeschooled friends and take classes like P.E., art, music, speech, Spanish, science labs etc. and have recess, student council, and dances for the older kids. Homeschooling is pretty popular where we live.

I think the biggest con is that it's a lot of work and time. I consider it a full-time job and don't work outside the home. Lots of planning and of course the teaching (3 kids in different grades). My kids have plenty of opportunities for social time with friends, but I have to plan that out and shuttle them around daily. 

I did not start homeschooling due to a kid's learning difference or challenge, so I can't really speak to that, but I do have friends who are in that situation. They all seem to be thriving (both kids and parents). Some use outside tutors, therapy appointments, and therapy groups in addition to what they are doing at home.  There is a reading specialist tutor in my neighborhood that I know several homeschoolers use. The reading program I use to teach my kids (All About Reading) has Orton Gillingham components and is recommended for dyslexics - even though it seems to work well for may different types of students.

I have a family member with dyslexia that still succeeded in the public school system. It seems it really depends on the school district and even the specific school and staff which makes it difficult. 

Just wanted to put in a plug for homeschooling, because we truly love it. Wishing you luck, you will make the right decision!

[waverly]

I feel like the tutor threw it out as a possibility, and you already know that possibility exists. Especially if you feel that school is going well at the moment. Honestly my plan B would be another school. We only have 1 public school in our area for each grade, but we do have 3 Catholic schools and a Montessori school as possible options if things go south. So homeschooling would be my plan C or D. I work, so I am not really schedule wise available, but obviously that is not the case for everyone. And if kids are old enough to stay home by themselves, I suppose I could potentially teach them in the morning and then work second shift.

If you do decide to homeschool, I would look into co-ops. I also have seen some parents do a mixture of homeschool, but then the kid comes to school for some classes. Something like band etc. I think if I would have to do it all with just an online curriculum that would be difficult. Depending on the schedule for the day, perhaps they go to school in the morning and my subjects are the afternoon or vice versa. Or they do co-op classes 2-3 times a week etc.

[Deleted]

There are almost no situations in which I would consider homeschooling, for a number of reasons.

With a child who has special educational needs, I really wouldn’t want to do it unless there is just absolutely no way for her to get the services she needs in any other setting. The law requires public schools to provide services for students who qualify. I know it can take a lot of effort to get the needed services, but I would start there.

[thebreakfastclub]

I thought your tutor was sub par before and still think they are.

[nicolewi]

Jan 10, 2020 15:32:57 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I thought your tutor was sub par before and still think they are.

You have very limited information and this is an unfair judgement. 

[icedcoffee]

Jan 10, 2020 15:41:00 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

Jan 10, 2020 15:32:57 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I thought your tutor was sub par before and still think they are.

You have very limited information and this is an unfair judgement. 

I mean, isn't this the same tutor who told you not to get your kid the services they need through the public school and now she's just telling you to pull your kid?

Schools have services for children like your daughter.  Utilize them.

[orval]

My ds has dyspraxia, dyscalculia and dysgraphia. I belong to some Facebook pages where many parents homeschool. Usually it is because they can't get the service the are supposed to get in public school. It is a real struggle to get the school to understand/allow accommodations. I can only imagine how difficult it is for teachers to deal with so many different disabilities/accomodations in one classroom.
Currently, my ds has accommodations (he goes to Catholic school) but he doesn't actually get to use them. Luckily, he can hold is own in class and they use Chromebooks so he doesn't have to write as much.

OP I would look into some dyslexia communities online. They are a wealth of information from people who are going through similar situations.

[jewel]

Spend your time and resources advocating for better, more appropriate services within the district. You will all be better off that way.

As a last resort, if you are really interested in using your private tutor during school hours, in order to give her more fun time, then work out a plan with the school to pull her out early as often as you have the tutor out.

I was a social worker, working in conjunction with special education services for 10+ years, with many hundreds of kids, and I can count on one hand the number of kids who would have, or did benefit from homeschooling instead of appropriate district, county, or non-public services. Barring health reasons, that would be my last, last, last resort.

[nicolewi]

Jan 10, 2020 15:54:23 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Jan 10, 2020 15:41:00 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

You have very limited information and this is an unfair judgement. 

I mean, isn't this the same tutor who told you not to get your kid the services they need through the public school and now she's just telling you to pull your kid?

Schools have services for children like your daughter.  Utilize them.

1. No, she never said that.

2. My daughter DOES receive services through the district now. Her teachers are great and I like and respect them. 

[aprilsails]

I have a friend who is homeschooling her children since her daughter had a very specific learning disability that makes it impossible for her to focus in a distracting environment. She has a basically unheard of brain development anomaly so there is literally no name for her condition and no existing educational supports or plans for her condition. She cannot function in a classroom setting, but is otherwise at grade level.

I think their religious convictions are also playing into the decision (particularly for the son) as they would probably pay for private school otherwise.

[sillygoosegirl]

I believe in some states, you can homeschool and still access all the special services through the school and have an IEP, etc. But in other states, if you home school, you are totally on your own.

I have a friend with 2 dyslexic children and 2 non-dyslexic children, has homeschooled them all. I believe they've paid out of pocket for the massive amount of extra help the dyslexic kids have had overcoming that. But both children (and the parents) are very smart and very driven, and it's worked out well for them since they have had the money to pay for the extra help those kids needed.

[jaycee]

I have an undergraduate degree in elementary education and was a few credits short of earning my masters degree in reading and I would NEVER ever ever take on home schooling my kid if he/she had dyslexia because I feel like even I don’t have enough training. There are only a minuscule percentage of professionals that even have enough or the correct training for that. Dyslexia is complex and not an easy disability to work through.

[Poeticxpassion]

Jan 10, 2020 14:51:35 GMT -5 monalua said:

I've homeschooled my kids for the last 5.5 years. We've done it since the beginning - they are 9, 6, and 4. We really love it and have no regrets. The pros are pretty amazing - flexible schedule (more time for sleep, sports practices, being outside/hiking, playdates, field trips, travel - we went to Disneyland last year in September and it was amazing), time together, one-on-one teaching in every subject. My kids also attend homeschool enrichment classes twice a week (2 different programs) where they have tons of homeschooled friends and take classes like P.E., art, music, speech, Spanish, science labs etc. and have recess, student council, and dances for the older kids. Homeschooling is pretty popular where we live.

I think the biggest con is that it's a lot of work and time. I consider it a full-time job and don't work outside the home. Lots of planning and of course the teaching (3 kids in different grades). My kids have plenty of opportunities for social time with friends, but I have to plan that out and shuttle them around daily. 

I did not start homeschooling due to a kid's learning difference or challenge, so I can't really speak to that, but I do have friends who are in that situation. They all seem to be thriving (both kids and parents). Some use outside tutors, therapy appointments, and therapy groups in addition to what they are doing at home.  There is a reading specialist tutor in my neighborhood that I know several homeschoolers use. The reading program I use to teach my kids (All About Reading) has Orton Gillingham components and is recommended for dyslexics - even though it seems to work well for may different types of students.

I have a family member with dyslexia that still succeeded in the public school system. It seems it really depends on the school district and even the specific school and staff which makes it difficult. 

Just wanted to put in a plug for homeschooling, because we truly love it. Wishing you luck, you will make the right decision!

What state are you in if you don’t mind sharing?

[monalua]

Jan 10, 2020 22:52:20 GMT -5 Poeticxpassion said:

Jan 10, 2020 14:51:35 GMT -5 monalua said:

I've homeschooled my kids for the last 5.5 years. We've done it since the beginning - they are 9, 6, and 4. We really love it and have no regrets. The pros are pretty amazing - flexible schedule (more time for sleep, sports practices, being outside/hiking, playdates, field trips, travel - we went to Disneyland last year in September and it was amazing), time together, one-on-one teaching in every subject. My kids also attend homeschool enrichment classes twice a week (2 different programs) where they have tons of homeschooled friends and take classes like P.E., art, music, speech, Spanish, science labs etc. and have recess, student council, and dances for the older kids. Homeschooling is pretty popular where we live.

I think the biggest con is that it's a lot of work and time. I consider it a full-time job and don't work outside the home. Lots of planning and of course the teaching (3 kids in different grades). My kids have plenty of opportunities for social time with friends, but I have to plan that out and shuttle them around daily. 

I did not start homeschooling due to a kid's learning difference or challenge, so I can't really speak to that, but I do have friends who are in that situation. They all seem to be thriving (both kids and parents). Some use outside tutors, therapy appointments, and therapy groups in addition to what they are doing at home.  There is a reading specialist tutor in my neighborhood that I know several homeschoolers use. The reading program I use to teach my kids (All About Reading) has Orton Gillingham components and is recommended for dyslexics - even though it seems to work well for may different types of students.

I have a family member with dyslexia that still succeeded in the public school system. It seems it really depends on the school district and even the specific school and staff which makes it difficult. 

Just wanted to put in a plug for homeschooling, because we truly love it. Wishing you luck, you will make the right decision!

What state are you in if you don’t mind sharing?

We're in Colorado.

Worth noting that different states have different laws/requirements related to homeschooling and OP should definitely research this for her state.

[sdlaura]

Lurker here - DH and his sister (now 43 and nearly 40] were both homeschooled for a few years in elementary school. They were pulled due to school quality and not because of religion or learning challenges or other reasons listed. My in laws both had education backgrounds and they were involved in a lot of activities with other kids.

Neither DH nor his sister would ever consider homeschooling their own kids, for different reasons. DH wouldn’t do it for the social reasons - he felt like he had a really hard time fitting in when they sent him back to school and wishes he had more regular experience dealing with people he didn’t get along with/people who think and learn differently than he does, day in and day out. He still deals with that issue at work. SIL didn’t like the relationship with her mom that resulted, and some other related issues around family dynamics. DH and SIL are both professionally successful so I don’t think it hurt their achievement/may have furthered it. Who knows.

[Poeticxpassion]

Jan 10, 2020 23:04:17 GMT -5 monalua said:

Jan 10, 2020 22:52:20 GMT -5 Poeticxpassion said:

What state are you in if you don’t mind sharing?

We're in Colorado.

Worth noting that different states have different laws/requirements related to homeschooling and OP should definitely research this for her state.

I’m in Colorado as well. Would you be open to sending me a pm with the program you home-school through?

[oswin]

We've got friends who just decided to start homeschooling both their kids. It was because the school was not willing/able to accommodate them. As in, the 3rd grader with autism was supposed to have a break, but sometimes they just skip it and he then has behavior issues. The younger kid has been receiving Pre-K services, but apparently the state of Texas doesn't recognize speech apraxia as a condition, so they can only offer 15 minutes of speech a week. Their insurance covers quite a lot of OT and speech, but she'd end up missing half of the school day every day. So the mom just started homeschooling both of them, so that they can get professional help and still learn.

[monalua]

Jan 11, 2020 2:32:53 GMT -5 Poeticxpassion said:

Jan 10, 2020 23:04:17 GMT -5 monalua said:

We're in Colorado.

Worth noting that different states have different laws/requirements related to homeschooling and OP should definitely research this for her state.

I’m in Colorado as well. Would you be open to sending me a pm with the program you home-school through?

I PM'd you.

[lolalolalola]

I would look into private school options before homeschooling. Good luck. 

[savan]

I, too, have a dyslexic child and would never homeschool because I'm not at all qualified to provide an education to them. We had great success with private tutoring 3-4 days per week for over a year. DS made great strides in his reading ability.

That said, I find a lot of these comments insisting that the school is required to provide services and has services available to be very naive. DS was diagnosed with dyslexia and dysgraphia 4 years ago and we have yet to receive any help from the school. In fact, we had to pursue private testing because they laughed at me when I brought up the idea that DS was dyslexic. Most of the school employees I encountered had no idea how to diagnose or treat dyslexia. His 3rd grade teacher was insistent that he wasn't dyslexic because he didn't reverse his numbers. Sure, Jan.
.
When I came back to them with proof of disability, they were super mean and fought to even provide me with a 504. He is extremely smart and can compensate quite well. Unless a kid is failing by a certain amount, the school doesn't have to provide jack. And, even if they did provide services, what they provide is far from appropriate in our district. I can understand why a parent would be tempted to homeschool here.

[nicolewi]

savan, thank you, it seems like you understand a little bit more where I am coming from. If she ends up needing tutoring even more than now, and that's what's helping, I'd rather do that DURING The school day (with an outside tutor) and hence would have to consider homeschooling the rest on my own. Again, I said I was NOT LIKELY to do this...just looking into it a bit to get some real-life info.

Yes, the school has interventions; whether they are the best/most on-point/most high quality interventions is unlikely. They are trying, but the schools are just now really starting to look at dyslexia in a different way than regular remedial classes.

I do think things are starting to change, but we are truly RIGHT on the cusp of that. Last year, our school starting using an OG based program for reading help with first grade and up for the first time ever. Just last year! I'm thrilled they are using it at all in my district. They also switched the whole school to a phonics program this year, which is also great...so we'll see what develops.

[CloudBee]

We transitioned to homeschooling our 1st grader back in October for a number of reasons.

I have no experience with dyslexia or learning disabilities. One of the handful of reasons we pulled our son from his small private school was actually because he's ahead in all subjects and wasn't challenged. Due to his medical status our public school district would require him to have a one on one aide. That would crush him. We opted for private school last year for K because they were safely able to manage his medical issues without 1 on 1 care. Unfortunately this year proved to be a disaster as enrollment in schools across our state is down. His private school became understaffed. They are also unable to supplement learning for children who are ahead. (They do bring tutors in for those falling behind.) After a few relentless bullying issues that the school failed to appropriately address, we pulled him. (2 instances were in the bathroom, my son being locked in a stall, and another child exposing himself.) Private schools with low enrollment are slow to expel as each student basically walks around with a dollar sign over their head.

PDQ the above as I will eventually delete it.

Fast forward to today, and homeschooling has been an amazing fit for our family. I've always toyed with the idea in my mind, but never thought DH would be onboard. Now DH is adamant that we homeschool next year as well. We have no idea when we'll stop. We'll continue as long as it feels like the right decision for our family.

We purchased a full curriculum with video lessons, texts, workbooks, and manipulatives from a solid company. I knew I needed something comprehensive this first year. Unfortunately my son hates the videos so we wasted money that area. He much prefers that I teach him. I'm ok with that for now. I thought he would love toting around his portable DVD player and doing lessons on the go. Wrong.

What we love about homeschooling? Your child can learn at their own pace. My son has been able to test ahead in math. Our state has lenient homeschool laws, yet I feel a strong need to file tests to document where he's at vs just placing him ahead in math. It's also helped me to see gaps. He really struggles with telling time. I'm thankful we have all the time in the world (har har) to work on that. At home he has more time to read, create (he made a chair out of cardboard this week), and focus on his interests. All while still accomplishing everything in the curriculum we've chosen. Earlier this year in his 1st grade classroom his teacher made him share his chapter books as if they were toys. Devastating for a kid that had read X pages, placed a bookmark, then set it down only to find his teacher had given another child a "turn". (Losing his place and bookmark. Repeatedly.) Yet reading was the activity suggested when he finished his work early. So frustrating.

DS used to miss a lot of school for medical appointments. He would be sent home with busy work to fill those gaps. Now he can take school with him to the hospital. Yesterday we left the hospital and visited a world class art museum. We didn't have to rush back to "school". I'm thankful for that.

Next year I will do more of a piecemeal curriculum, now that I have a better grasp on his learning style and preferences. He really enjoys both Singapore Math and old school mast facts / drilling. Singapore is considered CC aligned (so no concerns about possible future school enrollment), yet it makes more sense to him.

Socialization? Not a concern. He participates in homeschool gymnastics during the traditional school day. We have also tapped into a homeschool group that routinely gets together together for museum tours, dissections, hiking adventures, etc. This week they had a "show and tell" get together for the elementary aged kids. Add in all of the traditional after school extracurriculars DS participates in and he's around children all the time. I find mixed age settings are more "real world" and natural than a room with 20-30 kids of the same age. That's a fairly new concept. There's a strong stigma toward homeschooling. That children are "weird", "not socialized", etc. It's not true. They are, as a whole, just as "normal" as children attending actual schools.

Again, I know nothing about dyslexia. But I am aware of a few families in homeschool groups who have pulled their children for this reason. While schools should provide adequate services, that's not always the reality.

[CloudBee]

Jan 11, 2020 10:19:23 GMT -5 lolalolalola said:

I would look into private school options before homeschooling. Good luck. 

Unless the private school is specifically geared toward students with learning differences, they are typically LESS able to accommodate. 

[scribellesam]

As a former special education attorney and current parent of a child with an IEP, the idea that public schools are able and happily willing to provide all services needed for children with disabilities is laughably naive (despite their being legally obligated to do so).

I know this board is very anti-homeschool in general, but there are plenty of charter options in my area at least (SoCal) that use a homeschool/charter school combo allowing for students to work at home for a certain number of days per week while attending school and receiving instruction and guidance from professional teachers on the other days. This is what I would look into for my son if I felt his public school was not able or willing to provide what he needed (and I didn’t want to go through the legal battle often required to force them).