scm1011 , yes! I was also hoping daycare would do some of the heavy lifting here. I had friends whose kids previously went to this daycare and they were all like "oh they basically potty trained the kids for us!" That has not been my experience. :/ I would probably rather take the stance of not forcing it, but like you, I think my kid just doesn't have much motivation to do it otherwise.
I mentioned this before but maybe it was to another poster. My nephews were 4.5 and 4 when they finally trained. They were both extremely stubborn about it. I think my sister tried everything under the sun, and also tried to the oh they just woke up and did it, and none of that worked.
It just finally happened, but I think she did have to have them run around naked for a little while to make it work, so I guess it was some kind of weird hybrid of everything she had tried. She was very frustrated.
I definitely had my frustrations with my DS because he just couldn't seem to make the connection, and his accidents decreased yes, but very slowly. Like we started at 2 accidents a day for a month, then 1 accident a day for maybe 2 months, then 4 accidents a week, then 3 accidents a week, then 2, then 1, then 1 every other week. You get my drift. It was so slow....
We did the Oh Crap method mostly and offered m&ms (1 pee, 2 for poop). DS was naked from the waist down for the first 3-4 days, then commando for a month. Then underwear and pants. We loaded DS up with juice and waited to catch him peeing and then rushed him to the bathroom. He was confined to his bedroom and bathroom for the first 3 days to contain the mess and make sure he was close enough to the bathroom to be successful. We seriously had picnic meals on the floor in his room right outside the bathroom.We also laid down towels all over his bedroom and brought out several new toys, puzzles and coloring pages (all from FB Buy Nothing).
H was home for the first 4 days (New Years long weekend) and then I was on my own. H works 1+ hours away so I'm on my own for 11ish hours M-F. The first 4-5 days on my own were the hardest. Then it got easier.
ETA: DS was 2y8m I believe. Also, it's been a year and DS still occasionally has accidents... and I'm still reminding him to listen to his body/go potty if it's been a few hours. Someday I won't be in charge of DS' bathroom needs. Someday....
ETA2: DS still wears goodnites and a sposie to bed (and fills them up every night) and a pull up when we travel long distances just in case. The pull ups are always dry but they are definitely just in case because while traveling it's harder to go right.this.second! He still has to tell us when he needs to pee.
Post by cricketwife on Jan 17, 2020 17:16:37 GMT -5
We just waited until forever. Seriously, my first attempt with DS1 was when he was 3 yr 1 . I sent underwear and lots of changes of clothes to daycare. He had no accidents the first day and like 1 or 2 the whole week. Done. It was soooooo easy and I’m so glad we just waited until he was ready.
DS2 was very similar except I tried to train him once at like 2.5 because he was showing sides of being ready. It didn’t work so we just tabled it and at 3, he trained pretty quickly - not quite as fast as DS1 (DS2 had more accidents at home but was fine at daycare.) DS2 also pooped in a diaper for about a month after being potty trained, he’d tell you he wanted a diaper or just wait for his nighttime diaper so nbd.
This is just something I don’t see at all the advantage of doing early unless a kid is clearly ready. I’m in the minority with this. But for me, diapers are also way easier than being out and about with a 2 year old who needs a potty “this second” and always at the most inconvenient time.
My first two we just kind of told them it was time. I think once they seemed to be getting it and going on the potty, we did Pull-Ups for a little bit, but they treated them like underwear. They were "just in case."
My third one was much tougher. When it was definitely time for her to learn, I had to do more of the 3-day type thing with her. She just wouldn't try to stay dry as long as she had a Pull-Up on so we had to go cold turkey to underwear. Had several accidents the first couple of days but then it was great.
Post by redpenmama on Jan 17, 2020 20:59:33 GMT -5
I never attempted the 3-day thing. Once I got the sense they were ready to train (telling me that they needed a diaper change, occasionally peeing on the potty, waking up dry, etc.), we switched to underwear. I put the potty in a visible location downstairs and set a timer for 20 minutes, and we sat on the potty every 20 minutes. If they peed, they got something. Everyone had a different currency, ranging from a mini marshmallow to picking a toy out of a bin (I stocked up on cheap stuff from the Dollar Store).
Timing varied with every kid, but within a few days to a week, we a) stretched the 20 minutes out to 30 and then 40 etc. and b) they started telling me when they needed to go. There were accidents but they went in the potty far more often than they did not. Until I felt comfortable taking them out in underwear, we would wear Pull-Ups but still put them on the potty when we could, and we wore Pull-Ups at night. The girls (who were both 2.5) trained in about 10 days; my boy was older (just over 3) and took a few weeks of this process.
Post by mccallister84 on Jan 17, 2020 22:42:20 GMT -5
We tried and failed with the three day method. Then I just started asking her when she was pooping if she wanted to sit on the potty. Randomly she said yes (months and month in). So then I asked her if she wanted undies and she said yes. She had one accident that day and then she was pee trained. Now, even though she pooped in the potty that day, I can count on one hand the number of times she’s pooped on the potty since and she’s been trained since February. Now she just asks for a diaper when she needs to poop. I have finally gotten her to sit on the (closed) toilet, fully dressed and poop but I’m totally over it. The pediatrician told me not to force it because she can cause a lot of damage if she decides to hold it.
No single moment since I've become a parent has made it clearer that all kids are different until I potty trained. What works for 1 kid probably won't work for another. Also--I learned my kid is REALLY stubborn.
Attempt #1 was pretty humbling I must say. And a great lesson for us as parents to really think about how our kid learns and responds, and not just go by the book. I'm pretty sure our solution will be to do exactly the opposite of what the book says.
Every bit of advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. We did “Oh Crap” (which in my opinion is less pressure than 3 day) right after dd’s 2nd birthday and it worked amazingly well. With that said, I learned pretty quickly that all of the advice was NOT for us. Dd HATED when I would prompt her and dug her heels in HARD. Once I stopped she DID have a few accidents, but she also seemed to learn better that way. It was smooth sailing once I let her take the lead.
So yeah. All of that is to say that whichever method you use, remember that ultimately you know your kid best & all advice should simply be taken as a guideline.
Post by starburst604 on Jan 18, 2020 7:48:19 GMT -5
redheadk it was the same for my DD with the Oh Crap approach. It was a motivator for her to hear that she was a big girl and big girls use the potty, so we’re going to teach you how. We just said there were no more diapers and it’s time to wear underwear like big girls. It wasn’t an option, it was just ok here’s what we’re doing and here’s how it works. This was a Saturday and by Monday she was having no accidents. She’s generally a pretty compliant kid though, and I think she was at her perfect PT “ready” point (she was 2y9m), so I realize it can be personality and age dependent. I don’t know if it would have worked when she was younger, but I’m also glad we did it before she was 3 when she became a lot more stubborn. And mouthy lol.
We’re trying potty training this weekend, with underwear and a timer every 15 minutes. A couple small accidents, a couple successful pees, and our third pair of underwear so far.
DD keeps asking to go into the bathroom every few minutes but a lot of it seems to be that she wants to play with the toilet paper or wash her hands. I also think she’s not quite realizing when she has to go.
Attempt #1 was pretty humbling I must say. And a great lesson for us as parents to really think about how our kid learns and responds, and not just go by the book. I'm pretty sure our solution will be to do exactly the opposite of what the book says.
Every bit of advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. We did “Oh Crap” (which in my opinion is less pressure than 3 day) right after dd’s 2nd birthday and it worked amazingly well. With that said, I learned pretty quickly that all of the advice was NOT for us. Dd HATED when I would prompt her and dug her heels in HARD. Once I stopped she DID have a few accidents, but she also seemed to learn better that way. It was smooth sailing once I let her take the lead.
So yeah. All of that is to say that whichever method you use, remember that ultimately you know your kid best & all advice should simply be taken as a guideline.
This 💯. We did Oh Crap and there were definitely things that weren't for us. My DD picked it up right away, but then had anxiety about letting her pee out even when she was on the toilet. She also hated to go to the bathroom with anyone other than me, so that was fun. She was a night pooper, so we basically couldn't do poop training unless we also wanted to lose massive amounts of sleep (she did poop train a few months later when she dropped her nap plus we bribed). I think she would have benefited from pull ups earlier - we had to resort to them eventually to take the pressure off her pee anxiety. Also none of the oh Crap poop explanations worked for her. Anyway, yes, take all methods with a grain of salt.
Yeah, I think the Oh Crap mentions something about potty training them at a certain age and is basically "good luck!" after that. I just ignored that part and focused on the language to use with introducing DD to the process and the milestones. We did it when DD was 2y, 10 months. She had to be potty trained to start Preschool 3s and has a summer birthday so we didn't have much wiggle room. Our completely miserable experience with 3 Day Method was when DD was 2y 6 months.
Post by thoseareradishes on Jan 18, 2020 13:20:59 GMT -5
We used the Oh Crap method and it worked really well for us. I think a lot of it was that I felt really confident going in. I read the entire book, cleared our calendar for a few days, and used a lot of the language she suggested in the book. So I felt like I had a solid plan with concrete milestones to go by. I watched that kid like a hawk for several days, it was exhausting!
She is very resistant to prompting now, so I just try really hard to let her figure it out. Recently she has started to say to me, I listen to my body! because that's what I tell her she needs to do. She also likes going over how poop comes out, because I had to give a very detailed explanation, with play-doh, to her because I don't think she understood what it felt like to need to go poop.
Yeah, I think the Oh Crap mentions something about potty training them at a certain age and is basically "good luck!" after that. I just ignored that part and focused on the language to use with introducing DD to the process and the milestones. We did it when DD was 2y, 10 months. She had to be potty trained to start Preschool 3s and has a summer birthday so we didn't have much wiggle room. Our completely miserable experience with 3 Day Method was when DD was 2y 6 months.
I think the “sweet spot” was 24-36 mo. After that she said in her experience you run into more roadblocks. Which I can see from some kids. It’s sure as hell more difficult to get my strong willed 34 mo old to do things now, then when we potty trained at 24 mo. Although other things are easier (like communication and understanding) so I could see how depending on the kid it might be easier at the older age. I think it’s one of those things where it might very well be true for 75% of the toddler population, but not EVERY kid. No one can tell you 100% when your kid is ready. Hell, even WE can’t say 100% when our kids are. You have to pick a plan, stick with it, then take your child’s cues and listen to your gut.
Update: he did a sneaky poop in the potty when we weren’t paying attention and didn’t tell us. What. Still no pee anywhere but undies.
LOL - congrats on your mystery poo!
We are also attempting PT today. One pee in the potty, two on the floor. I should have pulled up our living room rug like literally every website on this topic advises.
Update: he did a sneaky poop in the potty when we weren’t paying attention and didn’t tell us. What. Still no pee anywhere but undies.
LOL - congrats on your mystery poo!
We are also attempting PT today. One pee in the potty, two on the floor. I should have pulled up our living room rug like literally every website on this topic advises.
Godspeed! I did so little prep for this whole thing but miraculously did roll up the rug.
Ok, so we’re setting the timer for 15-min increments. Sometimes DD will go in and sit (usually no pee), other times she doesn’t even want to do it.
She’s also had spurts where she asks to go to the potty every 3 minutes or so, then gets into the bathroom and says no and walks out. Or wants to sit on the potty for just a minute before getting up and leaving.
She did this a few times during dinner with no success, just to play around with taking off her new underwear, and finally MH told her to just sit and eat dinner and she could go to the bathroom when she was done eating. And of course she immediately peed all over her booster seat and we had to wash it for the second time today.
So do we take her to the bathroom when she’s asking to go every few minutes, or do we make her wait for the alarm to go off every 15 minutes?
Ok, so we’re setting the timer for 15-min increments. Sometimes DD will go in and sit (usually no pee), other times she doesn’t even want to do it.
She’s also had spurts where she asks to go to the potty every 3 minutes or so, then gets into the bathroom and says no and walks out. Or wants to sit on the potty for just a minute before getting up and leaving.
She did this a few times during dinner with no success, just to play around with taking off her new underwear, and finally MH told her to just sit and eat dinner and she could go to the bathroom when she was done eating. And of course she immediately peed all over her booster seat and we had to wash it for the second time today.
So do we take her to the bathroom when she’s asking to go every few minutes, or do we make her wait for the alarm to go off every 15 minutes?
Every 15 min is A LOT. I would take her lead and definitely take her when she asks, but also maybe back off a bit if she fights you on every 15 min. I swear, they learn more from the accidents than they do by accidentally peeing on the toilet because you put them there. If dd was having an accident, I would catch her midstream, move to the bathroom and say, “We pee pee on the toilet.” Then I would have her help me clean up the accident. NO SHAME, but also never saying it’s ok. “You’re learning. You’ll get it, but this is why we need to only pee on the toilet. Here, let’s clean this up.”
Ok, so we’re setting the timer for 15-min increments. Sometimes DD will go in and sit (usually no pee), other times she doesn’t even want to do it.
She’s also had spurts where she asks to go to the potty every 3 minutes or so, then gets into the bathroom and says no and walks out. Or wants to sit on the potty for just a minute before getting up and leaving.
She did this a few times during dinner with no success, just to play around with taking off her new underwear, and finally MH told her to just sit and eat dinner and she could go to the bathroom when she was done eating. And of course she immediately peed all over her booster seat and we had to wash it for the second time today.
So do we take her to the bathroom when she’s asking to go every few minutes, or do we make her wait for the alarm to go off every 15 minutes?
So I only prompted her to go at transition times - before eating or leaving the house, before and after nap, etc. It works out to prompting every 1-2 hours. Otherwise I did my best to leave her alone, which is so hard, but I think it helped E not get frustrated at me bugging her too often to go, and she also learned what if felt like to need to go. Even now, she will 90% of the time tell me no if I ask her to go. So I just say ok, you know where the potty is, listen to your body.
Update: three on the floor. Seems like she goes every 2 hours, so tomorrow I think we’re going to prompt her every 1.5. We did every hour today and I think it was too much & just made her not try to go.
Update: three on the floor. Seems like she goes every 2 hours, so tomorrow I think we’re going to prompt her every 1.5. We did every hour today and I think it was too much & just made her not try to go.
We had one successful pee and poop today. Both were unprompted and when we left him alone. We started the day having him sit every 15 minutes when the timer went off. It seemed to confuse him that that was the only time he should sit on he potty. I’m going to try a more hands off approach tomorrow.
Ok, so we’re setting the timer for 15-min increments. Sometimes DD will go in and sit (usually no pee), other times she doesn’t even want to do it.
She’s also had spurts where she asks to go to the potty every 3 minutes or so, then gets into the bathroom and says no and walks out. Or wants to sit on the potty for just a minute before getting up and leaving.
She did this a few times during dinner with no success, just to play around with taking off her new underwear, and finally MH told her to just sit and eat dinner and she could go to the bathroom when she was done eating. And of course she immediately peed all over her booster seat and we had to wash it for the second time today.
So do we take her to the bathroom when she’s asking to go every few minutes, or do we make her wait for the alarm to go off every 15 minutes?
Every 15 min is A LOT. I would take her lead and definitely take her when she asks, but also maybe back off a bit if she fights you on every 15 min. I swear, they learn more from the accidents than they do by accidentally peeing on the toilet because you put them there. If dd was having an accident, I would catch her midstream, move to the bathroom and say, “We pee pee on the toilet.” Then I would have her help me clean up the accident. NO SHAME, but also never saying it’s ok. “You’re learning. You’ll get it, but this is why we need to only pee on the toilet. Here, let’s clean this up.”
Ok thanks! We’ll back off and only do a prompt after an hour or two.
So what do we do when she’s asking to go every few minutes so she can play around? Take her every time she asks, or tell her to wait? She acts like it’s urgent every single time so it’s hard to tell if she’s serious or not.
Every 15 min is A LOT. I would take her lead and definitely take her when she asks, but also maybe back off a bit if she fights you on every 15 min. I swear, they learn more from the accidents than they do by accidentally peeing on the toilet because you put them there. If dd was having an accident, I would catch her midstream, move to the bathroom and say, “We pee pee on the toilet.” Then I would have her help me clean up the accident. NO SHAME, but also never saying it’s ok. “You’re learning. You’ll get it, but this is why we need to only pee on the toilet. Here, let’s clean this up.”
Ok thanks! We’ll back off and only do a prompt after an hour or two.
So what do we do when she’s asking to go every few minutes so she can play around? Take her every time she asks, or tell her to wait? She acts like it’s urgent every single time so it’s hard to tell if she’s serious or not.
As annoying as it is, I’d just take her every time for now. See how long the shenanigans last. You just started and it’s all so new to her. I think it would be bad for her to have an accident when she was trying to tell you, but you told her no. It’s so annoying in the beginning. Dd never had a clear pattern in the first few days. It would seem like every hour or so, then suddenly she’s go twice in 30 min. Then on day three she held it for 6 hours. (At which point I made her sit because she really wanted to go for a walk and I was not getting that far from our house with a bladder that full. LOL)
I cant keep track of who to tag, there are so many of you!
1) Yay for poop in the potty! That's huge!
2) Watch for meal time shenanigans. C kept saying he had to pee during meals (he did, but he wouldn't go) and so we got really lax about eating at the table, meal times, etc. Two years of meal training was done over a weekend. And yeah, he peed at the table. It was the only time he stopped moving.
3) Congratulations on making it through day 1. Have a glass of wine or five!