We did it for the first time (3 nights & left her with my mom) when dd was not quite 7 mo. It was a trip we had planned from before pregnancy. We had my mom do a bedtime routine test (we went out to dinner) to make sure dd was ok. It was fine, but I was still breastfeeding and the pumping was a pain in the ass.
My older, we didn't leave overnight until he was 22 months. In hindsight, that was way too long but he (and I) both did great. But we had also only just weaned at 18 months.
My younger, I left him overnight once at 9 months, but it was only for 1 night. I think it didn't go super well and I wasn't really ready. I'll be more comfortable doing so as soon as he weans.
Post by simpsongal on Jan 23, 2020 15:02:10 GMT -5
I'd wait until they're out of the womb...
seriously, I think I would feel bad for the other person having to care for a tiny newborn too early and my hormones probably would not have permitted it. After 4 months, probably fine. But that cute baby time is so short, I wouldn't want to be away too long (which I know sounds lame, but my baaaabies!).
~15 months is the worst so I'd gladly skip town for a while w/o them!
15 months. I had a meeting in San Francisco and I turned it into a 4 day trip with DH. It was hard to actually leave him, but then I hardly missed him lol. I left him with my sister and he did great.
DH did a weekend anniversary trip when DS1 was about 18 months old. He was STTN and not nursing at all. We left him with both of our moms (mine flew in, his is local). I felt pretty good about it, though we both really missed him and were excited to get back.
We had MIL watch DS1 for a weekend when he was 4 months. DS2 stayed with his sitter (who had been with us for years at that point) for a long weekend when the rest of us went to a wedding when he was 8 or 9 months? I would have been ok doing it earlier but we didn’t have anywhere to go lol. Both kids switched between boob and bottle so that wasn’t a concern.
Oh my GOSH. At 14 months if I had a family member who would take DS I would travel to the other side of the flipping world for a week. Or two.
DS has never been away from us for more than, like, 36 hours. We don't have family locally.
I feel like a broken record, but when he was about 18 months old (?) we were supposed to go to Switzerland for roughly 5 days without him. Then he and DH came down with hand foot and mouth so our trip was cancelled less than 24 hrs before departure. whomp whomp
Now he has some big health challenges and requires injections. We don't have family that can take him, and I can't imagine friends giving him a shot or two while we're gone.
The first (and only time) H and I have both been away from DS overnight was when he was 13 months old. We really need a getaway this year. The problem is we have no local family (they are a 2.5-5 hour drive away) so that makes it harder. And my parents snowbird OOS for 3 months every year too. The first time I took DS to my parents' house w/o H DS was 2.5 months old. So H has been away from DS for a week at a time at least 4-5 weeks/year since the beginning.
I do a sisters weekend every Oct (starting 2018) and I get 36 hours away from DS. It's glorious and I don't miss DS or H.
ETA: we know we'll be attending/in a wedding (H will be best man as it's his bff) but that will be summer 2021 so DS will be 5. Anyways, we'll need overnight childcare for that. Friday and Saturday night I think.
Post by sunshine608 on Jan 23, 2020 16:53:13 GMT -5
13 months for both. When DS was 13 months we went to Vegas for a weekend for our anniversary. I think it was 4 days/ 3 nights. A few months later ( 17 months) we left him for 10 days.
DD we left for an overnight trip at 13 months and then a few longer trips when DH and I were both traveling for work.
Post by sandandsea on Jan 23, 2020 17:28:19 GMT -5
We didn’t leave the oldest until he was 2. We left the youngest at 1. It was with my mom and I trust her 100000%. Dh and I needed us time and it was totally worth it. I should have done it sooner.
DD stayed with my parents for two nights when she was three months old. We were a short train ride away and she started STTN that weekend. It’s different for everybody but we felt so weird being away from her. We weren’t upset or emotional about it but we just felt off. It kind of took away from the treat of being alone. Coincidentally, I barfed in my parents’ kitchen trash can when we went to pick her up. I’m pretty sure it was mild food poisoning but my dad would say it was psychosomatic.
We have not been away for any overnights since. It’s not for lack of trying but I get the feeling that my parents (mom specifically) are waiting until she’s older. She’s 18 months now and very independent/comfortable with my parents so I think she’d be fine.
Post by Velar Fricative on Jan 23, 2020 18:23:42 GMT -5
First time was when we only had DD1 and she was 13 months old. She stayed with my trustworthy mom for a weekend.
With DD2, we left them for 7 days when DD1 was 5.5 and DD2 was 20 months old. They stayed with my trustworthy ILs. It’s a little harder with two kids for sure so we don’t ask as much.
I think the first time we left DS1 was at 10 months with my parents. I was not done nursing and I pumped the whole time. It was for a wedding across the country and we were gone 3 nights. All was fine! I think that was the first time I left him at all (like--I hadn't even left him overnight with my H at that point).
DS2 is 5 months now and we still haven't left him. We'll probably leave him with my parents when he's 13 months for a week. I'll be done nursing. BUT! I plan to leave him at 7 months with my H for 5 nights while still nursing. TBH, I'd leave him now for a night, but no one seems to want to take him. LOL
I think part of my hangup is that no one else has ever put DD to bed at night besides me or H. We've used evening babysitters, but we always put DD to bed ourselves and then the babysitter just stays at the house. I'm so nervous about her going to bed for anyone else! We should probably practice that sooner rather than later....
If this is your biggest fear, does your family live close enough that you could do a trial bedtime run before leaving for the night? Have the family member come over before bedtime and do the whole bedtime routine while you and dh go to dinner, and then if it doesn't go well, they can call and you can come home, but if it goes fine you'll feel a lot better about the trip? We left both kids when dd was around 1, but I didn't nurse, so I feel like that made it easier.
DS is 2.5 and we’ve only left him with my parents overnight three times. Once at around 13 months to go out with friends, once at almost 2 for a wedding, and so DH could stay at the hospital the night DD was born.
Honestly, I hate pumping and don’t feel like dealing with the logistics of leaving DD until I’m done nursing (I made it to 13 months with DS). Also I am one of those cursed people who hates and is super anxious away from her kids. I want to be someone who can travel without them SO BAD. Or even have a night off without feeling guilty. I’ve wondered if it’s because I’ve never had either in daycare and haven’t worked full time since having DS so being without them is so unusual and feels weird and wrong. Maybe once DS starts preschool I’ll be more comfortable.
My first weekend back from ML I had to leave DD with my parents overnight Saturday/Sunday because H was working as well. She was 3 months old. (I work 12 hour night shifts in health care).
Honestly she did great, and I did too. I had to supplement with formula fairly early on so she was used to bottles. I think I was pumping about every 6 hours by that time. I called to check on her a few times and that really helped to ease my anxiety. Tbh, sleeping in on Monday was glorious lol.
Post by notsopicky on Jan 23, 2020 21:14:25 GMT -5
10 months. My dad was passing through my town on business, so he picked E up and drove him the 9 or so hours back to my parents' place. We went to Hawaii for a week for H's work (incentive trip, 10 hour flight away) and it was really weird. I waited so long to have him (I was 37), and then it felt like all of a sudden, after being MOM for 10 months, I was--whammo--*just* notsopicky again. It was a fun trip, but I missed him something fierce and called my parents every single day a couple times a day, just to make sure all was well. I was *that mom*, lol.
We still don't leave him with others overnight all that often (not deliberately, it just doesn't come up often), and he's 8(!) (he's probably stayed with my parents 5 times in his life for a week here or a weekend there) and we've done 2 1-night overnighters with his babysitter (she's his former preschool teacher), but that's it.
Post by aprilsails on Jan 23, 2020 21:30:31 GMT -5
At 11 months I left DD for 2 nights with DH to do a bachelorette weekend. She was a bottle refuser and was still nursing once overnight so that was a bit challenging for him and for me. I hated pumping while I was away.
At 16 months we went to Las Vegas for 4 nights. I weaned before going and she would take milk in a 360 cup overnight. She stayed with my Mom for 2 nights and my Dad for 2 nights and they both said she was perfect.
Well, we left DD1 at 8 weeks with my parents to go to a wedding of a close friends and we all survived. It sucked to pump so often but it was fine for us all.
I will say that we leave our kids early and often (we are super lucky that we have two sets of local grandparents who love to have them) and it has been healthy for them to have learned to be away from us.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I left DD for the first time with my parents when she was 5 weeks old. I had a specialist appointment early the next morning a few hours away, so it was easier. She stayed a night or two here and there and then at 6 months we left her with my parents for 15 days. She did fantastic and it was easier on me knowing she was somewhere I trusted. It helps me also to know that my parents have bedrooms set up for the grandkids with a crib, toys, etc.
DD spent one night with my mom at 3 months old. We had H's good friend's wedding.
Twin DSs were 1.5 months old. Left them for the night with my parents to go to a concert 3 hours away. Brought DD with because the couple we went to the concert with had a daughter her age.
All of our kids were formula fed exclusively by those times though. But it was so good to get a full nights rest (especially in the case of the twins.)
I leave DS with DH solo frequently for 3-4 days so I can travel for work or go on girls trips. He is 2.5 and we have never left him alone without us. I would have been comfortable leaving him with my sister when he was 16 months (done BFing).
In your situation, go for it! You can always pump once or twice if you’re still BFing.
Post by redheadbaker on Jan 26, 2020 14:19:44 GMT -5
We left DS with my parents when he was 20 months for a weekend trip. He had had plenty of 1-night sleepovers with them before that, starting at about 4 months old
I am not a mom, I clicked on the wrong board. I saw this though and thought I would chime in.
I was talking with my Mom last night about something and she told me she left me for a weekend when I was 7 months old because of my aunts wedding. I was really surprised!
First time was the week before DS turned 1- I was in a wedding across the country. H didn’t leave until Saturday morning (I left earlier being in the wedding) and we both were on the first flight back Sunday so just one night with grandparents. My in-laws came to us as they were coming out for DS’s birthday anyhow.
Second time was also for a wedding, and we left him for two nights at my in-laws place, we were there for a night or two before leaving so he could acclimate with us there. DS was 22 months that time.
DS is now 2 years and nearly 4 months, and the third time is coming up because I’m due with DD and kids can’t stay overnight in the hospital (and during flu season the hospital may not allow him to visit either), and my mom will be staying with him at our house.
~15 months is the worst so I'd gladly skip town for a while w/o them!
This seems to be a popular sentiment. LOL. I guess I’m glad our anniversary falls at a time when I will be needing a break!
OMG this just reminded me of how horrible 15 mo the was with DD. I totally dropped her off with grandparents and was like BYE! She was the worst Mommy obsessed kid at that age.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Jan 27, 2020 6:55:37 GMT -5
I’m leaving L with my H in October for a wedding in Canada. He will be 13 months old. Without us? Honestly no clue. Our families aren’t here and I wouldn’t trust a stranger for overnights. Heck I don’t trust anyone. Lol.