How old to leave LO with someone else for a weekend trip?

[mrsGreeko]

We didn’t leave my oldest until she was like 7, middle was like 4, and youngest was like 2. But to be fair my DH was deployed or mobilizing for deployment from the time my oldest was 6 months until she was 2, then we got pregnant immediately with middle kid who nursed a lot until she was almost 2 and then I was pregnant again and had another baby who was very attached to nursing until he was almost 2 also. So circumstances just kind of made it happen the way it did.

[icedcoffee]

I think the first time we left DS1 was at 10 months with my parents. I was not done nursing and I pumped the whole time. It was for a wedding across the country and we were gone 3 nights. All was fine! I think that was the first time I left him at all (like--I hadn't even left him overnight with my H at that point).

DS2 is 5 months now and we still haven't left him. We'll probably leave him with my parents when he's 13 months for a week. I'll be done nursing. BUT! I plan to leave him at 7 months with my H for 5 nights while still nursing. TBH, I'd leave him now for a night, but no one seems to want to take him. LOL

[wanderingback]

I'm not a parent, but I love to travel and have had friends recently who also share my love of travel and now have newborns. So I've been talking to them about this and how things are going.

Friend 1 - went to her bff's wedding when child was 1 month old and left child overnight with a family member. The child is now about 2 yo and her and her H do a weekend away (sometimes even in the same city) every couple of months while a family member watches child.
Friend 2 - has a newborn now. She has plans to travel with her H within the next few months and has approached me about a girl's trip a couple of months after that. Baby will be around 6-8 months.
Friend 3 - did a few days away when child was about 5 months.

[lacey]

DD was between 1 and 2. I honestly can't remember. We definitely left her with my parents right before she turned two, but I thought we did something when she was closer to 15 months old.

DS was about 7 months old.

For both kids I ended up going on work trips when they were 4-5 months old, but DH was there.

[shauni27]

I left S alone with my H for 3 nights when he was like 9 months? I think he was doing overnights at that point with my in laws and once he turned 1 he started doing weekends with them. He LOVES spending time with my in laws, plus the added excitement of them always taking him camping makes him really look forward to it.

He is 2.5 and will be staying with them a week this spring so we can do an adults only vacation. I am a little sad about it, not because I worry for him, but more about me missing him haha.

[ohgillian]

We left DS for 9 days at 14 months. I don't think I left him overnight before then, but I can't remember.

[Susie]

We did this (2 nights, a few hours away) for our 10th anniversary.  That was March 2017, so DD would have been... like 16 months.  She had weaned between 13-14 months.

Like you, I had done overnights (single and multiple) for work trips before that, but 16m was the first time we both left her.  She stayed with MIL & FIL and it went fine.

[icedcoffee]

Jan 23, 2020 12:19:08 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Jan 23, 2020 12:05:03 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

I think the first time we left DS1 was at 10 months with my parents. I was not done nursing and I pumped the whole time. It was for a wedding across the country and we were gone 3 nights. All was fine! I think that was the first time I left him at all (like--I hadn't even left him overnight with my H at that point).

DS2 is 5 months now and we still haven't left him. We'll probably leave him with my parents when he's 13 months for a week. I'll be done nursing. BUT! I plan to leave him at 7 months with my H for 5 nights while still nursing. TBH, I'd leave him now for a night, but no one seems to want to take him. LOL

 

I think part of my hangup is that no one else has ever put DD to bed at night besides me or H.  We've used evening babysitters, but we always put DD to bed ourselves and then the babysitter just stays at the house.  I'm so nervous about her going to bed for anyone else!  We should probably practice that sooner rather than later....

Yeah I think I was nervous about that too, but honestly you just need to rip the band-aid off.  It will be fine!  I left detailed instructions on how I do bedtime.

[BeagleMama]

First time: left DD for one night with my mom at 18 months
Longest time: 5 nights with a combo of grandparents at just over 2 years (our 10th anniversary)

Even now, she's 3.5, I get nervous for us both to leave but a few deep breaths in the car and I'm over it by the time we're having fun.

[sillygoosegirl]

I don't remember when I first DID leave DD for a weekend, but I feel like when I WOULD is basically as soon as someone offered to have her that long.

I pumped on an overnight work trip (1 overnight, 2 full days, back home after bedtime the second day) when she was ~14 months old. I seem to recall that was pretty novel and I was so excited to sleep in a hotel room, so that might have been the very first time I was away from her that long. She was with DH... but I would have been perfectly happy for her to be with my parents by then too, had THEY been okay with it. She didn't STTN yet though, and wouldn't take a bottle at night (which I think means she couldn't have been THAT hungry at night), so while I was confident she'd be okay, it wasn't exactly going to be a fun time for any non-lactating caretaker...

So I guess I wouldn't feel comfortable ASKING anyone to watch her overnight until she was reliably sleeping through the night... or at least taking a bottle at night... not because I was so much concerned it would be bad for DD, as because it just seemed like too much to ask of anyone.

[thebreakfastclub]

We left my son with my mom at 6 months. I never nursed him, and he had been sleeping thru the night for 3 months or so. I had no real feelings about it, other than how nice it was to get away.

[Mrs.flang]

We haven't left them at all, except DD1 when I was giving birth to DD2, but DH stopped home to do bedtime that night and was home by morning.

I feel like my parents would be willing and able to take them for a few nights, and I know they would keep DDs safe, but I have trouble getting over myself in that I don't totally trust them to deal with behavior the way I would want them to and I also feel like both DH and I deal with some internal guilt about never seeming to spend enough "quality" time with DDs. We have never discussed a scenario like this explicitly but I feel like DH would be against it because he'd rather spend time doing something fun with them then take the time for us alone. If I could get over all of that, I'd mostly just want to wait until I wouldn't have to pump!

[mrshandy]

H and I left DS at 22 months to go to a close friend's wedding in Mexico. I'm not sure we would have chosen an international trip at that age, but we really wanted to go. It was amazing! Drinking and chilling poolside gave us a great chance to reconnect.

We left DD overnight for the first time I think around 18 months, but it was a disastrous. We took a little mini vacay but we were both sick most of the time.

When DS was 7 and DD was 4, H and I went Iceland for 9 days for our anniversary and it was an awesome trip!

Go and have a great time is my opinion. H and I need that time with just the two of us. It's important for our marriage and our sanity. Date nights are nice and all, but they're not the same.

[janegold]

We left him for a weekend trip for the first time at 9 months; I was still nursing but winding down. I think I only pumped a couple times when we were away.

Between 1.5y - 2.5y, we've left him for three 10-14 day trips, with a mix of my mom flying in to watch him and MIL, who lives nearby. He goes to full-day daycare every weekday, so it's helped lessen the load on our parents - and B has been fine.  He actually goes to bed much easier with the grandparents than with me; he always has.  Facetime has been a big help for all of us on the longer trips.

[lovesherheels]

DH and I did one night away from our DS when he was about 10.5mths old. We did a full weekend away the weekend after his first birthday for an out of town wedding of two good friends. Both times my mom stayed at our house with DS and our pup. My mom helps us a couple days a week by watching DS for us instead of daycare, so there were some nights ahead of the first trip we asked her to stay a bit later and put him down so it wasn't a shock to him.

It was hard. We asked for pictures all the time and I called multiple times a day to check in, lol. But it was nice for DH and me to have the time together, too.

[pandorica]

I think I'll be comfortable with my parents watching her once I'm done nursing (12-13 months hopefully). I don't think I'd be comfortable with anyone else for a while longer.

[pandorica]

Jan 23, 2020 12:19:08 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Jan 23, 2020 12:05:03 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

I think the first time we left DS1 was at 10 months with my parents. I was not done nursing and I pumped the whole time. It was for a wedding across the country and we were gone 3 nights. All was fine! I think that was the first time I left him at all (like--I hadn't even left him overnight with my H at that point).

DS2 is 5 months now and we still haven't left him. We'll probably leave him with my parents when he's 13 months for a week. I'll be done nursing. BUT! I plan to leave him at 7 months with my H for 5 nights while still nursing. TBH, I'd leave him now for a night, but no one seems to want to take him. LOL

 

I think part of my hangup is that no one else has ever put DD to bed at night besides me or H.  We've used evening babysitters, but we always put DD to bed ourselves and then the babysitter just stays at the house.  I'm so nervous about her going to bed for anyone else!  We should probably practice that sooner rather than later....

This is my biggest concern too!

[melsbels]

We left the twins overnight for the first time when they were 13 months. I’m super close with my family so I have no qualms about leaving them with my parents, or my sister and her fam. We go away for two nights every November for my company Christmas party now. They’re 2.5.

We are leaving them for a week in March so we can go on an adult only vacation. The nice thing is that their routine will not be interrupted in the slightest. My parents are staying at our house and they’ll go to dayhome each day like normal, so I know they’ll be fine. I’m getting nervous about it the closer it gets though lol.

[ECB]

6 months. DH was working and I had a girls weekend scheduled. I think I only did one night- left early Saturday and came home Sunday - because of all the feels!! But my parents did great and DS was happy as a clam.

I remember RACING home - I was soooooo excited to see him. I had missed him terribly.

[corgimom]

20ish months.
I have only spent 1 night away from DD since she was born and that was a few weeks ago. She stayed overnight at my parents as a test-run to see how she'd do if DH and I went away for a weekend... it went totally fine so we're leaving for a long weekend soon. I know it will be fine but I'm going to miss her so much... but DH and I want to try for another this year so this may be out only chance for awhile to get away together!
My parents jumped at the chance to have her for a sleepover and are excited about the weekend together... so apparently it's just me who has the issue letting go!

[Patsy Baloney]

For my DD, my mom took her for an overnight on my birthday, which meant she was about a month and a half. Our first extended away period was when she was 10 months old, and H and I were gone for a week.

DS has spent a handful of nights away since he was born. His earliest weekend being away from us was maybe 3 months? He is a little bit more difficult that DD, and I didn't want to pass off a baby who was waking many times during the night.

I enjoy leaving my kids. That's the best part, lol.

[sdlaura]

Under a year for us for each kid. I can’t remember exact ages for the first two, but we left DS3 with my parents at 9 months for 3 nights while we took the older two kids on a ski trip. He got his first tooth that weekend

I was done BFing them all by 9 months and they were all STTN. 2 nights will be a tiny blip for your child, but feel absolutely amazing and luxurious for the parents to not have to worry about anyone but themselves for that time, IME!

[sunflower17]

We left dd at 18 months for about 4 days.
I have friends that have left their babies very early on. I don’t judge, it’s just what you personally are comfortable with.

[hamster]

C started having sleepovers with grandma when he was like 5 months old. D hasn't only because he wont take a bottle but I am so ready.

I'd be 100% comfortable with this.

[seaturtle]

H and I both travel (separately) for work so we're used to solo parenting while working full time. H does bedtime and thankfully I do more travel. We also go out at nights but prefer for H to put him to bed as part of his normal routine. I was slightly concerned prior to doing a night away at just over 12 months and my ILs took care of DS. And he did great! I kinda wish we took an extra night. If you trust whoever will watch your LO then I wouldn't hesitate to get away.

[gt7301b]

The first time we left DS was when he was 2, but that was just because we don't have any family/friends offering to watch him We are probably going to leave him with my parents overnight again for a day or two this summer. If my parents were local I'd send him over all the time.

I've also gone on multiple week long work trips and left DS with my husband and my husband typically takes DS to his parents' at least once during the year so I can have a peaceful weekend.

[gastro]

I left DS1 for two nights at about 13 months with my mom. I had an international trip and taking him would have been two long haul flights and I would have needed a sitter while I was there so leaving him home seemed like the best option. My mom was around a lot so it was a caregiver he was used to.
I left DS2 at about 13 months for a weekend (one night) for a wedding - again with my mom.
Both kids I left pumped milk as they were both EBF and not huge solids fans even at a year old.
DD1 is 7 months - no plans to leave her anytime soon. She’d probably be fine but now that I have three kids so that’s a lot for anyone to take on.

[Blue Moon]

We left DD with my inlaws for a weekend just prior to 2 to attend a wedding. She had previously spent a few overnights there so I had no qualms and she did great.

DS was a few months over 2 when we left him (and his 4 year old sister) with my parents/inlaws for 3 nights to go away for our 10 year anniversary.

I would have been comfortable leaving either of them as soon as I was done nursing, but we just didn't have anywhere to do in that immediate window.

[beerlover]

We first left DS for one night around 3 months. He stayed at my mom's for the night while we attended a charity gala thing. My mom could've watched him at our place, but she wanted us to be able to get a full night sleep without dealing with him, so we dropped him off at her house. I'm pretty sure she held him on the recliner for most of the night, because he was a terrible sleeper as an infant. Bless that woman.

[amandakisser]

WE left DD1 overnight when she was about 5 months old. I was still nursing and she was still waking up 2-3x/night. I had PPD and DESPERATELY needed a break, so no guilt around that.

DD2 was technically about three days old the first time we left her...but she was in the NICU and I was discharged to go home, so not sure if that counts? After that, she was about 16 months old. She never took a bottle and was still up nursing a couple times a night. Plus, it's harder to ask people to watch a toddler and a baby so we had to wait a bit.

They have sleepovers at their various grandparents' houses at least once a month now. They're 6 and 4.