I’m super bored at work this week and have been planning our summer vacation. It’s my favorite thing to do.
I’ve also signed all the kids up for all the camps and care we will need for the summer. Boom.
Had an actual review at work this week which was a pleasant surprise. And a bigger raise than usual so extra nice. And just found out that there’s an extra pay period this year so they aren’t taking out benefit money from next week’s pay check, so a little extra cash next week, which is extra extra nice!
Thought youngest was doing better in school. Certainly is at home. And teacher emailed today to say he hasn’t been so blah.
And finally, oldest starts math tutoring next week (against her will) and I’m really hoping it helps her. It means we now will be paying $120/week for tutoring though because our middle has math tutoring 2x a week. Why the hell isn’t the school teaching them what they need to know is my big question? Something like 95% of kids are at or above grade level at our school for math which is higher than any school around and yet I have 2 kids in 2 different grades below grade level... and no one seemed all that concerned about my 8th grader. So when I helped her with homework last week and saw how much she didn’t know I was astounded. Then when I told the math teacher she was going to be in tutoring and if she knew anything in particular she needed help with she gave me a list of like 20 things! Why didn’t you say something earlier?!?!
Post by supertrooper1 on Jan 23, 2020 18:20:54 GMT -5
DS's behavior has been tough for me lately. He'll say that he's happy that he's going to his dad's on Fridays and then turn around and say that he'll miss me. He was a space cadet at basketball practice last night and kept having to tell him to pay attention to the coach, which led to pouting on the way home.
I'm trying to balance moving my relationship forward with beau but not moving too fast. It's tricky when we both want to spend all of our time together but yet both still feel like we need to find our own independence.
I'm having a rotten day today. I've done lots of ranting at my computer or lets be honest the state revenue online program. Have had 4 calls with my payroll software tech support and finally got to the bottom of it and they are waiting for the state to approve them for the new e-file requirements and they have no idea if it will happen before the 31st deadline. So I may have to use the nasty revenue online program to actually re-enter all the state forms for all my payroll clients. I'm totally stressing and screaming at the same time. Why roll out a new requirement 6 weeks before year end and then drag your feet approving the software companies. Stupid government!!!
DD had a really great private last night. She is getting the roundoff back-handspring combo figured out! One of the girls who was in her group and moved to level 4 at he beginning of the month watched DD for a few and said that they looked really awesome. Plus I got a group email from the head coach regarding a meet in March which is giving me hope that they are going to let her stay on team. I watched pre-team and DD is way closer in skill level to the rest of the level 3 girls than the girls who just started pre-team.
SOS: DH is getting 3-4 hours each night after he gets off work to be alone at home. He is doing no household chores. I asked him to unload the dishwasher and he told me that he is just too tired after working and he needs to just chill. But I can come home after being gone for 13+ hours and unload dishwasher, prep lunches, eat something, etc. I was so pissed at him last night. I'm hoping I come home to an empty dishwasher tonight when I get in at 8pm with DD.
Post by supertrooper1 on Jan 23, 2020 19:21:31 GMT -5
186momx, I'm sorry. Can you switch to disposable plates and utensils for a while so it's less work for you and maybe he'll get the hint? Anything to make your life easier, especially during tax season. It's too bad he can't get it in his head that he's not pulling his weight.
Post by sandandsea on Jan 23, 2020 19:52:31 GMT -5
FWIW we use disposable plates all the time. It’s so much more convenient and easier to clean up after dinner when we are rushing to get the kids in bed after eating late. Dinner rarely starts before 7 and fighting the kids to go to bed from 8-9 drains us completely so paper plates are amazing.
186momx - I’m sorry that you have no help. DH goes through phases like this and it makes me nuts.
DD1 has been a nightmare for the last couple of weeks. Hours-long tantrums. I’m exhausted. She got a progress report from school that basically said she’s awesome - lowest grade is a 95, super attentive in class, a pleasure... and then she comes home... ugh...
I have one solid client and one more that is like 85% definite. Both will be long term clients - small bits of consistent work after larger projects. I’m excited to start earning my own money again, even if it’s only a little bit.
All the dishes are basically lunch containers and silverware. We haven't even ate dinner at home this week. I went home before going to get DD at practice and unloaded, loaded, and put a frozen lasagna in the oven to eat when I get home after 7 all in 15 minutes why DH watched TV. I guess it is bugging me so much as it isn't hard or time consuming task.
All the dishes are basically lunch containers and silverware. We haven't even ate dinner at home this week. I went home before going to get DD at practice and unloaded, loaded, and put a frozen lasagna in the oven to eat when I get home after 7 all in 15 minutes why DH watched TV. I guess it is bugging me so much as it isn't hard or time consuming task.
Unfortunately, he has learned that you will just do it and there are no consequences if he doesn't. Have you thought about going to a therapist for yourself? I can't remember if you said you were already going or not.
186momx I second the therapy suggestion. And in the meantime if he says he is too tired to unload it after work, suggest that the family can switch it to running the dishwasher overnight and have him unload it before he leaves for work.
I explained to my husband that out of all the (my evening duties without him) homework, agenda signing, chore enforcing, dinner making, daycare bag prepping, instrument practice enforcing, lunch making and on and on and on and on that I had to do after work, I couldn’t add the dishwasher unloading. What would take him 10 mins with no kids takes me 30 mins with all the interruptions and multitasking at that time.
And not having an unloaded dishwasher really creates more chaos in the evening bc then the sink fills up and I lose counter space etc.
H does the dishwasher at 4 am. Thank you marriage therapy. Something had to give.
Oldest DS returned to school Thursday after a week out with the flu. Little DS started symptoms on Monday night and he’s reached his worst point so far Thurs night.
I am down to 1.5 sick days for me and 3 kids until July. I have 3 personal days in my pocket if I need them. I hope DD and I remain healthy.
We split this week, I took Tues/Fri and H took Wed/Thurs.
Ugh campermom that was us last week. Luckily the two boys had it but DH, DD, and I stayed healthy. Fingers crossed for you.
186momx, I know this is a bigger issue than just the dishwasher. In our house, we have a known agreement that neither DH nor I sit down for the evening to relax and watch TV after the kids are in bed until the house has been ‘righted,’ including kitchen cleaned up and there are no dishes in the sink.
Then we start the dishwasher before going to bed. I unload it every morning while on my own and getting myself and the three kids out of the house by 7:45 am (DH leaves for work at 5:15 am). But I’d rather do that than have us come home with the 3 kids and try to get dinner on the table which dirty dishes in the sink or the dishwasher still loaded with clean stuff. When we have a morning babysitter when I travel, they also know to unload the dishwasher.
Yesterday was DS1’s 6th birthday and he was so excited and had a great day. I think one of the reasons I keep having babies is because I love these little kid birthdays and don’t and them to end I had to leave the house at 5 am to fly out to a work meeting, but luckily that meant I was back by the afternoon and we had a fun family night.
I gave a 30 minute speech yesterday on the intersection between the Endangered Species Act and the National Environmental Policy Act. I think I did a really good job. I had a line of people waiting to talk to me afterward, and then got a text from the organizer saying after I left to go to the airport, people were still commenting on how engaging and informative the speech was. That feels good.
My interview is week after next. This was a really great confidence booster as I move into prepping for that.
Last night DH and I had a long talk about what we would accept in terms of an offer. I’m going in hoping they can match my pay, but if they can’t, I’ll still probably go, so long as the pay isn’t too low. This is all assuming I even get an offer.
I was in total disagreement with my supervisor about the what I saw as uneven work load in my staff. I have one that she refused to let help in a program. This program is huge and the 2 people doing it are overwhelmed. The director of the agency said the staff that I suggested needs to pick up the slack. And he was happy to do so. Feeling vindicated here.
Last night, DH was claiming that DS was having trouble with the very, very clingy girl because we didn't let them date when they were young and we are too conservative. I really didn't care if they had a "girlfriend" in 7th grade, but we don't date until 16. I am pretty sure a 7th grade girlfriend that you meet up with ice-skating once and a while wasn't going to give him the life experience to handle a somewhat unbalanced girl who can't take no for an answer.
Post by traveltheworld on Jan 24, 2020 10:31:25 GMT -5
DH has 2 solid leads for permanent positions, fingers crossed that one of them works out.
We got the estimate on DS's orthodontic treatment plan back and it's $2,500. This is "pre-braces" work, so he still may need braces later on. The dentist also mentioned that he grinds his teeth a lot and wants us to take him to see a specialist. Just what I need - another medical issue for DS. *sigh*
traveltheworld, We have our consultation for DD in 2 weeks. Her bite is perfect. She has a very small gap in the front, you can't even notice unless you are looking but it bothers her. I am hoping surely we won't have to pay for a full set of braces for that at $5500. Our insurance only covers $1500. Which is the same rate as it covered 30 years ago when I had braces.
Post by librarychica on Jan 24, 2020 11:30:30 GMT -5
I HAVE FOUND A BABYSITTER (kid sitter?) TO HELP ME MANAGE H’s 25 DAY BUSINESS TRIP! This is such a relief. I really like her. She seems kind and very together and lives ten minutes away so showing up 7am is fine with her. She likes to craft, I hate to craft. Perfect. Take my children and my money please.
rere , Small gaps often close with time too. I had one as a kid, and they decided not to do anything due to cost. It is slightly more spaced than normal right now, but closed itself up in high school/ college due to my other teeth coming. So that might also be an option. If it is slightly larger in adulthood, you can also just get it bonded, and then it looks fine. I just decided that I don't care enough to want to do that.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jan 24, 2020 11:58:47 GMT -5
Yesterday I found out through the grape vine that because of small class sizes prek and kinder could be combined next year and that 2 boys are looking at leaving and my son might 1 of 2 boys in his 7 person class, which therefore might also be combined...I requested a meeting with our head of school, which I had this morning, and started browsing for other schools.
It's probably too late for us to really consider a different school for next year, but it seems irresponsible not to look given the weird classroom situation we find ourselves in. Unfortunately I think our school has gotten so small, that people are starting to leave because they want a larger environment. Not only that, but strange dynamics are starting to appear. DS described the girls in his class as E is the general; R, M and I are the soldiers, and O is the nurse. (O being his best friend who doesn't normally play with the others).
We went to an open house at the local catholic school just so I could see an alternative option with a larger population.
Bottom line, though we won't be rushing to leave this year, but we are going to have to monitor how next year goes and be ready to start visiting schools next October/November if it doesn't work out.
mustardseed2007, I feel like the school stuff is so stressful. I'm sorry that this is happening, and happening possibly too late in the game. I would say that if you liked the other school at all, just apply and see what happens. Many schools (especially Catholic schools) are on a rolling admissions process by this time in the year, and they'll admit as long as they have space.
We are also starting to look at other options, and like you, it's probably too late for next year. DD1 has had so many issues this year, but in general, she's happy. But I'm seeing the limitations of the small school, and I think that both kids need to move sooner than we though. DD2 only has 5 girls in her whole grade, 11 kids total. This is great from a one-on-one learning perspective. But no one really seems interested in cultivating relationships among the kids (DD2 isn't be excluded, I don't think... no one in the class hangs out). So we are working on friendships outside of school through sports and neighborhood stuff.
Then I struggle with what will happen when they're in 2 places. Not a huge issue if DD1 gets into my alma mater in our town, and DD2 is 20 mins away. But a much bigger issue if she doesn't get in, or wants to go to that school with the awesome music program that's 45 minutes away in the opposite direction from DD2...
Ugh. All this to say I hear you, and good luck with everything.
Actually DH was doing better helping as long as I asked him to do specific tasks. Like I had to text him in the afternoon and ask him to unload the dishwasher as it was clean. Then he complained to his therapist I was making him do chores and she told him he didn't have to because he works hard and needs chill time on the weekends and after work which has caused the problem to come back up. I'm going go back to texting him chores each afternoon and see if that helps and update next week. No one needs to sit and watch TV for hours every day.
Post by covergirl82 on Jan 24, 2020 12:51:47 GMT -5
rere, I went to dinner with a few former coworkers I haven't seen in years and we caught up each others' lives. One of the ladies was telling us about her son, who is in 7th grade, and his stage-5-clinger girlfriend, and how she has been trying to slow them down and help her son to see he doesn't need to be so serious about a girl in middle school. (The mom of the girlfriend sounds like she is super-encouraging this relationship, which doesn't help my old coworker.) Apparently the kids at this middle school have set up a "cute couples" IG page and of course, all the middle school couples want to be featured on it. Now I'm terrified for middle school, because I'm solidly team kids-don't-need-significant-others-in-middle-school.
mustardseed2007 , I feel like the school stuff is so stressful. I'm sorry that this is happening, and happening possibly too late in the game. I would say that if you liked the other school at all, just apply and see what happens. Many schools (especially Catholic schools) are on a rolling admissions process by this time in the year, and they'll admit as long as they have space.
We are also starting to look at other options, and like you, it's probably too late for next year. DD1 has had so many issues this year, but in general, she's happy. But I'm seeing the limitations of the small school, and I think that both kids need to move sooner than we though. DD2 only has 5 girls in her whole grade, 11 kids total. This is great from a one-on-one learning perspective. But no one really seems interested in cultivating relationships among the kids (DD2 isn't be excluded, I don't think... no one in the class hangs out). So we are working on friendships outside of school through sports and neighborhood stuff.
Then I struggle with what will happen when they're in 2 places. Not a huge issue if DD1 gets into my alma mater in our town, and DD2 is 20 mins away. But a much bigger issue if she doesn't get in, or wants to go to that school with the awesome music program that's 45 minutes away in the opposite direction from DD2...
Ugh. All this to say I hear you, and good luck with everything.
I think we didn't like the catholic school overall just based on the open house. In order to get to a place where we liked it, we'd have to spend a lot of time there finding out a lot more about programming. There are two other schools I know we would consider, but this isn't something I want to rush into. It's frustrating.
Honestly going to that catholic school made us like where we are even more, but this is truly a crisis year for the school.
rere, I went to dinner with a few former coworkers I haven't seen in years and we caught up each others' lives. One of the ladies was telling us about her son, who is in 7th grade, and his stage-5-clinger girlfriend, and how she has been trying to slow them down and help her son to see he doesn't need to be so serious about a girl in middle school. (The mom of the girlfriend sounds like she is super-encouraging this relationship, which doesn't help my old coworker.) Apparently the kids at this middle school have set up a "cute couples" IG page and of course, all the middle school couples want to be featured on it. Now I'm terrified for middle school, because I'm solidly team kids-don't-need-significant-others-in-middle-school.
I’ve been fighting the good fight with my 8th grader about having a boyfriend in middle school. She had one last school year for almost the entire year. We didn’t let them date, but they still found ways to see each other.... also, the texts were disturbing at times. Now she has a new one. Still aren’t letting her date, but it’s been a few month now. What the hell is with these kids and having long (by middles school standards) relationships? Whatever happened to the normal middle school relationships that lasted like 2-3 weeks, you talked on the phone a few times, maybe held hands at school, maybe a quick peck once or twice? Stop growing up so fast kids! Be very scared of middle school!
MY H left today for about 10 months. I am sad, determined and still not sure reality has set in.
Assuming military. Take care of yourself. I’m sure you know the drill if it’s military. For me the first week was always pretty easy, but then things all went to hell for a few days while we settled into the new normal. After that it was okay, but those weird transition days after the first week always caught me off guard.
MY H left today for about 10 months. I am sad, determined and still not sure reality has set in.
oh my Gosh girl I’m so sorry. @mrsgreeko can both relate I’m sure, if you ever want to PM your feelings I’m here!
As I’m sure you know, each deployment brought new complexities with each new child. Please be kind to yourself, outsource as much as humanely possible and lower your standards/expectations. Carpools. Say no to unnecessary stuff. When people ask what they can do to help-give them actual tasks. “Please return this item to the store.” “Please find a way to get someone to check and fix my smoke detector”