Maternity Leave Planning

[sdlaura]

Did you take any time off before your maternity leave/due date/planned induction or c-section date? If so, how much?

For background - this is a ways off, but I'm starting to think about whether to take any time off before I expect our baby to arrive. With my first three kids, I worked up until I went into labor. With DS2, I had put together a major prospective client onsite meeting for two days past my due date, and I still came in that day. I left the office at like 3 pm and had the baby less than 12 hours later. DD was born on her due date, DS1 was born 12 days early (I think just because it was only 17 months after DD was born, not because I would normally have a baby that early), and DS2 was two days late. So I expect to go relatively close to my due date. I think if I go more than a couple days past, I will probably be induced (both because I have super fast labors - DS2 was born on the floor of the hospital - and because of my age/stillbirth risk).

I have plenty of vacation time and plan to take 3 months of maternity leave, which has me coming back after Labor Day if the baby arrives around his due date. I'll never be able to truly get away and I'm sure I'll participate in calls and meetings during that time.

Baby is due June 9th. I'm thinking of starting my maternity leave (using vacation time) on June 1st (38+6). Another option is just not coming back after Memorial Day weekend (starting leave on 5/26, at exactly 38 weeks). My birthday is the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend and that would be a pretty incredible birthday present to have a couple weeks off with no kids at home. One consideration is that this is my fourth maternity leave with the same employer - will anyone remember how early I went out and question my commitment to work in the long run? It's definitely my last kid.

[hocus2]

Some of this will be dependent on your corporate policy about taking time off before FMLA kicks in. If you can take time off I would go out at week 39 assuming your OB induces at week 41.

With my first I planned to work until I went into labor whenever it was. For my second my plan was be out between weeks 40 and 41 (when I would have been induced) but to work up to 40 weeks or labor which ended up being at week 39. It is a long time ago but I am fairly certain it would have been highly frowned upon to take an extended vacation time before going on FMLA or right afterwards.

[sdlaura]

hocus2 we don’t have FMLA because just under 50 employees in my location. I have a ST disability policy and the firm fully pays the difference in pay for 3 months.

For context, 200 people total at the firm, I’m a partner, been there 12 years, one of the more senior people at the firm so I’m not worried about whether my job will be there when I come back - mostly concerned about what you said about it being frowned upon or not. There are only a handful of women at my level who have had kids so there’s not really a playbook.

[Deleted]

I think this is so dependent on the company. When I had my kids my boss and his bosses couldn’t figure out why I needed more than a couple days off to have a baby, so they definitely would not have been okay with me taking time off before! Haha.

Also, my first was 11 overdue so I’d be too personally concerned that I’d run out of vacation and have to come back to work before the baby came, which would really suck. Sounds like that is less of a concern for you though. And for the record my second came on her due date and my third came 4 days early so it never was an issue again, but I was always prepared for it to happen again!

[sdlaura]

Thanks @mrsgreeko. Our COO in Boston has had two kids in the past few years, so I'll definitely reach out and see what she did.

But yes, that's why I added the part about how I'll be induced if more than a couple days past my due date. I don't think there's much risk of me going out at 38 weeks and not having the baby till 41 or 42 weeks.

[waverly]

With DS, I took a vacation right as I was pregnant like probably week 1 or 2, and didn't realize I was pregnant. I had a high risk pregnancy, so all my leave time was doctor appointments. I had one week bedrest in June. In October, I had the baby 3 weeks early. I took 10 weeks (because boss had complained about a long leave of another manager which he was the one that approved it), and came back part time during Christmas which was a disaster. I decided to do 12 weeks and come back full time right away with DD.

With DD, I was pregnant in April, took a week off in July and then worked right up until the day she was born. Like I worked until 5 pm that night, and she was born at 3 am the next day.

I think people questioning is part of the company culture, and that I cannot answer, but maybe it makes more sense for you to split the difference. Go out one week before, but not 2 weeks before. I know I am at the point now where I wouldn't really care, but back when I was having babies I definitely felt some anger when other people were allowed to have longer leaves, but I wasn't. There were varying reasons why leaves were not uniform for varying reasons some of them legitimate and some of them not or even bordering slightly on illegal.

[sdlaura]

I asked our COO - I told her obviously no hurry on this, but she got back to me right away. She said she took a week off before her first kid. She worked up until the Friday before her scheduled c-section with second kid because she wanted to finish up a big project. She said she'd totally take a week off if I can, work permitting. So I think between her advice and all of yours, 39 weeks sounds reasonable. Thanks!

[sandandsea]

I took 1 week off before my EDD. Both boys were late (3 days and 8 days). When I went on leave the time you took off before started the clock on the time allowed after so I wanted to maximize my post birth leave.

[covergirl82]

sdlaura, glad you got that feedback from your COO. I was going to also say a week before sounds reasonable. At least plan on it and communicate it, so that if you do need to wrap something up that week, hopefully people won't be contacting you about other things.

[mae0111]

I worked up until delivery with both kids (36W and 38.5W). With DD2, I had a couple of early labor issues starting at 35W, so my doctor ordered me off work. I talked him into working from home and he agreed. His big concern was that I wouldn’t make it to the hospital if I went into labor at work (45-60 mins to hospital from work vs 10 from home. Turns out he was right - my water broke at 12:15am while I was sound asleep at home and I delivered at 12:50am.

If you have the option to work from home for a couple of weeks, that would be a great option. My boss let me take it easy, I could lie down while on conference calls here and there, and I maxed out my time post-delivery.

[sillygoosegirl]

A coworker of mine told me when I was pregnant about deciding to take off early, then being put on bedrest (or something medical that would have qualified her for additional STD payout and possibly additional time off work too) if she hadn't been already on PTO leading up to her due date. And then she was also late. So she ended up burning a lot of PTO that she wouldn't have needed to, and spent the time off disabled and unable to be productive or have fun. She urged me to work until I popped, which I did...

I'd maybe take some days off here and there... give your backups the chance to sit in the hot seat and think about the questions they will want to ask you before you are actually gone for 3 months...

[mommyatty]

I worked until delivery both times, but then again I HATED being on maternity leave.

I do like the idea of working from home for a couple of weeks before your due date. That way you could ensure you’re well-set if you know you’re going to have to do some work while on maternity leave. Plus omg getting dressed those last couple of weeks and making my hair look nice and putting on makeup was just a lot. I would have been more productive on my couch with my laptop and without constricting clothing.

[twinmomma]

I'm all about working from home, even just a few days a week, leading up to maternity leave. I had to because I was put on modified bed rest around 30 weeks, but it made a world of difference to be able to lay out on the couch or my bed and work from a laptop and hop on calls from home instead of trying to commute into an office once I reached the hugely pregnant stage. I ended actually being on a conference call while in early labor because I was just at home and able to handle it. Never could have worked that long if I was in the office.

I think taking the full week off prior to your due date is a good compromise too. Gives you a week to "relax" without any work obligations, instead of being expected to be on right up until the last second.

[madringal]

With my first two I worked for a large company that gave me 12 weeks fully paid maternity leave. I had 4 weeks vacation too that I could use on either end if i wanted too.

With DD1 - I worked up until delivery, took my 12 weeks and came back
With DD2 - I was due Dec. 30, so I took vacation starting Christmas assuming I'd have her by New Years and then start my maternity leave. When I was still very pregnant on Jan.3, I thought briefly about going back to work, but decided to just keep taking vacation days until I had her. She was born Jan. 5.
With DD3 - I was a SAHM by then. Went back to work after she turned 2.