I went to go to bed about an hour ago and my DS13 who is not sleeping well through this said “mom, I feel dead inside”. I said we’d bake muffins tomorrow and go for a walk but I can’t make up for the friends he’s missing or school of his pos father who has spent a total of 3 hours with the kids the past week despite having been laid off and is home hanging out with his girlfriend.
I need a break and need to be stronger for my kids.
My 7 month old who has been sleeping 7-7 for months now has decided NOW is the time to start waking up at 5:30. Wtf. I am so so tired. I just want to slee after dealing with them and trying to work all day. I am so frustrated.
Why does my 4 year old wake up every night in the middle of the night and call for me? One night we needed to fix her sheets. Last night she had dropped her stuffy from the bed. I’m exhausted bc I could fall back asleep after today’s 3:30am call.
sonrisa, they're all just so freaking tone-deaf. This is not a vacation. Sure, it's important to find moments of joy and connect with people in all of this, but the whole "just chill and enjoy the time with your family!" attitude just completely discounts anyone who is now struggling because of job insecurity, childcare, health, and on and on. And that's before acknowledging how fundamentally this is going to change lives in the future. No one is going to be looking back on this time fondly.
Post by wildfloweragain on Mar 24, 2020 7:08:45 GMT -5
Just a vent today: I'm a teacher and spend the whole day working still. Supporting students and parents, sending out videos, dealing with a LOT of tech issues. Our superintendent pretty much just sent an email that said pretty soon we have to get off our asses and do some online teaching of new instruction. It drove up my anxiety. Not that I don't think we can or should be teaching new material, but this demand for more, more, more. Especially when he knows we keep asking for tech support and they ask us to calm down because none of it is working and they know already. It was just poor timing.
And they keep saying get out for a walk, take time for you, etc. There will be ONE good timeframe to get outside in the forecast - Thursday morning. Guess when we now have a scheduled grade level meeting - you guessed it. I had been going to take the kids for a hike since they are expected to log 60 minutes of P.E. every day.
The superintendent expects us to work the same hours we always have. Yep, we are...day and night and even more weekend time than before. Parents who have to work need us to be available on the weekends because that's when they are trying to catch up on everything I send out.
Does anyone else feel like they are raising total brats?
DS1 is 4 (nearly 5). Yesterday, I let him walk over to an open space with me so I could do a workout. He almost immediately started complaining because he couldn’t “beat me” while I was doing sprints.
When I was done with my workout, I sat down with him and explained that I work hard all day (like he has to do his school workbook that he doesn’t love to do) and take care of them and that the only time I get to do something I want to do (like he wants to ride his bike) is this one thing and that he’s ruining it by complaining. How does he respond? That this isn’t very much fun for him either because I’m “yelling” (I wasn’t) at him. OMG YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD!
We had another talk about it and I think it sunk in a little more, but I’m doing my workouts solo from here on. I need to get the fuck away from my children.
Also joining those of you who are sick of the memes and people saying to enjoy this time. This time fucking sucks. And I dislike my kids because I literally spend 24/7 with them and can’t get away. There is literally nothing about this time that is worth savoring.
That really sucks wildfloweragain, What grade do you teach? I feel like my kids' first grade teachers expect more from parents than I can give right now. I'm not asking any questions of them. My middle schooler's teachers are available online but more for kids to ask questions. I wouldn't bug any teachers on the weekends so I'm sorry your students' parents are bugging you.
H's company determined that his department is essential but to keep social distancing they are reducing the # of staff each day. He will only be going to work 2 days a week (one of them will be Saturdays). The good news is he can make sure the younger kids actually do a couple hours of school work/educational stuff per day. The bad news is that it will be a decrease in pay. He doesn't get many paid days off, but he will stretch them so he's getting 60% of his pay for a month.
isabel you are not raising a brat, you just have a 4 year old, which is incredibly frustrating during the best of times. This is typical kid behavior during freakish times.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Mar 24, 2020 7:51:23 GMT -5
All things considered, with older kids, I have it easy.
But they are still annoying the crap out of me.
H has a coworker who lives alone and is really bored. H was feeling sorry for his sad noted co-worker. I was not amused by this story. I offered to donate our children to him. H thought that would be traumatic for everyone involved.
Maybe I'm tone deaf, but I don't find myself with oodles of time on my hands as these memes are implying. I am still working 8+ hours and still have the normal kid things to do "after" work. I find myself with the same 2 hours to myself I always did before the quarantine. Am I missing something? I haven't had time to craft or read books I guess.
And I'm super annoyed at our neighbors...I can see their house from my office and they are coming and going all day. I said to H the other day, where are they going? How many times a day can one go to a grocery store? I guess he said hi to them from afar yesterday and she said "I am so bored I have to get out of the house. I just go to the store to do something." RAGE.
Same vent here - I'm still working full-time from home so there is no baking, hiking or hanging out with the kids much. I gave them last week off since I had a sinus infection. I'm feeling better and made them do school work and it was torture for all of us. Supposedly, there will be an announcement regarding schools today.
Maybe I'm tone deaf, but I don't find myself with oodles of time on my hands as these memes are implying. I am still working 8+ hours and still have the normal kid things to do "after" work. I find myself with the same 2 hours to myself I always did before the quarantine. Am I missing something? I haven't had time to craft or read books I guess.
And I'm super annoyed at our neighbors...I can see their house from my office and they are coming and going all day. I said to H the other day, where are they going? How many times a day can one go to a grocery store? I guess he said hi to them from afar yesterday and she said "I am so bored I have to get out of the house. I just go to the store to do something." RAGE.
Same. It somehow actually feels worse because instead of spending an hour and a half commuting, I get up early, work until at least an hour after I normally quit, and then, as you said, go do all the normal stuff I have to do after work, like unload and load the dishwasher. I'm getting less done at work even though I'm working longer hours because I'm back and forth with a 2 and 4 year old all day, I'm hanging on by thread with dealing with them, they're bored and want to go on walks and stuff, which I truly cannot do, as I'm working on a major deadline this week. I feel like I'm kind of failing in all areas of my life right now, so that's cool.
isabel you are not raising a brat, you just have a 4 year old, which is incredibly frustrating during the best of times. This is typical kid behavior during freakish times.
Thank you. I'm just really struggling with it. I think I also have higher expectations of him than are fair because he's a really empathetic kid, so I feel like he should understand this stuff even though realistically he's not mature enough to do so.
Maybe I'm tone deaf, but I don't find myself with oodles of time on my hands as these memes are implying. I am still working 8+ hours and still have the normal kid things to do "after" work. I find myself with the same 2 hours to myself I always did before the quarantine. Am I missing something? I haven't had time to craft or read books I guess.
And I'm super annoyed at our neighbors...I can see their house from my office and they are coming and going all day. I said to H the other day, where are they going? How many times a day can one go to a grocery store? I guess he said hi to them from afar yesterday and she said "I am so bored I have to get out of the house. I just go to the store to do something." RAGE.
Same. It somehow actually feels worse because instead of spending an hour and a half commuting, I get up early, work until at least an hour after I normally quit, and then, as you said, go do all the normal stuff I have to do after work, like unload and load the dishwasher. I'm getting less done at work even though I'm working longer hours because I'm back and forth with a 2 and 4 year old all day, I'm hanging on by thread with dealing with them, they're bored and want to go on walks and stuff, which I truly cannot do, as I'm working on a major deadline this week. I feel like I'm kind of failing in all areas of my life right now, so that's cool.
I’m just here to commiserate. Of course parents don’t have more time now. Our nanny’s husband was exposed so I am here with a full time job and two 14 month olds. They’ve recently discovered that hitting each other is funny. Yesterday they drug tiny sized chairs back and forth on my kitchen tile repeatedly while I was on a call. The screeching from the chairs made it impossible to hear anything. It is not going great.
That really sucks wildfloweragain , What grade do you teach? I feel like my kids' first grade teachers expect more from parents than I can give right now. I'm not asking any questions of them. My middle schooler's teachers are available online but more for kids to ask questions. I wouldn't bug any teachers on the weekends so I'm sorry your students' parents are bugging you.
H's company determined that his department is essential but to keep social distancing they are reducing the # of staff each day. He will only be going to work 2 days a week (one of them will be Saturdays). The good news is he can make sure the younger kids actually do a couple hours of school work/educational stuff per day. The bad news is that it will be a decrease in pay. He doesn't get many paid days off, but he will stretch them so he's getting 60% of his pay for a month.
No, they're not bugging me, this is the only time they have and they need help. I'm telling them not to worry about bothering me, that this is my actual job. I'm frustrated that my superintendent can't see how much we are working and is expecting more. I think he is worried we will seem like we have it too easy. I teach Kindergarten and I differentiate for each child, depending on needs.
Just here to commiserate with those who fee like they’re failing at everything. It’s rough. I tried to do a little “lesson” yesterday, and dd was not having it. No interest at all, throwing paper on the floor.
I am going to take her on a hike at lunchtime. We went Saturday, and it was really good for her. But I’m lucky that the trail is 10 minutes away, and I can take an hour for lunch.
Post by gerberdaisy on Mar 24, 2020 8:37:12 GMT -5
DS (2.5) has basically stopped sleeping. He went from 11 hours a night plus a 2 hour nap, to not falling asleep till after 9, waking up at 5 and nap being a struggle. I get that its not the same amount of stimulation as daycare and being around tons of people all day, but this is awful. DD (5.5) has been really good though, very helpful with everything, so thankful for her right now.
I need alone time so badly. H has been awful, sleeps in every morning, then yells as the kids to clean, hasn't played with them once, works all day (at home) then stays up till 2 am every night. Hes starting every project he can think of, which is just creating tension because he wants to throw everything away. Hes really stressed about this, doesn't handle lack of interaction well anyways, but I cannot deal with this.
Oh and of course I have a bad cold (hoping a cold), feel like crap and don't want to do anything, let alone everything. I just want to watch my own show, not mickey mouse, not elena of avalor, not wicked tuna, just my own crappy tv.
Yesterday someone in my FB feed posted their/their kids detailed schedules in colored inks with cutesy comments and I wanted to scream. Can we NOT Pinterest the pandemic?! Can we just not?! DD2 has already missed three online video check-ins with her class because I thought they started this week instead of last week, and I feel terrible. They were optional, but now the school is cutting the video check-ins off entirely and I'm sad that she didn't even get to see her classmates at ALL. I understand why, because of equity issues and because when DD1's theater after-school activity tried to move online, there were all kinds of rules about video sessions -- the link couldn't be posted online where anyone could access it, everyone had to be fully clothed (no shirtless boys) and not in their bedroom, have "obvious parental supervision", and a bunch of other details. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before reports start surfacing of men exposing themselves to Zoom rooms full of their kids' classmates, because people are awful.
I am already starting to feel like I am doing nothing well. I'm having a hard time focusing at work -- everything and nothing feels more important than work right now -- I'm all over the place with the kids' stuff, and I have to find time to keep up with a heavier load of housework since my cleaners aren't going to be rescuing me every other week. Plus I would like to actually sit down, get out the sewing machine that my mom got my kids for Christmas and sew some masks for my sister, and bake some things like bread and make tortillas so we can avoid some store trips. DH's company has contracts that fall under "essential," so they are open at this point and have at least a chance of surviving this thing. He expects to start doing more WFH this week and that might help with the kids and housework, but OTOH it's going to throw my routine off even more to have him home.
On the upside, I guess, our food waste is way down. We had pot roast on Sunday and yesterday I used the leftover meat plus some frozen veggies and slightly wrinkly potatoes for beef stew. However, with the reality of us all being home more, I am figuring out where the holes were in my planning/shopping. My kids seem to be hungry ALL the time. We are eating all meals home and on our own dishes (even when we get take-out, I make sure that I get the food out ASAP and throw the containers out), so we are going through dishwasher pods way faster than usual.
My heart hurts when I see these stupid memes about “and then the people got quiet, they stayed in and they read together, they cooked together.......”
What about the people who can’t cook together because they can’t afford food? Or couldn’t afford a $400 pandemic stock up session and now grocery shelves are empty?
What about the people who lost their jobs and have money concerns?
What about the people in quarantine with an abuser?
What about the people with cancer, compromised immune systems or even actually have Covid 19?
What about healthcare professionals or those married to healthcare professionals and first responders? Think they are just relaxing?
Kids without computers and internet connections? How are they going to learn? Kids who relied on school for a hot meal?
I could go on and on. I feel terrible for so many people my heart hurts. The only memes I want to see are the ones that say “STAY THE FUCK INSIDE”.
Maybe I'm tone deaf, but I don't find myself with oodles of time on my hands as these memes are implying. I am still working 8+ hours and still have the normal kid things to do "after" work. I find myself with the same 2 hours to myself I always did before the quarantine. Am I missing something? I haven't had time to craft or read books I guess.
And I'm super annoyed at our neighbors...I can see their house from my office and they are coming and going all day. I said to H the other day, where are they going? How many times a day can one go to a grocery store? I guess he said hi to them from afar yesterday and she said "I am so bored I have to get out of the house. I just go to the store to do something." RAGE.
Same. It somehow actually feels worse because instead of spending an hour and a half commuting, I get up early, work until at least an hour after I normally quit, and then, as you said, go do all the normal stuff I have to do after work, like unload and load the dishwasher. I'm getting less done at work even though I'm working longer hours because I'm back and forth with a 2 and 4 year old all day, I'm hanging on by thread with dealing with them, they're bored and want to go on walks and stuff, which I truly cannot do, as I'm working on a major deadline this week. I feel like I'm kind of failing in all areas of my life right now, so that's cool.
All of this. Every time I see one of these I wonder what the hell it is I seem to be missing. Work is a shit show. My kid is a shit show. My house is a shit show. The country at large is a shit show. There is no “relax and enjoy this time.”
DS1 now thinks we’re all going to die (together) because last night at dinner DH wanted to talk about finances and canceling various things including summer camp because he’s worried about his job and then he started talking about another Great Depression and I couldn’t handle it and started yelling for him to stop and it all ended badly and now I have to tell ds1 when he wakes up that he misinterpreted our argument and reassure him that we are not going to die. I’m so sad that my kids saw that argument and I’m just so sad about everything. I’ve got to do better today.
I’ve got what is considered an essential job. I’ve been mostly working from home, but I’m going into the office today for a few hours, and although I want to work from home to minimize the exposure risk for my family I’m kind of excited to be getting out of here for a little while.
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
DD2 had her first zoom lesson yesterday with her teacher and a small group of students. It’s was 2 hours long and it was so great to hear them all chattering away in Spanish. Our district is only doing optional education activities until after our spring break (4/6), so I was surprised by the zoom call. It was really good for her mental health. I’ve been really impressed with our district’s response to the pandemic- they have handled this far better than anything else we have ever done.
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
Post by Velar Fricative on Mar 24, 2020 9:40:13 GMT -5
All I keep telling myself is that in the long run, several months of this is a very short time and as long as we're doing our best, we'll be fine. This is why I don't care about screen time, countless snacks, etc. We'll be fine. We just have to get through this hard period.
DD2's daycare is still open, because obviously childcare centers are considered essential businesses. I'm so tempted to send her after we feel comfortable that we're no longer exposed because I feel so bad that she's getting ignored when we're focused on our WFH and DD1's e-learning. She always talks about her friends and teachers at daycare even though she's only 2yo. I'd love to get her back into her routine but then I tell myself that that's nuts considering we live in the US epicenter of coronavirus. I'm thinking of paying full price the month of April so we have that flexibility but I'm so torn.
Post by goldengirlz on Mar 24, 2020 10:28:44 GMT -5
This is what’s breaking my heart today:
Every morning at around 8:40am, my only child sits down in front of the computer waiting for her 9am Zoom lessons to start. Even though I always tell her it takes only a minute to load, no need to get there twenty minutes early, she is insistent.