Disclaimer: I taught in a state with a strong union and was tenured. It was basically impossible to fire a teacher unless they were doing something illegal.
I SAH now with a 3 year old and an 21 month old. H and I have discussed what we would do if I still worked. We would keep the girls home with me and I would do the best I could but honestly teaching wouldn’t be my number one priority, the girls would be. I’m sure they would be popping up in videos if I had to do them and my response time would be delayed. I’d have to do some work on weekends and at night but it would just be what it would be. And honestly from Facebook that seems to be what my teacher friends are doing.
This would be different if I had been at any risk of losing my job.
So H is in the public school system in the major city in our state. It is the highest paying public school system local to us. There is no union here, unfortunately, so he could potentially lose his job. He’s been required to teach live several times each week and also attend several meetings with video conferences. The thing is, it’s not a regular schedule at this point because a lot of decisions haven’t been made by the school district. So it’s like hey tomorrow at 12 there’s a meeting etc. and he also has to be available at certain times. Our daycare is open to whatever families need it, they do not require both parents to be essential workers. There are much less students at this point though. I’m still paying for my toddler, but not yet my newborn. They said they’ll still have her spot available if we delay her start date due to this situation. ETA vamoose
Ugh. Look, I should say the kids stay home. That is the safest route for both yourself and everyone you interact with. But, real talk, I would probably send them to daycare at least part time. I mean, maybe if you have a super easy newborn and a three year old that is compliant and will be distracted by an iPad then keep them home and make it work. But... I don’t know. I just don’t see my husband balancing a toddler and newborn alone while working full time at home. A toddler and a newborn is a lot to manage. Maybe he can do all of the work that he can do on his own time on the weekends and evenings and then try to plan his live teaching days to coincide with meeting says as much as possible to minimize daycare days? Or only do one live meeting per day and keep them home and that is the special iPad and cookies hour for the three year old? And he may just have to put the baby in a carrier and walk around during his video meetings or whatever?
Ugghhh. There is no great option. Im sorry. Those ages are very difficult.
I have a friend in almost the exact situation. They moved a college student into their basement because they wanted to ensure she was following stay home/stay safe. The college student likes the arrangement because 1) she’s getting paid more and 2) she wanted out of her parents’ house.
Post by purplepenguin7 on Apr 4, 2020 16:58:07 GMT -5
I’m sorry you are in this situation. This is definitely a case where there is no “right” answer. I think I’d look into a nanny that lives alone and is diligent about social distancing and self isolating except for to and from your house. Maybe even make an arrangement where they grocery shop for your home and theirs at the same time (with pay of course) to minimize exposure as much as possible.
Also, I feel like a lot people would have different answers if this were reverse. I really don’t think it’s possible for any one person to hold a full time job and care for a 12 week old and a 2 year old as many seem to be suggesting your H do.
Also, I feel like a lot people would have different answers if this were reverse. I really don’t think it’s possible for any one person to hold a full time job and care for a 12 week old and a 2 year old as many seem to be suggesting your H do.
Yep. People have forgotten what that stage is like, IMO.
Also, I feel like a lot people would have different answers if this were reverse. I really don’t think it’s possible for any one person to hold a full time job and care for a 12 week old and a 2 year old as many seem to be suggesting your H do.
Yeah, I’m really chafing at that suggestion. Both OP and her H are essential (at least in my state educators are essential) and there’s a reason daycares are allowed to stay open for essential workers. People are treating this like the social distancing Olympics, but part of the point of social distancing is to reduce risk for those who can’t distance as much, including essential workers and their families.
OP, I’m sorry you are in this position, it is hard. If you really want to avoid daycare, your H is almost certainly eligible for FMLA due to the birth of the baby. But I think daycare is also a reasonable option.
I’m really chafing at that suggestion. Both OP and her H are essential (at least in my state educators are essential) and there’s a reason daycares are allowed to stay open for essential workers.
Exactly. Daycares are open for this exact purpose.
OP, you have enough stress in your plate. Do what works for your family. We (the American people) need you healthy and focused!
Disclaimer: I taught in a state with a strong union and was tenured. It was basically impossible to fire a teacher unless they were doing something illegal.
I SAH now with a 3 year old and an 21 month old. H and I have discussed what we would do if I still worked. We would keep the girls home with me and I would do the best I could but honestly teaching wouldn’t be my number one priority, the girls would be. I’m sure they would be popping up in videos if I had to do them and my response time would be delayed. I’d have to do some work on weekends and at night but it would just be what it would be. And honestly from Facebook that seems to be what my teacher friends are doing.
This would be different if I had been at any risk of losing my job.
So H is in the public school system in the major city in our state. It is the highest paying public school system local to us. There is no union here, unfortunately, so he could potentially lose his job. He’s been required to teach live several times each week and also attend several meetings with video conferences. The thing is, it’s not a regular schedule at this point because a lot of decisions haven’t been made by the school district. So it’s like hey tomorrow at 12 there’s a meeting etc. and he also has to be available at certain times. Our daycare is open to whatever families need it, they do not require both parents to be essential workers. There are much less students at this point though. I’m still paying for my toddler, but not yet my newborn. They said they’ll still have her spot available if we delay her start date due to this situation. ETA vamoose
So I’m with everyone who says do what works for you and of course he can’t teach and watch the kids. Since *I* would want to explore all options, I’ll throw this out there. I have no idea if it’s doable in your case. Am I understanding that you will be working 4 days a week when you go back? Could he do all of his planning , grading (which has taken On a whole different meaning), follow-up with students and parents, etc — basically all the non-teaching-in-front-of-the-class tasks on those three days and the just juggle the actual live teaching and meetings with the two kids on the days you are working? He could probably do ipad time with the 2 yo and wear the baby for his teaching (depending how long/how frequent). And the meetings would be easier because everyone (at my school anyway) has been very understanding of teachers at home with little kids. Also, fwiw, the parents in my circle have been super supportive of their kids’ teachers in these circumstances.
How many kids are left at daycare? Ours dwindled quickly by mid March when the public schools started to closed. By Monday, March 16, it was less than half the kids in DD's and DS's classes.
I would send them to daycare. I trust the daycare more than college kids looking for work. The ones that are still open for essential workers here are under serious scrutiny right now and are not going to chance anything going wrong. I went through a horrible nanny situation when DS was a tiny baby and I can't fathom trusting anyone right now that I don't already know. There is no way your husband is going to get any work stuff done with the kids being so young.
Post by statlerwaldorf on Apr 4, 2020 23:42:48 GMT -5
Are you able to get pandemic care? I had to have a letter from both parents’ employers jstating we work outside of the home. People who work from home were not eligible for pandemic care.
I would send the toddler or have your mom come. I would lean towards mom if you are a healthcare worker/in a role with significant exposure to the public right now.
I’m in healthcare and our area is expected to have an increase in cases within the next few weeks. For this reason they’re putting us 2 weeks patient facing with more and longer hours than usual and 2 weeks “virtual”, but still in the building. The hours during “virtual week” will be a bit less.
I actually would NOT have your mom come. If you are potentially exposed due to being in healthcare, anyone in your house is potentially exposed. A 68-year-old, even in good general health, is at elevated risk.
I like the idea of trying to find a temporary nanny who is isolating except for coming to your house. Or if you have enough room for your mom to stay with you, you could even have the person live in. This could be a good opportunity for a laid off childcare worker or a college student, especially if you husband can share some of the daytime duties with the nanny so they can also do some of their virtual housework.
Also I’m sure you already have this planned for, but make sure you have a plan to change your clothes and shower as soon as you get home.
ETA: if the temporary nanny option is not a possibility, I think you should send to daycare. Take as many precautions as possible, but I assume you’ll be doing that anyway because you’ll be working. As someone mentioned, one of the goals here is to reduce risk. Our daycare has some spots available for nonessential families, but H and I aren’t using it because as hard as it is, we CAN manage having her at home. So we want to leave the spots for essential families.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Apr 5, 2020 10:11:47 GMT -5
I would send the older kid to daycare. I have friends in similar situations, and that is the choice they are making as well. The daycares in my city (southern California) are only accepting kids in similar situations, have low numbers, are upping cleaning, and are generally having less transitions. They basically have created a bubble with these stable kids. Is it ideal, no - but none of this is ideal and we are all doing what we need to do to get through it.