Week 4 Open Letters

[k3am]

The days have all blended together...

[k3am]

Dear economy,

Based on the packages scheduled to arrive today, I'm doing my part to keep the you going. I don't even remember ordering stamps, I have no idea what's coming from Amazon, I don't know what PSI Systems is, but that's arriving today too. It's kind of like Christmas.

Signed,
Self

PS: It doesn't help that things are taking 2+ weeks to get delivered. I have the mind of a goldfish.

[supertrooper1]

Dear beau,
I'm a logical problem solver, so when I see that you're still grieving I feel the need to fix it. I could see it all over your face last night when you went from fine to something triggering sadness. It's fine that you don't want to talk but please don't shut me out.
Signed,
Your loving GF

Dear next week,
Monday is the start of distance learning and I'm nervous that it's going to be a shit show. It's been hard enough keeping DS on task with my own learning material while working. Please go easy on us.
Signed,
Single working mom

Dear sunshine,
Please stick around.
Signed,
SAD

[186momx]

Dear Clients
Will you just chill out or at least be nice on the phone. I'm sorry the virus has our office closed and you can't come see us. We all need to do our part with this social disitancing.
Tax lady who dreads going to work

Dear School District
The packet you mailed us for an entire week of paper distance learning will be done in 1 day by DD. DD decided to just get it over with so she could go back to mommy school that is actually interesting (DD words) and still is insisting she wants to finish the school year at Hogwarts.
Mommy who has got this mommy school down I guess

[covergirl82]

Dear small town where our family cottage is,

Thank you for running gift card specials to stimulate the local economy and support businesses. I'm happy to buy some gift cards to support our favorite restaurants and small businesses!

Signed,
You're what I consider my second hometown

[rere]

Dear world,

WTF day is it? They are all blending together. At my kichen table. Working.

Signed. Seriously WTF day is it.

Dear Dh,

I realize you don't want to get your allergy shot. However if you keep snoring, I'm getting my own room.

Signed wife

Dear travel agent,

Where's my money. It's been over 3 weeks. I realize they are busy, but I canceled before it really got the fan.

Signed I used and agent and got insurance for a reason.

[186momx]

Dear Governor
Thanks for just making the decision to close school for the rest of the year. At least we the parents and teachers are not in limbo anymore.
Homeschool/distance learning is the new thing

[librarychica]

rere, I spent most the day thinking it was Tuesday. My best friend thought it was Thursday for a good chunk. And my husband, who teased me about how I thought it was Tuesday, nearly forgot to take out the garbage because between this morning and now he forgot it was Wednesday.

[mommyatty]

Dear PITA Employee:

I’m glad you handled your come to Jesus meeting this morning well. But acknowledging that you suck at taking constructive criticism and saying you could use help with that is, uh, going to require that I constructively criticize you. You get that, right?

Your Boss, Who Just Told You Not to Email Our VP 12 Times a Day and Didn’t Deserve Your Freakout

[divanerd]

Dear Week,
Thanks for being easy on me.
Signed
Grateful WM

[phdmomma]

Dear DH,
You are right, it is all starting to feel like the movie groundhog day.
Signed,
Is it time for the groundhog to start driving the truck?

Dear Kids,
I'm sorry that I can't play with you. I just have to get some work done everyday, while keeping you alive and educating you.
Signed,
I am just so tired

Dear DD's teachers,
Please stop posting links for us to follow which are not hyperlinks. They don't work on the ipad.
Signed,
barely hanging on as it is

[twinmomma]

Dear Self,
Yes, you messed up at work. You shouldn't have sent that email out yet, as it wasn't wrapped up internally. I know you're just trying to feel like you actually accomplished a project right now and want the trip clean up to be done and over with. But get your head in the game. You are a disaster with managing your workload right now and need to figure out how to keep yourself organized. Hopefully no one gets too upset.
Signed,
Get your act together

Dear WP,
DD1 had no fever all afternoon yesterday! With no meds! I think we're past it!
Signed,
Thanks for the support

Dear beau,
Just come stay here when the kids aren't around. Enough of all this back and forth. My house is bigger than your apartment, I have two bathrooms, a porch we can sit on, a yard, and my home office is here. We switch between my house and your apartment all the time anyway. The only thing your apartment has going for it is a king size bed. (That does kind of feel like a deal breaker, I'll be honest. A king size bed is pretty great. But whatever.) Get a bunch of stuff together to leave here and just live here on our off days. Just because I'm not ready to move in together with all three kids doesn't mean I don't want to live with you when they're not around! Think of it like a practice run.
Signed,
Leave the bachelor pad for my cozy house

[erinshelley21]

Dear kids,
Please try to not be nosy when the package with your Easter stuff arrives. Your dad isn't here to distract you.
Love, your mom who is still trying to keep holiday magic alive

[mellym]

Dear DH,

It's your birthday and Easter on Sunday and I'm scrambling to try to make both special. I understand you're like a little kid about your birthday but you need to get over the fact that we can't go out and it's going to be cold and snowing. We will still be together and make it a fun day. Also, answer the damn question if you want a ham dinner or something else.

It's also our nephew's birthday on Sunday so we are planning a present drop off and parade for him.

My head is going to explode trying to do all three in one day.

[k3am]

Dear Boss,

This is not business as usual. I am WFH. With two kids. I do NOT have time/energy/mental fortitude to work on long shot deals. I don't think we have the appetite to do crazy deals that are NOT in policy. Please don't ask me to waste what little time I have on a deal before you've even had a discussion with the powers that be to get a blessing on them.

Signed,
Would quit if I could

[k3am]

Also,

Dear Work,

I know we operate in the dark ages. SIP has forced us to dip our toes into the digital age. How about we go in knee deep? Maybe docusign? Because having to go into the office weekly to retrieve original signed docs is a PITA.

Signed,
Dreaming.

[186momx]

Dear WPs
I wish I could go for long walks in the sunshine, bake, and do crafts with my DD but I'm not able to and it makes me sad. I'm so mentally tired and I feel like DD and my relationship is getting worse each day. Trying to wearing so many hats all at once isn't going be sustainable for much longer. I can't even put a chair out our front door to let DD read in the sun because the city plopped a homeless camp across the street from my office and we are dealing with the mess and crap from that on a daily basis too.
tired and upset
working momma

k3am,we have that and can't seem to get our clients to be able to use it so snail mail it is.

[twinmomma]

Dear WPs,
Beau showed up this morning to do all my chores for me. He just did all my dishes (that have piled up an embarrassing amount over the past couple days due to my broken dishwasher), scrubbed the floor, and cleaned every surface in the kitchen. I'm caught between totally appreciative and totally mortified that he now knows what a truly terrible housekeeper I am. He's now offered to move on to folding my mountain of laundry.
Signed,
What is happening?!

[twinmomma]

186momx, I feel like the only people doing that on a regular basis are people that were stay at home moms already. I cook with my kids because we need to eat, so I've tried to make it into an "activity" that the kids can help with. But we are definitely not Brady Bunching it up over here. I allow more and more screen time every day just to make it through. Whatever you are able to offer her, it's enough right now.

[mae0111]

186momx , I hear you. DD1's neediness is increasing by the day. We can't do the fun baking things because we have no kitchen, and I'm so worn out from juggling school for both kids, Zoom calls for both, contractor requests, my own clients, and just every day things, I have nothing left. DD1 needs so much help lately - not with her academics, but with everything else you can think of. She refuses to brush her teeth, and has essentially ruined them. I found quite literally hundreds of hard candy and cough drop wrappers under her bed today. She refuses to shower. She can't seem to keep herself organized, but is resentful and angry if I try to help.

She also seems to lack boundaries at home that I know she can exercise at school. So when I'm on a call, or helping her sister, or speaking to the contractor, she will stand and stare, or continuously interrupt, or both until I either explode or give her what she wants. She doesn't seem to get that she needs to stay out of the contractor's way, even though that's VERY easy to do. I checked in regularly with her teachers, and none of this seemed to be an issue at school.

So... we are worn out for very different reasons, but the end result is the same. I feel like a crap mom and a crap wife and a crap consultant.

[sandandsea]

Dear WP,

I need to vent.

I need a beau and a SAHM.

I can’t keep up. Ds1 needs help with all his homework (he’s 8. It’s fair) and we are both still working way more than 40 hours. Both kids are getting enormous amounts of screen time. My firm laid off some and gave everyone a 10% temporary pay cut with no reduction to expectations or hours (those have increased actually). Cooking 5.28 million meals a week is exhausting. The house is a mess. Laundry is piled up. My dad went into a-fib again and had to be shocked twice yesterday. (He’s okay now) Dh hasn’t taken the empty amazon boxes to the garage so they’re piled up in the living room irritating me (I refuse to do it on principle). And all of the stay at home moms are trying to get more mandatory schoolwork, schedule zoom play dates earlier in the day (because 5 is too late), and it’s always more more more. It’s draining and I am super high capacity and I feel overwhelmed.

It’s just too much. I want to Netflix and sleep.

Then I feel super guilty for complaining because we are healthy, still have jobs, we have each other, we have food, and others have it soooo much worse. I know we are super fortunate.

Thanks for letting me get it out!

Signed,
Tired and trying to count my blessings

[mae0111]

Dear sandandsea,

You're doing your best and everyone knows. I don't know how you're all doing it. It's all so much. You have a right to complain. Thinking about how you can't because others have it worse just doesn't do any good. Get it out and move forward. That's what my therapist just told me on our call earlier today.

Mae

[k3am]

sandandsea, when we went through health stuff with DD, I felt bad complaining to my friend because her family was going through so much worse than we were, and what she said really resonates. This is not the pain olympics. Just because people have it worse doesn't mean you're NOT struggling. There will always be people who have it easier than you. There will always be people that have it worse than you. But none of that changes or invalidates how you feel about dealing with what you have. And it doesn't make you ungrateful or uncaring for feeling that way.

[waverly]

It’s a global pandemic. The baseline is we are all struggling. Do some have it worse absolutely but we are all starting out with struggling.


I find many SAHM’s especially with younger kids to be so skewed time wise. They only do things, 1 day a week at 10 am. Anything else is sacrilege, weekends are for their husbands only (and sometimes family) and 5 is late. I typically don’t mind them, but this is one area where they clearly live in another world often one that doesn’t align a lot with working people’s reality

[mustardseed2007]

I'm on my neighborhood HOA. A church just offered my neighborhood a bunch of disposable masks. Its enough for about 2 disposable masks per household. They are offering disposable masks to all the neighborhoods in our area. Which seems nice?

But I feel weird about it. It doesn't seem like a good use of resources and we're not like a low income neighborhood either. Not that its easy to find masks no matter what your income is, but I know that lots of moms in our neighborhood are sewing masks and donating them. Some are sewing masks and selling them.

It seems to me like a better outlet for a large quantity of masks would be CPS, or the fire department, or the a hospital. I have made that comment to the rest of the board and its not being well received. : /

I know if someone is offering you something for your neighborhood, then it probably is wrong to suggest they take that resource to give it to someone else, but also a bunch of WASPs taking two disposable masks out of a sizeable stockpile still seems like a big waste.

[waverly]

Apr 9, 2020 18:01:45 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

I'm on my neighborhood HOA. A church just offered my neighborhood a bunch of disposable masks. Its enough for about 2 disposable masks per household. They are offering disposable masks to all the neighborhoods in our area. Which seems nice?

But I feel weird about it. It doesn't seem like a good use of resources and we're not like a low income neighborhood either. Not that its easy to find masks no matter what your income is, but I know that lots of moms in our neighborhood are sewing masks and donating them. Some are sewing masks and selling them.

It seems to me like a better outlet for a large quantity of masks would be CPS, or the fire department, or the a hospital. I have made that comment to the rest of the board and its not being well received. : /

I know if someone is offering you something for your neighborhood, then it probably is wrong to suggest they take that resource to give it to someone else, but also a bunch of WASPs taking two disposable masks out of a sizeable stockpile still seems like a big waste.

It’s a bit ick. Someone posted that it’s weird American dont wear masks to help each other like the Chinese, but we were told not to and to save them for the hospitals. Now they say everyone which really does mean everyone because rich or not we can all spread it, but the reality is that this is hitting minorities and those living in poverty harder. And medical staff still need them.

[twinmomma]

Apr 9, 2020 18:01:45 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

I'm on my neighborhood HOA. A church just offered my neighborhood a bunch of disposable masks. Its enough for about 2 disposable masks per household. They are offering disposable masks to all the neighborhoods in our area. Which seems nice?

But I feel weird about it. It doesn't seem like a good use of resources and we're not like a low income neighborhood either. Not that its easy to find masks no matter what your income is, but I know that lots of moms in our neighborhood are sewing masks and donating them. Some are sewing masks and selling them.

It seems to me like a better outlet for a large quantity of masks would be CPS, or the fire department, or the a hospital. I have made that comment to the rest of the board and its not being well received. : /

I know if someone is offering you something for your neighborhood, then it probably is wrong to suggest they take that resource to give it to someone else, but also a bunch of WASPs taking two disposable masks out of a sizeable stockpile still seems like a big waste.

That's very strange. I would think those masks should be donated to hospitals that need them and folks in the neighborhood can use the handmade fabric ones. I'd be uncomfortable taking some. 

Also, I think it's kind of gross that people are hand sewing masks and selling them. It takes about 10 minutes to make one, even if you have to make your own tie straps and don't have elastic to use. The amount of fabric needed is so negligible, that anyone who sews regularly would have plenty hanging around their house already. I've seen posts on our town Facebook about selling them and it makes me upset. You can't just donate them to folks in town? Everything has to suddenly become a work at home side hustle? 

[waverly]

Apr 10, 2020 6:59:16 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Apr 9, 2020 18:01:45 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

I'm on my neighborhood HOA. A church just offered my neighborhood a bunch of disposable masks. Its enough for about 2 disposable masks per household. They are offering disposable masks to all the neighborhoods in our area. Which seems nice?

But I feel weird about it. It doesn't seem like a good use of resources and we're not like a low income neighborhood either. Not that its easy to find masks no matter what your income is, but I know that lots of moms in our neighborhood are sewing masks and donating them. Some are sewing masks and selling them.

It seems to me like a better outlet for a large quantity of masks would be CPS, or the fire department, or the a hospital. I have made that comment to the rest of the board and its not being well received. : /

I know if someone is offering you something for your neighborhood, then it probably is wrong to suggest they take that resource to give it to someone else, but also a bunch of WASPs taking two disposable masks out of a sizeable stockpile still seems like a big waste.

That's very strange. I would think those masks should be donated to hospitals that need them and folks in the neighborhood can use the handmade fabric ones. I'd be uncomfortable taking some. 

Also, I think it's kind of gross that people are hand sewing masks and selling them. It takes about 10 minutes to make one, even if you have to make your own tie straps and don't have elastic to use. The amount of fabric needed is so negligible, that anyone who sews regularly would have plenty hanging around their house already. I've seen posts on our town Facebook about selling them and it makes me upset. You can't just donate them to folks in town? Everything has to suddenly become a work at home side hustle? 

What are they charging for them? I can’t really sew and breaking out my sewing machine might still be a few quarantine boredom weeks away. I got 4 for free but I paid the person $5 to ship them.

[phdmomma]

twinmomma, I totally appreciated that people are selling them. I bought some on Etsy for the family, because I do not have time, fabric, or a sewing machine. It was around $20 for 4 with free shipping. I'm completely happy to pay that, and took that as a win. But things are also insane at my house right now, DH is pulling 60 hour weeks of work, and I am totally in charge of the kids and e-learning while trying to work.

mustardseed2007, I am doing research with hospitals right now about how they are currently changing their PPE protocols due the shortages. They really could use those masks. They are currently testing different decontamination methods which still let the masks work okay, but they can only do it so many times, because different parts of the masks break down. I would feel weird about it too.

[twinmomma]

phdmomma, waverly, I'm not against people getting masks from someone else who can make them. Not everyone can sew or has the time, I get it. But I've seen people charging $10 a mask around here. After I made a few last weekend, it just feels like taking advantage of people who are desperate to charge that much for the supplies and effort that go into it. We're talking the rectangle, couple of pleats, nothing fancy masks. These are not the ones that are more shaped to your nose that require interfacing, pattern, etc. It just rubbed me the wrong way that our town Facebook group suddenly had all these posts selling them for what seems like exorbitant prices because of the panic.