S/o travel - visiting far away family

[CurlyQ284]

We don't live near any family. We are in Michigan, my family is in Virginia (9 hour drive), Hs family recently moved to Florida (16 hour drive).

If you don't live near any family, are you expecting to see them at all this year?

[mccallister84]

My family is in NY and NJ and we are in MD. I am hopeful we can all meet at my sister’s house at some point this summer - everyone can do the drive without stopping.

H’s family is in CO. We were supposed to be there in early April and rescheduled our flights for late July. I’m 99% sure we aren’t going then either. I guess we will reschedule for Thanksgiving but I would be surprised if we make it out then either. It’s on southwest so rescheduling isn’t a hassle thankfully.

[georgeglass]

I'm not expecting to see our out of state family this year.

[Velar Fricative]

Not unless either of my out-of-state siblings comes here, which they normally do. Both would be willing to drive - one has driven 10 hours before to get here but the other would be about a 16-hour drive, I think. I wouldn’t be shocked if the one who lives 16 hours away moves back to NY, actually. If not, I think it’s possible both could visit before the end of 2020 based on how things look.

[TBM]

I am not expecting to see my family this year. They are all 2000 (ish) miles away.

We were supposed to spend Christmas with our daughter, son in law and grandsons this year, (we spend every other Christmas with them), and go to a family reunion in October, a HS reunion at the same time/same place, and DH was supposed to present at a conference in Milan in November and I was trying to get my daughter to join us.

None of that is going to happen, and if it does, we won't be there.

[isabel]

My MIL lives here and she is watching our kids two days a week now.

My mom lives in Albuquerque (about 8 hours south drive time) and I am contemplating driving down there this summer. I think it’s a short enough trip that we can manage with a single stop (my boys can pee on the side of the road if need be) and I’m comfortable with the level of social distancing we’ve been practicing that we wouldn’t be introducing unnecessary risk to my mom.

My dad wanted to drive up here right around the time all of this started, but balked when I told him he wouldn’t be allowed to go to a grocery store, take the kids to the park, etc. He’s a Trumper and I don’t trust how seriously he’s taken this, so I’ve so far told him he can’t drive to see us. Interestingly, he thinks he may have had covid at the end of December after a seeing a friend who had travelled recently. He said he had a respiratory illness that lasted about two weeks and it was bad enough that he considered going to the ER a couple of times (very unusual for him).

[mrspez07]

My parents and brother live close, so I’ve delivered groceries to my parents and we had a distanced b-day party for my brother.
We were supposed to go see FIL and SIL in CA over spring break and cancelled. FIL has ALS and we’d like to visit soon. Still not sure what we’ll do this summer. It’s a 20 hour drive.
As serious as the airlines are taking it, and as light as the numbers are, that’s not out of the question as an option later as well. I saw Delta is only booking at 60% capacity max in economy, requiring face masks, etc.

[wildrice]

I honestly don't know and don't want to commit to anything right now.

We had plans to go to Chicago (where I am from) in August for a family reunion. That is a 13 hour drive for us, which is technically possible but I am not crazy about the idea. I don't like long road trips unless they can be broken up with fun stops, and I don't see that happening this year. We had planned to fly but as of now I would not be comfortable doing that, especially since seeing my 88 year old grandmother was a major reason for even doing this reunion. Right now she's isolated in a senior living facility so she can't have visitors anyway. No idea how different that will be 3 months from now.

My parents and one of my sisters (and her H and kids) live in Houston, which is around 20 hour drive for us. No way are we ever making that drive unless it's some kind of crazy emergency. I had assumed I'd visit at some point during the year and then we'd probably go down for Christmas. I honestly don't know if either of those things will happen. I can't stand the idea of not seeing them, but my mom is high risk and I'm not going to take a chance on bringing her a virus that could kill her. My parents haven't been going anywhere at all and that will probably continue for the foreseeable future, so until that changes I'm not going to break their quarantine.

It sucks. I am fairly close with my family it's already been hard being a plane ride away for the last few years. The idea that a plane ride isn't possible either is pretty upsetting. My sister's kids are little and awesome, and I hate missing out on seeing them at these life stages. And my parents aren't old (61) but with my mom's variable health, I hate to miss any opportunity to see them - you just never know how many more good years we have ahead.

Also selfishly my dad is super handy and I really wish we could fly him up here and do some house stuff together now that we own a house. This is not important at all, but would have been nice to have his knowledge and spend the time working on this stuff together, too. He's a good teacher and enjoys projects (and helping his daughters!) so I'm definitely bummed that we don't live near each other.

[cleo29]

We were/are hoping to have a small memorial service for my MIL in August. I don't know if it will happen.

[cville]

Presuming car travel or plane travel can be safe, we may visit my parents (10-12 hours) in late summer. My ILs are across the country. I think we won't see them until next year.

My parents think our annual NJ beach trip in early July is happening. Including my brother, his wife, and their 2 young children flying from the west coast. Um. No. They're sensible and won't insist if it's not safe, but, like, it's already May 6th. Early July is about 2 months away. 60 days isn't enough time to defeat this.

[seeyalater52]

We are not planning to travel to out of state family or have them come here this year. My ILs are in Florida and they would need to fly to get here. Especially if we have a baby in Oct there is no way we will feel comfortable with them getting off a plane and coming to see us/our newborn, and it isn't feasible for them to quarantine here for 2 weeks prior to seeing us. 

Even our local family is likely not to be able to visit in the near future. Even if social distancing rules ease, we just won't be comfortable and especially if they return to work (my parents aren't retired, my sister and BIL both work) I just can't see how it will be safe. 

Context is that of course our risk assessment is different with me being pregnant and a potential newborn. We went through hell and back again to have this baby and the thought of anything within our control jeopardizing that is just too much to handle. 

[macmars45]

All of my family is in WA state (and so are H, DS & I). We'll see them at some point. Also, we'll move to my hometown at some point. My parents, 2/4 sisters and a BIL live there. The other 2 sisters and their families live a few hours away from my hometown.
Now, H's family are a plane ride away in AZ. Even if driving was feasible, DS gets carsick really easily so that isn't happening. So I have no idea when we will see them again and it makes me sad. H had just reconnected with them last year and we were planning to make a yearly trip to visit them (we visited last October for a week).

[InBetweenDays]

Nope. We're in Seattle and H's mom and dad are in northern New Jersey. On top of that his dad is in a long term care facility after having a stroke a year ago. We are not expecting to see them at all this year. Thankfully H flew there in early February for a short visit.

ETA: My parents and sister are about 45 minutes away so we'll hopefully see them this summer. My brother is about 8 hours away. If travel is allowed and safe we all may drive to visit them at their lake house late in the summer.

[scout8]

I have no idea. There are way too many unknowns right now for me to make any sort of decision.

[notsopicky]

No. We were supposed to go on an Alaska cruise in June, with a stop in Seattle for several days to see my brother and his kids, but that got canceled a while ago.

We usually see my parents for about a week in TN during the summer, but I don't see that happening either.

I am bummed out.

[starryfish]

my ILs live 7-8 hours away. We will go see them soon (our stay at home order ended recently). We will drive there with one stop on the way. I am PG and this is one of our last chances to see them before I am restricted to no travel. After that, i have no idea when we will go after the baby is born.....it should be up to them to come visit us then in the fall. Actually for the birth I really need my MIL here to watch my DD for us.

[steamboat185]

We are about 2k miles away, which is about a 30 hour drive. We have tossed around the idea of driving there and camping to avoid hotels, but at this point I don’t see us visiting for the rest of 2020.

It’s a 4 hour flight and I’m not sure the kids can wear a mask for the 6-7 hours (including airport waiting time) that would be required. I’ve also talked to people who have flown recently and everyone has mentioned how much busier the plane was than they expected and how unsafe they felt, which doesn’t give me the warm fuzzies.

[JayhawkGirl]

My parents are very close and we see them across the driveway. My sister is in the next town over and her current risk tolerance is higher than mine, so we will be apart despite daily calls.

MIL is basically stuck in Australia and we don’t expect to see her until 2021, if that. She could come here but then couldn’t get back over and that’s where she wants to be. I really really wish she and DH had finally talked about selling the damn house here.

[janegold]

I’m due with my second in June and my parents and sisters plan to come stay for a few weeks after the baby comes. They will drive (about 16 hours).

[readyin07]

My FIL, I just don't know. H is saying we can drive up to Philly if it's deemed safe in July. He wants his sister to come because we still haven't met our niece who just turned one and because FIL is selling their family home this summer. I have no idea what their level of comfort will be and I am NOT comfortable with it. To be extremely honest with you all, a big part of it is that the idea of driving 16 hours one way to sit in a house with my kids who will have nothing to do and her kids who are 1 and 3 is absolutely not appealing at all. Yes, if we could go out and do activities, but being trapped in a house with 5 kids sounds absolutely freaking miserable and the summer is already shaping up to be miserable, but at least I'll be in my own home with the kids' things (bikes, skateboards, basketball hoop, etc.)

[goldengirlz]

This thread is going to make me cry.

My entire side of the family is in New York. I’m in California. Even if I felt safe flying, I don’t know if it’s wise to go into the epicenter. I haven’t seen my parents since August and my extended family since ... ugh, I don’t even know. I was supposed to be there in April.

It’s killing me. In short, I don’t have a timeline to give you and it’s eating away at me. Maybe this summer? Maybe?

[picaflora]

My parents and inlaws live one state over - a 4hr drive. It's likely we'll go see them at some point this summer - we just aren't sure how "soon". MIL wants us to come this weekend for Mother's Day, but with both states just starting to open back up I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.

My sister and her family are still insisting on driving from WI to NC in mid June to visit with my parents. (Driving isn't unusual - we all make the drive instead of flying from time to time). She's planning on staying 2 weeks, and will spend some of that time at the beach. Last I heard, my parents are a bit concerned about this (but haven't told her yet). At the very least Dad wants her beach trip to be at the end of the visit, and that she head back to WI from the beach without stopping by. Who knows what's going to actually happen though.

[Leeham Rimes]

I don’t think so. I’m in FL, my entire family is in NJ. There’s no way to make the drive without stopping, the thought of flying gives me hives.

I’m hesitant to say definitely one way or the other, but I’m keeping my expectations low and assuming we won’t be able to see them.

I’m not totally ruling it out, depends on what life looks like in the coming weeks and months.

[redredwine]

My parents live a few hours plane flight away. I will visit them at some point. I know it's risky, but as soon as it's deemed safe to get on a plane, I will. Part of my reasoning is "Would I regret it if I don't see them (esp seeing my daughter)?" so it's not so much a question of if, it's when. If I have to drive, I'll drive. Driving 20 hours with a toddler sounds like a nightmare, but I can't not see my parents. 

[wambam]

My parents are a little over two hours away. We’re in Ohio, they’re in Kentucky. I want so much to see them on my dad’s birthday 6/15, but I don’t think that will happen. Hopefully later in the summer. I truly can’t imagine not spending the holidays with them. I don’t want to think about it.

[kooshball]

I barely get to see my parents now and they are <10 miles away. I am guessing the recommendation from our state will be that high risk people need to stay in for many more months.

[cajunmom]

We are going to STL in July for my nephew's graduation. Well...they might not have an actual ceremony (it was supposed to be May 28 or something) and even if they do have a ceremony we won't go to that, we will just see him and his brother and parents. It's a 650 mile drive for us.

All other family is local within 1.5 hours. We'll hopefully be able to see them sometime this summer.

[sdlaura]

We can't drive to see any family - we're in SoCal and they're in the DC area (both my family and DH's). Luckily we just took a long trip there over the Christmas/NY holiday. My parents happened to be visiting for the month of March (they have a condo here near my house), and luckily we convinced them to stay since we're expecting a baby in 5 weeks. So we're having tons of time with my parents, but don't expect to see the rest of the family for awhile. I'm hoping by later in the year, we'll be able to see my sister/his sister's family, but FIL is nearly 80 and has some health problems, so I imagine even if we felt safe to fly, we probably wouldn't want to expose FIL to us for a long time.

[bears]

Were in North Carolina, family is in Florida and New York.

I remain hopeful that we will see them at some point this year. I will not be comfortable with flying and will drive.

[rosiebear]

Good question! Hs family lives 8-10 (depending on traffic) hours away and we generally visit in the summer (not happening this year) and then for either Thanksgiving or Christmas.

I don’t particularly enjoy those visits, so maybe I’m just looking for an excuse, but I can’t see making the trip at all this year.