Post by pantsparty on Sept 21, 2012 21:45:41 GMT -5
I am so sorry I hope you are getting all the help and support and love you need. I am not surprised you are feeling low - you were made to feel that way your entire marriage, and you are going through a major life change that would rock anyone's world.
Please NEVER EVER EVER EVER think you are a screw up. You made an incredibly hard decision to make things better for your kids. Do you know how GOOD, how GREAT of a person that makes you? Seriously, I have tears in my eyes. It's hard now but you have done the RIGHT thing. Please, please remember that!
I am just a random lurker that you don't know but from what I have read on here and on the nest you seem like a very strong woman who would do anything for her kids. ({) You can do this, and will a better person for it, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.
I'm so sorry! I wish I lived closer so I could help you out with the kids and to just generally be there for you!
You made the most difficult decision you could've ever made, but it was by far the best and definitely the right decision. Your kids will thank you one day. You are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and your kids. Don't ever feel like you are a screw up because you want the best for your kids!
You'll get through this. You are a strong woman, you can do this.
A trip to your therapist is a good idea....and the sooner the better.
Post by MrsBunnyfoo on Sept 21, 2012 21:58:22 GMT -5
I just wanted to remind you to take it one day at a time. One step if that's all you can manage. But remember you are moving forward. It takes time to heal wounds that run so deep. I don't think what you are feeling is abnormal by any means. If you think therapy and meds can help then you should consider it. You don't need to suffer to the point that you can't get out of bed. Be honest with yourself if you are having difficulty in that regard. I'm wishing you the best!
It's OK to feel sad now. You are going through a horrible time. But it will pass and you will be happy again. You haven't lost who you were; you just got damaged and need to recover.
The only kind of crazy she is is crazy amazing. Jlm, I don't know a single person who has felt with as much shit as you have, and who can Still be so graceful, be such a good person, a great mother... You are amazing. Honestly, I loved your posts last night. You are great. You will get through this.
Bestguest, go fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw. You're the fucking dregs of humanity and I hope a bus hits you and paralyzes you from the neck down and you sit in your own crepulence for the rest of your filthy, hateful life.
J - call me. You are not a screw up or pathetic and you are going to get through this. If you need anything, you know I'm there and Sprky will come with me.
Post by mamasaurus on Sept 22, 2012 10:39:13 GMT -5
When I start to feel like I am going to climb the walls and I want to punch everyone in the face, I do breathing exercises to calm down a little and go hug my daughter. You have two beautiful kids who are both motivation to get through this and a great source of mood-boosting snuggles. You can do it!
You need to give yourself more credit. Instead of hating yourself for being a "screw up" you need to own your accomplishments with a great big "FUCK YEAH, I did it!!" You ditched the loser, you are an awesome mom, you keep rolling with the punches. People have given up when hit with much, much less. Be proud of yourself; be proud for being a strong woman; be proud for stopping a cycle of abuse and being a great role model for your daughters. Your life is hard right now, but it will get better because YOU are making better.
JLM - I am so sorry you're going through this. I agree with PPs that if you aren't on ADs, you should in order to help you cope as you work everything out in therapy. If you already are on ADs, you should get your dosage checked. *giant hugs*
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
I don't know your whole story, but I just wanted to say that I've felt this way too, and that I hope you start to feel better soon. Do whatever you have to do to feel better, be it therapy, meds, meditation, a vacation, whatever. I hope it passes soon. *hugs*
Post by marshmallow on Sept 22, 2012 12:48:36 GMT -5
I am just a lurker, but I have been so struck with your story. It has really stuck with me and honestly, I can't believe the amount of hard things you've had to take in the past two years. I'm sorry that it has been so hard for you, but you will get through this, you will feel better. You really, truly deserve it.
Few people could endure what you have been through and you will be such an inspiration to your girls when they are older.