Social distancing questions

[waverly]

We are one week into phase 3 which is groups of 10 or less (including your own family), outdoor patios are open, wearing masks inside.  Cases are going down.

We are skipping out on a big pool party.  It feels too soon.  Are you waiting a week or so between interactions?  For example, last weekend I saw my mom, the babysitter started work, I started work and attending an outside socially distant work get together (no food or shared drinks), and started going to an outdoor patio.  So I thought if I wait a week before doing a playdate that would be best.

Our sleepaway camp is still running (the very week we signed up is the first week they are open- mid July), would you still send? I am strongly leaning towards no, but my in-laws are dodging our calls about taking the kids.  They always take the kids one week in the summer, and I understand if they don't want to.  Cases are falling in their state as well.  Would you try not to see anyone 2 weeks before seeing them (except co-workers and babysitter)? I think I'm mostly asking about playdates.

We canceled a June trip and cancelled baseball.  Dance is finished June 15.  DD did a facetime with a friend yesterday, so they are still not seeing people.  But I do want to see our neighbors eventually.  The kids haven't seen anyone but my mom and the babysitter in 3 months. 

[Deleted]

I think this is so dependent on where in the country you are, or heck even where in certain states you are, and also your own personal risk factors.

For our family, we are in a state (CO) that has declining cases for the past 6 weeks and we aren’t in the hardest hit part of our state and we have no risk factors. So if I could have sent my kids to overnight camp I would have, but ours cancelled for the summer. My youngest is doing a “small group adventure camp” this week which is him, 3 other boys and a counselor rock climbing all week.

I’m not waiting between interactions. We are still somewhat limited, we’ve basically let the kids each see 1-2 kids plus my nieces. I’ve been seeing my mom and grandma (for walks outside) through the entire thing, we kept our cleaning lady the entire time (we leave), and my kids’ tutor has come 2x a week through the entire thing. I’ve also spent some time one of my brothers and his family and I recently just saw my dad for the first time since February... The risk of what we are opting to do and how we are opting to do it is low in my opinion. Other people have different risk tolerances or whatever, which is fine. Do what you are comfortable with.

[sdlaura]

Agree with @mrsgreeko that even within states the situation is vastly different (even within our giant county here - I’d feel differently if I were closer to the Mexican border), and everyone needs to make their own trade-offs/risk calculations. It’s annoying that there’s no great wide ranging guidance, but I don’t see that changing.

I know it’s still inconclusive, but given what most research I’ve read shows so far, kids are less likely to suffer serious illness and there haven’t been many documented cases of young kids bringing COVID into their families. Yes, I know there are a few cases of kids dying of the Kawasaki like illness, and I wish we had more data on whether kids spread it - but nothing I can do about the lack of more conclusive data and we’re all needing to make some decisions.

For now, personally, we’ve decided to continue to distance adults but let kids relax - for their mental and physical health and development. DH and I are continuing to WFH and distance when we socialize. This past week we have gone to playgrounds and the beach and let the kids get close to other kids while playing (then hand sanitizer and washed).

DS2 has gone back to his in home daycare this last week with two other little boys. Then when my parents fly home next Friday, we’ll have our house cleaner come back, and then our 6- and 7-year-olds will start YMCA day camps 6/22. I’ll have the kids shower and change outside everyday when they come home just to be extra careful - not even necessarily COVID related but because we have a newborn. We’ll be careful about the older kids touching the baby - but I figure statistically 44-year-old A blood type DH is more likely to be hospitalized/die of COVID than the newborn.

We also still hope to go on a vacation that would require a two-hour direct flight to a relatively low case area in August. And we’d stay in houses with 3 other close friends families. We have until late July to decide on that - we’re on the fence.

I don’t see DH and I going back to our offices anytime soon. We’ll continue to wear masks in stores. Will go to outdoor patio restaurants occasionally but no socializing with adults indoors yet.

[waverly]

I scheduled the play date for Friday when I am off, so there is a little time between interactions- all outside. Cases are going down in our state. Our county is a hotspot, but it’s mostly the big city. We don’t live there, but people can commute easily.

In-laws said OK to the kids, so I think if we be careful 2 weeks before we see them it should be OK. They have health problems so I want to be more careful. That means we are cancelling on summer camp. It’s not the best year for it to be DD’s first year. Next year she will probably be more confident.

Thanks, in lieu of a ton of guidance all I can try to do is see people outside and keep it under 10 per my state.

[shakinros]

My DD’s mental health went way up when we started having play dates. It’s only been one family (with one kid so far) once a week but I think I’m going to text another family to test the waters with them today.

To answer your other questions, just for me, I would:
Skip the pool party
Still go to day camp but probably not overnight
Not necessarily wait between seeing people, depending on the circumstances. If I was going to see someone in a nursing home, I’d be extra careful and avoid social gatherings two weeks beforehand. If I’m going to a friends house to socialize outside with no shared food and they have no known health risks, I wouldn’t worry about a waiting period.

[shakinros]

And not to hijack your thread, but here’s my question for the group. We are sending DD to see my parents on June 21 for a week. We are flying there, then I will fly right back. My parents are in their 60s, retired, no health risks besides age.

I was telling DH the other day that since everyone’s risk tolerance is different, we will have to keep in mind that other families probably think we’re nuts. I jokingly said we don’t have any moral high ground on our neighbors’ day trip to the beach if we’re getting on an airplane. He totally flipped his lid and declared that the airport is way safer and the beach is going to be a hotbed of infections etc etc.

Am I off base? I get that these are both choices that would be fine for some, and totally inappropriate to others. That was my point. But am I missing something about beach transmission? He seemed to think the water would be especially infectious, which is when I decided we were done talking about it. we have no beach trips scheduled so it’s pointless to fight about.

[mustardseed2007]

IMO planes are much more dangerous than a beach. Of course its going to depend on your beach because some are super crowded, but I have never found myself on top of another family around here. Says the girl who is doing a weekend trip to the beach in a rented house this weekend....

But my niece has flown. Everyone wore masks on the plane, most people wore masks in the airport. The flight was fuller than she thought it would be. It was southwest so she was able to choose her seat and people naturally distanced.

I read a review of flying recently that gave delta high marks as far as anyone can have high marks on a plane.

[waverly]

I’ve gotten sick from planes a few times. It’s recycled air so that isn’t great. I can’t remember colds, but I know I’ve gotten sick from airplane bathrooms. I try to avoid them if possible and use the airport bathrooms instead. Airport bathrooms are designed to not transmit germs- touchless everything - not true of airplane bathrooms.

Water is not considered to transmit the disease especially chlorinated water. A pool might be safer water wise but really it comes down to how crowded it is because it’s a respiratory disease and transmitted mostly by breathing/talking/singing/coughing/sneezing more so than water or touch.

[vasc]

The “line” we’ve drawn for our house is anything outside in open air is fair game. Our neighborhood playground was closed all of March and April, but when the pool opened (with rules about how many people can come), the playground opened too. We have several neighbors with small children who are friends with our children. Everyone has been working from home and has stayed healthy. Therefore, we feel fairly safe letting them play together outside.

Our kids haven’t been in any stores or indoor public spaces since March. When H or I do the shopping, we shower immediately upon getting home.

DD will go to her overnight camp at the end of June.

[twinmomma]

I've been opening our circle based on people, not activities.
So far we've spread to my parents and siblings (stayed at their house over the weekend), beau's mom (but only outdoors at the lake house and wearing masks near her because she's older), and beau's next door neighbors who also have a young kid (but only me, not the girls seeing them yet). All the hanging out has happened mainly outdoors at private homes, not public spaces. Thankfully we have decent yards to play in and the luxury of lake houses to visit so we can avoid public beaches and parks right now. I live in one of the hot bed cities in our state and right on the border of another state that got hit a lot harder, so I'm all set with venturing into public places right now. I'm just barely getting myself to go to stores for quick trips. Still relying on delivery for groceries.
I do need to figure out how we can do some kind of play dates with the girls' BFF this summer. I'm just super paranoid because both her parents leave the house to go to work every day and her dad is around a TON of people and has had a lot of confirmed cases at his huge company. So far we've done visits where one of us parks in the other's drive way, the kids talk through the window on one side of the car and us parents chat through the window on the other side. I realize that's kind of ridiculous, but it's worked pretty well for a quick visit to let them "see" their friends. And three chatty 8 year old girls just want to talk and gossip anyway, so they've been pretty happy with it as a make shift solution.

[mae0111]

We are in a hard-hit state, and my small city was hit hard in particular (population is about 37K, we've had over 850 cases). Most of the cases were in nursing homes and assisted living facilities - we have so, so many here. Phase 2 started today after a 3-week phase 1. Outdoor dining only, retail space can open back up, playgrounds started today. The town canceled all camps, organized sports, and events through the end of the summer, and no one seems confident that fall sports will open up. Just some background.

My kids have been playing with neighborhood kids since the start of Phase 1. The same 6-8 kids, always outside, and we are encouraging the kids to stay apart when we see them (all parents yelling out windows, etc). We've even had the kids over to swim, which gets tricky because they all tend to congregate closely in the pool. No one has been allowed in anyone's house. Parents have come over to help me supervise and we stay outside.

DD2 has had one playdate with a high-risk classmate. I was very open with her mom about what we've done and who we've seen. They stayed outside and apart for a couple of hours. We're setting up another one soon.

We've seen my parents in their house, and my sister's family inside as well. I'm feeling more comfortable, and I'm considering having friends over in the next few weeks, if they're comfortable.

I'm still not ready for playgrounds yet. I think they'll be flooded right now since they've been closed for months. DH hasn't traveled since early March, and neither one of us is looking forward to him getting on a plane. They're big germ tubes anyway, and I'm just not confident that there's a good way to keep anything from spreading, even if they do leave some space in between passengers. But I also think that we're going to get it at some point, if we haven't had it already. When DH starts flying again, I'll be super careful around my parents, as they're in their 70's, have some lung issues and slightly high blood pressure - so a few risk factors.

ETA - we are not sending DD1 to sleepaway camp this year.  We were seriously considering it, but the restrictions that have been put in place made it difficult and not really appealing.  The camp moved her weeks so that they interfered with other family plans and trips.  They were restricting the activities significantly.  The quarantine required beforehand would have been nearly impossible based on other planned activities.  If we could have sent her, we would have.

[sandandsea]

We had a situation last week where we had to go to someone else’s house so now our circle has Opened to them and we went back to swim the next day. Also my dad (under 60) is driving through (happens once or twice a year) so we are seeing him. Social distance soccer is starting this week and I’m still praying summer camp open next week. So once that opens it seems like we’ve pulled off the band aid and it harder to say no to everything else. We’ve been nearly isolated for three months and I’m ready to open the circle a bit.

[hocus2]

Jun 7, 2020 18:54:27 GMT -5 waverly said:

Our sleepaway camp is still running (the very week we signed up is the first week they are open- mid July), would you still send? I am strongly leaning towards no, but my in-laws are dodging our calls about taking the kids.  They always take the kids one week in the summer, and I understand if they don't want to.  Cases are falling in their state as well.  Would you try not to see anyone 2 weeks before seeing them (except co-workers and babysitter)? I think I'm mostly asking about playdates.

 We're signed up for a sleep away camp and I think it is one of the safer options we can do this summer. They are testing twice and basically locking down the program. While they are accepting mail and deliveries that is the only in and out. Staff will take their days off on site.


If it isn't sleep away (the state still hasn't said) it will be daycamp which is less controlled because the kids go home every night.

[waverly]

I didn't see a great plan for our sleepaway camp. They aren't doing testing which would be awesome if they were. They are not requiring people quarantine beforehand (but I don't see people complying with it anyway). They said they are reducing visitors, but they haven't said whether I can drop them off at the cabin or it is just drop off gear and run (which I wouldn't want for her first year).

If everyone is tested with a quick results test and those tests were more reliable (some are giving false negatives), then I think I would be more comfortable. Then parents could be tested as well maybe, and come with masks to the cabins.

[sdlaura]

shakinros we go to the beach every weekend and have been this whole time and I see very very little risk there. Every expert opinion I’ve read said you can’t get the virus from pool or ocean water. It’s easy to stay away from others and you’re outdoors. I see flying as much riskier. Not to say that I wouldn’t do it.

My parents are finally flying home next Friday after being stuck here for almost 4 months, and I hope that we can still fly for a family vacation in August. But I would consider it to be the riskiest thing we’ve done so far. Not so much the recycled air, but all the strangers you have to come close to in the airport and plane.

My firm updated our travel policy to say that anyone who has taken public/shared transportation of any kind (plane, train, etc) needs to stay away from the office and coworkers for 14 days.

[k3am]

We have done SIP with our neighbors from day one. Our kids saw each other every single day before we got SIP guidance, so we opted to not turn that off. It has been great for us to just send the kids out of the house for a couple hours (they alternate which house they end up at, so all parents get some downtime) or for us to all have pool time, or just nice neighborhood happy hours and dinners, so things really feel somewhat normal. I will actually be a little bit sad once things get back to normal and people get busy and we're not all together all the time.

There were days that I felt like I'd get slammed for letting people know we were doing it, but that's basically what the guidelines have evolved to anyways.

Until last week, the kids didn't see anyone outside of that circle. Both kids are at daycare now, so they're seeing new kids (although, the groups of kids will be consistent groups of up to 10 kids).

[waverly]

k3am, I think it definitely depends on what is happening with the virus in your region. If our cases continue to fall in our region that seems reasonable. When it looked like we might be the next Italy/ NYC of course we would do anything to prevent that, and it was all unknown at that time.

In hindsight we would have been fine seeing our neighbors- they never got sick. My friend, however, got Covid from working at a residential facility. She came to my house to porch pick up a cot in case things got bad at work, and it was a week before she tested positive. I'm so glad I did it as a porch pick up instead of saying hey come inside lets chat.

[steamboat185]

shakinros for me the beach would be far lower risk (when done with social distancing) than a plane. There are sooo many surfaces you touch in an airport and so many chances to touch your mask after touching a surface. At the beach you basically touch sand and maybe some rocks.

We are supposed to fly in 2 weeks, but I don’t see that happening. Neither of my kids will wear a mask for more than 30 minutes (ages 6 and 3) they’d have to wear one for at least 5 hours (airport on both ends and flight) to fly. At the beach if we were 6 feet apart I don’t think we’d need to wear a mask.

There is recirculating air in the airport and the plane and airport isn’t designed for social distancing. Even with the middle seat empty you have people in seats directly behind you and in front of you. At the beach if things feel uncomfortable you can just leave- that isn’t allowed on a plane.

And the water isn’t how the virus is passed. It has to be breathed in- not sure most people breathe underwater. Edit and I’m in CO so it’s not even like we have a beach to visit.

[k3am]

waverly, our region was one of the first hot spots in the country. We are home to the first identified CV death. We made our choices knowing that. It all boils down to personal comfort levels. We have two sets of neighbors who haven't seen ANYONE since this all started. I've seen one of the husbands at the store - he's got masks, gloves, and lysol wipes every item he puts in his cart. That's what he needs to do to be comfortable, so more power to him.

I think the idea that cases will continue to fall once restrictions are eased is naive. That is NOT going to happen, barring a vaccine. People will interact more, and people WILL get it. Flattening the curve has served its purposes - hospitals have room for patients, and we've learned a lot about the virus.

[waverly]

They have fallen after we moved to phase 3 here. Whether that continues will remain to be seen especially with the protests. We are very much in too soon to tell In our location. Cases have dwindled in other countries so it’s possible, but every location is different.

ETA- It's so weird, I took a look at CA, and it keeps going up.  I think we peaked May 15 we had 4000 cases, today we are in the 600's.  I mean it's good don't get me wrong, but it's just a bit bizarre.  Maybe because you closed down so early you haven't peaked yet, it's just the world's longest plateau that won't end....

[hocus2]

Jun 8, 2020 10:23:15 GMT -5 waverly said:

I didn't see a great plan for our sleepaway camp. They aren't doing testing which would be awesome if they were. They are not requiring people quarantine beforehand (but I don't see people complying with it anyway). They said they are reducing visitors, but they haven't said whether I can drop them off at the cabin or it is just drop off gear and run (which I wouldn't want for her first year).

If everyone is tested with a quick results test and those tests were more reliable (some are giving false negatives), then I think I would be more comfortable. Then parents could be tested as well maybe, and come with masks to the cabins.

 Why are parents going to cabins? Is there a need for that? 


Our camp isn't allowing any visitors. You test at home about 1 week out. Rapid test on arrival and then if you test negative your kids can unload. Parents are not allowed in the camp at all beyond the drop off zone. I believe families will be given a window to arrive so there isn't a pile up of folks waiting.

I would not be open to a sleep away that didn't test the kids to be honest. 

[waverly]

hocus2, pre-covid we drop off the luggage first, park our cars and do an orientation. Then they have a tractor/ wagon type thing where you can tour the camp and leave the campers with their cabin, get them settled, and meet the counselors. I am not sure they are doing that this year during Covid.

But yeah, I think I agree with you that I would not do it if they are not testing, and I did not see anything about testing. We moved our deposit to 2021.

[mae0111]

hocus2 - parents being unable to go to the cabin was DD1’s biggest reason for not going to camp this year. Her ADHD makes it nearly impossible for her to organize herself. If I do it for her, she can, with tremendous effort, keep it up. She can’t get a fitted sheet on her regular bed at home, let alone on a bunk (her camp requires sheets). And even if I mapped it all out for her, I’m not confident that she could unpack herself.

[hocus2]

Jun 8, 2020 15:36:58 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

hocus2 - parents being unable to go to the cabin was DD1’s biggest reason for not going to camp this year. Her ADHD makes it nearly impossible for her to organize herself. If I do it for her, she can, with tremendous effort, keep it up. She can’t get a fitted sheet on her regular bed at home, let alone on a bunk (her camp requires sheets). And even if I mapped it all out for her, I’m not confident that she could unpack herself.

  I understand that kids need assistance but camps should address that. The camp we went to last year never allows parents in the cabins and counselors just work with the kids (some as young as 7) to get set up. It is very much a team effort on the first day.


My 8 year old is not going to unpack himself and make his bed alone. I will pack so it is easier to unpack (e.g. like items in big ziplocks) but I am sure camp has seen kids who struggle before.

[186momx]

DD started gymnastics and is happy with seeing her friends 6ft apart. She has also started running short errands with me on Fridays. We went in to Fred Meyer for a handful of grocery items Friday morning and afterwards she said she didn't feel very safe because none of the employers were wearing their masks correctly and no one was social distancing and I agreed with 100%. Between the 2 of us and the dog we have 5 appointments of the next 2 weeks (dentist, doctors, vet). I would like to start doing some walking dates with a couple friends mid July once allergy season has calmed down. Meet at the school or park and walk on opposite sides of the track.

We had the largest increase in COVID test over the weekend in our state. Only 1 case in our town but a few counties had 50+ cases mainly linked to a specific site. About 8 counties moved to phase 2 on Friday and there are at least 1 who hasn't entered phase 1 yet. I have no desire to leave my general area as of now. DH wants to go and is 1000% over being stuck home and feels like mask wearing is stupid. It will be interesting to see how we deal with our to very different comfort levels over the next couple weeks.

[mae0111]

hocus2 - that’s awesome that the counselors jump in like that. Maybe we would have found the same at her camp, but she didn’t want to try.

I packed her the same way - outfits in ziplocks, hoping that it would keep things organized and dry. But if anyone asked her where she wanted anything, she would freeze.

[rere]

vasc, That is us. We feel a lot better now that the weather is nice and everything is outside. I feel very comfortable outside, where before, we were pretty much home. I am kind of the mindset that we should socialize while we can, because if things get worse in the winter, we will be shut in again. We are still planning on vacation - our own room, all outside activities and sightseeing. I am glad that we have not heard a word about the kids sleep away camp. I don't think I would be comfortable with them sleeping in a large cabin and large cafeteria and shared bathrooms.