Post by supertrooper1 on Jun 10, 2020 10:32:20 GMT -5
Dear Tuesday, Thank you for being such a productive day yesterday. I felt like I got a lot accomplished around the house, with work and DS was helpful without attitude all day. Please show Wednesday how to be as productive. Signed, Happy to have a good day
Dear Self, Lay off the sugar. Signed, Quarantine 15
Your stuff online is all about how Muffin can’t wait to find a good home. So why are you so slow to get back to the people with a good home for Muffin? It’s been DAYS, not hours.
Signed, Waiting for an Appointment Time from One and Any Answer at All From Another
Dear Kids:
Please remember these cats might not be a great fit for us.
Dear school and PTA, I’ve been nothing but patient. Ive been putting OTHER PEOPLES kids needs before my own kids’ needs for the last several months.
But today at 11:30 am I find out that you’re going to stream a 5th grade graduation ceremony tomorrow at 9 am? And since we didn’t know with any advanced notice, my husband will be at work and I will be in a work meeting.
Thanks for the fucking heads up. I’m so pissed off at the world right now.
Dear hairdresser, Thank you for making me feel like me again! The haircut last night was so needed. I didn't realize how much better it would make me feel to wake up this morning with my nice, short, actually styled hair again. I'm even rocking my big earrings here in the home office! Signed, It's the little things
Dear heart monitor, You are really, really cool. I'm in awe that you were shipped directly to my house with super specific instructions on how to put it on myself, how to monitor, etc. A bluetooth monitor that connects to a cell phone and transmits the data automatically?! I was totally geeking out with the intense packaging, branding, and instructions last night. I'm impressed. But... you're going to really throw a wrench into my summer fashion. There is no good way to hide a small pager attached to my chest for the next thirty days. I found one shirt to wear this morning that covers it, but those options are few and far between in my wardrobe, especially in warmer weather! I basically only wear v-neck shirts and sundresses, which means you're front and center. It's going to look really special with my bathing suit next time we go to the lake. But, I guess it could be worse. Signed, You better pick up useful info in the next month
PDQ There’s so much going on now, that I don’t even know where to begin. I’ll probably not put a whole lot of detail out there until I make some decisions and then can start processing what’s happening. Thanks for thinking of me. Hugs to all my WPs.
Your room is finally getting painted. The makeover is almost complete. However, your birthday is still a week and a half away, so you are going to wait until at least mid week to get everything out and arranged.
Signed, its for your birthday, not just some random Wednesday.
Dear Nanny, Thank you for being awesome. I know that you only started on Monday, but the kids seem much happier that someone is actually hanging out with them all day. You have been helping them pick up the house, which is great. And you know how to handle DD when she tries to push the boundaries. I am so glad that we found you. Signed, Thankful parent
Dear Work, I now have actual time to catch up on things dedicated to working. The nanny is coming 4 days a week. Which is why I am finally digging out of my email backlog. Signed, I really like my job when I don't also have to watch the kids
We just got an update that my company will likely be returning to work in "staggered patterns" in the "latter half" of the year, and that we won't be full-time back in the office until a vaccine is developed.
And my sister's school announced they're officially going with an alternating half in school / half out of school schedule. I'm terrified of what's coming next for us. She fully expects many of her students to drop out and enroll in a program designed for distance learning and many others to just only participate in school when they're in the classroom. Which is basically where I think most people end up.
Signed, JUST UGH.
Dear WPs,
I know I'm not the only one with anxiety over what the school year looks like, but I am curious.. are your SO's also freaking out? Because DH is.. not. I don't know if it's a "him" thing, a "me" thing, a general "male" thing, or just the fact that in our house, the majority of the kid related stuff falls on my shoulders. But I do know that I haven't heard many friends talk about their spouses being equally concerned or engaged in schooling while it was still in session.
DH did all the schooling. He’s not that freaked out, but 1) being a parent is his only job, 2) he gets breaks from his mom, who takes the kids when school is done, and 3) I think it’s partly just a guy thing. I stress about it more than he does.
Signed, Really Want School Again
Dear Company,
As much as I want the kids to get to go back to school, I don’t want to go back to the office. I like my job so much more and am so much more effective when I’m working from home. I don’t know why. But omg, I’m so much happier working from home. So I’m really bummed to hear our leadership isn’t even considering allowing supervisors to work from home. That just sucks.
Signed, Employee Who is Less Stressed by a Pandemic Than By Office Politics
Dear k3am, ExH has brought up zero concerns about next year. Not shocking. I have basically made all the decisions around adjusting custody and putting the girls in the same class but then run it by him as an "option" to make him think he has a say. He won't care until it's the day before he has to go to the office and is scrambling about what to do with the kids. Beau is not too concerned either, but he has built his business partnership around being able to be a SAHD when he has his son as much as possible. His partner does most of the in-person stuff when beau has his son, so he can pretty much manage whatever schedule comes his way. He's actually already offered several times to help manage whatever happens with my girls too, since his job is so much more flexible than mine. Meanwhile I'm over here trying not to have a daily panic attack thinking about all the logistics.
k3am DH is not freaking out about school at all. He knows I shoulder the mental load on childcare. I will tell him what we’re doing and what he needs to do and he’ll do it. Or if we need to decide between a couple options I’ll ask him for input. He is freaked out over the markets and his income and other things, but leaves the freaking out over school and childcare to me.
He didn’t do any of the schoolwork with the kids. In fairness, he didn’t expect me to do it either - he thought that given our crazy jobs and 3 kids and new baby that we should have just told the school we weren’t doing it. But I felt like we needed to make some effort, so I was the one to help when we did it. Hence why I’ll be hiring someone with teaching/education experience if we’re not in school FT in the fall.
Post by traveltheworld on Jun 10, 2020 12:35:25 GMT -5
k3am, both DH and I are equally stressed about the possiblity of DD not being able to go to "normal" kindergarten. Neither of us are stressed about DS as we think he'll be fine either way.
mommyatty, I LOVE WFH too! Especially now that we have our nanny back. I get to have meals with the kids and look into what they are working on throughout the day. My company does have a very flexbile policy, but my boss does not. He hates WFH, so we think our group will be among the first to go back when the office opens up; which makes no sense. We are lawyers, all of us can work remotely. But that's not how he sees it.
k3am, If DH had to worry about school, he would begin the morning of. Or maybe after DS got a 30% on his report card.
mommyatty,I too love working from home. I have on t-shirt and shorts. I can sleep until 630 and still have time to work out and have breakfast. I go for walks with DD and get to talk to everyone during the day. My boss called today, and I was afraid it was to get us back, but not so far. I hope this will open people's eyes about working from home, but I doubt it.
k3am, Nope DH keeps saying that it is too early to worry. Except it isn't....it is totally time to worry. I won't find out until July if I am teaching on campus in the fall at the university, but I think that it is likely that I will be. If the school district does fully virtual in the fall it is likely that I will pull the kids and send them to private school if they are in person. If they are going part time virtual and part time in class, then I am hiring a nanny for the days that they don't have class, to help them with the e-learning. And likely do other supplemental activities (like DS just finished second grade, and during the e-learning we worked our way through 2 3rd grade math books). I don't think that he is worrying because he knows that I will be the one to have to deal with it. Which is why I am worrying.
k3am, my husband is delpoyed so he doesn't care at all. I need school. I need school I need school. Our state seems to be leaning towards in person school and a virtual option for those who would rather not send their kids.
I honestly thing that is the best you can do. It isn't fair to pennalize students and parents that cannont support homeschool. We can, but it is miserable, but If I had a job where I had to go in to make money I have no idea what I would have done.
Post by supertrooper1 on Jun 10, 2020 13:05:39 GMT -5
Ex-H is only worried because he's a teacher so it directly affects him. I want school because not only does DS need the socialization, but I can't believe how little participation there has been among families in my area. There are two other kids in DS's reading group and they are always on the reading group Google video chat, but DS is one of maybe two or three other kids that calls into the other video calls. I don't know how many are actually doing the school work, but I doubt it's very many.
I was going to post it in the updates thread, but we are still staying close to 600-700 cases a day. This might seem like a lot, but considering we were at 2000-4000 a day, it means we are going down and staying there. It's been since May 29 that we went to phase 3. If it continues we will go to Phase 4 on June 26 and open up our building. I am exciting to see that it isn't spiking. However, it hasn't been 14 days yet, and we did have protests.
As far as school I try not to think about it. If I think about it I mildly freak out. Since we are opening to the public working from home is not a viable option, but I might be able to squeak out 1 day a week. On June 22, I am moving to 9-4 Mon-Thurs. I'm not even asking my boss or mentioning childcare, I don't think. I'm just going to schedule myself since I do the scheduling for myself and 2 departments. Phase 4 opens up schools, but the state has not released guidelines for phase 4 yet. It's hard to open to the public without them, but mostly we will still be following Phase 3 guidelines, but more staff in the building.
DH just says they have to open schools, so I don't think he is freaked out. But just because he says they have to, doesn't mean it will actually happen. He's been behind the curve with prepping, masks, and didn't believe me when I told him a shutdown was happening. But he was ahead of me with summer plans cancelling.
Dear ExMIL, I see your crazy continues... You won't see your grandkids, even outdoors with masks and safely distanced, because you are trying to stay safe and quarantined. But you're hosting classes in your in-home sewing studio with perfect strangers, where you all sit around a table that is not big enough for you to be 6 feet apart and everyone is touching all the fabric, machines, tools, etc. Makes perfect sense. Signed, Majorly rolling my eyes
k3am, DH isn't concerned about school in the fall but he doesn't worry about anything.
mommyatty, add me to the list of pushing our company for more family friendly and flexible work arrangements. The conversation with my boss didn't go well yesterday. We are back to the office and they aren't wanting to do any WFH if they can help it. It doesn't make any sense since we were so productive and we can do our jobs remote. It's really frustrating that they don't want to embrace the change that is coming esp when I hear about all the companies around us that are indefinitely WFH.
mellym, here’s my kicker. I’m the head of sustainability! And wfh is such a sustainability win. If you look at the three pillars of sustainability, People, Planet, and Profit, it’s a positive for all three. Lower emissions and less need for highways because of decreased traffic, flexibility and increased safety from not driving for employees, and it’s cheaper for the company because I’m paying for the electricity and water to flush the toilet and toilet paper I use for 50 hrs a week and I’m providing my own space so there’s less need for office space.
My job is in flux for the fall, because the university hasn't decided whether courses will be in person or remote in the fall. They are planning to decide sometime in July. I really hope that I get to teach on campus in the fall, largely because I think that the students retained quite a bit more when we were in person. And quite frankly, its way less work than teaching online. It makes me nervous though, because one of the classes that I teach overlaps with our early release (every dang week) Mondays. I just would like some more information and certainty. But, then again, I'm also not allowed back in my research building yet, since march.
So I am not going to lie, I love working from home. LOVE IT. I will be continuing for the next 3 months. Our company did something right by its employes and opened things back up that had to have people on site, and basically told everyone else telemcommute is happening until sept. This way we don't hurt the parents who don't have childcare.
They then said that flex work will be encourged from here on out and that will be the new norm!. I hope I can WFH 2-3 days a week and in the office 2-3 days.
We just got an update that my company will likely be returning to work in "staggered patterns" in the "latter half" of the year, and that we won't be full-time back in the office until a vaccine is developed.
And my sister's school announced they're officially going with an alternating half in school / half out of school schedule. I'm terrified of what's coming next for us. She fully expects many of her students to drop out and enroll in a program designed for distance learning and many others to just only participate in school when they're in the classroom. Which is basically where I think most people end up.
Signed, JUST UGH.
Dear WPs,
I know I'm not the only one with anxiety over what the school year looks like, but I am curious.. are your SO's also freaking out? Because DH is.. not. I don't know if it's a "him" thing, a "me" thing, a general "male" thing, or just the fact that in our house, the majority of the kid related stuff falls on my shoulders. But I do know that I haven't heard many friends talk about their spouses being equally concerned or engaged in schooling while it was still in session.
Signed, Frustrated.
We fall in the same pattern. Thinking about split schedules next year gives me major anxiety. Dh is much more whatever about it but then makes blanket statements like “we should go to private school” and “we need to be first on the list!” but then is soooo slow to actually think about it and make a decision. It drives me bonkers.
sandandsea, I told DH I can not and will not be the one to facilitate distance learning this fall. Our district is not set up for it and 50-75% of my week was devoted to it. Because the way the economy was working at the time, I was able to handle it, but work has ramped up so much that I'm finding less time to come up for air, even with the kids at daycare.
So our options are we put them in private school, we hire someone (not sure WHO!), or DD can do 100% of her learning on the 40% of days that she's in class and we say screw the rest.
sandandsea, k3am, are there any colleges/ universities by you? If we go to a split schedule, we will likely hire a college student (some sort of education major), to nanny as well as cover the schooling on the off days. Our summer nanny is also a college student, which so far has been nice, but looking at her birthdate for paperwork made me realize just how old I am.
sandandsea My DH doesn't seem too worried about it, and most of it will fall on him as his company seems to be transitioning to WFH permanently. But, in Indiana, I would be really surprised if our kids didn't go back to school in a mostly normal, Pre COVID fashion.
phdmomma, we have a state school and a private school nearby, so that's an option. Just... expensive. Because most nannies want $20-25/hour, so we'd be looking at close to $2k for one child, whereas we usually buddget $850/month for before and aftercare.
DS would need fulltime care on the weeks that DD would be in school, so we'd either keep him in preschool (which is open full time 8-5), or need to pay a nanny to cover those other days for an additional cost of roughly the same cost as what we pay for preschool.
If we could potentially get on the same on/off schedule as our neighbors son, he and DD could split a nanny/tutor type person, but I'm not sure that cost is in their budget, since mom is on teacher salary.
k3am the way I’m handling anxiety about next year is also that I won’t be the one doing any distance learning, regardless.
My two younger kids will stay in preschool/in home daycare, so that cost of about $30k per year stays the same. Even if we have a nanny a few days a week for my older kids, I won’t be pulling them out.
For the older two kids, I figure private schools here would cost us at least $30k for 2 kids.I’m thinking that if we hire someone for 8 hours a day, 3 days a week, at $20 an hour, and assume 40 weeks of school, that’s under $20k. It’s way more than the $5500 a year I spend normally on aftercare for the older kids, but still a lot less than private school. And maybe we end up doing some kind of share with other families, or maybe school goes back more normally at some point in the year, or maybe there’s some cheaper aftercare-like childcare solution that we can use for one or two days and concentrate on having them do school not for the full 3 days. Our non school days would not really be distance learning - it would just be homework packets.
There’s no way to plan any of this till we know what’s going to happen, but I’m pretty confident that I can find someone to help them with school if necessary, and also that DH and I could each continue to work from home once a week if we wanted to have someone do school with them half days and stick them in front of screens in the afternoon or something to save money...or maybe we find someone with real teaching experience who costs more than $20 an hour and we manage to do some combo of that person and a cheaper high school babysitter for afternoons....
I also told DH maybe we should move to another state that reopens schools normally if CA doesn’t We definitely did not plan on paying for essentially FT childcare for 4 kids at the same time.