can we be bratty with each other?

[jennistarr1]

But seriously I'm having to find ways to say "please just stick to my registry"

First, my coworker wanted to send me a few ideas of things I didn't register for. It appears that my coworkers are trying to find a 50$ gift they can chip in on. First of all, this coworker just had a shower of her own where I personally bought her a 40$ gift, all the decorations for the shower, and food. A 50$ gift means about 3$ from each person....but that is really bratty I know. But everything she suggested are things I just don't need (different baby activity centers which I already have from hand me downs or consignment and just don't have room for)

Then my sister asks me "someone wants to know what size maternity pajamas you wear" and I want to right back "I don't". 

With baby #1, I got SO much stuff not on my registry and ended up needing to buy a good amount of registry stuff myself. I had 3 totes of things that I took back first to babies r us, then target, then walmart. The stuff I was stuck with I tried to use but ended up giving away. The chore of returning stuff and the room that all this stuff took up soured me...as much as I tried to remain grateful.  I've learned that I tend to be a baby minimalist and try to focus on the stuff I need. As such, my registry is pretty practical. Pacifiers, bottles, bath stuff, breastfeeding stuff

Plus, we have a small house and we've gone through and tried to purge SO much just to make room. Like we've really worked our butts off on this and that process alone is so overwhelming so I think this just adds to those feelings.  

Again, I really try to remain grateful, especially with everything going on in the world this is a classic first world problem and I feel like a brat. But since they asked, I need to come up with a response and debating just saying "I'll be happy with whatever" or being honest and saying "I really need x,y, and z"

[CrazyLucky]

tell them you have a lot of stuff left over from the first kid. If they don't want to get something off your registry, ask for diapers or gift cards.

[seeyalater52]

I don’t think it’s bratty at all. I think unsolicited commenting on what people have on their registries is kind of rude.

My bratty comment of the day: I’ve already gained nearly 30lbs at 24 weeks. My doctor isn’t super worked up about it and baby is measuring way ahead and is huge so that is partly responsible, but damn. I feel like a whale and my back hurts. I already eat a decently healthy diet and the thought of having to clean it up more makes me feel sad and depressed. Plus I’m worried I have GD (going for my test in the next week I think.) Ugh.

[madDawg228]

jennistarr1, I would be annoyed with that kind of ignoring of my registry too. I would try to repeatedly mention with any potential gift-giver conversations - small house/space issue, 2nd child needs, and gift cards/food delivery options are awesome. Being blunt is sometimes needed, imo.

seeyalater52, sending you low glucose vibes for your upcoming test, I hope you pass with flying colors and are able to avoid the 3-hr test. Remind yourself that you are growing a healthy baby and healthy placenta - at least that's what I remind myself when I see the scale # and new stretch marks.

Bratty comment - I realize this is bratty because so many Americans do not receive ANY paid family leave. If this is a sore point for you right now, feel free to skip my rant.
My HR rep is pissing me off. She's leaving the company at the end of July - after baby is born, but way before I come back from leave. She's been lazy and not thorough when it comes to WA State's new Family Leave policy. As the birth giver, I am eligible for both 12 weeks of Family Bonding Leave and one-day to four-weeks of Medical Leave (depending on birth experience, I'm hoping for an extra week or so). She keeps claiming that the company only has to give me 12 weeks off, no more. I'm tired of arguing with her, I will still file the medical claim with the state's Employment Security Dept, and the company can fight with them if they want to.

[tacoflavoredkisses]

jennistarr1 I don’t think it’s bratty. It’s a lot of work to try to deal with returns and I’ve found that stores aren’t always as forgiving as they used to be with returning gifts. I made a small registry for baby (since were having a boy and our first is a girl, we sort of want some non pink things for his nursery) and we’ve had family buy us random things we do not need (like a giant elephant pillow mat?).

I definitely am just whiny about how rough I feel physically. Up until 16 weeks it was just the horrifying morning sickness and now at 21+2 I’m just physically worn out. My pelvis aches and I’m just in a lot more discomfort earlier than I remember with DD. That was almost 5 years ago, so I feel like some of it could be that I’m older now (mid 30s versus just turning 30). But man, it’s tough.

[somersault72]

jennistarr1, not even pregnant but that drives me NUTS. My family never wants to buy off a registry, yet whenever anyone has an event they all create a registry. I always buy off the registry. We received a 0-3m snowsuit at my shower for DD. I was due in JUNE. Hopefully if nothing else, you get lots of diapers. We didn't have to buy diapers until DD was like 9 months old and it was AWESOME.

[Susie]

I think I would literally add a $50 GC to my registry in this scenario. Plus maybe some diapers and wipes.

<-- petty

[verycontrary247]

I'd be super annoyed too. Why do people insist on buying stuff you don't want? Especially shit like pajamas. "No, I'm not going to tell you what my clothes size is so you can buy me something I'm not interested in and will never wear."


My bratty addition:

We were not planning on having any kind of baby shower because of covid concerns and a bunch of our close friends are furloughed/laid off due to covid. We're lucky both E and I have still been working the whole time, but I was still a little bummed since it's our first.

Like 2 months ago my sister badgered me about doing just a family shower. I was okay with that idea because my family has all been responsible about social distancing.

Also about a month ago it became common knowledge at work that I'm pregnant and the admin women said they wanted to throw me a work shower. I've only been there since March, so I said they didn't need to, but she was insistent. She asked for my registry information, I gave it to her.

Since both of these proposals, I've heard nothing. In the grand scheme of things, it shouldn't make a huge difference whether either group actually follows through and hosts a shower because we were originally planning on just buying everything ourselves, but I don't want to buy it all if someone else wants to.

Our registry completion discount starts in a few days, but you only get 2 transactions, so I'm feeling torn between wanting to just buy shit and feel prepared or wait.