I am so fucking annoyed.

[nospaekae]

LOL to 50 children in a shoe.

Reality hits and it all comes tumbling down.

[ssmjlm]

Why does he think this is your issue?

You made your bed, go sleep in it with her 4 kids!

[expatjen]

His mom sounds great. 👏

He sounds like the man-child he is. 🙄 Geez, put on some big boy undies and just figure it out. Not so difficult.

[sofamonkey]

New phone, who dis?

But seriously, I’d just not reply anything besides silence, or “OK” because I’m fucking petty.

[pinkplasticdoll]

Will a "cool story bro" be a reasonable response to him?

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2020 14:06:19 GMT -5 sofamonkey said:

New phone, who dis?

But seriously, I’d just not reply anything besides silence, or “OK” because I’m fucking petty.

I'm here. I wouldn't be replying to him at all, and if I did, it would simply be "figure it out". L oh L that he thinks that this is your problem to fix. 

[wildrice]

Aug 3, 2020 14:07:38 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Dying that he contacted you with this.

Yeah, is he angling for an invitation to come back to your house? Otherwise I don't see how this is your problem to solve. He is going to have to get used to making decisions on his own and figuring his own shit out. 

I don't know the laws in your state, but do you have a legal right to bar him from your home? I would actually check on that honestly. If he has nowhere to go and you won't let him into the house that he's paying for, that might come back to bite you in the legal settlement. I don't know this for sure, which is why I'm suggesting you check just in case. Hopefully that won't be an issue. 

[kadams767]

LOLZFOREVER at a shelter. Like cheating husbands are a special needs population and there are shelters just waiting to fill their beds with men like him. FFS, what a child.

[bronxgirl]

I'm impressed with his parents for not giving in and letting him stay there. Pathetic that he's asking you.

[atexan]

Actions have consequences, fool.

[spindle92]

He actually suggested that YOU go stay with your parents?
Oh hell no!

[TR]

lol what an asshole. But I'm so not surprised that he's making this your problem, it's not like he's taken responsibility for anything so far. I'd stop replying. But, like wildrice said, I might find out if there's a legal issue with not letting him in the house. It sucks if there is, but I could see that possibly being the case.

But if you DO legally have to let him in the house, I think we could brainstorm some ways to make that VERY unpleasant for him.

[cmeon]

I will be so happy for you when this child is completely out of your hair. Please tell him to go fuck himself in any location that doesn't involve you (because you are DONE).

[followyourarrow]

OMG that he thinks he can make this your problem. No sir, be an adult and figure out your own mess.

[flygirl]

Oh wow.
It would be even better if the side piece told him he couldn’t stay with her either.

You’re nicer than me if you are considering his idea. I would have said “not my problem anymore.” Doesn’t he realize he needs to get his own place? Damn, what a child. And I love his mom.

[lucybrown]

Fascinating that finding an apartment of his own isn't on his list of options, but coming home is.   It's cute he still thinks he can talk his way out of this. 

[claudiajean]

I feel like he's trying to guilt you. "I guess I'll just sleep in my car." "Sounds good, have fun!"

[stephm0188]

I love that he can't stay with his family. The passive aggressive "woe is me, you want me to sleep on the streets" thing is as equally amusing. What a baby.

[flex]

I agree that he's totally angling for you to feel sorry for him, and that he's a big friggin' baby. What a moron.

[killercupcake]

Life comes at you fast, bro.

I love his mom.

[goldengirlz]

We’re all annoyed on your behalf.

It sounds like he thinks this is some temporary thing, not his new normal.

He needs a place to live, not a place to crash. He makes money; he should use it to rent somewhere.

[verycontrary247]

Response: "Anywhere but here. Good luck!"

Do not let this asshole drive you out of your house because he's too dumb/lazy to figure out another place to stay.

[dragon's breath]

"Anywhere but here."

Does he still have a key? If so, and you haven't changed your locks, I'd go ahead and do that.

[picksthemusic]

Good on his mom. He deserves the raft of shit coming his way.

[TR]

Aug 3, 2020 14:33:59 GMT -5 dragon's breath said:

"Anywhere but here."

Does he still have a key? If so, and you haven't changed your locks, I'd go ahead and do that.

For the cheap seats: Legally, you can't do this. This is bad advice that gets given a lot. Don't do that.

[BlondeSpiders]

Hobag McGee and 50 Children In Her Shoe is my new band name.


Fuuuuuuuuck that guy. What a whiny bitch.

[sofamonkey]

Aug 3, 2020 14:36:17 GMT -5 capscapscaps said:

I can't legally bar him from the house without some kind of restraining order. And I don't need to go that far. This is so fucking obnoxious.

No, but you can:
Rent a storage place, hire movers to take all couches, beds, anything else one might reasonably be comfortable sleeping on in said storage unit. #pettyparty

[abs]

I love his mom.

My response would be "here's a quarter. Go call someone who cares."

I mean actions have consequences. His problem, not yours!!

[eddy]

WHAT AN EEYORE!!!

I mean the nerve to come to you with his sad sack story.

[TR]

Aug 3, 2020 14:46:10 GMT -5 sofamonkey said:

Aug 3, 2020 14:36:17 GMT -5 capscapscaps said:

I can't legally bar him from the house without some kind of restraining order. And I don't need to go that far. This is so fucking obnoxious.

No, but you can:
Rent a storage place, hire movers to take all couches, beds, anything else one might reasonably be comfortable sleeping on in said storage unit. #pettyparty

See? Here we go, I like the start of our brainstorming already.