So tonight my school board will vote to decide if we start school this Wednesday, or two weeks from now. I am stress eating today. Oh, and up until Friday it was either you are 100% virtual or 100% in person, your choice. Friday they threw out a "maybe we'll switch the in person model to a hybrid" - but again, we won't know until tonight. I am so over the waffling back and forth and having no idea how to plan my life.
Challenging weekend. DS was an hour late coming home, no call no anything. I go to where Life 360 says he is, he is not there. Come to find out, his phone and keys fell out of his shorts. Thankfully, his phone fell out in a friends car, hence it being where he is not, but there is no Life 360 for keys. The keys to BILs truck that he had to borrow since his is perpetually broken. I find him at his other friend's house - thanks to the information from the friend - wandering around in the yard looking for keys and phone. Keys have never been found, but thankfully BIL has a spare. DS is currently grounded from his phone and going anywhere except working with the neighbor. He thinks it is a valid excuse that he lost everything so I shouldn't be mad, because if he hadn't lost everything, he would have been on time. I may have yelled a lot, and cussed a bit. I thought DH would blow, but he was like, seemed like you did a fine job at it. Thankfully, the chip fell off his shoulder later in the weekend and he apologized. I told him his senior year can be fun and peaceful, or it can be a battle, I am prepared for either one, his choice.
I did get to hangout in the backyard of a friend around a fire so that was nice Saturday.
I found out this morning that we won an award that I was in charge of the application for. It was due back in the thick of homeschool/WFH/peak crisis times and I had submitted it about 10 minutes before the midnight deadline. I was really worried I blew it. Apparently not! Phew!
My kids are off meeting beau's ex wife right now, which feels weird but ok. I guess his son really, really wanted to introduce my kids to his mom, which I think is super sweet. He wants the important people in his life to meet each other. It's just like how my kids wanted exH to meet beau on their birthday. So beau came to grab the girls before going to pick up his son so they can all meet. As messy and awful as our exes can be, I'm really grateful that beau and I can both put on a good face for all the kids. It's a relief that fighting happens behind the scenes.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Aug 10, 2020 11:41:25 GMT -5
This weekend I determined that we are not going on a trip before school starts and I'm a little sad. So to make up for it I booked a beach house for columbus day/harvest day weekend when the kids are out. It's very optimistic of me to book that far out with all this mess looming but I did it anyway.
Does anyone know if VRBO trip insurance will cover you if you actually catch covid so can't go? I did get the trip insurance because of hurricanes, but also the flash on the screen that recommended it said if you are diagnosed by a doctor with COVID, trip insurance will likely cover it (not talking about the general threat of covid, which I assume would not be covered).
It was not a great weekend, and shaping up to be not a great week. Kids are home with me instead of camping. DD1 spent Saturday and 1/2 of yesterday alternating between sobbing and screaming at me for ruining her trip/summer/life. She finally course corrected and aside from some bumps, she’s doing a good job.
DD2 is... not. Screaming, tantrums, torturing DD1. For most of yesterday, I only let them out of their rooms in opposite 30 minute shifts. Once they could interact without an argument, I let them play a board game. Then swim. But this morning has undone all of it. Back to shifts.
I was hoping that if they could pull it together, I could drive to meet DH and let them camp for the 2nd half of the week. But I don’t think I can do it. Maybe for DD1, but not DD2, and I don’t think it will go well driving 6 hours round trip to meet DH with DD2 in the car and no reward at the end.
In the middle of all of this nonsense and school uncertainty, my sister is going in for surgery this week. She will have to wait a week for pathology to determine if it’s cancer. Then cancer or not, she’s having a second, more significant surgery after the first.
We got back from our trip last night. It was only one state north, but would have been a 15+ hour drive with a screaming newborn, so we flew and it went fine. Fingers crossed we all stay healthy.
It was a really great week of hiking to waterfalls, hanging on a secluded lake, front yard slip n slide and time with close friends. Baby also started sleeping 10 hours most nights, which was amazing.
I’m really glad we got away for a little bit before virtual school starts and I go back to work full time remotely next week. A week from today the baby starts in home daycare, the toddler starts preschool, and the two older kids start our pod/virtual learning.
DD turns 8 Saturday and is getting her own room for her bday, so I need to keep cleaning it out this week. Her new bunk beds come tomorrow, along with the desks and chairs we ordered for the pod - which will be in another family’s garage. I also have two virtual client board meetings this week, even though I’m still technically on maternity leave. So it will be busy.
Weekend was weird. DD was up at my sisters "helping" with party prep. DH and I helped the neighbor replace some siding on their house Saturday. Then DH decided since no DD we could go over to the coast for a picnic dinner and walk the beach for sunset. Grabbed a chicken meal from the grocery store and drinks and drove the hour to the coast. At dinner in the truck on the bay and watched the boats come in. Then walked for 30 minutes on a deserted beach. 60 degrees with 30mph winds means we got sandblasted the entire walk. Ended up watching the sunset from a pull off from the truck. It was the first time we've done a date like that in a long time and it was really nice.
Sunday I went up to my sister's early to help. Lets say within 10 minutes of getting there I was ready to go home. Sis was yelling at DD because DD wasn't controlling her dog. Sis was yelling at the dog for running around and being a puppy. I got the dog to come to me and put his leash, looped him to a chair and handed DD a snack as Sis forgot to make lunch so we could just wait until the party at 3. The dog pulled the chair over with DD in it. The dog's b-day party was from 3-5 we left at 4:30 to go home. Come to find out from DD the only party prep they did on Saturday was make the cupcakes and the dog cake. On Sunday they mowed the grass, picked up apples and dog poop, decorated the house, and had to clean the house. So yep Sis was tried and cranky and said she is never doing another party because they are too much work.
So tonight my school board will vote to decide if we start school this Wednesday, or two weeks from now. I am stress eating today. Oh, and up until Friday it was either you are 100% virtual or 100% in person, your choice. Friday they threw out a "maybe we'll switch the in person model to a hybrid" - but again, we won't know until tonight. I am so over the waffling back and forth and having no idea how to plan my life.
Our school board finally announced a couple weeks ago they would push the start date back 8 days and also start the first month virtually. But that’s all the info we have. So even though we know the plan, we don’t know basically anything else so we still can’t plan our life at all. So be prepared to still feel like you know nothing after they announce whatever.
Same @mrsgreeko. We know we're going back full time in person but they haven't posted any safety plans or protocols.
Weekend was very productive. They finished the drywall and texture in the basement on Friday. We cleaned out the basement, DH painted the home gym, finished electrical and is half way through laying the flooring. It's starting to come together. DH cut down some tree branches so we had that to clean up as well and then cleaned out the garage because why not!? Also, all the laundry, ordered our groceries for our beach trip next week and started our packing to do lists. My parents came over for dinner Saturday (Dad's leg is healing well) and our neighbors stopped by Sunday afternoon and asked us if we wanted to drop the brooms and come boating - we jumped at it and had a fun time on the water.
This is our last week of summer camp. I have all the feels thinking about DD2 starting K and saying goodbye to her friends and teachers that she's been seeing every day since she was a baby.
I am 100% confident in the fact that if our district pushed back the start date by a week (or even a year), we would still be scrambling the days before school started...
I was PMSing this weekend and super anxious about school starting, so it wasn't the best weekend. My co-workers daughter got a positive Covid test. Luckily the co-worker was out on vacation, so no contact at work, but I was worried about their test results and their health. I'm not sure if they isolated her, so now the entire family is getting tested.
Our friends came to visit, so that was nice. I thought we were going to go somewhere Sunday, but DH started doing yardwork, so I broke out the pool and slip n slide for the kids. DS put dirt in the pool to make mud which made me mad because it took an hour to fill. I thought I could leave them unsupervised in there for a while (pool is not any deeper than the bathtub just bigger), but not if it means that kind of crap.
Saturday was dog training, and Friday we had a tree taken down. Very exciting weekend- not! I'm kind of glad to be back to work even though every 2 seconds I get another question, and people might be quitting over their anxiety of Covid.
madringal, we know everyone is e-learning and have for a couple weeks. Still no idea what that means and I'm starting to develop some anxiety around school starting up in 4 weeks.
I've started having DD do some school stuff to try and get back into the groove. She has been reading a zoo book magazine and then I've made up 5-6 questions. Today's zoo book was on hippos. 1st question was "Where do hippos live?" DD's answer: Hippos live in Africa. She writes so much like I do and my brother short and to the point which is the opposite of what all of her teachers have wanted her to do. How do you get someone to write more when the 4 word sentence answers the question?
madringal, we know everyone is e-learning and have for a couple weeks. Still no idea what that means and I'm starting to develop some anxiety around school starting up in 4 weeks.
I've started having DD do some school stuff to try and get back into the groove. She has been reading a zoo book magazine and then I've made up 5-6 questions. Today's zoo book was on hippos. 1st question was "Where do hippos live?" DD's answer: Hippos live in Africa. She writes so much like I do and my brother short and to the point which is the opposite of what all of her teachers have wanted her to do. How do you get someone to write more when the 4 word sentence answers the question?
Lol. When my oldest was in 2nd grade her teacher kept trying to challenge her to write more complex sentences and stories. For one assignment she needed to get to get to a second page. So she wrote her story and on the second page she wrote “and that’s all I want to tell you about this subject.” It was hilarious!
madringal, my brother had tiny neat handwriting. His teacher did the same thing. He wrote in giant letters so his 5 sentences took the entire page and wrote The End and his name all fancy on the 2nd page. I was always too afraid to do something like that but would just sit and cry over my paper because I had nothing more to write. My little sister writes me a book in a text message.
Today I woke up a bit more optimistic. But also apparently there were riots overnight, and everyone’s anxiety at work about Covid is in overdrive.
Then just when you think the afternoon might go OK a tornado came through. We are all fine, but we lost power at work and had to close. Ugh 2020, can you just end already?
Welp, it has changed again. No in person learning until September 28. Dd is devastated. Ds is resigned. I thought the hybrid was workable. I don't think Ds or I are going to make it through senior year.
186momx, DD’s second grade teacher just mandated that they had to write at least 4 sentences on any writing assignment. You could just say you want two sentences or whatever per question.
Sorry about all the crap, waverly! Our cases are now going down in SoCal. Enough so that we’re getting close to the below 100 cases per 100,000 that would allow the county off the watch lists and schools could open in person if districts wanted - but then of course the state says there’s some data glitch and they won’t be moving any counties on or off the watch list for now.
I have a feeling we’re all going to constantly cycle between our areas improving, people getting complacent, cases going up, then people get serious about it and cases go down again, then repeat.
Hey everybody. PDQ It’s been pretty rough over here.
My sisters are very unsupportive and telling me I should try harder and keep implying that I’m selfish and should focus more on the kids. One rolls her eyes and says self care is nonsense. They both judge me for exercising-lots of passive aggressive comments about how I have the time for that.
One called him yesterday to tell him what a fine man and father he is. Then she called me to tell me she did and gave me all kinds of advice about how to focus more on the kids.
I thought I had my mind made up, but this lack of support from my family has thrown me into a....an I don’t even know what to call it. Now I feel like I have to keep trying. My parents do not know what’s going on, I don’t want to hurt them.
campermom I believe they can f*ck right off. I wouldn’t talk to them again about any of this. I’m so, so sorry that this happened. Don’t second guess yourself. They weren’t there. Only you know what happened and how everything made you feel.
campermom, They can go to hell. Unless they're living your exact experience, they have NO RIGHT to tell you those things. Sounds like you need a different team in your corner, because they're not the ones for you right now. I wouldn't breathe another word of the process to them, especially since they're not above calling him behind your back. If you think your parents will be helpful, I would turn to them. I wish I had told my parents more of what was happening up front. They rallied like I never expected when they finally knew what was happening.
I had to endure a lot of lectures from my ex in-laws leading up to the divorce being final. They were all about the "you have to stick it out for the kids" mantra because that's what they'd been taught. I know how hurtful it is and how much it sucks to hear people tell you you're not doing the right thing for your kids. But I guarantee that your therapist and any other therapist who is a neutral, objective person, is going to tell you that it's not a good situation and that your kids are going to thrive in a home without conflict. A two parent home isn't good for kids if it's full of stress and conflict. That does more "damage" to them than single parent homes where the parents are happier and less angry and stressed all the time.
campermom- f them. They are sick. And disgusting. Cut them off and focus on your friends who have been supportive. I would also encourage you to tell your parents. Tell them everything. Don’t sugar coat it.
campermom, Also, look up collaborative divorce and research your options there. It's like mediation on steroids. You each have a lawyer and then there's a joint CPA to make the money plan with you and a joint family/child specialist to help with the parenting plan. That way everything is a discussion and you don't have to go to court, but you are definitely a lot more protected than just a mediator.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Aug 11, 2020 8:25:18 GMT -5
campermom, what in the fresh hell? What kind of fundamentalist, prayerful woman BS is this (some assumptions on my part but that's what this feels like).
Fuck them. They clearly aren't your support people so that's fine. Cut them out.
Put them aside and find support. Tell your parents every part of what you're going through. This is not their relationship. It's YOURS. You are the one who has to live with it and you are the one who is perfectly within her rights to leave it and find happiness. Fuck them.
campermom , nope, nope, nope. You are the one living your experience, not them. Their only job in this would be to support you. If they can't do that, then they can't be part of it. Also, as someone who has had some experience with being a kid in that situation, it is not better for the kids. Also, on the exercise front, I use it to channel my stress, which is what you may be doing. Self care is important, and it makes you more resilient to handle whatever may come.
campermom, unless they live with him, they don't get a vote.
Plus let me chime in on the self care. My dad did not take care of his health or finances. This resulted in him having numerous health conditions including strokes, diabetes (also mental health issues) and in and out of nursing homes in his 50s and died at 62. I was taking care of a 1 and 3 year old and trying to take care of my dad and that lasted for 9 years. I concluded through this process one of the best things I can do for my kids is to take care of myself both physically and financially. I do not want them to be in that position trying to start their life with their new family and small children and have to take care of me too. It may not work and I may get something terrible out of my control, but I am trying to do what I can. So when I go for a run, or yoga, or whatever, I am not doing it for just myself, I am doing it for my kids also.