First day of senior year for DS. All of his classes are at the college this semester. All are online except for his public speaking class. So I sent him off at 9:00 with a mask and a hand sanitizer keychain. DD is still asleep. She doesn't start until next Wednesday and will be online through October 12.
We have all these fun traditions with the kids.. two of them being... birthday? I fill your room with balloons. First or last day of school? Pictures with a sign.
In proof of second child syndrome.. I have never forgotten DD's birthday. Or her first or last day of school. DS however, had me rushing home during lunch break to blow up balloons, and changing everyone into PJ's when we got home to pretend I didn't miss it. And his first day of Junior K? I dropped his school supplies off when I picked him up, took him home, changed his clothes, did his hair, and took his first day pictures.
My dishwasher stopped working the week before everything shut down in March. I have survived all of this pandemic BS with no dishwasher. I finally got someone to come look at it today. The verdict? Buy some extra strength cleaner stuff to run through the pump and it should fix it. If not, I need an entire new dishwasher because replacing the pump will be super expensive and parts are impossible to get for the machine I have. I'm really hoping it ends up being the cleaner fix and not the $800 new dishwasher fix...
I've also spent the few days fighting with insurance. Somehow ExH messed up insurance for the kids' well visits and their eye appointments. He made a big deal about being the hero who handled those appointments for me, it was all set, etc... Turns out, nope. He did not handle it because insurance rejected the well visit claims and the eye doctor is saying they have no record of the insurance on file. So I'm cleaning up that mess in between work projects today.
twinmomma, isn't it nice when someone "helps out" and you end up doing more work than if you'd just done it yourself??? Why is this becoming your problem though? He took them, he's responsible. He can spend the time cleaning it up.
I have my kids sleep in their clothes so getting out of the house is easier. So I took first day of school pictures Sunday night. I knew there was no way we’d get out of the house early enough to do it yesterday morning and still get the older kids to their pod by 8 am.
PDQ - I thought this one was cute. My poor boys really need haircuts. My hairdresser is coming to do them in the backyard Friday. Poof
I hate my job. I think being remote is really bringing into focus that I want to be a consultant. I love our consultants and everything they tell me about how they work. I’m really hoping I get on with one.
k3am, The bills come to me. That's how I know it all got screwed up. I got a bill for over $1,000 for well child visits and started calling to figure out WTF happened.
twinmomma , UGH. I'm sure you already did, but make sure he KNOWS. Not that it sounds like he'll care. But UGH.
That is seriously the kind of stuff that I end up shouting at DH, the kids, the universe, STOP MAKING LIFE HARDER ON ME THAN IT NEEDS TO BE.
This is exactly where I'm at. I have two vision insurance plans and they keep conflicting with each other and I am so tired of making calls. I just want the free glasses I'm entitled to and I don't want to wait another two months like they're trying to tell me I have to. Both kids are currently rocking duct tape and I want new ones in before school starts.
How do you snooze someone on Facebook? I need to snooze MIL and DH's aunt as I'm tired of all the political crap.
My work AC blows out freezing air when it runs but it doesn't really cool the office. I'm bundled up in a sweater when it is blowing and then as soon as it turns off I'm ditching my sweater. DD is wrapped up in a blanket as "her office" is freezing.
We're currently under rolling blackout advisory. They want you to not use your AC... And I'm probably a terrible person, but to me, that means.. keep the AC as low as possible so that when/if the power goes out, we have a better chance of it not being 90+ inside.
waverly our area now has a decent number of options for distance learning support available - now that it’s been a few weeks since we knew we were fully virtual and organizations had time to put them together. The YMCA is running them at two different locations, the boys and girls club is running one, and now I got an email an hour ago that the school aftercare organization just got approval and will start 8/31 (two weeks after school started for us).
If I didn’t have a first-grade boy who really needs more teaching rather than just someone to oversee it, those options would have been easier and cheaper for us. They run $200-$250 per week per kid, and go all day. Whereas we’re paying $309 per kid per week and have 1.5 hours with no care and have to shuttle the kids around.
So if you wait a bit, there may soon be more options for daytime care available.
Post by supertrooper1 on Aug 18, 2020 15:05:32 GMT -5
Today was day 2 of Teams meetings for training. I actually got up and showered before work since I knew I would be on camera today. But sadly the emails flowed in today so I'm way behind on my normal work. DS talks non-stop about nothing and it drives me nuts.
campermom I feel like he knows you “need” him for these circumstances and is taking advantage of his perceived position of “power” (using quotes because it shouldn’t be this way, he should be an equal partner in parenting them, but we know he’s not).
campermom, Maybe I sound harsh, but I think you should proceed from now on as if you do not have a partner, because you don't. Make plans according to the resources you have. That will suck, but in truth, you do not have support and maybe it would be better to make peace with that?
He had a little epiphany when he said we need each other and I very clearly and calmly said, no. I don’t need you anymore. I have a good job. I’ll be ok.
campermom, I was going to say the same thing as rere. When I stopped expecting ExH to step up in the ways I needed and just did things myself, my life was a lot calmer and happier. (See my Tuesday random re: him screwing up several doctors visits recently...)
I kind of compartmentalized and just dealt with him as little as possible before we filed and made everything official. It made it easier for me to come to terms with the fact that I could definitely handle things on my own and life was actually easier/better that way.
campermom - it feels like you need some kind of separation agreement so that you can divide the childcare responsibilities. It’s 100% unfair that you have to continue to shoulder 100% of the burden, even if you can work from home.
campermom, I know you aren't the only staff member who is in this boat. Can you talk to your coworkers and see if you go together to the district and present your problem. I don't get why your kids can't come with you and be locked in your classroom/offices at the school while you teachers work. I know here it is still open to discussion if teachers need to virtually teach on campus or not but if they do they already got the go ahead for school age children to accompany their teacher parents.
I don't count on my DH to do any pick up/drop offs, sick days, virtual school at all. He works for a small company and his boss is old school (wife does the child care) philosophy and DH was raised to think the same way. Sometimes DH gets pissed when I can't do something and make arrangements for DD and don't consult him but I just throw back that I can't count on him to do anything so he is the last choice in the village of help. He has been going out and picking DD up from practice the last couple weeks but I think that is more because he wants an excuse to get out of the house.
Yeah, I guess if you have to come in bring them with you. I think you need to straight up talk to the principal.
I wish that your H would take the leave and understand what it is like to be the default parent, and come to a new understanding and appreciation. However, based on his anger over being asked for 1 day or 1 half afternoon- I don't see it actually happening. Which sucks.
DH always put his job first- at least it seems like it, and he even reached out to HR about FMLA under FFCRA. Apparently he doesn't qualify because they have over 500 employees. Why is there a max employee rule? I think feds are different.
campermom, you are not the only working mom in your district that has issues with it. I guarantee you. Our district was adamant that teachers had to come in to teach, even though the students are remote. They had the option of bringing their kids with them. Some teachers were okay with this, a some were horribly upset by it, and I'm sure the majority of them fell somewhere in between. At the 11th hour (literally.. 11 hours in advance), the district gave the teachers the option to teach from home. Most teachers that we know of personally.. aren't though. They're in class. Their kids are set up in reading labs and other free spaces, and it seems to be going okay for the ones we talk to. FX it works out for you.
On the husband topic though.. I would not rely on your husband taking leave. I know there are two sides of every story, but from what you've posted here, he's not a good partner. He doesn't want to and he's being a complete dickwad about it. If you rely on him, you are setting yourself up for failure. I would not expect him to take leave and have it magically build empathy. *IF* he were to do it, it would more than likely just make him even more resentful.
I would keep documentation of every time you've asked him to help, his refusal to, and the fact that he has 40+ DAYS of sick time he could utilize. I am 99.9% confident that this is not a case of him not knowing the policies at work. This is him just caring about himself only because you've carried the burden 100% for too long.
campermom, He is trying to manipulate you into thinking that you need him, Don't be surprised if he uses these pleas and percived slights agaisnt you. You know what he says to your face, double it and you will have what he tells his laywer. Double that and you will have what he tells his family and friends. Just be prepared.
Start working as is if he is gone. Ask him one time each time you need help. record the answer and move on. Have a back up in place. DO NOT PLEAD WITH HIM. When he starts belittling you either pull out a recording device or walk away. I reccomend recording.