Can I be slightly bitchy about my H?

[Doc_Lobster]

I might DD this.

He worked at the same place for 17 years. It was a pretty cushy gig, and of course he was treated well because his bosses had known him for almost two decades. He used to complain about it a lot, but I think he really had no idea how good he had it there (and I used to work there, so I know).

He is having a really hard time adjusting to new places of employment after our move. He found a job right away when we got here, and hated it. It was the worst place on earth. Horrible. Worst job ever, awful environment, etc. So he found something new. Now this place is the worst place on earth and the last job wasn't that bad. Almost good, in fact.

He does have some legit gripes about his current employer (being kind of screwed over on his hours and having to work lots of OT), but to be honest, a lot of the things he is complaining about sound to me like pretty much par for the course for jobs in his industry. I have had a few, I should know.

I'm trying to be supportive and understanding, but a big part of me wants to tell him that this is how it is for probably half of the country and that he needs to just sack up and learn how to deal.

[mountaingirl]

I can't imagine working someplace that long and then going somewhere else!
DH is never happy where he is either.
Can you talk to him to find out what exactly his beef is with the place? Remind him it's going to be a huge adjustmet to work anywhere after all that time. I'm sure he was very comfotable at his old place and knew the ins and outs of everything, nothing will measure up.
Good luck!

[psyck]

My DH has been complaining about his job for a couple of years at least. So he finally gets fed up enough to take a new job, about three weeks ago. Yeah, he's been complaining about the new job. I'm having a very hard time biting my tongue about it.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Omg. I feel your pain. DH is the only person on earth who a) has to work and b) work at a job he sometimes doesn't like. It's so boring, listening to his bullshit sometimes.

[Doc_Lobster]

I've tried to have that talk with him, gently.

I understand that it is a huge adjustment, which is why I am trying so hard to be supportive, but he is starting to talk about quitting this job.

He doesn't like how he is treated (he had a lot of respect at his last job), his bosses don't listen to him, etc.

I am worried that he is going to be like this forever. No job will ever be good enough. I have tried telling him for years that he was very lucky to have his job, that there are almost none like that left anywhere, and he would agree with me but I don't think he really understood what I was saying.

[Doc_Lobster]

Sept 22, 2012 20:47:43 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Omg. I feel your pain. DH is the only person on earth who a) has to work and b) work at a job he sometimes doesn't like. It's so boring, listening to his bullshit sometimes.

Mmmmm-hm. No one else has stress, and being under stress at work is totally unreasonable.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Dh's mom is just like this, too. And then I feel guilty for loving my job. But thankfully he's gone back to school to try something he really wants to do. He better get fucking rich as hell doing it, too. I've put up with some garbage here, I require diamonds.

[Doc_Lobster]

I do not feel guilty about loving my job, I worked my damn ass off to get into the position of finding a job that I enjoy, while he always took the path of least resistance and ignored my warnings that he was going to deeply regret not getting some kind of different training before we moved (and of course, we knew we would move at the end of grad school so he had 5 years of warning).

And now i am on my second glass of wine and starting to get a little bitter. I need to check that before he gets home.

Fortunately, starting next fall he can get free tuition from my university. Although I am afraid that will just end up being "I hate it! It's too stressful! Worst thing ever! I want to quit!"

[daniebob]

I know how you feel. DH used to complain about his job every day. Every job is a horrible job, no matter how well it pays, etc. It sounds bitchy, but I finally got fed up and told him to stop complaining if he's not going to do anything to fix the problem. I put it nicer than that, though. He still tells me about real problems at work, but the general bitching has stopped.

[Doc_Lobster]

It's like the work version of the man cold.

[mountaingirl]

I have a friend who has worked at maybe two places her whole life. The rest of the time she was in school or just didn't work (we are 33). Her H has a good job, great benefits, she is able to stay at home with the kids. If he works 40 hours earlier in the week he comes home pretty early on Friday even though he is salaried. They are able to go see his family for a week at a time at least 2x a year (week long). Holidays off, weekends off. Just a pretty good job. He works for a utility company though. If there are storms he has to clear trees. Last winter was super mild and I don't thin he stayed extra at all (first winter at job). We had some pretty severe storms 2 months or so ago and he worked 70 hours that week. She was furious that he could not leave early that Friday or get time off the next week

I was talking to her about it and pointed out all the great all around benefits. In this economy and day, you can't have it all. She still thought it was nuts he had to work so much even though that's his job! That's how it goes sister. She unfortunately has a distorted sense of reality when it comes to real life.

Talking about being pissy about your job made me think of this. Sorry I hijacked your post!

[Doc_Lobster]

Maybe I should be thankful that I have had several shitty jobs. At least I will never take a good work environment for granted.

[Deleted]

I'm going to one up you all. Today, my DH - who is responsible for taking on $0.00/year in paying work - told me how "lucky" I was that I didn't have to take the dogs to the vet today and how *tired* he was from hosting my family yesterday (while I was at work capping a 70 hour week). I totally WTF, we can switch jobs whenever you want, face of deathed him and he shut up. But HE is a championship whiner. He whined about working so much he actually got out of working altogether.*


*At a real job. I forget sometimes I'm supposed to treat the elephants like paying clients.

[Doc_Lobster]

Doing things is haaaaaard!

[Deleted]

Sept 22, 2012 21:20:11 GMT -5 Doc_Lobster said:

Doing things is haaaaaard!

This is totally why women are going to take over the world.

[gault]

Sometimes being blunt works the best.

Stop with your pity party. You have a good job that pays well. Sometimes jobs suck, but it's par for everyone, not just you. I love you and will listen to you whine for 10 minutes. And then we will move on.

[litebright]

Your DH sounds like my sister. Something is always wrong with the job she has.

She has job-hopped a LOT for the few years she's been working. She's in nursing.

I think she has had some legitimate beefs, but instead of buckling down and dealing with them or accepting that she made a mistake in leaving the old job, she just starts blaming (not herself) and looking for a new job. She's lucky she's in such a high-demand field. I also think she really doesn't want to work at all and is, maybe unconsciously, trying to get herself in a situation where she can just throw up her hands and declare that it's best she be a SAHM. But then she'll complain about not having enough money.

I'm getting tired of the work bitching. Every time she gets the new job that she really, really wanted and is going to solve all her problems, it's not long before the complaints start. I've started just mmm-hmmming and changing the subject -- but my life is completely unaffected by her job, so I can do that.

[Doc_Lobster]

Sept 22, 2012 21:23:08 GMT -5 elle said:

Sept 22, 2012 21:20:11 GMT -5 Doc_Lobster said:

Doing things is haaaaaard!

This is totally why women are going to take over the world.

Agree. H may be stronger than I am, but I am way tougher and in many ways.

[rodeored]

We should make a club. I could kick, repeatedly, whomever told my H that you should absolutely 100% love your job every single day.

[Doc_Lobster]

Now I feel bad for complaining about him.

He's a good guy, and he is trying hard, but I think he has been sheltered and somehow had the idea that no one should ever have to be stressed out instilled in him.

[Deleted]

Sept 22, 2012 21:23:08 GMT -5 elle said:

Sept 22, 2012 21:20:11 GMT -5 Doc_Lobster said:

Doing things is haaaaaard!

This is totally why women are going to take over the world.

Yes. 100%. The poor bastards won't know what hit them.