Thursday DDOTS and updates?

[mommyatty]

I am still waiting on an offer from the consulting firm. I texted my friend yesterday and he said they’ve worked out which groups would pay me. Now they are doing final rounds. We are supposed to chat tomorrow.

ETA- I was approached on LinkedIn about a VP job at another company. So I used that as the trigger to reach out and ask where we are. I’m hoping it moves them to send the freaking offer. And make it a good one.

[mustardseed2007]

mommyatty, good luck!!!

Question: I am about to pay for a catering order of individually packaged ice cream for my kid's school. It's an order that the PA is making. The order is 700 dollars and there's an option to add a tip. We did not budget for a tip...should I tip? How much?

[waverly]

mae0111, If your neck/ back is a mess then I recommend chiro and physical therapy. They even helped my legs/ feet. However, if it is something else like gastro then it wouldn't really help. Are you taking vitamin D?

[traveltheworld]

My anxiety is very high; and for no good reason. I'm more anxious about my job than ever before. I question everything I do, and since I can't seem to recall anything that happened more than a few weeks ago, every time someone asks me about a previous deal, I blank, panic (that I would have done something wrong), spend lots of time going through emails/notes before I can finally calm down. That happens multiple times a week and it's exhausting.

DS got his first report card and got "approaching mastery" on on the writing-related tasks. Normally I'd be tackling that, but right now I just can't seem to muster up the motivation to help him with it.

AND I'm starting to freak out about the end of DH's contract - which isn't even supposed to end till next May!

[twinmomma]

Parent teacher conferences revealed that the girls are struggling with listening to direction in class too. The teacher emphasized that they're great, smart students, loves having them in class, but if she asks them to do something that's not what they want to do, they ignore her and keep on doing whatever they want until a few requests have been made. ExH confirmed it happens at his house too. So it's not just a my house problem. But, ExH's response to me about it? "Eh, I'm not that concerned about it. They're fine. Whatever." So... I get to navigate boundary setting and rules and new routines all on my own and his 50% of the time will continue to be the wild west. Ugh.

[mommyatty]

traveltheworld, I can totally relate to that. Hugs. One thing that has helped me is to ask “what is worst case scenario? What is most probable scenario? Which one are you obsessing about?” Also, thinking “Have I done the things in my control to handle this? If so, I’m going to need to let go of those things that are outside my control.”

[186momx]

I'm 95% sure we are postponing thanksgiving. My brother got sent out of state for work. When he got to where he was needed it was partly because the entire store is down with COVID after having a COVID party. He is supposed to get back on the 23rd but was told to quarantine for 7 days. Both businesses next to use are closed do to COVID so both dad and I are wanting to play it safe.

Big winter storm is supposed to hit Friday/Saturday. Winds, foot of snow in the mountains, and lots of valley rain. I'm really worried we will be having major mudslides in the burned areas.

I really hate zoom music class. It is Thursdays for 15 minutes and they are learning to play the recorder.

[186momx]

traveltheworld, I'm really thinking about starting meds as my anxiety is really high. I just have had bad luck with them when I was younger so I'm hesitant. But yes I'm worried about stupid stuff and can't concentrate half the time.

[waverly]

186momx, I almost signed DS up for the band, but I was like how can I spend $250 for a band extra curricular and then $70-$100 a month for instrument rental just to do band on zoom? It's one more thing to add to our plates that are already full. But yes, they do have regular music class. Also, the recorder sucks.

[sandandsea]

DDOT. With my promotion my benefits change... a lot. Open enrollment is happening now and Dh has to make his selections this week while I got information today. I feel like it’s so hard to figure it all out again as it’s been on auto pilot the past decade!

[traveltheworld]

mommyatty, I do the "worst case scenario" analysis, a LOT. The problem is that now my worst case scenario often ends with me not having a job, and given that I'm the main breadwinner, that scenario is super scary. I think part of it is that for quite a long time, I had the comfort of knowing that if things didn't work out at my current job, I could always go back to my private practice firm. But the latest news I've heard is that they're not doing great either, so I don't think that door is open anymore...which...again...scary.

[twinmomma]

Nov 12, 2020 13:43:40 GMT -5 186momx said:

traveltheworld , I'm really thinking about starting meds as my anxiety is really high. I just have had bad luck with them when I was younger so I'm hesitant. But yes I'm worried about stupid stuff and can't concentrate half the time.

Starting meds over the summer has been life changing for me. I'm on only 20mg of Prozac and it takes the edge off of everything. It doesn't make me a zombie by any means, but it makes me feel like I can actually focus on a solution, rather than spiraling and getting paralyzed by my anxiety, which was then leading to depression because I couldn't accomplish anything. I've always had anxiety but was able to cope with it ok. This low dosage has really helped get rid of that anxiety buzz that was getting more and more constant as pandemic life and stress built up. 

[mommyatty]

traveltheworld, the trick is to go through the analysis to say “I’m looking at worst case, and worst case isn’t the most likely outcome. I’m going to concentrate on the most likely outcome instead.” I have the same issue you do. I’m the sole breadwinner. I’m terrified every time I make a mistake or think I might have made a mistake ten years ago or think that someone is going to think I might have made a mistake ten years ago. Hence, the reason I’m in therapy. It’s harming my job performance and my health and my personal life.

[waverly]

I’ve only been a breadwinner for a couple months here and there when DH was between jobs, and I have to say I was terrified a lot of the time. It’s a lot of pressure!

[drjeep]

186momx, solidarity on hating the recorder! When I taught 4th grade at my first school there were two teachers in each grade level team. The music teacher (who was honestly amazing) wanted to keep my kids and those of my team teacher for an hour to combine their music time so she could try to get more done with them. Bonus for us was having an hour of planning time together. However, the horrendous downside was us being in the next room separated from her and about 45-50 kids learning how to play the recorder for AN HOUR!!! Talk about your ears bleeding! It sounded like a bunch of long tailed feral cats in a room full of moving rocking chairs!!!

[twinmomma]

My work trip has officially been cancelled for next year. I always kind of figured it would be, but my Q1 is going to feel downright luxurious with that off my plate now!

[twinmomma]

Oh, and for those hating recorders... My 8 year olds have violas. So, it could be worse.

[waverly]

Nov 13, 2020 11:34:03 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

My work trip has officially been cancelled for next year. I always kind of figured it would be, but my Q1 is going to feel downright luxurious with that off my plate now!

I remember it was a cluster last year because it was right when things were shutting down.

[campermom]

My husband has asked for a divorce. After all that I have done and put up with I don’t want it. But I will not fight it. I am so broken hearted about everything right now.

I know that rationally he doesn’t want to change and would rather give up than change, or try.

But it hurts. Really bad.

[supertrooper1]

campermom, I'm sorry but I think you'll be happier when it's all over. I know I am.

[drjeep]

campermom, I'm so sorry. I honestly don't know what to say to help or make you feel better although I wish I did! Just know you are loved by people here as you deal with this sucky situation. (hugs)

[mommyatty]

campermom, my brother’s wife left him, and he was devastated. But he moved on, and it’s by far the best thing for everyone. Him, his ex, and their kids. I think the same will be true here. I know it sucks right now, but it won’t always. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

[shakinros]

Hugs campermom

[vasc]

I’m so sorry campermom

[twinmomma]

campermom I'm so sorry. Right now it feels devastating and insurmountable, but it will get easier with time. And you'll all be happier in the long run. When exH told me about his affair and that he was leaving, I begged him to stay, even though I already had one foot out the door myself. Change is scary, but you are so strong and deserve so much more!

[librarychica]

Hugs campermom.

[mustardseed2007]

campermom, ((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

You can do this, it's not fair though and I'm so sorry

[waverly]

I’m sorry, campermom. I think you are right though- I never saw him put any effort into meeting you not even halfway but even 10 or 20%.

[sandandsea]

I’m sorry campermom. You are strong and will be okay. We’re all here for you.

[xctsclrx]

campermom, hugs. I think this will be the best thing for you in the long run. I know it sucks right now and it will probably get worse before it gets better but it will get better. We are here however you need us.