@ randoms, 2/14 to 2/21

[redheadbaker]

Hooo, boy. This is going to be long, but I'm still feeling rattled. 

We moved to an new town in July 2019, and my son enrolled in a new school. That winter (January 2020), my son's 2nd grade teachers announced a diaper drive for what was essentially a crisis pregnancy center/transitional shelter for pregnant women. I commented in the Parents of the Class of 2030 Facebook group, not asking to cancel the fundraiser, just asking if we could choose a non-religious charity next-time, and got MAJOR backlash for it. I posted about it here: pandce.proboards.com/thread/616517/classroom-collecting-donations-religious-charity

It messed with my mental health, and I'm still pretty much Outcast Mom. But, when the principal announced a new school community group called The Diversity Cafe (for parents, school staff and interested community members), I joined, wanting to basically "take the temperature" of the community. I enjoyed the group and the goals it has for the school and have been attending every month since, and even joined a Parents Action Group to pester the school board to do more in addressing the cis/white-centered curriculum. 

Last night's meeting was about the six different types of conversation (debate, argument, discussion, brainstorming, negotiation, dialogue), and how two people can be conversing but having different types of conversation. We broke into groups of two, and the goal was to practice having a dialogue, where one person spoke for five minutes about a time they felt vulnerable, the other listened without interruping, fixing, giving advice, or challenging the speaker's position. We could ask clarifying questions. Then, the second person spoke about their vulnerable moment. 

Now, I'm a cis/white woman, so I don't often feel vulnerable in a group, so I thought about the one time I did -- when I spoke up about damn crisis pregnancy center and was attacked. 

Well. The person I was paired with? Was thinking of the same incident. From the other side of the aisle. Her "clarifying question" was "Why did you have a problem with it?" I told her I didn't think that question was in keeping with the guidelines laid out for the dialogue, and hey look at that, my five minutes is up, your turn to talk. 

Well, she's a poor persecuted Republican Christian, she can't speak up (even though at least 6 people agreed with her in that conversation about the fundraiser), and people on social media are being mean to Republicans (not mean to her specifically, just Republicans), and we spend too much time talking about our differences and it's driving a wedge between people, and we should talk about how we're all the same, and she has friends of color and friends who are gay and and and .... 

I tried to explain that the Diversity Cage is meant to celebrate our differences and help people understand where we're each coming from and the different experiences we've had, but when I'm flustered, it's hard to put my feelings into words. 

So, almost as soon as our time was up, I jumped back into the main room. The facilitator asked how our conversations went and after a bunch of people talked about what great conversations they had, and things that people did that made them feel heard (eye contact, etc.), she pipes up about our convo, and goes into the whole diatribe again (we shouldn't be talking about differences, etc.) to the group as a whole. Some of the group members also tried to explain the group's goal to her, but I don't think they go through. 

Of all the people I could've been randomly paired with .... 

[Bad Dingo]

I remember that thread and really respect you for standing up for your beliefs when it's hard.

[keh2oblue]

I also remember your original post. I applaud you for your perseverance (and patience!) You have every right to be frustrated and aggravated.

[taratru]

Sounds like she joined so.that her voice wouldn't be silenced. :::eye roll:::

Fuck that. I'm sorry you got paired with her, and I hope the group works toward important work that doesn't get sidetracked.

[erbear]

Oh lord. I'm sorry you had to deal with these loons again. I remember that post and you were 100% right.