Randoms Week of 2/22

[wawa]

didn't look like anybody had started a new one yet since people are still posting in last week's.  

it's a new week! February is almost over! 

You know the Peter Principle?  The idea that you keep getting promoted until the point where you're crap at your job and that's where you stick for the rest of your career. 
I fear I'm there. 
How do you figure that out?  Like right now seems like an awful time to make sweeping life/career decisions what with the whole 1 year of Pandemic Nonsense ticking away on the calendar, but seriously though ....what's the difference between "i'm struggling right now because life is hard" and "no actually I think I'm bad at this job?"

Any thoughts on how you tease that out?

[pixy0stix]

I don't know, wawa. I'm trying to get out of my job niche and keep getting shot down. (Heard back from the latest job I applied for, and I didn't get it.)

[lilypad1126]

I don't know that I'm terrible at my current job. But I am burnt out (both pandemic and job related) and I'm not putting in the effort needed to be great and at some point people (my boss) will probably notice. So even though the pandemic feels never ending (or maybe because of that) I interviewed for, and was offered, a job in an adjacent career field. I start in 2 weeks, and while i'm excited for this opportunity, I'm also stuck mentally on the loop of, OMG what did I do? What if I suck at this new job? So, no answers, but certainly commiseration.

I will say that if you are at all interested in exploring new opportunities, I don't think you should let the pandemic stop you. I choose to look at it as the pandemic highlighted all the things I hate about my current job, so why not look? Besides that, it's easy (for me anyway), to figure out all the Zoom interviews when I'm home all the time and don't have to physically leave work for interviews. But also, it took A LOT of interviews to actually get an offer. So that part sucks.

[aurora]

You're in a similar field to H, wawa, so given what you've posted here I don't think you're objectively terrible at your job.

I think many of us here are at an age where is natural to be questioning "is this actually what I want to do?" I mean, there are some great things about my job and I am overall good at it, but there are also some things that I hate and therefore struggle to put in the effort to do well.

[rubytue]

Im in the same place aurora mentions. Objectively, I think I am good at my job. So good I came do it with one hand tied behind my back (or, while doing cancer treatments and not missing a beat). It’s just I don’t like it. At all. But I’m completely stuck where I am. *sigh* (I actually let out a real sign when I typed that)

A friend once told me that she knew it was time to move on when the frustrations are greater than the challenges. I have found that so useful. Challenges are good. You grow with them. Frustration are what makes you cruse everyone around you.

Non-career random question: what is an discord? And why should I be on one? From what I can tell, it’s chatting with strangers (at least the one I’ve been “invited” to). I got the chat thing from another friend who said he had one available for voice for our game nights, but we found another options. I’ve been chatting online with strangers since, errr.. 1992. But I’m not feeling like joining this one,

[taratru]

I feel like this is a natural feeling after doing anything for a certain length of time. Fifteen or twenty years at anything will bring it's own challenges with confidence. You aren't bad at your job...you're probably very good at it, so it's hard to find that feeling of "new" or "exciting", ya know?

I've been trying hard to get out of teaching for quite a while, but...yeah. So instead we are taking the job somewhere else, hoping for the change we are craving.

[pixy0stix]

Feb 22, 2021 15:53:44 GMT -5 rubytue said:

Non-career random question: what is an discord? And why should I be on one? From what I can tell, it’s chatting with strangers (at least the one I’ve been “invited” to). I got the chat thing from another friend who said he had one available for voice for our game nights, but we found another options. I’ve been chatting online with strangers since, errr.. 1992. But I’m not feeling like joining this one,

It's just another online chat site, used a lot in gaming circles. 

[cattledogkisses]

My brother was in a snowmobile accident this past weekend, and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. He's pretty banged up but he's going to be ok. His helmet saved his life. If he hadn't been wearing a helmet he would have died. So just in case there's anyone who needs to hear this: always wear a helmet.

[penguingrrl]

cattledogkisses I’m so sorry he was hurt, but glad to hear he’ll be okay! Helmets are truly miraculous! My sister had her helmet save her life mountain biking and it was truly incredible.

[bimbi284]

I just found out that a colleague of mine passed away last week. She officially worked for another org, but did a TON of super specialized and important work for my program, and was basically always willing to step up and help me with things. She was such a sweet, brilliant, and tough advocate. She passed last Wednesday, but I didn’t find out until like 30 mins ago.

We were scheduled to start a review for an agency tomorrow, and I was sending her emails to prep for it last week Friday, not knowing at all that she was already gone.

I’m still a little bit in shock. I know she was sick (mesothelioma), and she wasn’t sounding good when we worked together the week before, but I had no idea it had progressed so much.

The kicker for me is she was supposed to start a clinical trial for a treatment for it last year, and then covid hit, causing them to have to cancel the trial.

[erbear]

I don’t know where else to put this. TW: cancer



A work friend (who is a real friend - we’ve worked together for 15 years, most of them on the same grade team) was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last week. She’s having surgery on Wednesday and I’m just so so sad and worried and trying to not to let her see how sad and worried I am.

[notsopicky]

Feb 22, 2021 15:39:39 GMT -5 aurora said:

You're in a similar field to H, wawa , so given what you've posted here I don't think you're objectively terrible at your job.

I think many of us here are at an age where is natural to be questioning "is this actually what I want to do?" I mean, there are some great things about my job and I am overall good at it, but there are also some things that I hate and therefore struggle to put in the effort to do well.

This is a legit thing. I had a CTJ meeting with myself about 5 years ago, and the answer was no. I had an opportunity drop in my lap to change career directions (original career-adjacent), and I took it and ran with it. Now I'm in that field. And wonder why it took me so long to find it, lol. 

My former role was pretty much an end-of-the-line position; I had done everything that I wanted to/could do with the job. Now I have a whole new slate of opportunities available to me (it helps that I'm really good at what I do, and am a go-getter; I'll do pretty much anything asked of me in the interest of learning new things, showing my skills & giving back to others in both fields). In my mind's eye, the long-game of the rest of my career (probably 18 years or so) looks bright and fulfilling. 

[eddy]

H is on furlough and he is painting our kitchen cabinets. Our kitchen is a disaster but I am so so excited. I am going to paint our breakfast nook wall and bench this weekend. My dad is making a new wood table for the nook. We will eventually get new counter tops and an apron sink. But I doubt we can get scheduled for that for a couple months. Also we will update all the hardware and lightening.

We have been in this house for almost 9 years and I have never loved my kitchen. We have never had the time to take this on, so thanks downturn COVID economy lolol. I am just happy we will have something physical to show for this hellhole of a year.

[crystald528]

Feb 23, 2021 7:01:05 GMT -5 eddy said:

I am just happy we will have something physical to show for this hellhole of a year.

This is exactly how I am feeling. We have lived in this house for 12 years. We did some work outside over the summer so we would have somewhere nice to hang out in the yard. Now we are stuck inside all. the. time. between covid and the weather. I spend so much time in our kitchen and I hate it. I finally told H that we are going to open up our galley kitchen into the useless room next to it, fix some of the poorly insulated spots and get rid of the gross paneling. We will reuse all of the cabinets and add some new to match. We are going to DIY most of it and that will help keep the costs low. We need to do it now when we are going to be sitting around staring at each other anyway.

[wawa]

Feb 22, 2021 15:28:23 GMT -5 lilypad1126 said:

I don't know that I'm terrible at my current job. But I am burnt out (both pandemic and job related) and I'm not putting in the effort needed to be great and at some point people (my boss) will probably notice. So even though the pandemic feels never ending (or maybe because of that) I interviewed for, and was offered, a job in an adjacent career field. I start in 2 weeks, and while i'm excited for this opportunity, I'm also stuck mentally on the loop of, OMG what did I do? What if I suck at this new job? So, no answers, but certainly commiseration.

I will say that if you are at all interested in exploring new opportunities, I don't think you should let the pandemic stop you. I choose to look at it as the pandemic highlighted all the things I hate about my current job, so why not look? Besides that, it's easy (for me anyway), to figure out all the Zoom interviews when I'm home all the time and don't have to physically leave work for interviews. But also, it took A LOT of interviews to actually get an offer. So that part sucks.

Mine noticed. 
The problem is that change I keep wondering about would be a step down/back.  this IS my exciting opportunity and i worked here for 6 months before the pandemic hit. Now I can't tell if I'm sucking at this because of circumstances or because it's just beyond my abilities.  But I love the company, I love the kind of work....and I haaaaaaate to admit defeat. 

[mskitkat]

I think my thermostat is broken. It’s at least 10 years old and keeping my house waaaaaay too warm. I want to replace it with a smart thermostat. Does anyone love their Nest or their Ecobee?

[5kcandlesinthewind]

bimbi284, I'm so sorry. I've lost work colleagues unexpectedly before, and it is always unmooring. Be kind to yourself today.
erbear, I hope everything goes smoothly for your friend and she has an easy recovery.
And so mucn commiseration to everyone who is still trying to figure out what to do when they grow up. I've been over my job for a while now, but as the breadwinner who holds the insuarance, I felt stuck in the before times, never mind now.

[ohgillian]

Feb 22, 2021 16:05:32 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Feb 22, 2021 15:53:44 GMT -5 rubytue said:

Non-career random question: what is an discord? And why should I be on one? From what I can tell, it’s chatting with strangers (at least the one I’ve been “invited” to). I got the chat thing from another friend who said he had one available for voice for our game nights, but we found another options. I’ve been chatting online with strangers since, errr.. 1992. But I’m not feeling like joining this one,

It's just another online chat site, used a lot in gaming circles. 

I have a follow up to this question. Is there somewhere online where I can go look up what different "new" technology and app and similar things are? I don't just mean google, I mean a site made for old people like me (ha/sob) that would say "Clubhouse is this", "Parler is this", "Discord is this." Does that exist?  By the time I heard of WhatsApp, it was the most popular app on the planet and I was like, "what is it exactly?" 

[lilypad1126]

wawa, That's rough. I don't know that my new opportunity is a step down, exactly, but it sure isn't a step up. There's nothing wrong with recognizing that what you thought was an "exciting opportunity" just isn't. The next step up for me, in my current career path, is something I always thought I wanted. Until this last year, and I've realized I'm just cut out for that next step. I no longer have the patience needed for it. So I guess I stepped sideways, but the relief I feel when I think about this change is real. Even my H, who usually is oblivious to things, has noticed.

That's probably not super helpful. But I don't think changing jobs/careers is admitting defeat. I think it takes a lot to recognize that you might not be in the right job, at the right time, for you.

[pixy0stix]

I woke up with The Bodyguard scene of the scarf and the sword playing in my head, complete with soundtrack. WTF brain.

[gretchenindisguise]

I'm with y'all on the career stuff. I have a phone interview this afternoon for a step sideways. It's out of my current career path but into something I think I'd be really good at and I'd be able to use my skills differently. I've been trying to pivot for a while and I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard.

[VillainV]

My random is that I started working in a new place with new people about three weeks ago. Mask wear is mandatory and pretty strictly adhered to except in very few specific circumstances (outside and spaced out, inside when spaced out to eat or drink for brief periods).

Anyway, there are tons of people who I only ever see from the bridge of the nose up. And I guess my brain kind of subconsciously fills in the blanks of what it assumes the rest of their faces would look like based on just seeing someone’s eyes and upper cheekbones. Then every now and then I’ll see someone without a mask walking by outside, or drop their mask to take a sip of water in a meeting, and realize that my brain had formed completely incorrect picture of what the person looks like! Maybe they have a sharper nose or jaw, a mustache I had no idea was there, or a completely different-shaped face. It’s bizarre and freaks me out a little every time.

[msmerymac]

Speaking of work stuff, we hired a new member for my team who started yesterday. And then she resigned last night. She got a better offer, one that paid at least $20k more, but... there are better ways to handle that.

So if anyone wants to come work with me...

[ellipses84]

Leading up to Election Day thru January 20th I had so much anxiety! On top of the anger and anxiety of the last 4 years. At first I thought, I can’t wait until Election Day so I can stop feeling distracted and stressed and focus on things like work. Then those feelings went on for months. The other day I realized I can finally relax a little and focus on things other than a constant barrage of terrible news, and even with terrible news, there are adults in charge trying to make good decisions. I’m so much more productive!

I know there’s so much more work to do, but I feel like we can all spend our time and energy in more positive and offensive political ways rather than defensive ways.

[ellipses84]

wawa I think you have to ask yourself what would need to change to make it better. If you onboarded remotely, that is really tough. Do you think it would be better in person if you are remote? Do you lack internal networking that someone could help you with (i.e. who to go to for issues x, y or z or how is the best way to get a quick response from people, i.e. Jane prefers a text to her cell phone for urgent issues and Bob uses Teams messenger). Do you need more clarity on the expectations for your role and responsibilities? Do you need more management training or any other type of training? Do you need to bond better with colleagues? Are other colleagues having issues due to the pandemic that impacts shared work? Are time expectations unrealistic? I’d usually say give a job 1 year unless it’s a toxic environment. Talk to your boss about a plan to fix the issues. If your boss isn’t responsive to that, then maybe it’s not a great place to work even if you love the mission. I know we said a lot of negative things in the coaching post, but the exception people had was for business / executive coaching, so you could consider that.

[notsopicky]

I went back to work (full days) in a brick and mortar building today w/ 75% of the staff (the other 25% will remain WFH). I had been there 2 days a week for 1/2 days, pretty much by myself, since August, but y'all-----it was weeeeeeird being in a building with people, w/ regular working hours. 100% mask compliance, no congregating, people being respectful of others' spaces, the whole 9, so I felt safe.

But I'm exhausted (I also got the second vax shot yesterday, so that may be part of it). And I get to wake up at 5am tomorrow (and the next day, and the next day), to do it all again, lol. At least we can all WFH on Mondays.

[pixy0stix]

My husband kills me sometimes. We have a neighbor who is trying his damndest to make himself mayor of the street. We're both tolerant of him, but he's starting to get annoying. One of the houses on the street became vacant, and he kept going in and out of that house. My H, who is pretty damn nosey himself, walked over when the guy was in the vacant house and asked what he was doing. Guy hemmed and hawed and then finally admitted to being in the process of buying the place. I walked over to see what they were talking about and caught the tail end of the conversation with the guy saying he wasn't going tell anyone what he paid for the place. My h responds, "I'll just look it up on the county assessor's office website once the sale goes through." Deadpan. Just took the wind out of the guy's sails. LOL!

[StrawberryBlondie]

My husband broke my food processor last week. Thankfully, just the lid, so easy to order just a part, but he seemed to think it would be NBD to me since we have a blender.

[rubytue]

Feb 23, 2021 9:17:50 GMT -5 ohgillian said:

Feb 22, 2021 16:05:32 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

It's just another online chat site, used a lot in gaming circles. 

I have a follow up to this question. Is there somewhere online where I can go look up what different "new" technology and app and similar things are? I don't just mean google, I mean a site made for old people like me (ha/sob) that would say "Clubhouse is this", "Parler is this", "Discord is this." Does that exist?  By the time I heard of WhatsApp, it was the most popular app on the planet and I was like, "what is it exactly?" 

pandce.proboards.com 😂 (lookit me being old)

@@@ teenager 
somewhat related, I was texting with a friend today, and I used the laser effect on the iPhone. He was all “how’d you do that?!” I told him to ask his daughter (13). She didn’t know. 😳😳😳 I knew something a teen didn’t!! Apparently, this conversation triggered a “well, if I could have a phone, Dad” thing. He took it away last year (for reasons that make me thankful I don’t have to deal with kid issues)

On the technology theme... I want a Apple Watch. Will a SE over a series 6 be a mistake?

[erbear]

Work related: I jumped on the opportunity to step out of an administrative leadership role that I’ve held for 15 years because I hate the job - I just want to teach. But now I’m having second thoughts, because I’ve left the middle school with an all male admin team and I’m uncomfortable with that. Sigh.