I had a WFH job before COVID. It’s not a difficult job, all told, and I like the work and my coworkers - but it was already hard to find a line between Work Life and Home Life. It got worse once MH was home all the time, and now DD is only in preschool three days a week rather than five.
I never had an active social life or many friends, but it’s weighing hard on me after a year of practically no socialization, or not even being able to say “hey let’s go to the diner and get pancakes, I don’t feel like cooking breakfast today.” I used to enjoy cooking so much and now it’s just another chore, another thing to have to figure out every goddamn day. Any outings we do are just eating takeout food in a car or rushing home so DD can use the bathroom because there’s no place safe to take her. And at home we’re just correcting her all the time, arguing with her to just brush her teeth or not make a mess, and MH and I wind up screaming at her and at each other because she just does. not. listen.
I’m just sad most days. And I have no right to be. My family is healthy, our jobs are secure, anyone I know who caught COVID has recovered - it isn’t fair of me to complain. The news is full of awful people being awful to each other. I’m just so drained and sad.
Post by purplepenguin7 on Mar 23, 2021 20:04:49 GMT -5
I’m sorry you are feeling this way, COVID is tough in so many different ways. I have a job similar to a previous poster, where it is just an endless to-do list of tasks. I have to physically separate myself from my computer or else I could work for hours and hours and still never be “done”. One thing that helps is we try and get out of the house every day somehow. Sometimes it’s a walk around the block, sometimes a quick Starbucks run (mobile ordering or curbside) or some times we just drive around. With no commute, no end time of work, it’s the one thing that breaks up the work day and give me a feeling of being done for the day. It’s also just nice for fresh air and a change of scenery after working from home all day.
I think the 1 year anniversary of our 2 week quarantine is pretty difficult for everyone, even if it’s subconscious. I feel like there’s a cartoon rain cloud over everyone right now even if life is generally good.
I’m a perfectionist in a high stress job in a workaholic industry. WFH can be even tougher because there are no boundaries. I used to work most hours during the week but tried to have 1-1.5 weekend days where I would not think about work, and now I’m working Friday evening, Saturday morning and/or Sunday evening. I’m definitely feeling the burnout from it, partly because I took a second job and my minimum work week is 46 hours (usually 50-60). I also work even more during the week because I work earlier and later, with no commute. Although I can take more breaks during the day it makes the work day longer.
I definitely have anxiety that has been made worse by Covid and it sounds like that may be the case with you, too. I often have work related anxiety dreams so I don’t even sleep well. In some ways I think it makes me better at my job, like I can’t relax until I follow up on x, y, z and know it’s taken care of, but it definitely has a negative impact on my personal life and my DH doesn’t respond well to my anxiety fueled nagging. Also, with WFH I find myself spinning out with anxiety and not being as productive, so I’ve considered getting more help / medication for it. I figure if I try it, it will help, or I can stop.
We sound very much alike. As do others on this thread. TikTok tells me I have “high functioning anxiety” based on my symptoms..yet no one on there tells you how to fix it... The anxiety is ridiculous at times.. especially as I have to meet product goals at work and I constantly worry I won’t meet the metrics.. ugh.
I’m just sad most days. And I have no right to be. My family is healthy, our jobs are secure, anyone I know who caught COVID has recovered - it isn’t fair of me to complain. The news is full of awful people being awful to each other. I’m just so drained and sad.
You have every right to be. You have every right to feel whatever it is you feel. That's just part of being human. And you can't work through it if you deny it, or tell yourself you're not allowed to feel that way. Is there anything that you've tried that helps you cope or shift your mood? Hugs to everyone who is hurting right now.
Post by goldengirlz on Mar 23, 2021 23:01:14 GMT -5
I’ve been better recently but I definitely went through a period where I felt EXACTLY like that last spring and summer.
My entire world felt like bleak nothingness with no end in sight — there was nothing to look forward to, nothing that would bring me joy. All I wanted to do was hide under the covers and cry all evening, every evening (and I often did.)
Therapy helped A LOT. CBT was the best gift I ever gave to myself. One thing I learned, for example, was the importance of recognizing not just when I felt empty but when I felt joy. And once I started noticing joy, I could appreciate that I actually was feeling quite a bit of joy each week.
And whenever I felt joy, I had to make a note of what had sparked it — and then do that. So, yeah, things like finding hobbies, or at least pleasurable activities that I could do each week. It wasn’t always easy but I at least felt like I had a goal.
There IS hope and there is joy, even in a pandemic. And therapy can help.
I do at times in a different way. I've been home with various medical things since October and have struggled. I haven't had much Independence, as in I have only been able to wash my own hair/shower alone for a few weeks. I was starting to feel better and saw a light at the end of the tunnel to get back to work/life and I'm going to have another surgery that will make me lose Independence again. Today was rough and I was really down. I'm going to try to get out and go for a walk tomorrow even if the weather sucks, I need to try to get out and about (safely, obviously) while I can to get in the rhythm and hopefully I'll continue after my next surgery.