Feeling Empty

[dollhouse]

Anyone (especially who WFH) just feel empty these days, especially after the work day? I don’t know if this is a symptom of depression, stress or just lack of hobbies.

I work from home, in a stressful job. I have a lot of responsibilities. I constantly worry about not being able to meet said expectations. I’m an overachiever, always receive praise and good reviews.

Yet, from the moment I wake up, I’m consumed with work and doubt. Once the work day ends, I think and stress about it for the next day.

I feel empty. No social life, no hobbies.. Covid WFH hasn’t helped. Anyone relate? Any tips? Thanks

[larzhope]

I can relate. I wish I had tips 😕

[sdlaura]

DH sent me this article today and it hit home.

www.theglobeandmail.com/business/article-people-are-at-the-point-of-emotional-exhaustion-why-white-collar/

It let me read it the first time I looked at it - sorry if there’s a pay wall...

[sillygoosegirl]

Yeah, me too. I think things will get better after the pandemic. Not that I've never felt this way before, but in my prior experience, social interactions are the cure... and, well, pandemic...

[SwimDeep]

I've felt like this for most of my working life. I do think it can be a symptom of depression, but it can also be emotional/physical burn out. A couple of things I do to manage it are acceptance (accepting that I'm stressed and acknowledging I have to grind it out) and reminding myself that I will not always feel this way. I've lived long enough at this point that I can actually look back and remember times when I felt better.

Celebrating the positives is helpful too. Even the smallest things (which I usually overlook). It doesn't make the empty feeling go away, but it helps me feel a little better for a few minutes.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's hard 😪

[CurlyQ284]

Yes I can definitely relate. I feel like I wake up, argue with my kid about every little thing (he argues about brushing his teeth every.single.day). Work all day, they keep piling on more work and refuse to hire anyone. Work ends, I feed everyone and then argue with my son to go to bed. Repeat.

I go through periods where I feel like I'm going to scream. I've WFH since 2014 though so that part isn't new but there are no vacations, nothing to look forward to. My H has been without a job for 14 months now. I just want to know when this will end.

[scout8]

Yes, this is exactly how I am feeling. I went on anti depressants a couple of weeks ago to see if that helps with the anxiety, but so far, not so much.

Given that I've never felt like this before, I really think it is mostly pandemic related for me. I've always been a very social, active person and now my life is mostly work. I think my other activities helped to get my mind off of work and deal with the stress and anxiety and now that is missing. It doesn't help that we moved to a new city two months before the pandemic started so I have no friends here either.

Once it is safe to do so, I will start going to meet-ups here, volunteer, re-join the gym, etc. I'm hopeful that when that happens, I will start to feel more normal again.

[cjcouple]

Not sure of this'll help. I'm not normally stressed like that with work but I was feeling that way at the beginning of the school year. Between trying to WFH and make sure my kids are online for school and hardly ever leaving the home. I was (am sometimes still am) running at a stress level of 10 out of 10. Things that helped

DH bought me an Echo Show for Christmas. I synced my calendar to it and can just verbally add reminders whenever I need them, play quiet music, you can even have ocean sounds to lull you to sleep, etc.
It allows me to set it and then I can forget it until the next day.

Also, just getting out for the house. Going for a walk every day. I literally wake up looking forward to my walk. Sometimes, I walk before work, during lunch, or in the evening. Do take a lunch break. It can read refresh you for your afternoon. Even 30 mins to just sit and eat with nothing else going on.

I also started making plans with a friend again and going out to lunch and shopping on a weekend. Nothing fancy but just fun.

I hope some of these can help you.

[NewGirlNic]

I can definitely commiserate, though I don't have a super stressful job. Most days I feel unfulfilled from it because there are times I don't have much going on besides mundane daily tasks. 

Pre Covid, I didn't mind my job because I worked with a lot of great people and truly enjoyed going into the office for the social aspect. Now, not only are we mostly WFH, but almost all of my coworker friends have left the company. So if/when we go back, I won't have nearly the same sense of community at work. We got new management in early 2020 and it's.... not great. Many people left for greener pastures. I don't feel any type of drive to find a new job. Plus, my job is pretty cushy. I have decent benefits, good pay, awesome vacation time and general work/life balance. 

I'm hoping the warmer weather helps. Going for a walk on lunch or after work always helps my mood, especially if it's nice out. I need to get out of the habit of eating lunch at my desk in front of the computer. Yesterday H and I sat outside and ate lunch together and even though it was only 20 minutes, it felt so good. 

[mcppalmbeach]

This is something I struggle with non pandemic also. So I just want to share hugs and good thoughts. I don’t have a job, I’m a sahm and I feel like I have nothing outside my kids. I lost my friend group over Covid and although I have two good friends I talk to regularly, I just feel like others have better friendships and relationships and most of mine are superficial.

[simpsongal]

I can commiserate. My job got considerably worse in the past year, workload wise and in terms of stress. I too have found it difficult to unplug and when the work keeps coming you never feel accomplished or done. There are many compounding factors but my whole team is busy so they're working overtime and weekends and I wake up to mountains of emails/work every morning. Lifting others up helps me - I wrote my team thank you notes w/GCs and mailed to their homes.

The nice weather is really helping lift me up and unplug a bit. In the winter, work consumed the daylight hours, now I try to be off and get outside even for just an hour. I need to force myself to get up from my computer. I didn't yesterday and it really wore me out. I could sit and read/respond to work 10+ hrs straight but it's not good for my mental health. Getted dressed in the morning lifts me up too (even if it's just fitness clothes - days spent working in PJs drag me down).

I like gardening/landscaping, I find working with my hands therapeutic. I'm running errands a bit too (e.g., Target runs, Michaels), which is a break from the kids and just a change in routine.

We also outlined our summer schedule a bit, including a couple possible local vacations. I'm taking a day off right before Easter - these little things to look forward to are REALLY helping my psyche. It's still stressful, but it's getting better.

I hope things get better for you soon - you're definitely not alone!

[carmenere]

I'm there with you. I'm a busy person by nature and I did have hobbies and a social life (church, volunteering, alumni stuff, etc.) but covid canceled all that. This sounds silly, but houseplants really do bring some joy to my days.

[georgeharrison]

Well, I don't know if I realized that I feel exactly like this until I read your post. I'll be checking back for more tips.

[isabel]

Oh. Are you me?

I started a new job in March 2020. I was promoted early this year and have been working in this new promoted role since the beginning of the month. I like my job and I’m good at what I do, but it’s stressful and draining. Coupled with what I assume is pandemic fatigue, I get done for the day and just have nothing left to give. I muddle through getting my kids dinner and prepping them for school the next day and then hope they don’t want more from me because I just don’t have anything left.

I am really hoping that with more light in the evening and warmer weather creeping in that I will find more energy to take a walk and just be outside. I generally feel better when I can do stuff like that. This winter has been hard on top of everything else.

[mx27]

Mar 23, 2021 8:14:07 GMT -5 isabel said:

Oh. Are you me?

I started a new job in March 2020. I was promoted early this year and have been working in this new promoted role since the beginning of the month. I like my job and I’m good at what I do, but it’s stressful and draining. Coupled with what I assume is pandemic fatigue, I get done for the day and just have nothing left to give. I muddle through getting my kids dinner and prepping them for school the next day and then hope they don’t want more from me because I just don’t have anything left.

I am really hoping that with more light in the evening and warmer weather creeping in that I will find more energy to take a walk and just be outside. I generally feel better when I can do stuff like that. This winter has been hard on top of everything else.

I was looking for a recent post from you! I hope this means you and your family and friends are safe.

[kittenponypony]

Sorry you’re going through that I was listening to a podcast about how helpful going outside can be for mental health. They’ve seen psychological benefits even with people looking at imagery of nature or bringing nature inside through things like houseplants (they saw a boost even with fake ones!) Do you think there’s any way you could create more of a transition out of your work day since you’re staying in the same environment? To create more of a mental separation between work and home life? Like maybe a walk after work or listening to music or talking on the phone to a friend or some kind of self care activity that normally boosts your mood

[anonymous]

Yes I few the same way. Work is so stressful right now and I just feel that between work and kids I’ve given all of myself and have nothing left. I’ve been feeling particularly bad lately

[ChillyMcFreeze]

I haven't WFH regularly since June, but YES to all the rest of it. I'm in a very high-stress, constantly busy job. I'm a high-achiever and feel like things will fall apart if I'm not around, so I have trouble taking time off. I'm taking a mental health day tomorrow and already dreading the slack I'll have to pick up on Thursday. I also commute an hour each way which is draining when all you want is to be home.

I finally asked DH to help me prep dinner each night. I love cooking, but I just want to sink into the couch when I get home. Knowing a few steps are out of the way really helps.

My next little goal is to take an actual lunch break away from my desk every day.

[lightbulbsun]

I was actually talking to my coworkers last week and everyone was saying how burnt out they're feeling. I think it's pandemic fatigue, because it feels like work is the only thing I'm engaged with recently, so it seems much more important.

I've been trying to get out more now that they weather is getting better near me. My friend and I met up last weekend and walked our dogs together, and it was so nice to be outside and talk to someone aside from my H.

[abs]

I definitely feel this way.

At the beginning of the pandemic I found things to bring me joy. Now I’m just bored with everything. Super, duper, beyond bored.

[eddy]

Returning to the office has actually helped me a ton. I know this isn't an option for everyone, but I thought I would put it out there as more people return to physical workspaces. Of course there was an adjustment period.

Getting back in a routine and more easily leaving work at work has helped so much. Also less pull between multiple facets of my life. When I am at work, I work. When I am home I do home things and parent. My lines are less blurred, which I found was a major stressor for me.

Also I realized how much I miss banter with coworkers, students etc. I needed that humanity.

[ellipses84]

I think the 1 year anniversary of our 2 week quarantine is pretty difficult for everyone, even if it’s subconscious. I feel like there’s a cartoon rain cloud over everyone right now even if life is generally good.

I’m a perfectionist in a high stress job in a workaholic industry. WFH can be even tougher because there are no boundaries. I used to work most hours during the week but tried to have 1-1.5 weekend days where I would not think about work, and now I’m working Friday evening, Saturday morning and/or Sunday evening. I’m definitely feeling the burnout from it, partly because I took a second job and my minimum work week is 46 hours (usually 50-60). I also work even more during the week because I work earlier and later, with no commute. Although I can take more breaks during the day it makes the work day longer.

I definitely have anxiety that has been made worse by Covid and it sounds like that may be the case with you, too. I often have work related anxiety dreams so I don’t even sleep well. In some ways I think it makes me better at my job, like I can’t relax until I follow up on x, y, z and know it’s taken care of, but it definitely has a negative impact on my personal life and my DH doesn’t respond well to my anxiety fueled nagging. Also, with WFH I find myself spinning out with anxiety and not being as productive, so I’ve considered getting more help / medication for it. I figure if I try it, it will help, or I can stop.

[macmars45]

Mar 23, 2021 7:40:17 GMT -5 mcppalmbeach said:

This is something I struggle with non pandemic also. So I just want to share hugs and good thoughts. I don’t have a job, I’m a sahm and I feel like I have nothing outside my kids. I lost my friend group over Covid and although I have two good friends I talk to regularly, I just feel like others have better friendships and relationships and most of mine are superficial.

Yes and my H. I moved 2.5 hours away from my friend group to my hometown in June 2020 and then with COVID haven't made any new friends in the almost 9 months we've been here. I have family here but again due to COVID, see them infrequently.

[Patsy Baloney]

My life is a wreck and everyone is dealing with their own shit, so.

Treading water in the void, here I am.

[isabel]

Mar 23, 2021 8:38:38 GMT -5 mx27 said:

Mar 23, 2021 8:14:07 GMT -5 isabel said:

Oh. Are you me?

I started a new job in March 2020. I was promoted early this year and have been working in this new promoted role since the beginning of the month. I like my job and I’m good at what I do, but it’s stressful and draining. Coupled with what I assume is pandemic fatigue, I get done for the day and just have nothing left to give. I muddle through getting my kids dinner and prepping them for school the next day and then hope they don’t want more from me because I just don’t have anything left.

I am really hoping that with more light in the evening and warmer weather creeping in that I will find more energy to take a walk and just be outside. I generally feel better when I can do stuff like that. This winter has been hard on top of everything else.

I was looking for a recent post from you! I hope this means you and your family and friends are safe.

Thank you. Yes, our little fam and MIL are up in the mountains and luckily we don’t know anyone impacted by the shooting. I feel sick over it though. So awful.

[pugz]

Empty feelings are a sign of depression for me personally

[lurkie22]

Mar 23, 2021 10:55:01 GMT -5 ellipses84 said:

I think the 1 year anniversary of our 2 week quarantine is pretty difficult for everyone, even if it’s subconscious. I feel like there’s a cartoon rain cloud over everyone right now even if life is generally good.

This is so, so true. I realized I have this persistent feeling of dread, and I think it's because this is when everything fell apart last year. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

[lucybrown]

Yes. I feel all of these things. I was burned out and feeling empty from my job before the pandemic. I'm in education and the last year has been an utter disaster, quite frankly. I'm still receiving strong performance evaluations. Something has to give, but I just don't know what that is at this point.

It took a year for me to name the resentment I carry about my work invading my safe space (home). And what does Friday even mean anymore? I simultaneously can't wait for and dread the weekends. My hobbies are largely social things outside my home. Even when I do engage in those things, I worry incessantly about the level of risk they bring to my household.

All this to say, yes. I feel it too. It's definitely depression and anxiety, but I don't really see it getting better until the pandemic lets up. And/or I start looking for a different job.

[cleo29]

The highlight of my day was getting my car washed. So, yeah... that says it all.

And, the hobby that I would love to get back into is singing, and for now, that is out. I might finally take guitar lessons.

I feel ya .

[litebright]

Yes. The moments that it has really hit me is when I've run across innocuous statements where people talk about having lives they're proud of or not wanting to have regrets about something, and my inner reaction is along the lines of "Life can be something you're proud of? Isn't it all regrets?" And then realizing that is probably not a normal/healthy reaction. And it's not that I'm not proud of individual things, or that I have a ton of specific regrets, my life is actually full of great things. It's just ... feeling stressed and stuck in a pointless middle, where every day is basically the same; I feel like I have a work life, and other stuff I take care of, and not much else.

I think between the lack of stimulation/new experiences, and having an even harder time than usual drawing lines between work-time and not-work-time, that I feel like ALL the time is some kind of work, with brief breaks that are never truly refreshing because everything is some version of the same. I have an even harder time focusing than usual because it just never seems to end and I'm not really excited about anything, I just want to be done. I don't even know with what, exactly, or maybe with everything?

I've tried two meds so far and they both helped but gave me tremors, so I'm back to the drawing board. My head is not a great place to live these days.