I was thinking about this last night and realized that my H has never lived alone. He went from living at home, to being married in a house together, stayed between his parents and sisters houses when he got divorced, and then we moved in together. I've never lived alone-alone, but did live with a roommate for a few years, before I was married the first time, and then after my divorce I rented a house for just me and my kids, so I've definitely been in charge of my own stuff before. It makes me wonder if my H's neediness and my independence are based on past circumstances or if it's just the type of personality that each of us has.
Post by lilypad1126 on May 26, 2021 7:34:48 GMT -5
Yes. And I knew at the time how much I loved it, so it was hard to move in with my H when I did.
Lucky for me, he also lived alone for many years of his life, so while some things annoy me about living with him, he actually is a great roommate - keeps his shit picked up, doesn't leave messes for days on end waiting on me to clean up, etc.
We are going to be living separate for like a month or two this summer while we move and I'm looking forward to it maybe more than I should be, LOL.
I did my senior year of college. It was really nice having my own space.
I lived in a 4 bedroom house in grad school, but never saw my roommates basically. So it was sort of like living alone since we were all on different schedules.
ETA: DH also lived alone after his divorce. So we've both had that experience.
Post by maudefindlay on May 26, 2021 7:37:41 GMT -5
Yes! I lived alone my last year of grad school and then for 4 years before DH and I moved in together. Glorious and I think a major reason why I to this day need definite me, alone time.
Very rarely. I had a motley crew of roommates in college and my early/mid 20s. I lived by myself for short periods of time - six months here, four there - when I had to relocate for my job but in all three instances had a boyfriend/fiance who stayed over often, if not nightly. I like communal living, which is odd because in general I'm a bit of a misanthrope.
For 3 months in college when I was the only one staying on campus for a summer. It was fine. If I had had friends still in town I would’ve liked it more. But I was pretty lonely. Class, work, home by myself every single day.
I lived alone for 6 weeks in grad school in between my roommate's wedding and my own. Those months in grad school are also the only time (other than a few summers home) that I had a room to myself long term also.
Yes. It was glorious. Can't wait to do it again, lol.
This. LOL
When things with me and H were getting serious I was like "shit...I've never lived alone". I called him and was like "I think I want to move out of my roommate situation into this apt by myself. Can you help me move on this date?" and he got VERY quiet. I later found out it was because he didn't know if he should invite me to live with him and I was like "No. When I said alone I meant alone. I'm signing a one year lease ALONE".
It was like....the best year of my life. I think about it all the time. LOL
Post by chickadee77 on May 26, 2021 7:53:05 GMT -5
Yup. I loved it - no roommate drama, and if someone left dishes in the sink, well, I knew who to blame!
Like someone above said, my H also lived alone for awhile, so he's pretty easy to live with for the most part @@ My kids, on the other hand... terrible roommates, but the kisses and hugs are worth it.
Yes, I had my own apartment for four years between graduating from college and getting married. I loved the independence and the peace and quiet, but after four years of living with roommates it was a little lonely. Also, this isn't the same, but I very much enjoyed being alone when H traveled for work full-time.
Young adults living alone is relatively new trend. Even in my mom's generation, moving out of her parents' house before she was married made her an outlier among her friends.
Yes for two years in college and one year after college. I didn’t mind it, but I think I watch too much true crime and read too many thriller novels that I creep myself out. If I lived alone again, I’d at least want a dog with me.
Post by penguingrrl on May 26, 2021 7:56:49 GMT -5
I never have. In grad school I rented a room in a house with two other grad students who I had never met prior to moving in and haven’t spoken to since, but that’s the closest I’ve been. I’ve never earned enough money to afford to live fully alone. I’ve also never wanted to, so that works out for me.
I did for a year. I didn't really know anyone in the city at the time, so it was lonely. I moved in with a roommate the next year and that was better. We were still pretty independent from each other, but hung out sometimes and it was nice to have another person around. We moved in together like a week before 9/11, and I was glad to not be alone at that time.
My H still lived at home when we started getting serious. I actually told him that he needed to live on his own before I would consider marrying him. I didn't want him moving straight from his mom's house to mine. It was important to me that he experienced doing everything for himself.
Nope. As an adult, I have only had my own room for a 6 month study abroad in an apartment I shared w/3 other people (shared bathroom too). I even shared a studio w/another law student for 1 & 2L years.
Yes, right after college. I was dating DH though so he would stay over a lot. At the time, I found it pretty boring. I didnt have a lot of money and I wasn't comfortable driving (I have a bad sense of direction and got anxiety about going places I wasn't familiar with). As an adult with Waze and a disposable income, I would be able to do it justice.
Post by mysteriouswife on May 26, 2021 8:12:35 GMT -5
Nope. H and I started dating in HS. The day I graduated was the last night I lived with my parents. I moved in with H’s family the next day. Then we rented his childhood home when his dad moved out state a short time after that. We were married before we moved into our own place. We have let various family live with us through the years.
Yes and I miss it. I mostly miss sleeping alone. I often joke (but I'm kind of not joking) that my H and I should rent 1 bedroom apartments next door to each other.
I went from my parents' house, to the dorms, to a house with friends, back to my parents' house, to living with my BF/FI/H.
Then when I got divorced I finally got my own place, and it was A-MA-ZING. I realized that I really was way more capable and adult-like than I ever really knew. It was a great feeling, and it really did a lot for my self-confidence.
Now I live with FI (he moved into my house) and while I do love living with him, man do I miss living alone sometimes.
Post by Velar Fricative on May 26, 2021 8:19:44 GMT -5
Nope, never. I've never even had my own room in my whole entire life. Shared a room with at least one sibling (I'm the second of four kids, so I didn't even have my own room as a baby!), always had roommates in college, moved back home for a little bit after college and had to still share a room, then moved in with my then-boyfriend and now-DH.
Honestly, being and especially sleeping alone freaks me out and I think sharing a room with someone my whole life probably has a lot to do with it. So outright living alone would be a serious adjustment.