*naeljun*

[doriswe]

So what time did DD end up getting home last night??

[stephbfan]

I want to know too!!!

[naeljun]

She got in a little before 10:00. She was so tired this morning. I let her sleep a little bit later and we were about 20 mins late.

My EH is such a fucking douche bag. I will definitely find some time today to post the whole story but I have a ton of work to do right now.

[doriswe]

10...on a school night?? And he's still alive to tell the tale???

[stephbfan]

What time does your DD go to bed?

I would be sending him an email telling him how the drop off time cannot be later than her bedtime-20min or something.

And before we all think of ways to make him go away, does this happen often or was it a one time thing for an especial event?

[naeljun]

She goes to bed at 8:00. This was a random thing but still..... 10:00 on a school night but I am a bad mother because I wanted her to come home early. Just wait. He is a piece of work.

[stephbfan]

Sept 24, 2012 9:08:00 GMT -5 naeljun said:

She goes to bed at 8:00. This was a random thing but still..... 10:00 on a school night but I am a bad mother because I wanted her to come home early. Just wait. He is a piece of work.

Did he have any good reasons to drop her off that late or he was just being a dick.

I remember that when I still lived close to my ex, He used to get overnights during the week and I would get her at around 8am the next morning. He picked up DD at 4 30 pm and told to come pick her up at 10. I went out that night, and I was making out with a guy when I received a phone call from him at 11pm asking me why I wasn't there to pick up DD. I flipped first because he never told me 10pm he just said 10 and who the fuck does a visitation exchange that late?! Needless to say, he never did it again.

[naeljun]

So here's the deal with yesterday.

A few months ago EH asked if he could take Ella to this music festival yesterday because it fell on my weekend. I agreed. There was no discussion of times then because the details for the festival were not released yet.

Fast forward to Saturday night before the show... Text conversation b/t me and ex went something like...what time are you picking E up tmrw morning..8:30, OK, what should I put on her (thinking he had something already but had a different mindset), he replied, "it is going to be 72 so a dress or skirt but give her something warmer for at night" I replied..home by 8:00 though. didn't hear anything back from him.

Yesterday am, EX comes to pick up DD and asks me where her uniform and stuff were for today. I asked him why and he said b/c she was staying over. I said she wasn't and we never discussed that. He started yelling at me in front of DD and I remained calm and asked him to stop yelling at me. DD started sobbing and telling us to stop fighting. I wasn't fighting, he was. He yelled at me why I change things all the time on him. I replied I didn't change anything, nothing was discussed and my text to him was that she was to be home at 8:00. He said he thought that meant I would be home by 8 in the morning. :-| (He is so fucking stupid) During this I was getting DD and taking her upstairs to calm her down and get her a pair of leggings and her sweater. I guess he went outside when I was upstairs.

E and I came down and he was outside still yelling at me. Ugh. I just ignored him and stood at the door watching E walk outside. In the meantime I looked for my support check from last week that he left on my table. It was no longer there so I asked him if he took it back. He said yes because I wasn't letting her stay over. I said it didn't work that way and he said it does now. Ugh, again. If I had noticed the check wasn't there, I would have probably just closed and locked the door before sending DD out and refused to let her go. It was my weekend after all.

So I text him and remind him she needs to be home by 8:00 because it is a school night. Typically on Sunday nights, she is home by 7:00 so I was already giving him MY day and an extra hour. He said no. He wouldn't have her home by 8:00 and that by me allowing her to go, I was OK with this. Told me not to play dumb and that DD was happy and this was about her and not me. [WHAT?] I said that she had school in the morning and she wasn't 3 where she would get a nap at daycare and that if I didn't care about her, I would have stopped her from going altogether. I suggested I go to the festival and pick her up to bring her home in enough time for bed. He said that it was a great idea and to text him when I got there. I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not so I asked him and he didn't get back to me for a few hours.

When he got back to me he said it was "crazy but fitting" and how I had to make her upset and miserable like me because I wanted to come get her early. Saying I was only hurting E and doing it out of spite.

My reply was "WTF is wrong with you? It is a school night." In other words I'm not doing anything out of spite, I'm doing it out of love. I asked him what time he was planning on having her home and if he had to drop his GF and her DD off at home first. He did so I asked him again to please tell me what the plan is. I said "why do you play games? Should I drive up there to get her or will you have her home at a decent hour?"

His reply was that he hadn't changed anything he said. Um, he didn't say anything...but whatever and she will be fine if he brings her home late.

Me: "Just STOP. I can't deal with this anymore. What time are you planning on her walking through my door. Just give me a fucking time, you fucking idiot." Yeah I got a little pissed.

Him: "You are an embarrassment. All I did today was show our daughter a great time. We have VIP passes and all you want is her to leave?"

Me: "Just give me a time. She has school in the morning, give me a time.

Him: "9 latest"

Me: "thank you. That is all I needed to know"

Him" "You are a joke. I couldn't respect you any less"

Me: "Do you think I care? You are a piece of shit loser who will never amount to anything in your life because you are a lazy ass mama's boy.

Him"Means a lot. Just try to be a better mom. Isn't a lot to ask for the one good thing in your life."

Me "I'm a great mom"

Him "you are full of shit. Go take a nap"

Me" Don't need one but thanks. I'm not a great mom because I wanted my child home on a decent hour on a school night? How does that even make sense. Go back to your poor unsuspecting girlfriend who thinks you are so much better than you actually are and our daughter. I am done talking to you now. I will see you when you drop E and the support check off to me. "

Him "Pathetic joke of a person you are"

At 8:26 he texted me again saying he was on way to GF house .

DD walked in the door just before 10:00

Fucking loser he is.

[naeljun]

Damn that is long.

[turtle1120]

Well, I guess that's the last time you let him take her on one of your days, huh? I'm sorry you had to deal with him. That was such a douchetastic move on his part.

[jojoandleo]

Sept 24, 2012 12:44:06 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

Well, I guess that's the last time you let him take her on one of your days, huh? I'm sorry you had to deal with him. That was such a douchetastic move on his part.

Agreed. No more accommodating for him if he can't play by the rules. Did he give you the support check?

[explorer2001]

How involved as the courts? He stole back the support check! He's a nutter. You're a great mom and yes hurting your daughter by keeping her out too late on a school night and taking away her legally required support. What a douche.

[chrissie3416]

What an ASS!

[naeljun]

Oh no. No more allowing him to do this. I was supposed to take DD to the same festival on Saturday but decided against it. If I had taken her, I would not have allowed her to go yesterday.

He did give me the check back.

He is really messed up. I don't think I did anything wrong by wanting her to come home at a decent hour. OH and she called me after the middle texts when he said 9 latest and said thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you mommy for letting me stay. So he told her I was making her go home. fucking douche bag. I really can't stand him.

[doriswe]

Ugh, what a fucking mess!!

While I totally agree that he was wayyyyyy the hell out of line, you have to be the grown-up and not engage with him.

[naeljun]

I tried and I did not reply after I said I was done. I needed to reply to get answers. I probably could have just continued to ask what time without saying anything else.

[stephbfan]

I wouldn't have let her go. He is such a moron!!

[naeljun]

Sept 24, 2012 13:19:31 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

I wouldn't have let her go. He is such a moron!!

Honestly, if she hadn't already been outside I wouldn't have. He has made a scene at my house before which resulted in me calling the police.

[hainesherway]

Ugh, sorry you had to go through that! He should totally understand that she needs to be home before bedtime on a school night!

Just curious- how old is your DD, and what is her bedtime?

[naeljun]

She is 7 and she goes to bed at 8:00. I usually start bed time at 7:50 with her having to go upstairs and brush her teeth and get her book and get into bed. The latest she ever stays up is 9:00 on the weekends but it is usually just because we are hanging watching TV snuggling on the couch...she isn't up running around the house.