lol first of all, Chrome gives me subject suggestions from ones I've typed before. I have apparently never started a Saturday Randoms, but have all the other days.
Anyway. Donny had his first training class last night. It was so cool how they had these tall cardboard barriers that had all of the dogs hidden from one another. Some dogs still barked and reacted just from the sounds, but it was amazingly effective. Donny's ears perked up when some dogs really got going, but he didn't react himself. And the one time we came from around the barrier to practice clicker stuff and treating, he did so well! He was obviously anxious, but didn't react/bark and even offered me eye contact a couple of times. And the instructor said my mechanics were "lovely" :::hair flip::: lol
I'm making my packing list for vacation and I am SO ready to gooooooooo.
Post by followyourarrow on Jun 29, 2021 11:42:29 GMT -5
A coworker who go the vaccine (Pfizer if it's relevant) got Covid. Work is freaking out a little bit. Thankfully coworker has very mild symptoms and is doing well.
Post by georgeharrison on Jun 29, 2021 11:56:50 GMT -5
Turns out the dude that I mentioned last week that met, fell in love, and made public his new relationship four months after his wife died actually met this woman 3 weeks after his wife died. It is none of my beeswax, but it bothers me SO MUCH. I don't know if it is because the wife was kind of a friend or because it hurts my feelings to think of my husband moving on so quickly.
I have the neighbor's cousin (who has a construction company) working on my bathroom yesterday and today. I'm afraid he's doing a bad job. I should have hired a stranger.
Post by RoxMonster on Jun 29, 2021 11:59:27 GMT -5
Rox has been limping more than usual lately, so we had her sedated to get X-Rays done today. The vet suspected just more arthritis that got aggravated, and that is what it is. When she had her bee sting on her right paw last week, she was putting so much pressure on her left leg and possibly came down on it too hard one time. Her left elbow has the worst arthritis, but she also has some on her right elbow, spine, and neck.
Our vet doesn't do cold laser therapy but another in town does, so I think we're going to give that a try. She is already on several pain meds. Ugh getting older sucks
Now she is just high for the next few hours because they gave her a really strong pain shot sine she couldn't have her meds this morning.
Turns out the dude that I mentioned last week that met, fell in love, and made public his new relationship four months after his wife died actually met this woman 3 weeks after his wife died. It is none of my beeswax, but it bothers me SO MUCH. I don't know if it is because the wife was kind of a friend or because it hurts my feelings to think of my husband moving on so quickly.
This is most definitely one of those situations that no one should have any opinion on. No one knows what was going on in his first relationship or his new relationship. Maybe his wife would be tickled pink for him. Maybe not. No one will ever know.
Turns out the dude that I mentioned last week that met, fell in love, and made public his new relationship four months after his wife died actually met this woman 3 weeks after his wife died. It is none of my beeswax, but it bothers me SO MUCH. I don't know if it is because the wife was kind of a friend or because it hurts my feelings to think of my husband moving on so quickly.
I have the neighbor's cousin (who has a construction company) working on my bathroom yesterday and today. I'm afraid he's doing a bad job. I should have hired a stranger.
Grief is a weird thing. I know you feel defensive on your friend's behalf, but you can't put rules around the way someone processes the death of a loved one.
I will admit that there is a time that I would have been really bothered by this too, but the older I get, the more I feel like life is for the living, you know? If this relationship is bringing him comfort and a piece of happiness during a very dark time in his life, who are we to tell him that he has to go be miserable for a while longer first?
To your second point-- we know a ton of contractors/plumbers/electricians, etc. We used to use them when we were younger, but learned quickly that it made things too awkward. Now when we hire something out, finding someone that we have no connection to is a top priority.
I got a two hour "break" from my kid in which I stripped our bed, remade it, folded laundry, started a new load of laundry, registered said kid for preschool, cancelled my BOTM subscription, printed out a return label for some glasses that didn't work out, and now my "break" is over. I really enjoyed that.
georgeharrison, I can't judge, although I guess given I have a young child, I would probably be a bit more put off. But maybe I'm just one of those people that can't imagine juggling both my kid and dating, lol.
OMG my kid is being a BEAR right now. I'm hoping it's just a mix of being at the beach and seeing her friends after a year apart, but DUDE, calm yourself. She's now currently making her own grocery list because she wasn't happy my dad didn't buy her all the snack foods she wanted.
DH and I were in the courtyard this morning, and through the slats in the fence I saw movement out back. Someone was just hanging out back there...for kind of a long time before something caught its eye.
We’re still waiting on the details of DH’s job offer. This has been four of the longest days of my life! I found a new gray hair this morning right on the top of my head. I’m certain this stress is the reason.
Also, my mom had some of my grandfather's old movies digitized and she got them and wow, seeing them on video was surreal. They've been gone for so long I almost sometimes forget what they looked like. E also got to see my mom and dad before they were married. We were laughing at the clothing from back then.
I was really craving a milkshake so I drove to a Friendly’s and got one at like 10 AM and the place was packed. Who knew? It was really good then I felt like I should eat actual food and made myself lunch and now I am too full. I should have accepted a milkshake was a meal.
Also, I emailed my agent with a new pitch and she “loves” it. Fingers crossed we can make this one a reality.
Post by notsopicky on Jun 29, 2021 12:44:02 GMT -5
I'm (irrationally?) pissed off at my dogs. I took them to the groomer to get their nails clipped, and they both freaked out so much that she couldn't do them.
Now I have to take them to the vet, where it's 2X the price, and a 1/2 hour from my damn house.
Post by starburst604 on Jun 29, 2021 13:17:10 GMT -5
I hurt my hand this morning trying to poke a hole into a mason jar lid with a screwdriver (in a foolishly unsafe manner). I stabbed myself pretty badly on my palm kind of between my thumb and forefinger and my whole hand hurts like a bitch. It only bled a bit and the stab wound is tiny, but I can barely open and close my hand right now and all 5 fingers hurt. I iced it and took ibuprofen but I'm scared of how this will feel tomorrow. I have to teach a boot camp and am not sure I'll be able to grip a weight or put any bodyweight on it.
Turns out the dude that I mentioned last week that met, fell in love, and made public his new relationship four months after his wife died actually met this woman 3 weeks after his wife died. It is none of my beeswax, but it bothers me SO MUCH. I don't know if it is because the wife was kind of a friend or because it hurts my feelings to think of my husband moving on so quickly.
I have the neighbor's cousin (who has a construction company) working on my bathroom yesterday and today. I'm afraid he's doing a bad job. I should have hired a stranger.
This is just so, so common — particularly for men. My mother died in April (several years ago) and by Labor Day my dad let us all know he was internet dating — which likely means he had started by June. By that fall, he was super attached to one particular person. That didn’t work out, but there were a few pretty serious girlfriends until he remarried maybe three years after my mom died. There was zero chance my dad would be single long. He married someone not great — they are already having issues. I mean he isn’t great either — but she already had several divorces. It will be interesting to see if they stick together given how old they are at this point.
Turns out the dude that I mentioned last week that met, fell in love, and made public his new relationship four months after his wife died actually met this woman 3 weeks after his wife died. It is none of my beeswax, but it bothers me SO MUCH. I don't know if it is because the wife was kind of a friend or because it hurts my feelings to think of my husband moving on so quickly.
I have the neighbor's cousin (who has a construction company) working on my bathroom yesterday and today. I'm afraid he's doing a bad job. I should have hired a stranger.
My sisters BFF died of cancer, and her husband fell in love several years later, married has another child. My sister has had weird feelings at each of the new milestones, even knowing it’s what her BFF wanted, and the timing being much further than your friends. (And part of the feelings being happiness that he found love again) I say this to say, you will have emotions no matter the timeline, that’s normal. I am sorry about your loss.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Jun 29, 2021 13:37:36 GMT -5
One of my very close friends started dating a guy very soon after her husband died. She wasn't expecting it, but it happened. They took it slow and she kept it under wraps for a while because of the negative hateful comments she received.
They are still together years later.
I used to judge until my friend went through it, and now I don't. You will never know how you will react to certain situations and you may surprise yourself. Grief is weird.
England beat Germany. It's a freaking miracle! (and now the little Englanders will be even more asshole-ish, but, I'm happy for the boys who played).
My H is from England, so we just played hookie for a couple of hours from work and went to a "British style" pub and watched the game. There were a bunch of other England fans there and it was really fun. I almost forgot how much I love watching sports at bars. I am looking forward to Saturday's game.
This is my last work from home day. Sadly, since I just took a couple of hours off in the middle the day, I'm going to be working into the evening. I am going to miss having this flexibility. Starting next week, we are all back in the office 100%. This morning I slept until 7, worked out, showered, did some laundry, and watered some flowers all before my start time of 9am. Commuting sucks.
Turns out the dude that I mentioned last week that met, fell in love, and made public his new relationship four months after his wife died actually met this woman 3 weeks after his wife died. It is none of my beeswax, but it bothers me SO MUCH. I don't know if it is because the wife was kind of a friend or because it hurts my feelings to think of my husband moving on so quickly.
I have the neighbor's cousin (who has a construction company) working on my bathroom yesterday and today. I'm afraid he's doing a bad job. I should have hired a stranger.
IDK, everyone else is saying not to judge, but I totally would be bothered too. 3 weeks is so soon. 4 months is soon. Unless their relationship was essentially over before she died, there is no way he's "over" the loss or has had time to properly process the magnitude of it. And I wonder about the judgement of a woman (or man) who would want to date someone who had been through such a huge loss so recently. Wouldn't she be worried that she was just a rebound and that he was grieving someone else instead of being able to focus fully on her? It just sounds really unhealthy for all involved. I would hope the best for everyone and cross my fingers that it works out, but I would totally not expect it to lead to happily ever after, either.
ETA: I guess I judge less starting to date a few months after the loss, but I think 4 months is a little soon to be announcing on facebook that you have a new love, especially when you are connected to a bunch of your late wife's friends and family and they will see it.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Jun 29, 2021 13:48:36 GMT -5
Our connected townhouse neighbor is serious with a guy who has a son a year older than ours. They hung out last night riding bikes up and down the street and playing basketball for 3 hours.
They both came inside to scarff down some dinner and then head back out. It was glorious and the first time we have experienced this for him.
I dated a guy about 6 months after his wife died in a horrific car accident. I wasn't the first person he dated either, he dated someone from the grief counseling class he went to which I guess is fairly common. These people are just looking for some normalcy in their life.
Honestly, I don't think it was weird for him but it was weird for me at the time. He still had pictures of her up in the house which was uncomfortable. of course, I was young (I think 25ish) but looking back now it wouldn't bug me at all if that were to happen today. I probably would find it weirder if he took all pictures down of her.
I guess it's just to say that a) you don't know how you'd react and b) as you get older, you realize how short life is and if you find someone that makes you happy, even if it's for a moment, you grab onto it. Especially if you've been through something horrible like an unexpected loss of a spouse.
You can move on "too soon" and it still doesn't mean that it isn't a perfectly normal, acceptable way to deal with grief. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the love you had for your partner. In fact often partners who were very happy and fulfilled are the ones who want to try to find that again. It might not seem rational. It might not end in the most positive way. But it doesn't make it wrong.
Never in a million years would I have thought my dad would move on so quickly after a very loving, long marriage. As a adult child it certainly was hard at first to wrap our brains around it. And he dated some absolute doozies. And I do think he did it too soon. He was still so deep in his grief. But where he is now four years after my mom died is a pretty happy place with his girlfriend. And that is so much better than him sitting at home calling us crying every night. I am forever grateful he found a new partner.
So my suggestion is to just be loving and supportive if you know someone dealing with this. They aren't going to always make the best decisions, but have empathy for the place they are in right now.
As you can tell this is a sensitive topic for me. Grief in general, and judgement around it, is a soapbox topic for me.
Turns out the dude that I mentioned last week that met, fell in love, and made public his new relationship four months after his wife died actually met this woman 3 weeks after his wife died. It is none of my beeswax, but it bothers me SO MUCH. I don't know if it is because the wife was kind of a friend or because it hurts my feelings to think of my husband moving on so quickly.
I have the neighbor's cousin (who has a construction company) working on my bathroom yesterday and today. I'm afraid he's doing a bad job. I should have hired a stranger.
IDK, everyone else is saying not to judge, but I totally would be bothered too. 3 weeks is so soon. 4 months is soon. Unless their relationship was essentially over before she died, there is no way he's "over" the loss or has had time to properly process the magnitude of it. And I wonder about the judgement of a woman (or man) who would want to date someone who had been through such a huge loss so recently. Wouldn't she be worried that she was just a rebound and that he was grieving someone else instead of being able to focus fully on her? It just sounds really unhealthy for all involved. I would hope the best for everyone and cross my fingers that it works out, but I would totally not expect it to lead to happily ever after, either.
ETA: I guess I judge less starting to date a few months after the loss, but I think 4 months is a little soon to be announcing on facebook that you have a new love, especially when you are connected to a bunch of your late wife's friends and family and they will see it.
So how long is long enough then? How does anyone know how long it takes someone else to grieve? Why would anyone put a caveat on someone else’s grief?
My daughter just asked me if I would be willing to take her, SD, and two of their friends down the shore for the weekend next month, or at least an overnight. I have to check with H, but I would like to try to make it happen.
My puppy started limping out of nowhere this afternoon and keeps licking and chewing on her foot. I can't see anything, but I think she might have gotten stung by a bee.
I get super annoyed at grief-judgers. What the hell do you know? About their marriage, about the survivor’s mental health, emotional needs, etc. What would make you happy? Why should they care that you’re not happy? Does it affect you and your life in even the tiniest manner?
The only exception I’d have is worry that someone’s grief was being exploited, but that’s not a judgment on the widow.
In the celebrity world, Patton Oswalt caught a ton of crap for remarrying soon after his wife’s sudden death. But his daughter seems to be thriving in a happy, loving family. In my own life, a dear friend grieved for as long as was healthy for her, found love again, and still mourns the loss of her first husband.
Just because someone is looking for new love doesn’t mean he or she is finished grieving. You’re never finished grieving, but some people want to find love, companionship, and support again, and soon. Don’t judge.