Work / Family - COVID advice?

[mrsann]

How have you handled required in-person meetings over the last 2 months?

DH and I have both been 100% WFH since March. We are both fully vaccinated but still remained very careful as not the greatest vaccination rates locally. Also, DD (14 months) is on day 12 of pretty severe RSV - she is turning corner but has had 4 pediatrician visits, 103+ fever, terrible cough, dehydration concerns, three different medicines, etc. (so fully recognize having very recently sick child is coloring this).

DH just got required in person meeting for early August. It is 2 days, approximately 45 participants, location state has vaccination rates in low 30s, all airplane travel and zero mention of covid protocols (company leader said multiple times “COVID is over”). Company has approximate 600 employees so not super small.

Is it worth anonymous HR email to try to get some safety added or is this just new normal?

[ohgillian]

I have two unvaccinated children at home, but I feel like one of the points of my getting vaccinated was that I could get on with my life. I am back in the office full-time.

I also don’t think that anonymous emails are ever a good idea or are useful. If he’s concerned about retribution, he should approach HR with a group of colleagues.

I’m sorry your daughter had RSV. I know how terrifying that can be in young infants.

[RoxMonster]

I have had to attend mandatory in-person meetings (usually with little or no social distancing) since last August. I fought and fought and fought with admin about this (I'm a teacher), and they only went to Zoom meetings in Nov. for like a month when we had a horrible surge here. Now, mine didn't involve airplane travel.

Are they doing masks at least? I think many companies are moving back to in-person stuff. I would probably be OK with it; I would feel better if there was some distancing and masking (since likely you won't know who is vaccinated or not).

And I admit I may be more "OK" with this stuff just because I was forced back into "regular" settings so so early at a job that acted like there wasn't a pandemic. It wasn't right, but I just got used to it.

[mambo123]

Eh, full conferences are happening now. I’m headed to one this month and it wasn’t much of a choice. Another in early August. I’m in office twice a week and there are no masks but all are vaccinated.

I don’t think the email is a good idea. Another pp mentioned banding together with the colleagues but you didn’t mention that others had an issue?

If he doesn’t feel like he can decline and site Covid as a reason he will need to mask up at all times and skip out on group meals?

At this point it seems as if most will do what they need to do personally (masks etc), and that’s about it.

[georgeglass]

I'm sorry. I know it's hard.

We have been in person since June 2020 and the first few months were high anxiety, but everyone found their groove and once vaccinations started, it felt much better. I know RSV is tough and that has led to heightened anxiety in your home, I'm sure.

[ssmjlm]

I’m on leave, but they are doing a small conference at my office next week. Now we’re talking less than 20 people, but not all are local.

Many are driving, but as far as I know, all are vaccinated.

If I was at work, I would attend. I am still nervous about catching it and giving it to my kid or senior parents, but I also have to still work as a part of management.

[CloudBee]

DH's office opened a few weeks ago, and everyone has to go in 2-3 days per week.

They are still having virtual meetings from their offices and cubes with webcams. There's no end in sight for that, as they are issuing everyone new laptops with upgraded webcams in the coming weeks. I think the only reason they are having anyone come into the office is because when Covid hit, they had just signed a new 10 yr lease for their prime office space. LOL.

[boiler717]

I am still no in-person work or travel and will not until my 5 year old is vaccinated.
My husband does see patients in clinic one day a week, but the entire office staff is vaccinated as are most of his patients, plus they still require masks. He has some academic meetings in person but everyone in his dept is vaccinated.

[macmars45]

My H is going to a work conference OOS in mid October. Hopefully DS(5) can be at least partially vaxxed by then.

ETA: We have been very careful as well. H 100% WFH and I SAH with DS. Vaccination rates aren't very good in my red city.

[Jalapeñomel]

Don’t think there’s much to do done, and you have to follow what they’re asking or find a new job.

[mrsann]

Thanks all - good to get other perspectives!

Without unvaccinated children, this would feel much different. Pre-RSV, I also think I might be breezier but that has been so tough. She has wheezed multiple days and one sick visit seemed close to hospital (based on the next steps and instructions we got).

Considering his boss’s comments and other interactions, he expects no masks and retribution if he tries to wear one / skip higher risk activities such as bars. He knows a couple are vaccinated and a couple are not but not status of most. There are others with young children. Sounds like he needs to stick close to those he knows are vaccinated and hope for the the best.

[Leeham Rimes]

I live in Florida. There are no longer any precautions unless the private business put them in place. There is no way one email from one anonymous person is going to make them put any sort of preventative measures in place.

What does make me feel better is that, being fully vaccinated, from what I’ve been reading from epidemiologists that I know (who share additional information from other epidemiologists) is that the chance of your husband (a) getting covid and then (b) giving it to your unvaccinated kids is very very small. The people who travel unvaccinated are at far greater risk of both those things.

Airlines are enforcing masks but planes are pretty packed. As long as your husband is fully vaxxed there is a very small risk to him and then even smaller to give it to others. And certainly more so if he masks, sanitizes, etc, regardless of what anyone else is doing.

I feel you bc my kids (8 and 10) are too young for vaccinations and their school is making masks optional starting in august, so I’m not feeling good about that at all.

[erbear]

You have a high risk child who can’t be vaccinated. I’d have DH mask and distance.

[sandandsea]

Jul 2, 2021 16:33:41 GMT -5 erbear said:

You have a high risk child who can’t be vaccinated. I’d have DH mask and distance.

This. I think with all the precautions he alone can take, the risk is very very low. He is vaccinated, can double mask 100% of the time, sanitize hands often, social distance when possible. Also he could get a rapid test when he gets home and spend an extra day or two distanced from you or your daughter once he’s back home if it makes you feel more comfortable.

I agree with PP, if you really aren’t comfortable with it, he can ask for accommodations with regards to the meeting.

[orangello]

Upon his return, have him isolate for a few days and then run to Walgreens for a test. I just had to get one for upcoming travel, and they’re so much easier now.

I’m a manager and have been working with employees through a lot of these same issues. All you can do at this point is manage yourself. As long as his company isn’t flaunting any rules, there’s little to be done at this point. The only issue I see with what you’ve written above is retribution for wearing a mask - that is an issue and should be brought up with HR.

[notoriousmeg]

I’m sorry your little one is sick. That definitely adds stress. I would not send an email. Your H should talk to his boss and explain his situation if he is not comfortable. My office is back doing meetings/social gatherings, and I have be okay joining as we have to be fully vaccinated to be back in our office. If anyone voiced a valid concern they would not be forced to join.

[eddy]

I am vaccinated, in my office full time and participating in in person meetings.

I am also in the camp that I got vaccinated so I could put all of this behind me. I feel safe.

edit I was also someone forced back to “normal” last summer. So certainly by this point with vaccines I feel very safe. I worked through my anxieties long ago. 

[circa1978]

I honestly don't know how to feel. I went to work this week with no mask, fully vaccinated. Felt OK-ish about it. Yesterday STL city and county was like, ope, put your masks back on folks - even if you are vaccinated  - because of rising Delta variants and an increasing number of young people (kids?) getting sick. So I don't know what the fuck to do anymore.

[thebreakfastclub]

At my work, you have to prove your vaccination status in order to not wear a mask. I am glad we have that policy. In this case, I'd still feel ok because I'm vaccinated and I trust it.

[kooshball]

We haven't had any yet.

[krystee]

I just went to a 20-person in-person meeting at work, but we were all required to prove full vaccination before being onsite, so I felt totally fine. Honestly even if not everyone was vaccinated, I would have felt okay. Our rates are among the lowest in the country and I just read about the party in Sydney where all 24 unvaccinated people got the Delta variant and 0 vaccinated people got it, and that has increased my confidence in the vaccine. As long as he is vaccinated, I think he’s fine.

[dochas]

Jul 2, 2021 16:54:36 GMT -5 orangello said:

Upon his return, have him isolate for a few days and then run to Walgreens for a test. I just had to get one for upcoming travel, and they’re so much easier now.

I’m a manager and have been working with employees through a lot of these same issues. All you can do at this point is manage yourself. As long as his company isn’t flaunting any rules, there’s little to be done at this point. The only issue I see with what you’ve written above is retribution for wearing a mask - that is an issue and should be brought up with HR.

Isolating upon return is a great idea. I don't think an anonymous email will do anything, and the risk is so low if vaccinated, but isolating will keep you and your daughter from getting anything else he might pick up on the trip.

[formerlyak]

If it makes you feel better, my DH has been in person this whole time. His work cannot be done remotely due to clearances. The first few months were very scary. We’d make him go in the side door and shower immediately before he had any interactions with us. But we’ve learned a lot over the past 15 months, and it’s a lot easier now. Our youngest is still not able to be vaccinated. I get that fear. But science tells us if your DH is vaccinated, wears a mask and is careful, you should be fine. The first meetings will for sure be the hardest.

As for his fear of retribution if he wears a mask, it sounds like a big company. Big enough for an HR department at least. If there is, in fact, retribution for wearing a mask as an extra layer of protection for your young, unable to be vaccinated child, that’s when a (not anonymous) email to HR would be appropriate.

[penguingrrl]

I have been back in my office and open to the public since last June (large living history museum, so we kept things mostly outdoors). I was super nervous because my H is immunocompromised, but I also have to work. It has been fine.

Our office has a large amount of space, and we took turns eating lunch (no break room) so we weren’t unmasked at the same time. Now that we’re all vaccinated (there are 5 of us) we remove masks while sitting at our spaced out desks, but wear them if we’re up and out of our desks.

I would do this meeting since he has to, but also let his boss know that he can’t be unmasked. I explained the risks to my coworkers early on, so they know how bad an unlikely breakthrough infection could be for my household and are respectful of that.