Honestly, discussing these things creates clarity and avoids surprises.
My brother spent his marriage without a prenup but they kept separate accounts. For some reason he thought that meant he had full ownership of the accounts in his name and vice versa. He was completely surprised when they divorced that earnings during the marriage were community property. He felt like he had to ‘give’ her money that was always legally hers.
All that mess could have been avoided if they’d discussed how they wanted to own property and formalized it with a prenup. I don’t think either of them had a clue until the divorce lawyers explained it to them.
My husband and I had a big conversation about property laws before marriage. while we don’t have a prenup, that is because we opted into the CA statutory structure.
I think they’re a good idea, but it’s not a one-size-fits-all. I’ve heard not to be too reliant on them for protection.
I’ve decided I would like one in any future marriage I have. SO agrees. I have kids that aren’t biologically his. It’s complicated and I can’t imagine just hoping for things to work out/have (another) amicable divorce.
The good thing about having been divorced before is you have some idea of what worked or didn’t in the past. Both of us have discussed those lessons at length and feel on the same page. He is probably financially ahead of me, but I will catch up quite a bit after my dad’s estate settles.
My H offered a prenup before we even seriously started talking marriage; we were friends when I was getting divorced and he saw how that all happened. I said no, because I had nothing after my divorce anyway. 🤪 I guess I didn’t think about the fact that I was coming into this marriage with a kid of my own and how that would play into it. But pretty much everything we have now has been a product of our marriage anyway. And H has provided financially more for DS than XH anyway, even prior to his death.
Post by mcppalmbeach on Jul 11, 2021 19:36:24 GMT -5
H and I have not much and are not likely to ever have “much” lol. If we get divorced we’ll be pretty financially screwed so it probably won’t matter to me either way. If one of us dies and we collect on our term policies then that would be different and absolutely I would want one to protect our kids.
H’s dad is getting remarried and we have pushed him and his wife both to get a prenup to make all their kids’ lives easier . His fi owns the home they are going to be living in so they also need to determine what happens if she passes first. It’s their business how they work it out, but we’d like it all laid out very straightforward and legally.
Still married, but no prenup. We were both broke, early 20’s with absolutely nothing so it wasn’t relevant. If I were to some reason get divorced and remarried, yes I would absolutely get a prenup. Mostly to protect my kids.
I did inherit a large sum from my parents this year and I consulted with an estate and family law attorney. DH is very much under the opinion that that is my money and our state says money gained in an inheritance during a marriage is not a community asset until it is held under both parties. So none of it is under DH and never will be. Basically don’t use your inheritance to buy a joint property or put in in a joint account.
I have a lot more in retirement but his condo is worth a lot more than mine. All our assets from the point of us getting married are ours even without a prenup. I think we are going to pass on it. We both make about the same salary.
Did not have one for my first marriage. Our split was amicable but exH definitely thought he was entitled to (half of) my half of the company I own with my brother. Our operating agreement— that ExH signed but never read— explicitly stated that our spouses could not claim any interest.
I would get one for my second marriage, if that ever happens.
Did not have one for my first marriage. Our split was amicable but exH definitely thought he was entitled to (half of) my half of the company I own with my brother. Our operating agreement— that ExH signed but never read— explicitly stated that our spouses could not claim any interest.
I would get one for my second marriage, if that ever happens.
When they tell you to read what you are signing there is a reason. lol And that agreement makes total sense.
Did not have one for my first marriage. Our split was amicable but exH definitely thought he was entitled to (half of) my half of the company I own with my brother. Our operating agreement— that ExH signed but never read— explicitly stated that our spouses could not claim any interest.
I would get one for my second marriage, if that ever happens.
When they tell you to read what you are signing there is a reason. lol And that agreement makes total sense.
Honestly, discussing these things creates clarity and avoids surprises.
My brother spent his marriage without a prenup but they kept separate accounts. For some reason he thought that meant he had full ownership of the accounts in his name and vice versa. He was completely surprised when they divorced that earnings during the marriage were community property. He felt like he had to ‘give’ her money that was always legally hers.
All that mess could have been avoided if they’d discussed how they wanted to own property and formalized it with a prenup. I don’t think either of them had a clue until the divorce lawyers explained it to them.
My husband and I had a big conversation about property laws before marriage. while we don’t have a prenup, that is because we opted into the CA statutory structure.
Do they live in a community property state? if so, how could they be surprised? But I agree with you; this should all be discussed ahead of time.
Post by followyourarrow on Jul 12, 2021 9:04:51 GMT -5
I didn't with my first marriage, but I absolutely will with a second one. It's about protecting both of us, our retirement, if/when death occurs, etc. The man I've been seeing has a child, so I think it's even more important in this situation.
I didn't with my first and didn't with the second.
First marriage, we didn't have a lot of assets. We both contributed to a 401K/pension and since we were young when we divorced (29) we both agreed to each keep our own retirement. Same with debts. My ex had some debts (student loans) and I had 0. It wasn't even a question who would be responsible for paying off the loans. We had no children.
I entered my second marriage without a lot of assets. I had bought a house in 2007 (high market) and sold it during the divorce in 2012. I made a net profit of $200 and some change! It was good at the time since a lot of people were losing thousands. I had retirement accounts, some cash in various accounts and that was it. My now husband is the one with a lot more assets (house, retirement accounts, investments...). We align pretty well financially. I've built back some assets to my name and we now have a child together. A prenup never came up. If I knew I would be inheriting a lot of money/real estate/a business we would have done it but it isn't the case for either of us.
I wasn't married, but common law with my first relationship. We went to a mediator, mostly to agree on custody issues, and I made sure to include in our agreement that I would keep my retirement contributions.
I got married last year, and we didn't have a prenup. But per our marriage agreement and law here in Brazil, essentially, any assets from before the marriage stay with the individual person, assets accumulated during the marriage belong to both of us. Gifts and inheritances belong solely to the person receiving it, even after marriage.
Was he annoyed when he realized that he could not claim part of the business? lol
He was. I also had an inheritance that he thought he'd get half of. To be fair, though, the company is worth very little on paper (our customers are college athletics departments so COVID did a number on us, and our manufacturing facility is owned privately by our dad). And I used the inheritance to buy him out of the house. So at the end of the day, he left the marriage with a ton more than he came with, and it's decidedly NOT because he is -- or ever has been -- a high wage earner.
I didn't with either. With my first, neither of us had any real assets. With my second, I kind of wondered if H would ask me to sign one because he was 45, had done very well for himself, and had saved a lot and I had just my meager retirement savings. But he didn't. So if he tries to leave me...watch out, sucker lol.
Sorry for resurrecting such an old thread, but I'm curious about a prenup logistical question. I know a prenup helps make sure the assets go where you want them, but what about debts? As I consider a second marriage, I worry about getting tied to my partner's debts. I was burned by my exH and his financial situation and have worked hard to stabilize myself. So can a prenup define that the other person's debt doesn't become my problem?
Sorry for resurrecting such an old thread, but I'm curious about a prenup logistical question. I know a prenup helps make sure the assets go where you want them, but what about debts? As I consider a second marriage, I worry about getting tied to my partner's debts. I was burned by my exH and his financial situation and have worked hard to stabilize myself. So can a prenup define that the other person's debt doesn't become my problem?
A prenup can help separate debts as well as assets, if phrased properly. Talk to a lawyer about it. It was a reason we considered one - but our student loans were already considered separate.