How to get a 12yo to like school?

[cjcouple]

My son has honestly had a difficult school experience for a number of years. There's a long history of struggles that're out of his control. From being displaced by a school fire and bussed to a neighboring town, being in extremely difficult classes and of course COVID these last 2 years has been terrible. His last normal school year was 2017-18 school year. 

I want to help him have a great year and hopefully he starts to love school again like he did years ago. I have him in Karate now and hopeful that he has improved self confidence. I was thinking about having him join a club or 2 as well.  He is also starting percussion this year in school band as well so that's good.  Anything else I can do from home or as a mom?  I will be asking questions about his day and encouraging as much as possible.  Any ideas/tips? thanks
 

                 
    

[af1212]

Aug 16, 2021 10:41:12 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

My son has honestly had a difficult school experience for a number of years. There's a long history of struggles that're out of his control. From being displaced by a school fire and bussed to a neighboring town, being in extremely difficult classes and of course COVID these last 2 years has been terrible. His last normal school year was 2017-18 school year. 

I want to help him have a great year and hopefully he starts to love school again like he did years ago. I have him in Karate now and hopeful that he has improved self confidence. I was thinking about having him join a club or 2 as well.  He is also starting percussion this year in school band as well so that's good.  Anything else I can do from home or as a mom?  I will be asking questions about his day and encouraging as much as possible.  Any ideas/tips? thanks
 

                 
    

Can you connect with someone at the school? Guidance counselor or principal? I think it would help them to know of his last experience and keep an eye on things, set him up for success with peers, etc.

[cjcouple]

Aug 16, 2021 10:43:19 GMT -5 af1212 said:

Aug 16, 2021 10:41:12 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

My son has honestly had a difficult school experience for a number of years. There's a long history of struggles that're out of his control. From being displaced by a school fire and bussed to a neighboring town, being in extremely difficult classes and of course COVID these last 2 years has been terrible. His last normal school year was 2017-18 school year. 

I want to help him have a great year and hopefully he starts to love school again like he did years ago. I have him in Karate now and hopeful that he has improved self confidence. I was thinking about having him join a club or 2 as well.  He is also starting percussion this year in school band as well so that's good.  Anything else I can do from home or as a mom?  I will be asking questions about his day and encouraging as much as possible.  Any ideas/tips? thanks
 

                 
    

Can you connect with someone at the school? Guidance counselor or principal? I think it would help them to know of his last experience and keep an eye on things, set him up for success with peers, etc.

Yes, I spoke with his Principal about my concerns and finding a cohort that is a good fit for him.  I wasn't sure if I should be reaching out to the counselor once she is back.  I'm not sure what to even say or ask for.  We are still on break for a couple more weeks so I can think about what to say.   

[winnied]

I disliked school most of k-12 with a few good years. A lot of it was dependent on the teacher I had and my parents being dedicated to fostering curiosity versus learning facts or achieving certain metrics. But all of this depends on things like:

1) Does he have a a friend or two?
2) Is he being bullied in any way?
3) Is the style of education in the school working for him?
4) Does he like any subjects? Can you focus on the things he does enjoy and and seem good at?

For example, I like learning but I hated a lot of book we were forced to read and I hated the CONSTANT project-based learning with teams and/or art projects associated with everything. I hate team work (I know, horrible to say) and I'm terrible at art. This being huge in 2 of the schools I went to made it miserable.

[W.T.Faulkner]

Joining a club or two is my #1 suggestion for students to feel connected to school. I’m glad that’s on your list!

[cjcouple]

thanks! Those are definitely good points to consider!

[nsl]

Drop a note to his teachers as well--you don't need to go into a ton of detail, but let them know that he's feeling disengaged after a rough few years of school--so they can understand what's going on behind the face they see on the first day. I've had parents do this sporadically throughout the years, and every time it's led to me forming a better bond with their kids.

[cjcouple]

nsl thanks. Great idea.

[Doggy Mommy]

He needs to find his tribe. I think it's a good idea to let teachers know because they can partner him with kids who he might get along well with. We did this in 5th grade last year and two kids really connected and both finally have a good friend for the first time. If there's something he's interested in, joining a club is a great way to meet other kids with similar interests. Not everyone is into academics, but a lot of kids can feel some positive vibes going to school because they get to see their friends, or there's that one class or teacher they really like.