Ex husband vents go here

[formerlyak]

Because I have one ...

My ds had a fever on Saturday afternoon -- I had some virus last week and he must have caught it. It broke about 3 am Sunday morning, so I didn't let him play in his noon Sunday soccer game just in case. By Sunday afternoon it was apparent he was fine, full of energy, no return of the fever. So he went to school this morning and wanted to do running club (the kids run laps around the playground and earn prizes; it's every morning for 20 minutes before school and it is optional, but ds LOVES it). I didn't see any reason why he shouldn't do it so I said it was fine run a few laps. I also said it was fine for hism to go to soccer practice after school.

So ex calls and gives me the third degree about running club and soccer practice and why did I say it is ok for him to do these things today when he has a fever just a few days ago. I told him he needs to trust my judgement and if I thought he wasn't up for it, I wouldn't have let him do it. I reminded him that my mom picks ds up from school to take him to soccer and she will also make sure he is still doing fine before letting him go to practice this afternoon. He started backpedaling and saying "It's not that I don't trust you, I'm just concerned." I cut him off and told him if he trusted me, he needs to trust that I have been with ds all weekend and if I had any doubts I wouldn't let him do it.

Seriously, the longer he is with this girlfriend, the more uptight he becomes.

Anyone have vents?

[blackkitty]

I am waffling on whether to take my XH to court.

He owes me money and I should get our child support arrangement adjusted.
He hasn't worked in 4 years though so he has no source of income

I don't want to pay $1200 for a lawyer to go after money that doesn't exist

I seriously don't know what to do yo.
He keeps saying he's going to pay me "tomorrow"

Also he "threatens" me with the fact that I moved my son 1000 miles away. He says I violated the custody agreement, but he verbally agreed. I have no proof. And I don't know if these things are even related.

[chrissie3416]

My situation is similar to yours BK...mine owes me $. As of 10/1 he will owe me 350 bucks. He isnt working though and told me yesterday that he should be getting unemployment starting this week so Ill get $ "soon". Taking him to court will most likely do nothing so I dont want to waste my $ or time.

[prettyinpearls]

BK – How long ago did you move? If it’s been a substantial amount of time I say that’s “proof” enough, since your XH clearly hasn’t objected to the move.

Chrissie -- $350? Let his arrears build up and the courts will take it from there.

My XH vent is that I suspect he had DS around guns this weekend. DS told me last night “Toys make LOUD NOISE at daddy’s house last time. I didn’t like it momma”. When I asked him what toys he was talking about he said, “Guns that went BOOM BOOM BOOM!” I sent an email to XH asking him to clarify what DS told me, and also asked who was shooting the guns and where it took place. Odds are good I won’t get a reply back, but I’m FUMING. You do NOT take a 2.5 y/o around live firearms. I have nothing against guns (I grew up around them and we some have some in our house…unloaded, locked and safely stored away, of course) but a toddler doesn’t have the mental maturity to fully comprehend what a real gun can do. And the fact he referred to them as TOYS just proves that.

[bowies]

4 YEARS?

How the hell is he surviving?

[chrissie3416]

Our agreement is that he pay 1/2 of everything so 350 is just childcare. It isnt taken from his paycheck either as in NYS he makes too little to have it removed and we have split custody. But it is in our divorce that he will be 1/2 of all her expenses (clothes, school activities, supplies, etc..). I keep track of each expense (and keep receipts) and track it when he does give me money.

[naeljun]

I'm right there with you BK. EH owes me money as well but not sure it is worth the money it will be to get a new attorney and take him back to court.

I posted my vent in my "naeljun" post.

[Deleted]

My vent is that he texted me last night after finding my profile on match saying I'm "a loser to be on there" and he is "so hot that girls would pay him just to look at his face". I ignored him, until he told me he wasn't mad at me for going on match, and said he's coming to talk to me at my workplace today. I told him if he showed up here, I'd call the police. Now I feel like he's stalking me and I'm really upset by it.

[Deleted]

Sept 24, 2012 13:17:20 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

My vent is that he texted me last night after finding my profile on match saying I'm "a loser to be on there" and he is "so hot that girls would pay him just to look at his face". I ignored him, until he told me he wasn't mad at me for going on match, and said he's coming to talk to me at my workplace today. I told him if he showed up here, I'd call the police. Now I feel like he's stalking me and I'm really upset by it.

Oh! that is really scary. Do you have a receptionist or any sort of "barrier" at work? I'd be sure to let that person know that they should ask him to leave immediately and if he doesn't call the police. I'm sorry you are dealing with this! But you are handling it very well.

[naeljun]

Sept 24, 2012 13:29:40 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Sept 24, 2012 13:17:20 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

My vent is that he texted me last night after finding my profile on match saying I'm "a loser to be on there" and he is "so hot that girls would pay him just to look at his face". I ignored him, until he told me he wasn't mad at me for going on match, and said he's coming to talk to me at my workplace today. I told him if he showed up here, I'd call the police. Now I feel like he's stalking me and I'm really upset by it.

Oh! that is really scary. Do you have a receptionist or any sort of "barrier" at work? I'd be sure to let that person know that they should ask him to leave immediately and if he doesn't call the police. I'm sorry you are dealing with this! But you are handling it very well.

I agree and if he does show up, you need to follow through on calling.

[lookingup]

I have a STBXH vent, which is also a mom vent.

Yesterday morning I woke up to a text from my mom saying, "Hi baby! Someone just called and wants to know if you will please drop that order of protection. "To err is human, to forgive is divine." Love you. Please text or call me back."

I don't know who the "someone" is, since it could be H or it could have been his mom. Either way, that text message was in direct violation of the order of protection, and it pisses me off that it came from my mom. I already know how my parents feel about it; they made that very clear in February when this all went down. I only texted back, "Do not talk to me about this." And this isn't the first time my mom has asked about it after a conversation with N or his mom. I am so tempted to have his ass put in jail. Mother fucker.

[Deleted]

I do have a receptionist, and she is aware of my xh being crazy. I just want to live my life without having to worry that he's lurking around watching me. I mean, wtf am I supposed to do, not go on match for fear of him finding me and tormenting me? I refuse to live like that. Bad enough he walked into the nail salon 2 weeks ago when me and my mom were manicures and now I won't go back there. I really think he's manic (bipolar). He's like Jekyll and Hyde. I can't wait for the divorce to be finalized.

[lookingup]

Sept 24, 2012 13:46:35 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Sept 24, 2012 13:43:51 GMT -5 lookingup said:

I have a STBXH vent, which is also a mom vent.

Yesterday morning I woke up to a text from my mom saying, "Hi baby! Someone just called and wants to know if you will please drop that order of protection. "To err is human, to forgive is divine." Love you. Please text or call me back."

I don't know who the "someone" is, since it could be H or it could have been his mom. Either way, that text message was in direct violation of the order of protection, and it pisses me off that it came from my mom. I already know how my parents feel about it; they made that very clear in February when this all went down. I only texted back, "Do not talk to me about this." And this isn't the first time my mom has asked about it after a conversation with N or his mom. I am so tempted to have his ass put in jail. Mother fucker.

Put his ass in jail. He tried to kill you and your mother is a fuck. I hope she chokes on something.

Thank you for this. I'm pretty sure he's still overseas, but I'm positive that my parents are still keeping in touch with him. They're all assholes; I hope they have happy lives together.

[Deleted]

Sept 24, 2012 13:47:05 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

I do have a receptionist, and she is aware of my xh being crazy. I just want to live my life without having to worry that he's lurking around watching me. I mean, wtf am I supposed to do, not go on match for fear of him finding me and tormenting me? I refuse to live like that. Bad enough he walked into the nail salon 2 weeks ago when me and my mom were manicures and now I won't go back there. I really think he's manic (bipolar). He's like Jekyll and Hyde. I can't wait for the divorce to be finalized.

OMG! Make sure you are documenting all of this. Sadly it's probably nothing illegal yet, but make sure your lawyer knows as well. I'm so sorry!

[turtle1120]

Sept 24, 2012 13:47:05 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

I do have a receptionist, and she is aware of my xh being crazy. I just want to live my life without having to worry that he's lurking around watching me. I mean, wtf am I supposed to do, not go on match for fear of him finding me and tormenting me? I refuse to live like that. Bad enough he walked into the nail salon 2 weeks ago when me and my mom were manicures and now I won't go back there. I really think he's manic (bipolar). He's like Jekyll and Hyde. I can't wait for the divorce to be finalized.

I'm glad you have a receptionist. I'd instruct her to call the police immediately if he shows up. Has he come to your work before? I'm sorry he's making you fearful. That sucks.

[lookingup]

Sept 24, 2012 13:47:05 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

I do have a receptionist, and she is aware of my xh being crazy. I just want to live my life without having to worry that he's lurking around watching me. I mean, wtf am I supposed to do, not go on match for fear of him finding me and tormenting me? I refuse to live like that. Bad enough he walked into the nail salon 2 weeks ago when me and my mom were manicures and now I won't go back there. I really think he's manic (bipolar). He's like Jekyll and Hyde. I can't wait for the divorce to be finalized.

I'm so sorry, blueyes. I hate to say that I know how you feel.

[sweetchix]

So CS payments can't be directly deposited?

[sweetchix]

Ugh, so many psycho X/STBX's! Do you have orders of protection against them? If not, can you based on what they've said/done?

[doriswe]

Sept 24, 2012 13:55:37 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

So CS payments can't be directly deposited?

They can be

[chrissie3416]

sweetchix--I believe that depends on the state and what they offer. I know here in NY you can get like a debit card as an option. I also know people who have their CS deposited right into an account only for that so both parents can track what the $ is spent on.

[lookingup]

Sept 24, 2012 14:00:58 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Ugh, so many psycho X/STBX's! Do you have orders of protection against them? If not, can you based on what they've said/done?

The only reason I called to make a police report (back in February) in the first place was that I wanted an order of protection. Unfortunately for my H, when I told the police what happened, they had to press charges on behalf of the county. Now the fact that his career is likely down the shitter is my fault; oh but it would help his case if I would drop the order of protection! ::insert hugest eye roll here::

[sweetchix]

Sept 24, 2012 14:04:44 GMT -5 chrissie3416 said:

sweetchix--I believe that depends on the state and what they offer. I know here in NY you can get like a debit card as an option. I also know people who have their CS deposited right into an account only for that so both parents can track what the $ is spent on.

Ah. It seems like it would be the easiest way to be sure the money gets to the person it needs to go to. Except, of course, if the person owing the money isn't working.

[naeljun]

I wish I could have my support direct deposited. It would make life so much easier.

[blackkitty]

Sept 24, 2012 12:22:31 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

BK – How long ago did you move? If it’s been a substantial amount of time I say that’s “proof” enough, since your XH clearly hasn’t objected to the move.

One year

[blackkitty]

Sept 24, 2012 12:22:38 GMT -5 bowies said:

4 YEARS?

How the hell is he surviving?

He married a rich woman

[Deleted]

Sept 24, 2012 14:00:58 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Ugh, so many psycho X/STBX's! Do you have orders of protection against them? If not, can you based on what they've said/done?

Right now what he's doing is really not illegal, I guess. So no, can't get an order of protection. Here in NY domestic situations (which I did have in the past) have to be documented by police report and then they make an arrest. I never wanted him to be arrested because he would lose his job and therefore sue me for money (alimony?) for up to a year during divorce filings. ( I was the one making more money). It's a fucked up system-- not sure how it works in other states. But as long as he's not threatening me, I'll do my best to ignore.

[melby]

XH didn't pay alimony I had to take him to court to get it direct deposited from his paycheck because he wasn't paying. I'm in school full time and started working part time so he got my alimony reduced to half. He found out where I worked by driving around and finding my car. Now, he's contacting our mutual friend (my boss) about when I started work. Friend has told him its none of his business. I was completely honest at court about where I worked, how often I work and how much I make. I'm sick of it. I know he's trying to do something to get me back for what I was awarded in court (50% of all marital assets, no more). It make me nervous any time I think about it.

He also owes me $40,000. There is a lean on his house because its up for sale, but it is FSBO and listed at $30,000 over last years appraisal value. Thankfully, he is paying interest on the money he owes me, but I'd love to get out of debt! He says he doesn't have the money, but I know he has bought two brand new cars in the past year. Guess I'll be calling the lawyer to see when we can start having that taken out of his paycheck too. :-|

[blondnearby]

I had court today for CS because XH requested it. He called last night asking what documents he needed to bring and if I would pick him up and take him. I agreed. As soon as we for there he started bitching at me that this is all my fault. He also told me that he while he gets $411 a week from unemployment, that he can't possibly pay me any money towards the $45,000 he owes me in arrears. The CS attorney begged him to make a payment, even $0.50. He refused and threw a fit because the CS wasn't lowered to his amount. He said in open court that he never had any intent to pay me a dime of CS and they told him that if that was the case, he would surely see jail time by the end of the year.

Only kind of awesome thing? He was bitching at me so much that when we walked to my car, I told him I wasn't putting up with his abusive behavior and to find his own ride home. I left him at the courthouse.

[jojoandleo]

Sept 24, 2012 21:19:23 GMT -5 blondnearby said:

I had court today for CS because XH requested it. He called last night asking what documents he needed to bring and if I would pick him up and take him. I agreed. As soon as we for there he started bitching at me that this is all my fault. He also told me that he while he gets $411 a week from unemployment, that he can't possibly pay me any money towards the $45,000 he owes me in arrears. The CS attorney begged him to make a payment, even $0.50. He refused and threw a fit because the CS wasn't lowered to his amount. He said in open court that he never had any intent to pay me a dime of CS and they told him that if that was the case, he would surely see jail time by the end of the year.

Only kind of awesome thing? He was bitching at me so much that when we walked to my car, I told him I wasn't putting up with his abusive behavior and to find his own ride home. I left him at the courthouse.

Why did you take him in the first place?

[stephbfan]

Sept 24, 2012 21:19:23 GMT -5 blondnearby said:

I had court today for CS because XH requested it. He called last night asking what documents he needed to bring and if I would pick him up and take him. I agreed. As soon as we for there he started bitching at me that this is all my fault. He also told me that he while he gets $411 a week from unemployment, that he can't possibly pay me any money towards the $45,000 he owes me in arrears. The CS attorney begged him to make a payment, even $0.50. He refused and threw a fit because the CS wasn't lowered to his amount. He said in open court that he never had any intent to pay me a dime of CS and they told him that if that was the case, he would surely see jail time by the end of the year.

Only kind of awesome thing? He was bitching at me so much that when we walked to my car, I told him I wasn't putting up with his abusive behavior and to find his own ride home. I left him at the courthouse.

You are way too nice to him after all the shit he has done!!