cleo29, I get it. also heaviest I've been in years. I've been paying for WW for MONTHS and not tracking! For me, it's just like everything else seems so busy and stressful that it's hard to try to work on one more thing. I know I would be healthier overall if I dropped a few pounds. Good luck!
Those of you who say “I know what I need to do”, what is that? I’m going to bet it’s some kind of diet you can’t sustain long term and that won’t work long term. It’s really, really hard to come to terms with, but diets just don’t work. I will try to find links to studies, but in general, the weight almost always comes back and then some and then you’re at a higher weight than when you started the diet. And it goes on. So we tell ourselves it’s our fault, but it’s not.
Restrictive diets don't work - that is correct, and the weight will most likely return if you've restricted yourself and go back to normal.
For me, I've figured out that a caloric deficit works for me - I still eat all of my favorite things and am not restricting anything. It can be done and I've maintained for almost 2 years. I still have 20 more pounds I'd like to lose, but for now, I'm happy where I am.The bottom line is that losing weight is about nutrition! Exercise can help but it's not as helpful as we've been led to believe. It's also always slower than we want! Patience is for sure the hardest part for me.
I've fluctuated weights for most of my life, and when I was heavier, I definitely found that leggings and dresses were my favorite go to outfit. I didn't have to try to piece things together and it was comfortable (but can still be professional). So definitely buy the pants/skirts/tops that will make you feel good! If you end up going down the path of losing weight, you'll have the other clothes waiting for you. But our bodies are meant to change - particularly as we are still coming out of this pandemic.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Oct 25, 2021 8:26:02 GMT -5
Take care of yourself - and that includes speaking nicely about yourself, and dressing the body that you have.
I get it. I have spent almost my whole life playing the, “How much do I weigh today?” game. But I never seem to win 😂
I just try to make sure I’m always on my side and acting as my own best friend, no matter what. And I’d never sit around and tell my best friend she’s failing or less-than because of her weight.
Post by wanderingback on Oct 25, 2021 8:46:35 GMT -5
I don’t have time to link articles but everyone, both men and women loss muscle mass as they age, hence in general weight gain. Look at the body of a 20 year old vs a 70 year old, do you think those changes happen overnight, no. There are other things that physiologically happen over time that are not in our control.
If one feels like they need to walk more or meditate more or drink less alcohol because doing those things will make them mentally or physically feel better than that’s a good idea, but when those things are tied to weight loss you set yourself up for failure because running for 30 minutes per day doesn’t equal losing 20 pounds for many people.
During the height of the pandemic I didn’t drink for several months since I was working in person with covid patients and alcohol just made me feel worse. Since then I cut back to maybe 1 glass of wine per week when eating out. Before the pandemic I could drink 2 bottles of wine a week myself at home and then drink when I went out to dinner. Spoiler alert- I haven’t lost any weight. Well I don’t really weigh myself but it’s not like my clothes are falling off of me now or anything. But overall I feel great about my body and I know drinking so much alcohol on a weekly basis wasn’t good for my health in general (sleep especially). If I tied cutting back on alcohol to weight loss then I’d think of it as a failure, but it 100% isn’t!
So much of what others said. I’ve started following a lot of plus size Insta people and health at every size, anti-diet accounts. My weight does not define my worth. I have a lot of other great qualities that make me worthy of love and friendship.
Those of you who say “I know what I need to do”, what is that? I’m going to bet it’s some kind of diet you can’t sustain long term and that won’t work long term. It’s really, really hard to come to terms with, but diets just don’t work. I will try to find links to studies, but in general, the weight almost always comes back and then some and then you’re at a higher weight than when you started the diet. And it goes on. So we tell ourselves it’s our fault, but it’s not.
The bottom line is that losing weight is about nutrition!
This is not true for everyone and isn't fair to say for those who have other reasons they can't lose weight and blame themselves.
I recommend anyone who still thinks body size is directly tied with nutrition or health to please read any or all of these books:
The Body Is Not An Apology - Sonya Renee Taylor What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat - Aubrey Gordon Hunger - Roxane Gay (this one is more memoir, less scientific info but it’s really good).
Or listen to the Maintenance Phase or Food Psych podcasts or follow anyone who adheres to HAES.
If you’re interested in transitioning to a no diet lifestyle, look into Intuitive Eating (latest edition - 4th I believe - and be careful of programs like Noom or WW claiming “intuitive eating” - they are lying) or The Fuck It Diet (Caroline Dooner). thefuckitdiet.com/
There’s plenty more on the subject, but these are great starting points. Also, don’t beat yourself up or feel guilty for having the feelings you do about your body. This shit has been hardwired into us our entire lives. It’s very hard to change what you’ve always “known” to be “true”.
Coming in for both solidarity and to tell you to buy clothes that fit. You deserve to be comfortable and feel good about yourself in whatever you wear.
The past year and a half has been exceptionally stressful and you're not alone in gaining weight. I'm also back up to my peak weight. My mindset has changed since I've adopted a body neutral stance and stopped tying my worth to my weight. It is what it is. My weight generally rises when my mental health isn't so great. Yeah, I'd feel better if I moved more and ate a little better. For now, I'm really fucking tired and choosing sleep over a 4:45 alarm to go to the gym. I've also bought a few items that fit properly and removed the smaller sizes from my closet. I'll pull them back out of storage if/when I lose weight.
The mindset shift isn't easy, but worth it. My kids and H wear sizes that fit and don't beat themselves up for outgrowing stuff. I deserve the same. So do you. <3
Those of you who say “I know what I need to do”, what is that? I’m going to bet it’s some kind of diet you can’t sustain long term and that won’t work long term. It’s really, really hard to come to terms with, but diets just don’t work. I will try to find links to studies, but in general, the weight almost always comes back and then some and then you’re at a higher weight than when you started the diet. And it goes on. So we tell ourselves it’s our fault, but it’s not.
Restrictive diets don't work - that is correct, and the weight will most likely return if you've restricted yourself and go back to normal.
For me, I've figured out that a caloric deficit works for me - I still eat all of my favorite things and am not restricting anything. It can be done and I've maintained for almost 2 years. I still have 20 more pounds I'd like to lose, but for now, I'm happy where I am.The bottom line is that losing weight is about nutrition! Exercise can help but it's not as helpful as we've been led to believe. It's also always slower than we want! Patience is for sure the hardest part for me.
I've fluctuated weights for most of my life, and when I was heavier, I definitely found that leggings and dresses were my favorite go to outfit. I didn't have to try to piece things together and it was comfortable (but can still be professional). So definitely buy the pants/skirts/tops that will make you feel good! If you end up going down the path of losing weight, you'll have the other clothes waiting for you. But our bodies are meant to change - particularly as we are still coming out of this pandemic.
I’m sorry but this isn’t helpful in this thread. No one asked for dieting advice. Read the room. And yes a calorie deficit is restricting for many people and not sustainable so yikes.
I don’t have time to link articles but everyone, both men and women loss muscle mass as they age, hence in general weight gain. Look at the body of a 20 year old vs a 70 year old, do you think those changes happen overnight, no. There are other things that physiologically happen over time that are not in our control.
If one feels like they need to walk more or meditate more or drink less alcohol because doing those things will make them mentally or physically feel better than that’s a good idea, but when those things are tied to weight loss you set yourself up for failure because running for 30 minutes per day doesn’t equal losing 20 pounds for many people.
During the height of the pandemic I didn’t drink for several months since I was working in person with covid patients and alcohol just made me feel worse. Since then I cut back to maybe 1 glass of wine per week when eating out. Before the pandemic I could drink 2 bottles of wine a week myself at home and then drink when I went out to dinner. Spoiler alert- I haven’t lost any weight. Well I don’t really weigh myself but it’s not like my clothes are falling off of me now or anything. But overall I feel great about my body and I know drinking so much alcohol on a weekly basis wasn’t good for my health in general (sleep especially). If I tied cutting back on alcohol to weight loss then I’d think of it as a failure, but it 100% isn’t!
I agree with you. I am saying, for me, when I drink a lot, I feel kinda crappy. It's not about weight; it's about the way weight sits on my body when I'm drinking and not exercising. I feel better and feel better about myself when I'm eating healthier and drinking less...and I don't do it and I don't know why. It's really not about weight to me.
OP: I feel you. I have full wardrobes in 3 sizes and I switch between them every couple of months.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Post by Patsy Baloney on Oct 25, 2021 9:26:55 GMT -5
Another thing to think about - I think this half-in, half-out of a pandemic is even harder than 100% one way or the other when you look at your personal life. Obligations are ticking back up, but you're still not totally into your old routine. It takes so much focus away from general wellness when you're trying to figure out how to live again.
I'm at my highest weight as well and really struggling. It's hard and sucks. I definitely have been buying shirts at the thrift store. I bought pants a few months ago as well. I deserve to feel comfortable in my clothes and you do too. (hugs)
I don’t have time to link articles but everyone, both men and women loss muscle mass as they age, hence in general weight gain. Look at the body of a 20 year old vs a 70 year old, do you think those changes happen overnight, no. There are other things that physiologically happen over time that are not in our control.
If one feels like they need to walk more or meditate more or drink less alcohol because doing those things will make them mentally or physically feel better than that’s a good idea, but when those things are tied to weight loss you set yourself up for failure because running for 30 minutes per day doesn’t equal losing 20 pounds for many people.
During the height of the pandemic I didn’t drink for several months since I was working in person with covid patients and alcohol just made me feel worse. Since then I cut back to maybe 1 glass of wine per week when eating out. Before the pandemic I could drink 2 bottles of wine a week myself at home and then drink when I went out to dinner. Spoiler alert- I haven’t lost any weight. Well I don’t really weigh myself but it’s not like my clothes are falling off of me now or anything. But overall I feel great about my body and I know drinking so much alcohol on a weekly basis wasn’t good for my health in general (sleep especially). If I tied cutting back on alcohol to weight loss then I’d think of it as a failure, but it 100% isn’t!
I agree with you. I am saying, for me, when I drink a lot, I feel kinda crappy. It's not about weight; it's about the way weight sits on my body when I'm drinking and not exercising. I feel better and feel better about myself when I'm eating healthier and drinking less...and I don't do it and I don't know why. It's really not about weight to me.
OP: I feel you. I have full wardrobes in 3 sizes and I switch between them every couple of months.
To be honest I didn’t read your post so I def wasn’t responding to anything you said. Just wanted to make that clear. I def have no problem quoting someone if I was directly referring to them
Post by foundmylazybum on Oct 25, 2021 10:40:46 GMT -5
I feel like it's understandable that you want to wear the nice pants and clothes you already bought...
Body size is temporary and mutable. In a way your wardrobe must also be mutable as well to flex with the ways our body moves and changes.
I'm struggling with some of the advice to purchase cheaper or "temporary" type clothes for this body you inhabit right now..it isn't implicitly said but implied to not make an equal investment in this size as another. I think buying second hand is great for the environment and I know a lot of people do it as their REGULAR habit or purchasing clothes from Costco, kohl's old navy etc is fine if that is the way a person would invest in themselves at another size..but why do it at this size?
If you are xyz size and you like Anne Taylor style and the experience of shopping there, the clothes, textures etc...then at ABC size invest there also. Your body was temporary at XYZ and it is temporary at ABC. Both happen, and can fade and change
Treat your body with respect at both phases and realize both are temporary.
I feel like it's understandable that you want to wear the nice pants and clothes you already bought...
Body size is temporary and mutable. In a way your wardrobe must also be mutable as well to flex with the ways our body moves and changes.
I'm struggling with some of the advice to purchase cheaper or "temporary" type clothes for this body you inhabit right now..it isn't implicitly said but implied to not make an equal investment in this size as another. I think buying second hand is great for the environment and I know a lot of people do it as their REGULAR habit or purchasing clothes from Costco, kohl's old navy etc is fine if that is the way a person would invest in themselves at another size..but why do it at this size?
If you are xyz size and you like Anne Taylor style and the experience of shopping there, the clothes, textures etc...then at ABC size invest there also. Your body was temporary at XYZ and it is temporary at ABC. Both happen, and can fade and change
Treat your body with respect at both phases and realize both are temporary.
Agree so hard!
If you feel “dumpy” in cheap clothes from Costco, you’ll feel dumpy in them no matter what size you are. The clothes you are drawn to and enjoy wearing should be your target. Not temporary garbage clothes (not that I’m saying Costco clothes are garbage - just that if that’s not what makes you feel confident at a lower size, why would it make you feel confident at any wise?)
Buy what makes you feel confident, used or from Costco or from Nordstrom or from a seamstress. You can always sell it/swap it later if your size/tastes/trends change.
I highly recommend the podcast Maintenance Phase for anyone interested in deprograming yourself from diet culture. it is a funny and clever with a whole bunch of helpful information.
The 2 part series on Rachel Hollis especially was amazing. The podcast did a deep dive into toxic positivity and instagram culture and the influence on how we think our bodies are suppose to look.
Also even though I have been on a "no diets" journey for a couple years I still struggle quite a bit with it. For example my two best friends are counting macros right now. They are experiencing success, but also having to restrict quite a bit. It both makes me feel crappy about myself that I can't or don't want to be that disciplined. And also grateful that I continue to work so hard to be happy in my skin. So even though I am adamant about not dieting, I still feel shitty sometimes for.... not dieting lol.
I just decided it wasn't worth giving up happiness to devote so much mental space to trying to be smaller. I am very lucky to have a healthy body. I continue to work hard at not equating my pants size with how I feel about myself. It is a journey and I probably will always struggle with it.
For anyone looking for a “treat yourself” splurge for a changing body, I have really enjoyed the Lululemon Back in Action long sleeve t-shirt. They carry up to a size 20 online. It’s fitted in the shoulders but looser around the waist and bottom area, so I think I could gain weight or lose weight and it would still fit pretty well. Can easily be dressed up or down - I’ve worn it out with a scarf and I’ve worn it to work out. Back of the shirt covers my butt so it’s great for leggings as well. Unfortunately it’s $58 so it’s def a splurge.
Post by amberlyrose on Oct 25, 2021 12:00:10 GMT -5
Ditto eddy- while I have been on the no diet journey for about two years, it has not been linear. Unfortunately, diet culture is so embedded in our lives, especially as women, that it's hard not to look at someone losing weight and feel like I'm failing. But my goal is happiness now. My new fitness goals are about doing things I want to do- I want to ski without being sore or tired after two runs. I want to camp and hike and do things with my friends that I love.
But wear clothes that fit and make you feel good. Clothes are made to fit a person for short period of time. People were not made to fit into clothes.
For anyone looking for a “treat yourself” splurge for a changing body, I have really enjoyed the Lululemon Back in Action long sleeve t-shirt. They carry up to a size 20 online. It’s fitted in the shoulders but looser around the waist and bottom area, so I think I could gain weight or lose weight and it would still fit pretty well. Can easily be dressed up or down - I’ve worn it out with a scarf and I’ve worn it to work out. Back of the shirt covers my butt so it’s great for leggings as well. Unfortunately it’s $58 so it’s def a splurge.
A shirt called “back in action” that’s particularly loose around the midsection is just such a funny sign of the times to me. Like… yes. We all did stop working out. And we’re bigger now. You nailed it, Lululemon! Making the clothes our current society needs! 😂
To be fair, Lululemon doesn't have a great history in regards to body positivity or inclusivity lol (among other things).
A shirt called “back in action” that’s particularly loose around the midsection is just such a funny sign of the times to me. Like… yes. We all did stop working out. And we’re bigger now. You nailed it, Lululemon! Making the clothes our current society needs! 😂
To be fair, Lululemon doesn't have a great history in regards to body positivity or inclusivity lol (among other things).
LOL, I know! I definitely paused before recommending them in this thread. I have personally reached out to them about their lack of size inclusivity in the past and they were open to having a discussion with me (unlike many other popular brands who ignored my contact).
I have a short frame with a rounder stomach and hips, and it's hard to find shirts to fit me. If they fit up top then they're too tight in the stomach and hips. These shirts are great - maybe Costco will make a copycat soon, haha.
Post by bluestreet on Oct 25, 2021 13:27:09 GMT -5
Echoing the awesomeness of the podcast Maintenance Phase. I’ve listened to almost all of them (~20) in under a month. It’s done more for my body acceptance than any therapy or books ever half.
Plus, the hosts are HILARIOUS.
That said, for those that are struggling with feelings around having gained weight, I’m with you. And yes to investing in clothes at whatever size you are!
Post by sproctopus on Oct 25, 2021 14:06:11 GMT -5
I don't mean this to be snarky or offensive, but the posts in here about nutrition and success with diets are literally just continuing the obsession with diet culture and conversation point that something must be wrong with you if you aren't straight-size or that you just haven't found the right thing that works for you to get you thinner.
I just think it's a lot better to discuss health and weight separately. The number on the scale is not always indicative of health problems OR success.
This isn't directed specifically at anyone, but more to point out that we need to change the conversation by first examining our own fatphobias and internalized dialogues that we've been accustomed to reciting.
Like if your best friend said she was feeling dumpy, would you really tell her that it's all about nutrition and all about your successes and push her to see a doctor? I hope not :/
I don't mean this to be snarky or offensive, but the posts in here about nutrition and success with diets are literally just continuing the obsession with diet culture and conversation point that something must be wrong with you if you aren't straight-size or that you just haven't found the right thing that works for you to get you thinner.
I just think it's a lot better to discuss health and weight separately. The number on the scale is not always indicative of health problems OR success.
This isn't directed specifically at anyone, but more to point out that we need to change the conversation by first examining our own fatphobias and internalized dialogues that we've been accustomed to reciting.
Like if your best friend said she was feeling dumpy, would you really tell her that it's all about nutrition and all about your successes and push her to see a doctor? I hope not :/
Yes, I have and would advise any friend or family member that was feeling lousy to see a dr to make sure there are no hidden health factors. Vitamin deficiency, risk ranges in bloodwork as I advised above. I'm only trying to help.
I understand you're feeling defensive about my response, but I hope that's a sign that it's challenging your initial reactions to these kind of posts.
Perhaps I missed where she said she was feeling lousy? I think the conversation about doctors is valid when someone says they have actual symptoms that indicate there are major issues. It wouldn't be my jump-off.