@ Randoms week of 11/1

[redheadbaker]

My cousin is applying to colleges (and has already been accepted to one).   How is she old enough to apply to colleges?? 

[pugz]

My oldest niece is a freshman in college this year. Does not compute!!

[macmars45]

Nov 2, 2021 9:02:38 GMT -5 pugz said:

My oldest niece is a freshman in college this year. Does not compute!!

My nibling is also a freshman this year. It's so crazy! It also makes me sad that we haven't see them & our niece in 2 years because of covid. (They are a plane ride away.) Hopefully we can see them this coming late winter/early spring when DS(5) is vaxxed and any winter surges are over. *crosses all fingers*

[silva]

It's time for braces for DD. Thankful that the timing worked so DH can increase our health flex spending. Mine reset Oct 1st.

[mbcdefg]

I’m on a FB for local parents and someone asked for feedback on the daycare my DD is attending. One person said she really likes it for her kids; a couple said to PM them to talk; two others left absolutely abysmal reviews.

I’ve never felt that my DD is in danger there but I definitely think it could be more organized. So I really can’t tell if the reviews legitimately have a point about the quality of the place, or if the posters are just Karening because it isn’t perfect. DD is there for about six more months before we pull her for the summer, and she enters kindergarten next fall.

Again, I don’t feel she’s at risk being there otherwise I’d obviously pull her out, but the bad reviews have left me with a pit in my stomach.

[Velar Fricative]

mbcdefg, that happened with both daycares we've used in the past. Honestly, no daycare is going to be loved by everyone and while I did change from the first daycare due to a decline in quality among other issues, the negative comments were posted during a time when they were really great. I only care about my own experiences and my kids' experiences and if they're happy, clean, safe and fed and the staff are great, I don't focus on other people's experiences or comments.

[silva]

Nov 2, 2021 11:19:27 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I’m on a FB for local parents and someone asked for feedback on the daycare my DD is attending. One person said she really likes it for her kids; a couple said to PM them to talk; two others left absolutely abysmal reviews.

I’ve never felt that my DD is in danger there but I definitely think it could be more organized. So I really can’t tell if the reviews legitimately have a point about the quality of the place, or if the posters are just Karening because it isn’t perfect. DD is there for about six more months before we pull her for the summer, and she enters kindergarten next fall.

Again, I don’t feel she’s at risk being there otherwise I’d obviously pull her out, but the bad reviews have left me with a pit in my stomach.

If they are licensed, they should have listed violations through their Quality Rating Improvement Systems (QRIS). You can find your state one here: www.childcareaware.org/resources/map/ 

[noodleoo]

mbcdefg, I've heard mixed reviews for my daycare too. I've been mixed on my own feelings with our daycare, LOL. But overall, they take good care of my kids and my kids love it there. I trust that they are safe and it is convenient and in our price range, so that's all that matters to me. Especially if you are only there another 6 months, I'd just try to forget you saw it.

[taratru]

My senior daughter says she's planning on a gap year. Uh....yeah....moving back to Colorado to live with your friends and just work to pay bills isn't a gap year, child.

Maybe make a better plan.

[rootbeerfloat]

My oldest niece is also a college freshman and went all the way to Scotland.

On the other end of the spectrum, my other niece turned 1 last month. She's adorable, but I'm sure happy the toddler parenting years are behind me (though parenting t(w)eens is mentally exhausting too).

[bears]

Nov 2, 2021 11:25:31 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

mbcdefg, that happened with both daycares we've used in the past. Honestly, no daycare is going to be loved by everyone and while I did change from the first daycare due to a decline in quality among other issues, the negative comments were posted during a time when they were really great. I only care about my own experiences and my kids' experiences and if they're happy, clean, safe and fed and the staff are great, I don't focus on other people's experiences or comments.

We once were at a child's birthday party with a family that had previous had used our daycare. The reasons the mom had for not liking the center were literally around the staff's physical appearance. It was so gross.

I looked at the state's inspection reports and people I know who used the center, not random Google reviews. People's expectations for daycares are often disjointed from reality.

[raangoli]

mbcdefg, I always try to remember that people only write reviews when they really feel strongly either way. As long as you feel that C is well cared for, thriving, safe, and it fits your needs, I wouldn't worry about it. I know that is easier said than done <3

[twinmomma]

Nov 2, 2021 13:07:05 GMT -5 bears said:

Nov 2, 2021 11:25:31 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

mbcdefg , that happened with both daycares we've used in the past. Honestly, no daycare is going to be loved by everyone and while I did change from the first daycare due to a decline in quality among other issues, the negative comments were posted during a time when they were really great. I only care about my own experiences and my kids' experiences and if they're happy, clean, safe and fed and the staff are great, I don't focus on other people's experiences or comments.

We once were at a child's birthday party with a family that had previous had used our daycare. The reasons the mom had for not liking the center were literally around the staff's physical appearance. It was so gross.

I looked at the state's inspection reports and people I know who used the center, not random Google reviews. People's expectations for daycares are often disjointed from reality.

We know someone who gives bad reviews for multiple daycares around our area. She tries to blame it on the staff and the center and all kinds of other reasons that sound like the place provides bad services and care. Those of us who know her in real life know it was actually that her kid was kicked out of all of them for behavior problems. So take those posts and messages with a grain of salt. 

[StrawberryBlondie]

mbcdefg Someone reviewed our old daycare negatively after they were mad they got a huge late pickup fee and a talking to during a blizzard... We got notified by email, text, app, and a phone call that daycare was closing at like 1 pm (I forget the exact time but it was lunch-ish). Apparently at 5:30 one of the parents called to say they're on their way but weren't sure with the roads they'd make it there by the 6:00 close.

I learned later that something like 12 calls from daycare asking where TF they were went ignored.

[Poeticxpassion]

redheadbaker, pugz, my niece is also a freshmen in college. She went to the University of Hawaii, so she is far from home in Colorado. She was the flower girl in our wedding at 3 years old. It is crazy how much time has passed!

[taratru]

Nov 2, 2021 13:17:17 GMT -5 @hiphopanonymous said:

Nov 2, 2021 12:47:10 GMT -5 taratru said:

My senior daughter says she's planning on a gap year. Uh....yeah....moving back to Colorado to live with your friends and just work to pay bills isn't a gap year, child.

Maybe make a better plan.

It's not? What do you consider a gap year?

Something with purpose? With a clearly defined goal or end in mind? Not "I have no job lined up, couldn't get one when I did live in that town, maybe I'll live with a friend or my sister, no savings, would be working simply to pay whatever bills I have, with no plan to further my education or career plans, and really I just want to move back to smoke weed with my friends all the time."

For many students a gap year is a great idea, especially with the right supports and again, a purpose. For my kid, and her motivation for it, I don't think it's a great choice.

That said, it's her life. She can choose what she wants.

[pixy0stix]

Daycare said they called today to pick up DS early for reasons (of which I'm still unclear, but maybe behavior?) We never received a phone call. Ever since he's moved to this class they've been having issues with him. I'm going to have to set up a teacher meeting.

[raangoli]

It's been so fun to see BB understand and be excited about celebrating the different days of Diwali.

This morning she asked "What day is it?

Me: It's Wednesday?

BB: No, what day of Diwali!!

Me: OHHHH HAHAHAHA....

Edit: We've decorated indoors and outdoors with marigold garlands, a Diwali lawn sign, and lots of diyas and lanterns. Our house looks so festive between those, the Halloween decorations (which are now taken down) and then Thanksgiving. And there is lots of good eating happening  

[VillainV]

Nov 2, 2021 21:15:35 GMT -5 taratru said:

Nov 2, 2021 13:17:17 GMT -5 @hiphopanonymous said:

It's not? What do you consider a gap year?

Something with purpose? With a clearly defined goal or end in mind? Not "I have no job lined up, couldn't get one when I did live in that town, maybe I'll live with a friend or my sister, no savings, would be working simply to pay whatever bills I have, with no plan to further my education or career plans, and really I just want to move back to smoke weed with my friends all the time."

For many students a gap year is a great idea, especially with the right supports and again, a purpose. For my kid, and her motivation for it, I don't think it's a great choice.

That said, it's her life. She can choose what she wants.

Hopefully it will give her some perspective on adulting and what she wants to do with her life. When it comes to college, I think a lot of teens (myself included) start without a clear goal in mind and without the maturity to handle the increased work load, and end up spending a lot of money while they spin their wheels figuring out their path.

[taratru]

Nov 3, 2021 6:52:24 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Nov 2, 2021 21:15:35 GMT -5 taratru said:

Something with purpose? With a clearly defined goal or end in mind? Not "I have no job lined up, couldn't get one when I did live in that town, maybe I'll live with a friend or my sister, no savings, would be working simply to pay whatever bills I have, with no plan to further my education or career plans, and really I just want to move back to smoke weed with my friends all the time."

For many students a gap year is a great idea, especially with the right supports and again, a purpose. For my kid, and her motivation for it, I don't think it's a great choice.

That said, it's her life. She can choose what she wants.

Hopefully it will give her some perspective on adulting and what she wants to do with her life. When it comes to college, I think a lot of teens (myself included) start without a clear goal in mind and without the maturity to handle the increased work load, and end up spending a lot of money while they spin their wheels figuring out their path.

Yeah, I know that, like cognitively (?), but my heart tells me if she takes that route, she will stay that route. And then I'm sad at all her wasted potential.  I asked her a couple of weeks ago when she was going to start believing all the things about herself that everyone else believes (about her talents, gifts, abilities) and she said, "Probably never." 

I guess I'm also projecting my disappointment on her. My oldest also didn't really do much in terms of school. It worked out (mostly) and she's on a good track at 24, but man...it's really really hard as two teachers to watch our kids not value education, ya know? 

Sorry for turning the thread into my therapy sesh, everyone. 

[sonrisa]

Nov 3, 2021 11:03:47 GMT -5 taratru said:

Nov 3, 2021 6:52:24 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Hopefully it will give her some perspective on adulting and what she wants to do with her life. When it comes to college, I think a lot of teens (myself included) start without a clear goal in mind and without the maturity to handle the increased work load, and end up spending a lot of money while they spin their wheels figuring out their path.

Yeah, I know that, like cognitively (?), but my heart tells me if she takes that route, she will stay that route. 

There is a difference between a gap year when you defer an actual admission and a "gap year" that is really just the beginning of a non college track. Is she interested in the former?

[taratru]

Nov 3, 2021 11:09:11 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Nov 3, 2021 11:03:47 GMT -5 taratru said:

Yeah, I know that, like cognitively (?), but my heart tells me if she takes that route, she will stay that route. 

There is a difference between a gap year when you defer an actual admission and a "gap year" that is really just the beginning of a non college track. Is she interested in the former?

No. She wasn't even going to do any applications until we said, "hey, you need to do that and then decide." She is SO difficult to talk to about these kinds of things - she just shuts down completely, even in casual conversation.  She is such a challenge in so many ways, the largest of which is how she just disengages at any sign of conflict or unease. It makes me crazy. 

[redheadbaker]

It's hard to complete open enrollment (particulary decide how much money to put into dependent care FSA) when you're not sure if you'll still be at your job by then. 🤞🏻

[hermione]

Nov 2, 2021 21:15:35 GMT -5 taratru said:

Nov 2, 2021 13:17:17 GMT -5 @hiphopanonymous said:

It's not? What do you consider a gap year?

Something with purpose? With a clearly defined goal or end in mind? Not "I have no job lined up, couldn't get one when I did live in that town, maybe I'll live with a friend or my sister, no savings, would be working simply to pay whatever bills I have, with no plan to further my education or career plans, and really I just want to move back to smoke weed with my friends all the time."

For many students a gap year is a great idea, especially with the right supports and again, a purpose. For my kid, and her motivation for it, I don't think it's a great choice.

That said, it's her life. She can choose what she wants.

I've always thought of it as year of experiential learning - sounds like she'll get that, though maybe not in the ways you'd like.

[penguingrrl]

Nov 2, 2021 21:15:35 GMT -5 taratru said:

Nov 2, 2021 13:17:17 GMT -5 @hiphopanonymous said:

It's not? What do you consider a gap year?

Something with purpose? With a clearly defined goal or end in mind? Not "I have no job lined up, couldn't get one when I did live in that town, maybe I'll live with a friend or my sister, no savings, would be working simply to pay whatever bills I have, with no plan to further my education or career plans, and really I just want to move back to smoke weed with my friends all the time."

For many students a gap year is a great idea, especially with the right supports and again, a purpose. For my kid, and her motivation for it, I don't think it's a great choice.

That said, it's her life. She can choose what she wants.

I did a year like that at my mother’s urging. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was a mediocre student in HS and had no idea what I wanted to study. I got into a well respected college for stage management but wasn’t sure. In that year I worked for a dentist, considered nursing, then finally realized I had loved history since I was 6, so why wasn’t I studying that? Everyone told me I would never go back, but working showed me I wanted more.

And my siblings were both late bloomers academically.

My sister is now 42 and in her second year of a surgery residency. My brother is 35 and doing undergrad now for environmental engineering. It took both a bit longer (and both had some rocky years), but was worth the wait and personal growth and both are now thriving, truly happy, and doing the work they always should have.