Can I get some perspective? - Kids reading

[karinothing]

I would love some perspective on kids learning to read.

DS1 learned quickly. He was reading before I even thought to work with him on it and was devouring books in kinder. He is an extremely bright kid and significantly above grade level. I know that we aren't supposed to compare but it just gives me such a skewed perspective and I would love a more grounded view.

DS2 is a much different kid (although also very bright). He is a year younger than DS1 when he entered K (turned 5 in July) and then had a crap year last year with virtual K most of the year, and then hybrid 2 days a week. Last year he read bob books to me and this year he is reading Step 1/2 early readers books  (there is usually one more on the page or so that he struggles with). He can also read books like pete the cat or elephant and piggie.  He doesn't devour books like DS1 but he does seem to try hard. The early reader books are about 30 pages with 3-5 short sentences per page. He will not read an entire book in one sitting, but will read 8 pages or so, before he wants to stop. He does love to write.

He does have a tutor that he works with once a week.

Anyway, I guess I am just wondering what learning to read looks like for most kids. Is there a point where they just get it and everything clicks. Am I worrying too much? Not enough? If I am being overly anxious please tell me lol. I am just really struggling with only DS1 as reference.

DS2 is 6 now

[flygirl]

I would just keep reading to him and with him. Even if it’s only 15 minutes at least he’s seeing words and stories. I would also ask him what he thinks about the characters. Sometimes kids come up with hilarious things about books if you ask them to expand.

[karinothing]

Nov 16, 2021 10:35:50 GMT -5 flygirl said:

I would just keep reading to him and with him. Even if it’s only 15 minutes at least he’s seeing words and stories. I would also ask him what he thinks about the characters. Sometimes kids come up with hilarious things about books if you ask them to expand.

Yes. we read every night. Actually I love the kid but it takes forever to get through a book because he asks me 1.1 million questions about everything lol. It is good but sometimes I just want to finish a book ha ha.

[abs]

Most kids learn to read between 5-7. It’s developmental and there is a wide range of ability in kinder and 1st. I wouldn’t be concerned at all. Also the vast majority of kids are still catching up from learning loss the past two school years.

FWIW DD didn’t read much at all in kinder. She could do Bob books but it was kind of painful. She didn’t really read until 2nd grade and didn’t read for pleasure until 3rd grade. She is in 5th now and doing great. Math was always her stronger subject and still is but she loves to read, too.

ETA: yes there was definitely a point in 2nd grade where it all just clicked. We just read stories out loud and kind of followed her lead. She eventually fell in love with graphic novels and now reads all sorts of things.

[isabel]

He’s doing fine, I promise. There’s a huge range of normal at this age.

A good friend of mine is a reading specialist. Her daughter (about to turn 7 and in first grade) literally just progressed past Bob books and is at a point where she will sometimes read a few pages at a time. According to my friend, this is the low end of normal at this point in first grade. My son is 6 and in first and he is reading fairly complex stories quickly and with good comprehension. This is advanced for this point in first grade.

Sounds like your son is in between them. I would just continue to read with him and have him read to you as you’ve been doing. He’ll get there.

And, for what it’s worth, I kind of wonder how this is going to for us with DS2 with DS1 as our first sample. He’s pretty advanced, so it’s unlikely DS2 will excel on the same timeline. I’m trying to remind myself in advance that all kids progress differently. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.

[karinothing]

Nov 16, 2021 10:44:38 GMT -5 abs said:

Most kids learn to read between 5-7. It’s developmental and there is a wide range of ability in kinder and 1st. I wouldn’t be concerned at all. Also the vast majority of kids are still catching up from learning loss the past two school years.

FWIW DD didn’t read much at all in kinder. She could do Bob books but it was kind of painful. She didn’t really read until 2nd grade and didn’t read for pleasure until 3rd grade. She is in 5th now and doing great. Math was always her stronger subject and still is but she loves to read, too.

Thanks! I think the mess that was last year is really making me paranoid.

He does love math. In fact, he often wakes us up in the morning with a math problem lol. Not my favorite way to start the day lol. But he is starting to read the shampoo bottles or other random stuff around the house, so hopefully that is a good sign.

[VillainV]

Keep reading. The key here is to keep it fun — find books about topics he likes. It’s okay to read to him if a book he likes is above his reading level. If a book is too long, trade off pages (you do a page, he does a page). Maybe try graphic novels like Captain Underpants or Dogman. Consider other ways to expose him to text (like turning on the captions of his favorite shows, or asking him to help with a recipe or read directions to you). Before you know it, his skill level will explode and he’ll be able to read all kinds of stuff.

Having said that….some people read to get through the world and develop their own interests, but never find a deep love for books. My husband is one of those people. He reads all the time — articles about sports or current events, webpages, etc. He’s an elementary teacher and loves teaching kids to read and fostering their reading skills. But in the twelve years I’ve known him I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pick up a book to read for fun. He just doesn’t care for books. And that’s okay.

[twinmomma]

I've noticed something similar with my kids vs. my boyfriend's son who is two years younger. He dealt with kindergarten going remote and then all of first grade being remote, and he had no real desire to read. He had no strong passion about school in general because it was just something he had to do in between playing and doing whatever he wanted while at home. He could do it and had the basic skills, but did not care about it at all. Since being back in person this year in second grade, we've seen his reading take off. He's getting dedicated library time in the school library weekly, they have reading time during class, and it's his "homework" to read each night. I see the "peer pressure" of reading being a fun group activity now really paying off for him. My kids had a lot of buddy reading practice and in person discussions and practice in school when they were in those grades and I think it helped spark their love of reading. My boyfriend's son is just behind on getting that experience.

I'd just keep reading and trying lots of different kinds of books too! For him, we had to uncover the type of book that he'd really like too. For a while it was non fiction animal facts. Now it's Dog Man.

[esdreturns]

There was a point where I honestly thought DS2 would never learn to read. He had to repeat K,and it was honestly just a nightmare. Now, he's one of the top readers in his class and reading at an 8th grade level (he's in 5th grade, age 11).

Some kids just take a little longer, and with K being virtual or hybrid, there is probably some catching up to do. He'll get there, and it sounds more like he does know how to read, he just doesn't really enjoy it? IDK maybe I'm reading that wrong.

[CloudBee]

My DS is like yours. We used Bob books around age 4? By kinder he was blowing through things like Dog Man and more. In 1st he was blowing through Roald Dahl.

I was more like your DS2. And I think that's typical. We seem to be shaped to worry about "late readers" in the US. While most of the developed world doesn't push reading until much later. Your DS2 is right on track, it sounds! And some people never have a love for reading. Even when he's to the point of being able to read chapter books, he may never love it.

[karinothing]

Nov 16, 2021 10:46:39 GMT -5 isabel said:

He’s doing fine, I promise. There’s a huge range of normal at this age.

A good friend of mine is a reading specialist. Her daughter (about to turn 7 and in first grade) literally just progressed past Bob books and is at a point where she will sometimes read a few pages at a time. According to my friend, this is the low end of normal at this point in first grade. My son is 6 and in first and he is reading fairly complex stories quickly and with good comprehension. This is advanced for this point in first grade.

Sounds like your son is in between them. I would just continue to read with him and have him read to you as you’ve been doing. He’ll get there.

And, for what it’s worth, I kind of wonder how this is going to for us with DS2 with DS1 as our first sample. He’s pretty advanced, so it’s unlikely DS2 will excel on the same timeline. I’m trying to remind myself in advance that all kids progress differently. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.

It is hard not to compare. I try to focus on their age (like is DS2 where DS1 was in Kinder because that is where they were at the same age). But even then I know I should not compare it just feels impossible not to and DS1 is like on a high school level in 4th grade so it is not reasonable to compare at all!

I just don't want to get to some point and be like OMG we missed some big issue you know?

[CloudBee]

Nov 16, 2021 10:49:05 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Having said that….some people read to get through the world and develop their own interests, but never find a deep love for books. My husband is one of those people. He reads all the time — articles about sports or current events, webpages, etc. He’s an elementary teacher and loves teaching kids to read and fostering their reading skills. But in the twelve years I’ve known him I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pick up a book to read for fun. He just doesn’t care for books. And that’s okay.

This is me. DH reads in bed for about an hour every every night. Thick, hardcover novels.

Me? I do have a love for war novels (lol), but I mostly dabble. I read the news, articles, and how to books. I would rather pick up an informative book that I can flip through and read the pieces I want to learn about, vs. reading a story. 
 

[sonrisa]

Nov 16, 2021 10:30:04 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Anyway, I guess I am just wondering what learning to read looks like for most kids. Is there a point where they just get it and everything clicks.

DS2 is 6 now

In my experience, yes. Something does click.

It sounds like you are doing lots. A reading tutor at 6 will help him progress.

My eldest took a minute for it all to click. I feel like she was where your kid is when she was an early 6. For her, that was late kindergarten and she wasn't behind by any measure but also wasn't at the front of the pack. She kept reading a little every night - sometimes she read to us, sometimes, we'd read something interesting to her. We never had a tutor because she was doing okay (mostly because she's older for her grade which made it easier). Now she's in 5th grade and according to the report card from Friday, she's reading at an 11th grade level. Her little sister was somewhere similar so we didn't stress about her. She's currently above grade level in 2nd (they don't test specifics at this age but the teacher has taught third before and feels like she's at least there).

Getting a tutor is a good way to support his reading but I definitely wouldn't stress about it. He's 6 and sounds right on track even if he isn't top of his class right now. Reading levels vary *so* much at these young ages but kids seem to make leaps of progress and catch up. And once they get it, they get it

[karinothing]

Nov 16, 2021 10:50:08 GMT -5 esdreturns said:

There was a point where I honestly thought DS2 would never learn to read. He had to repeat K,and it was honestly just a nightmare. Now, he's one of the top readers in his class and reading at an 8th grade level (he's in 5th grade, age 11).

Some kids just take a little longer, and with K being virtual or hybrid, there is probably some catching up to do. He'll get there, and it sounds more like he does know how to read, he just doesn't really enjoy it? IDK maybe I'm reading that wrong.

I find it very hard to get a good read on how he feels about reading. My best guess is he neither hates it or loves it lol. He does willingly read to me each day.

[karinothing]

Nov 16, 2021 10:53:59 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Nov 16, 2021 10:30:04 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Anyway, I guess I am just wondering what learning to read looks like for most kids. Is there a point where they just get it and everything clicks.

DS2 is 6 now

In my experience, yes. Something does click.

It sounds like you are doing lots. A reading tutor at 6 will help him progress.

My eldest took a minute for it all to click and I feel like she was where your kid is when she was an early 6. For her, that was late kindergarten and she wasn't behind by any measure but also wasn't at the front of the pack. She kept reading every night - sometimes she read to us, sometimes, we'd read something a little more interesting and challenging to her. We never had a tutor because she was doing okay (mostly because she's older for her grade which made it easier). Now she's in 5th grade and according to the report card that came home Friday, she's reading at an 11th grade level. Her little sister was somewhere similar so we didn't stress about her. She's currently above grade level in 2nd (they don't test specifics at this age but the teacher has taught third before and feels like she's at least there).

Getting a tutor is a good way to support his reading but I definitely wouldn't stress about it. He's 6 and sounds right on track even if he isn't top of his class right now. Reading levels vary *so* much at these young ages but kids seem to make leaps of progress and catch up. And once they get it, they get it

Thanks! We got a tutor last year because of the way school was and just kept going because the kids seem to enjoy it. I figure if it works and we can afford it we should keep plugging along ha ha.

[isabel]

Nov 16, 2021 10:50:55 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Nov 16, 2021 10:46:39 GMT -5 isabel said:

He’s doing fine, I promise. There’s a huge range of normal at this age.

A good friend of mine is a reading specialist. Her daughter (about to turn 7 and in first grade) literally just progressed past Bob books and is at a point where she will sometimes read a few pages at a time. According to my friend, this is the low end of normal at this point in first grade. My son is 6 and in first and he is reading fairly complex stories quickly and with good comprehension. This is advanced for this point in first grade.

Sounds like your son is in between them. I would just continue to read with him and have him read to you as you’ve been doing. He’ll get there.

And, for what it’s worth, I kind of wonder how this is going to for us with DS2 with DS1 as our first sample. He’s pretty advanced, so it’s unlikely DS2 will excel on the same timeline. I’m trying to remind myself in advance that all kids progress differently. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.

It is hard not to compare. I try to focus on their age (like is DS2 where DS1 was in Kinder because that is where they were at the same age). But even then I know I should not compare it just feels impossible not to and DS1 is like on a high school level in 4th grade so it is not reasonable to compare at all!

I just don't want to get to some point and be like OMG we missed some big issue you know?

I get it. I do. But he’s reading. Maybe he’s not advanced, but it sounds very much like his skills are on grade level. If you have doubts, reach out to his teacher. I’m sure they can tell you what they’re seeing and alleviate your concerns.

[sonrisa]

Nov 16, 2021 10:54:42 GMT -5 karinothing said:

He does willingly read to me each day.

that is fantastic and so important. We definitely had points where that was *not* the case. With the kid who now sneaks books late at night.

[karinothing]

Nov 16, 2021 10:57:40 GMT -5 isabel said:

Nov 16, 2021 10:50:55 GMT -5 karinothing said:

It is hard not to compare. I try to focus on their age (like is DS2 where DS1 was in Kinder because that is where they were at the same age). But even then I know I should not compare it just feels impossible not to and DS1 is like on a high school level in 4th grade so it is not reasonable to compare at all!

I just don't want to get to some point and be like OMG we missed some big issue you know?

I get it. I do. But he’s reading. Maybe he’s not advanced, but it sounds very much like his skills are on grade level. If you have doubts, reach out to his teacher. I’m sure they can tell you what they’re seeing and alleviate your concerns.

I did email her this morning to check in and she replied she would get back to me later today (so of course now my brain is going to worry about that all day lol).

[bittybomb]

I always read to my kids at night when they were little hoping to foster a love for reading.  My eldest, now 13, is a crazy reader - we just learned at end of Q1 that he is reading on the level of a high school junior mid way through the year and is only in 8th grade.  He wasn't reading independently until the middle of 1st grade (also a July birthday).  His younger brother and sister were both reading in Kindergarten - his sister (November baby starting K at age 4) was reading before Thanksgiving of her K year, and their brother was reading by his 6th birthday in K (February baby).  Now they all read before bed, but my eldest has a deep love for reading, my youngest has a healthy love for reading, and my daughter (our earliest reader by far) will read if there's nothing else to do.  I wouldn't worry at all.

[VillainV]

On more thing to add — if you primarily read at bedtime, maybe try having him read aloud to you more earlier in the day, and save bedtime for you reading stories to him. By bedtime some kids are just done.

[thebreakfastclub]

I think he sounds typical. My son will not read unless it is required, although he likes reading Dogman books with my husband. Alone, not so much.

I'm the same way, I would not ever read a novel for fun.

I had him work with a tutor as well, just for peace of mind. Now as a 3rd grader, I can see he is stronger at reading, but certainly not excited about it.

[gretchenindisguise]

DS just turned 7 last week and is 1st grade.

He was a very reluctant reader until about 2 months ago when he discovered Dog Man books. We started reading them together, and then eventually he started reading them by himself. They were silly and easy enough that he just fell in love. Since then we've been able to move onto other books, but he never took to the easy step 1/2 books.

I've also found that he likes books that also have TV shows. After reading all of the Dog Man books a few times, he moved on to Captain Underpants. Those are still a bit above his reading level, but they have a tv show on netflix, a movie, and we found the audiobooks on Spodify. So he can read along with the narration.

I was also worried because DX1 read earlier. But man, the 2nd kid really had a rough time with covid happening right during peak reading onboarding.

[erbear]

That's all normal. Most kids learn to read somewhere between 4 and 7. Every kid is different and you can't force reading on a child without running the risk of making them hate reading or seeing it as a chore.

[gardengal]

My eldest had a harder time learning to read & as a consequence he didn’t like doing it. I was so behind that the books he COULD read weren’t really intellectually interesting to him.

He’s in middle school now & is on grade with reading. It’s still not his favorite. He doesn’t love fiction but will sit down with a car repair manual or a book on the the history of Google which looked really dry to me. He’s found his stride & as he’s been able to read more stimulating texts, he’s voluntarily read more

There’s a wide spectrum of “normal “ with reading & there’s not really an advantage, long term, of being an early reader. They’ll all get there.

[cville]

He's fine. Reading ranges. It's also totally normal to be stressed about this.

I am freaked out about my son who in the 2nd grade can "read" at an 8th grade level. As in, he can read the sentences, pronounce words, and understand the gist immediately after. BUT he has trouble with long term retention, which means as things get more complex he is having trouble with comprehension. The teacher is working on it, and so are we. But, damn. Feels like you can't win for losing.

Parenting is, like, hard man. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[redheadk]

He sounds like he’s doing just fine for a first grader. If you are really unsure, check in with his teacher and ask if she feels like he is on target to meet grade level expectations by the end of the year.

I don’t think he needs a tutor. It sounds like he is meeting grade level expectations.

[sequins]

Baby (mini?) sequins is 6.5 years old now and she has just started reading in the last few weeks. And what is crazy is that she started reading both English and our native tongue equally well at the same time though she gets so much more exposure to English. So, there's definitely something that clicks and then they just start reading! I also bet that zoom school last year wasn't really that great for getting these skills.

[glitzy07]

I have a 3rd grader who is struggling with reading. He was on par with his grade level until March 2020 and now he's behind by a level from the rest of his class. That said, he's worlds ahead of anyone else in his class in math. They had testing this year and he tested higher in math than any other 3rd grader in the school. I was worried that there may be a learning disability at play when he was struggling so much with reading, but because of his math scores his teacher wasn't as concerned about that. She said that he continues to make forward progress with his reading which is what she is looking for.

I truly believe that every child is differently abled and that it kind of all evens out in the end. I have zero background to be saying that, but it's what I tell myself. lol

[dragon's breath]

Definitely keep reading to him, along with him reading. I had teachers who read to use through sixth grade, and I can't think of anyone who didn't enjoy that time (helped that the books were fun and (male) teachers were animated).

I started reading very young, but didn't read many longer books for quite a while. My son started reading before kindergarten, but also kept to shorter books until... I think he was in kindergarten, and I decided to read "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" to him. The "Fudge books" were one of my favorite books growing up, and I thought this one might get him hooked on reading more. It did. I had bought the set, and as soon as I finished the first book, he was wanting to read the next books for himself.

I think personal interest has a lot to do with motivation/joy in reading. As an adult, I still find anything I'm not interested in to be a chore to read, but when I am interested, I can tear through a book.

Developmentally though, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just keep trying new books that may develop more interests, and have fun with it.

[fivechickens]

Unless you are concerned about any learning disabilities, I would just continue on with what you are doing and I am sure he will be fine.

Rant:

I really dislike the 3rd grade reading retention law or WTF it’s called. It gives parents anxiety and unfairly assumes all kids will learn at the same pace as all the other kids.

I have three same aged kids. DD3 LOVES to read and always has. DD1 likes reading enough and DD2 couldn’t care less about reading. They also all read at different levels. DD2 was the best reader but not great at comprehension (she could verbally read well but didn’t retain what she read) so she was often below reading grade level. DD1 was pretty average reader but always at grade level. DD3 was not great at reading but okay at comprehension so she was always below reading grade level. DD3 was the one we were concerned about most.

They are now in 5th grade and all above where they should be. I understand the importance of reading but there should not be a cut off to where a child should be good at reading and penalized if they are not at that point (barring any learning disabilities). Most kids catch up eventually.