We are visiting family and staying with SIL. I think I am getting to the age where I know what I like and would rather be in a hotel then roll the dice on someone's guest room (and have complete privacy and thermostat control). DH and I are used to having 2 baths for 2 people, but this weekend it is 6 people for 2 baths (plus 4 more day-guests).
We are SPOILED by our bathroom countertops back home. We are not used to having just the 3 inch border around the sink available for putting stuff. Man, I've gone soft and can't couch surf anymore.
I'm not handling my birthday well this year. It's tomorrow. I don't care that I'm getting older, but I can't celebrate the way I want to and it's making me not want to celebrate at all. All I want is to celebrate with my twin sister but she's unvaxxed by choice and I'm not chancing my DS(5)' health. (He has a comorbidity and is only partially vaxxed.) And honestly I still have a lot of covid anxiety even though I just got my booster yesterday. It's been a rough almost two years. Therapy has helped, however I'm still a work in progress.
Post by Leeham Rimes on Nov 19, 2021 10:28:54 GMT -5
Time for my whining about my family:
My mother continues to just PUSH me and my boundaries. I swear, it sucks being the person to say "addiction should not be ignored or normalized and I'm putting MY mental well being first" bc all it does is make you the bad guy. My mom texted me b/c his birthday is Monday and she wanted me TO COME SEE HIM because IT WOULD MAKE HIM HAPPY.
FUCK ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THAT.
I replied with a real long message that no, i'm not doing that. I'm not interested in having much to do with him until he accepts and admits he's an alcoholic. That his behavior has harmed our family in many ways. That his alcoholism has put him in the nursing home (he blames my mom), and that he's in therapy to address all these issues and the core issue of WHY. I then put it's not fair for me to always put my mental health last and I cannot do it anymore.
Her reply: a sad face emoji.
So, what do you think she thinks is sad: that I feel like an orphan EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TWO LIVING PARENTS? that my alcoholic father has ruined our family both mental health wise and financially? Or that I refuse to enable this bullshit that I have lived my entire life and am standing up for myself.
Ugh. Fuck. I just---I don't want to do this shit anymore man. I really just don't. Life shouldn't be so hard. and add to this that my clients haven't paid their bills in three months and we're owed $25k and are living on savings that we just exhausted.
Last Edit: Nov 19, 2021 10:30:18 GMT -5 by Leeham Rimes
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
babsbunny - omg I totally get this. When I visited Charleston in the spring it was a last minute trip and I was trying to do it as cheaply as possible so I stayed with my friend and it was either share her Queen bed or sleep on the couch. I chose the couch and I am way.too.old for that shit lol.
I don't even love staying at the ILs where we have our own room and attached bathroom because the bathroom door is, like, a slatted bifold door? And that's not private enough for me even with H lol.
David's Thanksgiving break starts today so we're about to head out on a five mile hike, then packing for out trip to Colorado, hitting Target for road trip snacks, etc. H is putting the tree up tonight since we're driving back from CO Friday and there's no way we're going to be in the mood to decorate that weekend. Is anyone in CO? Are there supply issues there? We're going to Breckenridge and stopping at one of the larger grocery stores before we drive up the mountain. I feel like in my part of TX, we haven't had any supply issues but I'm wondering what I should prepare myself for.
This week has just dragged. So looking forward to a low-key weekend- no real plans except hanging out with my favorite aunt who just arrived yesterday evening and my parents.
DH was supposed to be home tomorrow, now it's probably Tuesday at best. He says he's SURE he'll be home before Thanksgiving, but I don't share his confidence. I might see how my parents and aunt feel about doing Thanksgiving dinner on Fri or Sat, wouldn't be the first time we celebrated on a different day due to different people's work schedules and other considerations.
Post by lilypad1126 on Nov 19, 2021 10:48:14 GMT -5
I'm going out of town in a couple weeks for a quick weekend trip. I posted about it on facebook and a friend who lives in that area messaged me and asked if i'd have time to meet up. Sure I do! I haven't seen her in like 10 years, and while we were good friends back then, we've both moved and gotten busy with our own lives since then. I thought we were just those facebook friends who used to work together. So I'm excited about this!
I've been making an effort recently to reach out to friends a little more and even though I still don't have a whirlwind social life, I'm finding that my friends are happy to hear from me and excited to plan happy hours (even if some of them are still over zoom). So I'm feeling pretty proud of myself, haha.
DH had to go in and clean out his office (he and his team are permanently remote now, and the branch is repurposing the space). Just before lockdown, he had ordered a new office chair. It’s mine now, and I just assembled it, and I never knew desk chairs could be this comfortable.
We leave tomorrow to visit my parents in SC for Thanksgiving. We haven't been since 2019. I'm very excited to go "home". I’m 80% packed (which includes packing for myself, both kids, and all road trip incidentals). DH has not packed at all. The cat knows we’re leaving and has left two hairball surprises for me.
I put myself on DND on Teams at work. There's one dude on my team that grinds my gears, and I don't have it in me to deal with him today (at least not nicely ).
My H and I are going to a holiday bazaar in our town tonight, and we also have dinner reservations at our favorite BYOB.
My mom is in hospice in-patient at the hospital as of today. She's got multiple medical problems, and her body is shutting down. She's only 77 but so OLD and has been for years (She's also a pack+/day smoker since she was a teenager). I have friends that age that will tell me they did 50 miles on their bike that day at 17 mph. They aren't old. I'm trying to handle it. Our relationship is contentious, but I've been calling weekly to see how she is. I share very little of my life with them other than work or how my house is. I am not planning to go until there is a turn for the worse or she passes. I'm not a horrible person, but we don't get along. She could pass tomorrow, in a few weeks, or months from now. The doctors don't know or my dad isn't telling me the full story.
I know my family will try to stage an intervention for me when I go since I don't share their religion. (My brother doesn't either, but it's ok since he's a man.) I'm a failure to everyone in my family (let's not forget that I graduated college, have a professional level job with a good company, own a house, race bicycles, ride horses, pay my taxes, try to give back through volunteering, etc. Pretty boring average person.)
My school district was the focus of a 2-part NY Times podcast on how fucked up school boards have become. I listened yesterday, and while I knew a lot of it, hearing everything from the last year and half condensed down into the podcast, and also realizing that we are so messed up that we are newsworthy, was so incredibly depressing. We used to be one of the best districts in the state, but now they can't even get people to apply to work there. Sadly, there are so many more layers to the story that they could have easily done a third part if they wanted.
IN HAPPIER NEWS... My son was last-minute asked to be part of a holiday parade on Sunday. It is going to be insanely cold, but I'm looking forward to going and getting in the holiday spirit.
Post by NewGirlNic on Nov 19, 2021 11:35:07 GMT -5
My work bought a "table" for a virtual fundraising gala hosted by one of our customers. So after work, I get to go pick up a couple meals from a nice restaurant for dinner tonight. Free filet, yes please! Hopefully it's good.
@saddlebred Im so sorry. Im glad you’re doing what you need to keep boundaries, you don’t need to answer to anybody else’s expectations of how you should act or feel toward your mother.
It’s really really difficult to deal with family expectation or disappointment because you aren’t meeting their specific criteria for religion, and it’s like nothing else you do or who you are matters.
H and I got back from Key West yesterday. We had an amazing trip. It was so good for us. Travel went great. The boys did great with BIL. I feel at peace.
Also I had applied to another job a couple weeks ago. I normally stay off work email on vacation but did check once to see I was getting a phone interview. Anyways my email continued to be such a disaster that I missed the follow up letting me know it would be at 9 am this morning. I discovered it at 7:30 this morning. Oops! It went really well and I am excited about the position. But that was quite jarring to discover as I was weeding through 200 work emails. It is at the same institution so it automates to work email for contact. Anyways, what a morning lol.
Post by Captain Catnip on Nov 19, 2021 11:57:19 GMT -5
I started a random little side business at the push from a friend and I actually have a few clients (in a direction I didn't initially plan to go into.) It's weird but I'm enjoying it.
David's Thanksgiving break starts today so we're about to head out on a five mile hike, then packing for out trip to Colorado, hitting Target for road trip snacks, etc. H is putting the tree up tonight since we're driving back from CO Friday and there's no way we're going to be in the mood to decorate that weekend. Is anyone in CO? Are there supply issues there? We're going to Breckenridge and stopping at one of the larger grocery stores before we drive up the mountain. I feel like in my part of TX, we haven't had any supply issues but I'm wondering what I should prepare myself for.
I can’t answer for Brekenridge but when we were in EP in July and October the freezer section was pretty bare but the rest of the store was fine.
We are leaving on vacation tomorrow, so I took today off to do some schoolwork and pack. I'm mostly done packing and have done some of the school stuff, but still have a lot left. I am also supposed to meet friends for a drink today, which I really don't have time for but my one friend is moving out of state literally tomorrow so there is no other time to do it.
I am feeling nervous/anxious about the trip. I guess this is what I do now when we go on trips. It usually passes after the first day but it's annoying. I love traveling and feel very comfortable with the logistics of doing it, so IDK why the anxiety always shows up anyway. Oh well. Hopefully it melts away once we get to our resort.
I do have some very minor worries about the flight being cancelled or something, but so far it hasn't and it's showing on time. A lot can change between now and 8am tomorrow but I am hopeful it won't.
I have a dumb email question. If you're emailing back and forth with someone do you address the beginning of every email to them? Or just start in with the response?
I have a dumb email question. If you're emailing back and forth with someone do you address the beginning of every email to them? Or just start in with the response?
I just do response on any reply - I only do address if I'm initiating original email.
I have a dumb email question. If you're emailing back and forth with someone do you address the beginning of every email to them? Or just start in with the response?
I have a dumb email question. If you're emailing back and forth with someone do you address the beginning of every email to them? Or just start in with the response?
I almost always address the person by name. I work on an international team and was told that not using a salutation or signature was too informal.
I have a dumb email question. If you're emailing back and forth with someone do you address the beginning of every email to them? Or just start in with the response?
It depends on the length of the response. If it is a few sentences (or less), response only. If it is extensive, I address them /greet them. Or if there has been a lapse in time.