Post by redheadbaker on Dec 22, 2021 11:11:25 GMT -5
Is it possible to feel the side effects of depression -- no joy in things you usually love, no motivation to do anything -- without actually feeling depressed? Because that's how I feel right now. I have no motivation to finish my gingerbread house. I haven't baked a single Christmas cookie. I haven't wrapped a single gift (and I love gift wrapping). But I don't *feel* depressed.
I’m not an expert, but for me personally I feel like “it depends.” If it’s something I’ve previously really enjoyed, then I take it as a warning sign that something’s not quite right. But there’s plenty of stuff I never really liked to do, and when I lack motivation to do those things, I think it’s a sign that I’m actually taking BETTER care of myself by choosing not to do them. Takes some honestly to figure out if I really enjoy things vs. just did them out of obligation or because other liked them.
Post by lemoncupcake on Dec 22, 2021 12:36:50 GMT -5
I kind of feel the same way - not really sad or anxious, just kind of flat? And occasionally more annoyed/ragey with my family than the situation calls for.
I thought about talking to a doctor about it, but it almost doesn’t seem bad enough to justify, which I know is not probably true.
Post by breezy8407 on Dec 22, 2021 12:48:13 GMT -5
I feel this. I think its exhaustion from covid and covid related decision making fatigue.
Months ago, H and I booked a trip in January and I finally felt like I had something to look forward to, and now I am back to thinking we will have to cancel. Again.
Post by litebright on Dec 22, 2021 12:51:00 GMT -5
I felt that way and sought treatment for depression. I'm on an anti-anxiety med and it has really reduced the feeling flat and unmotivated/overwhelmed. Not being able to enjoy things that you normally would, is definitely a sign.
For me, the thing that tipped me into pursuing treatment was hearing a blip on the radio about people talking about avoiding regrets and my internal reaction was, "Isn't it all just regrets, all the time, about everything?" For some reason that brought me up short and made me check myself and go, "That is not a good or normal place for me to be, mentally."
If YOU don't think you're in a good or normal-for-you place mentally, regardless of how you think depression ought to feel, I think it's worth pursuing help with a professional.
Post by redheadbaker on Dec 22, 2021 14:10:24 GMT -5
I already know I have depression. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder almost ten years ago. This is just different from my normal experience with depression.
ETA: Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder and seasonal affective disorder too.
I think what you describe sounds like "languishing". Adam Grant had a good TED talk about this somewhat recently. I've been feeling that pretty hard. I'm doing fine, everything's fine, but also don't really want to do anything and nothing sounds fun or exciting.
I think what you describe sounds like "languishing". Adam Grant had a good TED talk about this somewhat recently. I've been feeling that pretty hard. I'm doing fine, everything's fine, but also don't really want to do anything and nothing sounds fun or exciting.
Yes, this is exactly it. I usually feel this more acutely in the Jan and beyond stage of winter but this year it’s come early. Likely in large part because covid has made everything a living hellscape that is exhausting and sucks the fun and joy out of everything.
That is how I felt for years about the holidays. Last year I felt a tiny bit motivated and this year a little bit more motivated. But not enough to have everything prepared in a more timely manner. At least I’m not feeling the dread from years past to meet obligations like doorman gifts (when we lived in the city) and teachers gifts.
My random is that 2021 is the year I apparently discovered YouTube. I’m enjoying learning random things on there. Last night I saw a suggested video for Fondant Potatoes and am inspired to make them for Christmas dinner. Small win for me.
FYI for anyone already medicated that is suddenly feeling “breakthrough depression”, get your vitamin D levels checked! Happened to me and my level was super low and I needed an Rx for a high dose of vitamin D. Now I just automatically take it between November-March. My husband takes it year round since he has a windowless office.
And... our part of town had a water main break this morning. We're now under a boil order. With no ETA on when it might end. Whee!
But, I am now off work until the new year. The office shuts down between Christmas and New Years, and tomorrow and Friday are being observed for Christmas Eve and Christmas.
And, I'll be spending part of the break studying up - I have an interview for a new position on the 2nd day back from break. It's with the same company, but at a level of responsibility and pay that is much more commensurate with my background and experience. Could be a 20k/year raise (as well as an increase in potential bonus payouts). I'm one of two folks that are being interviewed, and know half the interview panel, which could be good, or bad, I'm not sure. The company uses the STAR format, so that's the studying I need to do - remembering and jotting down some details for a variety of topics that are likely to come up, in order to be able to recall them better, and recount them more smoothly, during the interview.
Post by 1confused1 on Dec 22, 2021 17:22:31 GMT -5
I have nothing to do at work and so much to do at home to prepare for Christmas Day. And I work til noon on Christmas Eve, guess Friday will be a very productive afternoon!
FYI for anyone already medicated that is suddenly feeling “breakthrough depression”, get your vitamin D levels checked! Happened to me and my level was super low and I needed an Rx for a high dose of vitamin D. Now I just automatically take it between November-March. My husband takes it year round since he has a windowless office.
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Dec 22, 2021 18:51:27 GMT -5
I'm now off till 12/28 (and then only working that day and try next). Tomorrow we're doing a chicken wing taste test contest from 4 or 5 Chinese places in my area. Then I am going to bake and make a custard for ice cream. I'm oddly excited.
Post by RoxMonster on Dec 22, 2021 22:55:00 GMT -5
I'm also not feeling Christmas too much this year. My grandpa fell on Monday, broke his hip, and just had surgery today. My parents have to stick around to help out with getting him home from the hospital and in the days following his return home, so they are not able to come spend Christmas with us as planned. So that's a bummer. They are where they need to be and I want them to be there, but it still sucks. We had some fun stuff planned as a family.
So it's just H and me now. I think we will still cook ALL the food like we planned. We'll just have lots of leftovers. But for instance, I have none of my gifts wrapped. And since I procrastinate everything, I didn't have my parents' gifts bought as of Monday and now that we've postponed our family Christmas indefinitely, I am not planning on buying their gifts until after Christmas is over lol.
I am also feeling meh and really snappy at my H. When he was watching a Christmas movie the other day, I walked up and was just SEETHING, saying I feel like I have a part time job at Christmas, while he just gets to sit back and bask in the jolliness. (He got up and did some dishes and wrapping, so I guess he got the picture?) He would be willing to do more work, but he’d do every bit of it on Christmas Eve because he does every blessed thing at the last minute, and I’d be in a blind panic, so I just do it.
I don’t have any food for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day (the main meal each day is at my parents’, but we really should have nice breakfasts and a nice appetizer spread…meh. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Chinese food. Maybe PBJ. Whatever.)
Post by ChillyMcFreeze on Dec 23, 2021 8:58:19 GMT -5
I'm the only sucker at work today. I'm kind of mad that we don't actually get Christmas Day and NY Day off... like, the sun gave us those days off. I should be off today to make up for Saturday holidays lol. Anyway, I have about one hour of inbox-clearing left in me before I put on a Netflix Christmas movie call it a day. I am a warm body and nothing more.
Also lots of folks not feeling it this year. I have fewer Christmas cards this year. Either everyone hates me or people just opted out this year.
I've noticed fewer this year, too. Either that or people got tied of only getting them every other year from me (I'm not very reliable when it comes to holiday cards).
I don’t have any food for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day (the main meal each day is at my parents’, but we really should have nice breakfasts and a nice appetizer spread…meh. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Chinese food. Maybe PBJ. Whatever.)
We had done the same thing for Christmas Eve since I was born (party at my parents' best friends' house) -- it was canceled for COVID, and then they moved into their vacation home permanently, so no more Christmas Eve parties.
I have no energy to plan something nice for Christmas Eve, so we're just going out to dinner.
Post by NewOrleans on Dec 23, 2021 13:15:32 GMT -5
I had my six-month dentist appointment today. I’ve talked a lot on this board about my dentist anxiety. So glad it’s done. I need to take a nap because the whole thing exhausted me so much and I’m so relieved.