I don’t have any food for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day (the main meal each day is at my parents’, but we really should have nice breakfasts and a nice appetizer spread…meh. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Chinese food. Maybe PBJ. Whatever.)
We had done the same thing for Christmas Eve since I was born (party at my parents' best friends' house) -- it was canceled for COVID, and then they moved into their vacation home permanently, so no more Christmas Eve parties.
I have no energy to plan something nice for Christmas Eve, so we're just going out to dinner.
This is the best description. Any obligation, even making the slightest decision, freaks me the whole fuck out.
I am under the care of a psych and a therapist. I’m not at risk of suicide. But I also just don’t see any chance for improvement of the myriad conditions that landed me here.
I had my six-month dentist appointment today. I’ve talked a lot on this board about my dentist anxiety. So glad it’s done. I need to take a nap because the whole thing exhausted me so much and I’m so relieved.
I’m proud of you. I’m going on 2 years because I’m fucking terrified of covid and when my new dental kicks in in Feb I need to go. But I don't want to. And it’s going to be a bloodbath and I’m scared they’re going to yell at me.
I had my six-month dentist appointment today. I’ve talked a lot on this board about my dentist anxiety. So glad it’s done. I need to take a nap because the whole thing exhausted me so much and I’m so relieved.
I’m proud of you. I’m going on 2 years because I’m fucking terrified of covid and when my new dental kicks in in Feb I need to go. But I don't want to. And it’s going to be a bloodbath and I’m scared they’re going to yell at me.
I've always wondered if dentists have any sort of sensitivity training in school because how many people don't keep up with their dental care for reasons like this? I've had dentists who were scolds and it's just counterproductive generally.
I’m proud of you. I’m going on 2 years because I’m fucking terrified of covid and when my new dental kicks in in Feb I need to go. But I don't want to. And it’s going to be a bloodbath and I’m scared they’re going to yell at me.
I've always wondered if dentists have any sort of sensitivity training in school because how many people don't keep up with their dental care for reasons like this? I've had dentists who were scolds and it's just counterproductive generally.
I’ve never had a dentist who didn’t yell at me. Even when I’m at my very best taking care of my teeth (which is definitely not right now) they always scold and tell me they don’t believe me that I floss. It’s incredible because while I’ve had some bad providers in other health care areas I have never had as consistently bad luck as I have with dentists. And you’re exactly right, the scarier they make an experience people are already often afraid of and self conscious about, the more people delay. I keep hoping as I get older newer dentists will have a better bedside manner.
I had my six-month dentist appointment today. I’ve talked a lot on this board about my dentist anxiety. So glad it’s done. I need to take a nap because the whole thing exhausted me so much and I’m so relieved.
I’m proud of you. I’m going on 2 years because I’m fucking terrified of covid and when my new dental kicks in in Feb I need to go. But I don't want to. And it’s going to be a bloodbath and I’m scared they’re going to yell at me.
Ah shit. What helps me go is 1) actually making the appointment. (I do it when I’m there so that I can’t “aw shucks I forgot!” which I will do to avoid). 2) I remind them first thing, even if they know me, about my issues and tell them it’s documented in my chart. Maybe you can make the appointment and ask them to note in your chart that Covid anxiety has kept you out of their office and you are concerned about how that will be received by your caregivers. Or maybe you could ask your wife to have that conversation if you can’t stomach it? 3) the ultrasonic cleaner thingy is faster so I have to have that. I physically can’t stand the scraper hook or scaling.
Another thing that keeps me going is flossing the hell out of my mouth, using Sonicare top level electric toothbrush, and the purple Listerine religiously so I can say honestly to myself that I am doing everything I can. It kind of arms me.
And I take Xanax before I go, lol. Can you pop a Xanax and make the call when it kicks in?
I've always wondered if dentists have any sort of sensitivity training in school because how many people don't keep up with their dental care for reasons like this? I've had dentists who were scolds and it's just counterproductive generally.
I’ve never had a dentist who didn’t yell at me. Even when I’m at my very best taking care of my teeth (which is definitely not right now) they always scold and tell me they don’t believe me that I floss. It’s incredible because while I’ve had some bad providers in other health care areas I have never had as consistently bad luck as I have with dentists. And you’re exactly right, the scarier they make an experience people are already often afraid of and self conscious about, the more people delay. I keep hoping as I get older newer dentists will have a better bedside manner.
I’m proud of you. I’m going on 2 years because I’m fucking terrified of covid and when my new dental kicks in in Feb I need to go. But I don't want to. And it’s going to be a bloodbath and I’m scared they’re going to yell at me.
Ah shit. What helps me go is 1) actually making the appointment. (I do it when I’m there so that I can’t “aw shucks I forgot!” which I will do to avoid). 2) I remind them first thing, even if they know me, about my issues and tell them it’s documented in my chart. Maybe you can make the appointment and ask them to note in your chart that Covid anxiety has kept you out of their office and you are concerned about how that will be received by your caregivers. Or maybe you could ask your wife to have that conversation if you can’t stomach it? 3) the ultrasonic cleaner thingy is faster so I have to have that. I physically can’t stand the scraper hook or scaling.
Another thing that keeps me going is flossing the hell out of my mouth, using Sonicare top level electric toothbrush, and the purple Listerine religiously so I can say honestly to myself that I am doing everything I can. It kind of arms me.
And I take Xanax before I go, lol. Can you pop a Xanax and make the call when it kicks in?
I’m going to do all this. You are very inspiring. I dont have an insurance card so I’m not sure if they will let me make an appointment until I can give them the info because that has been an issue for me in the past. I also need to find a new office that has decent reviews because my last office is now 1+ hours away from where I live and I hated them anyways so I’m not going to travel that far. Maybe I’ll start this weekend by researching offices to call on Monday. That is a good baby step that feels manageable.
I've always wondered if dentists have any sort of sensitivity training in school because how many people don't keep up with their dental care for reasons like this? I've had dentists who were scolds and it's just counterproductive generally.
I’ve never had a dentist who didn’t yell at me. Even when I’m at my very best taking care of my teeth (which is definitely not right now) they always scold and tell me they don’t believe me that I floss. It’s incredible because while I’ve had some bad providers in other health care areas I have never had as consistently bad luck as I have with dentists. And you’re exactly right, the scarier they make an experience people are already often afraid of and self conscious about, the more people delay. I keep hoping as I get older newer dentists will have a better bedside manner.
My current dentist has a lovely chairside manner and I wish I could export her to other people. I was totally up front at my first visit that I don't really floss because...reasons...and that sometimes my ability to complete selfcare tasks wanes, again, because reasons...so as much as I might want to do better, it's not going to happen consistently. NOw knowing a few years later that it's because i have rampant uncontrolled ADHD clears up some shit about WHY this is my reality, but just saying all that at our first visit and havinig her just nod along and say, "ok, that's good to know. do you think you'd be more likely to use a mouthwash regularly, because that would help a bit?" was beyond refreshing. She never gives me shit.
I do have to wonder if she squinted at me a little and played, "hmmm, what's your undiagnosed mental health condition" in her head because "I struggle with flossing. I want to floss. But I can't. don't know why." feels pretty obvious a flag to me now in retrospect.
I’ve never had a dentist who didn’t yell at me. Even when I’m at my very best taking care of my teeth (which is definitely not right now) they always scold and tell me they don’t believe me that I floss. It’s incredible because while I’ve had some bad providers in other health care areas I have never had as consistently bad luck as I have with dentists. And you’re exactly right, the scarier they make an experience people are already often afraid of and self conscious about, the more people delay. I keep hoping as I get older newer dentists will have a better bedside manner.
My current dentist has a lovely chairside manner and I wish I could export her to other people. I was totally up front at my first visit that I don't really floss because...reasons...and that sometimes my ability to complete selfcare tasks wanes, again, because reasons...so as much as I might want to do better, it's not going to happen consistently. NOw knowing a few years later that it's because i have rampant uncontrolled ADHD clears up some shit about WHY this is my reality, but just saying all that at our first visit and havinig her just nod along and say, "ok, that's good to know. do you think you'd be more likely to use a mouthwash regularly, because that would help a bit?" was beyond refreshing. She never gives me shit.
I do have to wonder if she squinted at me a little and played, "hmmm, what's your undiagnosed mental health condition" in her head because "I struggle with flossing. I want to floss. But I can't. don't know why." feels pretty obvious a flag to me now in retrospect.
I want to lead with “I range from borderline depressed to crippling depression and for the past 5ish years could not handle how triggering some of the questions you need to answer at the dentist are so for a variety of reasons I’ve avoided y’all and also taken bad care of my teeth/dealt with medical stuff that contributed to making my bad teeth even worse and then there was a pandemic that transmitted a deadly virus via droplet so I was even more scared to come do this so please don’t yell at me because even coming here required a lot of prepping.”
Gotta find that right blend of dentist slash therapist that somehow understands that oral hygiene is related to all of these things in complicated ways! 😬
Ah shit. What helps me go is 1) actually making the appointment. (I do it when I’m there so that I can’t “aw shucks I forgot!” which I will do to avoid). 2) I remind them first thing, even if they know me, about my issues and tell them it’s documented in my chart. Maybe you can make the appointment and ask them to note in your chart that Covid anxiety has kept you out of their office and you are concerned about how that will be received by your caregivers. Or maybe you could ask your wife to have that conversation if you can’t stomach it? 3) the ultrasonic cleaner thingy is faster so I have to have that. I physically can’t stand the scraper hook or scaling.
Another thing that keeps me going is flossing the hell out of my mouth, using Sonicare top level electric toothbrush, and the purple Listerine religiously so I can say honestly to myself that I am doing everything I can. It kind of arms me.
And I take Xanax before I go, lol. Can you pop a Xanax and make the call when it kicks in?
I’m going to do all this. You are very inspiring. I dont have an insurance card so I’m not sure if they will let me make an appointment until I can give them the info because that has been an issue for me in the past. I also need to find a new office that has decent reviews because my last office is now 1+ hours away from where I live and I hated them anyways so I’m not going to travel that far. Maybe I’ll start this weekend by researching offices to call on Monday. That is a good baby step that feels manageable.
Awww, I really hope I offered something useful. You deserve to have a healthy mouth and to have this burden lifted. My neighborhood FB group is constantly asking for recs for gentle dentists or patient doctors and such, if you have that kind of group.
I was inspired by pixy0stix saying she has been flossing every day this year, since we're speaking of oral health, so I ordered fancy floss - cocofloss.com/
I also hate mint, so I have them give me the strawberry polish or whatever at the dentist, lol.
I'm medicated for anxiety (Lexapro, which is also an anti-depressant/SSRI), but last Christmas was, in retrospect, awful because of where I was with my mental health. I remember on NYE, my H had to drive into Philly to pick up a cheese and champagne pairing kit we were going to do over zoom. I was so afraid to be alone (not suicidal, just too much separation anxiety) that I took the nearly 1.5 hour round trip drive with him. In October/November last year I went to the ER 3 times, and was kept for 2 days one of those times to do imaging because my lymph nodes were enlarged and I had a lung nodule. I was a wreck, thinking I was going to die from heart palpitations or cancer, when it was seriously just major anxiety.
I'm technically off work today, and I've been packing the car (since my husband is in a leg brace). We're leaving at the crack of dawn. I was going to go to north philly and buy Christmas stollen - decided against that. I need to clean the bathroom. I need to clean the fridge/kitchen. I need to clean the litter boxes. I am unmotivated to do any of those things. Anxiety is better. I don't have clinical depression. I do not feel motivated to do a lot. It's just mentally exhausting.
Post by notsopicky on Dec 23, 2021 15:29:18 GMT -5
RE: dentists, I had a fear of dentists for years after I saw the most terrible one imaginable when I was in college.
I found a new one after several years of avoidance and she was also terrible. After the first visit, the office manager (whom I'm now friends with) suggested that I see her partner instead. This guy is amazing; on the first visit, I said out loud to him, please no lectures, no scolding, no shaming, and I will come back as often as you want to see me. He is the most gentle, patient man and I love him. My whole family goes to him.
I wonder if more people say out loud and purposefully: no lectures, no scolding, no shaming, that these intimidating dentists would listen and oblige?
RE: dentists, I had a fear of dentists for years after I saw the most terrible one imaginable when I was in college.
I found a new one after several years of avoidance and she was also terrible. After the first visit, the office manager (whom I'm now friends with) suggested that I see her partner instead. This guy is amazing; on the first visit, I said out loud to him, please no lectures, no scolding, no shaming, and I will come back as often as you want to see me. He is the most gentle, patient man and I love him. My whole family goes to him.
I wonder if more people say out loud and purposefully: no lectures, no scolding, no shaming, that these intimidating dentists would listen and oblige?
I have not had any luck with that strategy at the last 4 offices I’ve been a patient at.
I was inspired by pixy0stix saying she has been flossing every day this year, since we're speaking of oral health, so I ordered fancy floss - cocofloss.com/
I also hate mint, so I have them give me the strawberry polish or whatever at the dentist, lol.
I'm medicated for anxiety (Lexapro, which is also an anti-depressant/SSRI), but last Christmas was, in retrospect, awful because of where I was with my mental health. I remember on NYE, my H had to drive into Philly to pick up a cheese and champagne pairing kit we were going to do over zoom. I was so afraid to be alone (not suicidal, just too much separation anxiety) that I took the nearly 1.5 hour round trip drive with him. In October/November last year I went to the ER 3 times, and was kept for 2 days one of those times to do imaging because my lymph nodes were enlarged and I had a lung nodule. I was a wreck, thinking I was going to die from heart palpitations or cancer, when it was seriously just major anxiety.
I'm technically off work today, and I've been packing the car (since my husband is in a leg brace). We're leaving at the crack of dawn. I was going to go to north philly and buy Christmas stollen - decided against that. I need to clean the bathroom. I need to clean the fridge/kitchen. I need to clean the litter boxes. I am unmotivated to do any of those things. Anxiety is better. I don't have clinical depression. I do not feel motivated to do a lot. It's just mentally exhausting.
That's the fancy floss I ordered to get me motivated!
I would like a dentist to acknowledge that me showing up every 6 months IS taking care of my mouth. I'm here! I'm letting you poke around and check for cavities. I brush twice a day, but I don't have time to floss daily and maintain a skin routine, and exercise and all the other self care shit while also maintaining relationships and being a decent employee. Something has to give and flossing is it.
I had my six-month dentist appointment today. I’ve talked a lot on this board about my dentist anxiety. So glad it’s done. I need to take a nap because the whole thing exhausted me so much and I’m so relieved.
I’m proud of you. I’m going on 2 years because I’m fucking terrified of covid and when my new dental kicks in in Feb I need to go. But I don't want to. And it’s going to be a bloodbath and I’m scared they’re going to yell at me.
. Please don’t anyone flame me, but I went almost 15 years without going to the dentist. For about half that time I kept putting it off because I thought they were going to yell at me for not going. When I finally found a dentist and went to see him he was very nice and didn’t give me a hard time. And I’ve been going regularly ever since.
I’m proud of you. I’m going on 2 years because I’m fucking terrified of covid and when my new dental kicks in in Feb I need to go. But I don't want to. And it’s going to be a bloodbath and I’m scared they’re going to yell at me.
. Please don’t anyone flame me, but I went almost 15 years without going to the dentist. For about half that time I kept putting it off because I thought they were going to yell at me for not going. When I finally found a dentist and went to see him he was very nice and didn’t give me a hard time. And I’ve been going regularly ever since.
My dad never went to the dentist when i was growing up. In fact, I remember his first adult dentist visit. I was about 15, so he would've been about 45 at the time.
Post by lilypad1126 on Dec 23, 2021 21:45:54 GMT -5
I feel this dental stuff so hard. My last appt was February 2021. My next one (finally called this last Monday for an appt) is February 2022. I missed the intervening one because we moved. And then I just….didn’t have the time/want to make time to deal with finding a new dentist. Andplusalso in order to get an appt I have to CALL the office. I tried to make my H do it, but uh, I asked in OCTOBER for him to figure it out, and now here we are in December and clearly he hasn’t done it.
So my ADHD gets in the way, my anxiety gets in the way, and just generally I don’t have time for one more thing. But I’ve had a lot of expensive dental work, so I need to go to make sure everything is still ok.
While most everyone I know bought the wine advent calendar from Costco, I bought the Bonne Maman jam advent calendar. I totally forgot about it until we were making cookies though, so we used the jams to make thumbprint cookies. They are SO GOOD. All the different flavors, with complex jams. YUM.
The dentist talk is making me so grateful I found a good one. Then we moved to Dubai, where dentistry is just cosmetic. H went to a recommended guy who told him "you don't need any cleaning! I'll just polish them!" Then he made H some coffee and they visited for 45 minutes.
The movie Together (streaming on Hulu) with James McAvoy and Sharon Horgan, is surprisingly awesome. The scene of her talking about her mam about 1/3 way in is fucking heartbreaking.
“With sorrow—for this Court, but more, for the many millions of American women who have today lost a fundamental constitutional protection—we dissent,”
I’m proud of you. I’m going on 2 years because I’m fucking terrified of covid and when my new dental kicks in in Feb I need to go. But I don't want to. And it’s going to be a bloodbath and I’m scared they’re going to yell at me.
I've always wondered if dentists have any sort of sensitivity training in school because how many people don't keep up with their dental care for reasons like this? I've had dentists who were scolds and it's just counterproductive generally.
I don’t know. I have had nothing but positive experiences at my office (been going there for nearly 40 yrs now), and they seem to be really understanding that stuff happens and people try their best. I will say, though, that my friends’ dentists seem to have a far different approach, though. It’s why I always recommend mine.
Post by georgeglass on Dec 24, 2021 7:29:37 GMT -5
seeyalater52, I announce all of my issues when I sit in the chair. I have only had one person continue to scold me and I said, "It's almost like you didn't listen to the stuff I said before." She scolded again. I said, "No shit. I already told you that." and she stopped. It felt oddly empowering.
That being said, I am probably 2 years overdue. Maybe we should all make appointments together and hold each other accountable.
I haven't been to the dentist in... three years? I should probably do something about that.
My random this morning is that I have been awake since 5am. Husband forgot to turn his alarm off. I don't like where my mind goes when I'm just laying there in the dark unable to sleep. Should have just gotten up because now I'm in a really crappy mood. This is not how I want to feel today 😕
The movie Together (streaming on Hulu) with James McAvoy and Sharon Horgan, is surprisingly awesome. The scene of her talking about her mam about 1/3 way in is fucking heartbreaking.
Is it? I love Sharon Horgan, but I skipped over it because it was pandemic related and I feel exhausted by Covid lol. But if it’s really good I’ll give it a shot.
Post by rupertpenny on Dec 24, 2021 8:14:11 GMT -5
Add me to the dentist averse list. In addition to all the other stuff I’m always scared they are going to tell me I need super intense and $$$$ treatments and I just never know how much is really necessary.
If dentistry were treated like any other medical care and covered by insurance in the same way I think I would feel a lot less anxiety.
Guys, flossing is the best. THE BEST. I can’t sleep unless I’ve flossed. Take the time to find the right floss and go live your best clean mouth life!
*not a dentist *big fan of glide *my dentist never yells at me
If anybody has any suggestions for a flossing approach that won't make me gag I'm all ears. The best I've managed is the flosser thingies where the floss is perpendicular to the handle, but I still can't get my back teeth with that without gagging. Maybe if I could solve that I'd finally get it to land into my routine daily? (probably not...but maybe!)
Also...I am willing to assume you didn't mean it this way, but the "my dentist never yells at me" comes off, at best, flippant as fuck for what people are expressing as an actual problem they have. at worst it's smug and assholey.