32, even though my gray hair would have you think otherwise. I’m pregnant with my fourth, and they’ve aged me a lot, but I don’t feel like a real adult most of the time.
Post by notsopicky on Jan 21, 2022 23:57:37 GMT -5
I'm 48 (just turned, last month) and I've been thinking a lot about where I am in life vs. where my mom was in life at that same age.
When she was 48, she had a 23 year old daughter who was in her second year of FT employment in her college major field and a 17 year old son who was 18 months shy of enlisting in the military. I'm 48, and I have a 10 year old in 5th grade, who wants to be a singer or a YouTuber when he grows up (lol).
I turn 50 this year. When my mom was my age, I (the youngest of three) was graduating high school, and my sister had already been married for 2 years.
DH and I don't have kids, I've always said that we don't 'age' the same way people who do have kids do, because we don't go through those milestones again. It makes it weird to compare myself to my mom at this age.
This is exactly how I feel. I was just saying this same thing to a childhood friend I recently reconnected with last week. When my mom was my age I had already been married & divorced. 😳
Post by emilyinchile on Jan 22, 2022 7:13:28 GMT -5
I'm 36, and in reading these posts I've realized that basically if you have kids older than mine and give me the impression you know what you're doing as a parent, I've been assuming you're a bit older than I am.
My mom had me when she was 38, and I'm her only child, so I don't feel big differences there, but she was definitely more of a professional badass by this age than I am.
Obviously our perception of what it means to be in one's 50s, 60s, etc. has changed quite a bit over the last 35 years, but here, a lot of it does come down to styling and hair dye (which is a plot point on AJLT)," wrote one Twitter user.
Once my mom had kids (at 30) her style became more matronly. She cut her long hair into an 80s short hair and perm and wore the 80/90s teacher outfits mentioned above. The Golden Girls characters would look completely different with longer dyed hair and sexier clothes.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Jan 22, 2022 10:06:01 GMT -5
I turn 40 in October this year.
I...apparently totally disagree with almost everyone in this thread, in that I felt like I grew up really early and had to be an adult from a super young age, so I can barely remember ever feeling like a kid. It's not that I feel like I have everything figured out or anything, it's just that I've known that the responsibility to figure it out is mine, and I've felt like that forever. Looking back, I often wish that dh and I had taken more time to be young and carefree (we moved in together right out of college while he went to med school and I worked full time while taking grad classes. We got a dog, then we got engaged, then we got married, then we had ds 2 weeks before our 1st anniversary, during which dh was also in the military, and then came some insane years while he was deployed more than not and I was the mom of 2 kids). He took med school very seriously, and while we had friends and went out and had fun, it was very much an adult/responsible version of fun, on an insanely small budget because we were broke and saving for our future. I KNOW if we hadn't been so responsible, we wouldn't be where we are now, and I very much like where we are now, so I don't regret it, I just kinda wish there had been a way for things to be different or to have had some carefree time. I do sincerely hope that we are able to enjoy some carefree adult time in the near future though. I know it won't be the same, but hopefully still be enjoyable!
Post by sandandsea on Jan 22, 2022 10:52:02 GMT -5
I was the same age when my son started kindergarten as my mom was when I graduated high school. She had me at 19 and I had DS1 at 31. She was also the young cool mom and my fear is I’m the old not cool mom. But I feel much younger than she was at my age!!
Post by snapoutofit on Jan 22, 2022 10:54:54 GMT -5
52 on Monday! LOL at me thinking I was turning 53 but nope. It's only 2022 lol. I'm the youngest of 3 and my mom was 47 when I graduated high school. My son is in grade 7. It always amazes me that she seemed so much older. Although, she's always acted kind of old. My sister and I joke that mom as been 80 since she was 40 lol.
I both feel like I haven't aged at all during the pandemic - my birthday is in March, so this will be my third COVID birthday - and like I am a million years old. I will say that marrying someone 10 years older makes time pass in weird ways. It didn't matter when we were 27 and 37 as much but I feel like I entered the life of something their 40s when he did and I about the next years, with two sets of aging parents a d us middle aged. I don't want any more babies (DS is 10) but the idea that I can't have them is also really hard for whatever reason.
I...apparently totally disagree with almost everyone in this thread, in that I felt like I grew up really early and had to be an adult from a super young age, so I can barely remember ever feeling like a kid. It's not that I feel like I have everything figured out or anything, it's just that I've known that the responsibility to figure it out is mine, and I've felt like that forever. Looking back, I often wish that dh and I had taken more time to be young and carefree (we moved in together right out of college while he went to med school and I worked full time while taking grad classes. We got a dog, then we got engaged, then we got married, then we had ds 2 weeks before our 1st anniversary, during which dh was also in the military, and then came some insane years while he was deployed more than not and I was the mom of 2 kids). He took med school very seriously, and while we had friends and went out and had fun, it was very much an adult/responsible version of fun, on an insanely small budget because we were broke and saving for our future. I KNOW if we hadn't been so responsible, we wouldn't be where we are now, and I very much like where we are now, so I don't regret it, I just kinda wish there had been a way for things to be different or to have had some carefree time. I do sincerely hope that we are able to enjoy some carefree adult time in the near future though. I know it won't be the same, but hopefully still be enjoyable!
+1 I feel like that line the dad tells George Bailey in it’s a wonderful life “you were born old, George”. I think we’re finally starting to let loose and have more fun though. We did here and there, but it just seems easier now, esp after spending my 20s in law school, internships, and proving myself in a job. I hope you’re enjoying the’back 9’ too. 😊-
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I'm 64, and I once told my sister that "old" is always five years older than me. She thought that was a great attitude until she realized that she is five years older than me. lol
I have never been a mom hair/ matronly clothes kind of person, and don't see that changing. Ever. My style has always leaned a little more edgy or quirky, depending on my mood. lol
As for the whole 'but you don't look (whatever age)' thing...I decided a long time ago that it is kind of a weird, ageist compliment. I mean, no matter how you look, you are your age, so that actually is what it looks like. It is what it is, and there's nothing wrong with that.
My dad was 85 when he died, and he only seemed old to me that last year. My mom got old after my father died...her grief rapidly aged her in every way possible. I always thought my mom dressed boring, but I don't remember thinking of her as being old....until she was.
38. I think this is probably universal, but I don't feel like what I thought 38 would feel like. I was 14/15 when my mom was 38. My memories of her are...not how I feel now, does that make sense?
Yes, definitely, but that’s also perception vs. reality. For instance, my DD definitely sees me as a mom — a cool mom (she often likes to tell me I’m not a Karen ha), but a mom nonetheless. I also catch myself saying mom-things like telling her I’m going to trip over her shoes one day and break my neck. 😞
I also feel it when I hang around my younger coworkers and they’re so, like, deferential. The way they interact with me is not the way they interact with each other. It’s like that old saying, “I feel exactly the way I did at 25 … except when I hang around 25 year olds.”
I feel this. One of my closest friends is 23, she's the only friend I have anywhere near that age range. She's the youngest in our overall friend group by far but is an "old soul" (or that's how she refers to herself). However, there are moments when she gives her thoughts on things and I think hmmm that's definitely a perspective that I'd have at that age but not one I can relate to at all now.
I feel young until well...she mentions the year she's born and I realize I graduated from HS that year. LOL.
Post by newnamesameperson on Jan 23, 2022 15:30:28 GMT -5
It's so weird to me that I'm the adult. I'm responsible for two children. That just blows me away. I wonder if my parents ever were weirded out at being the adult like I often feel.
Post by 2boys2danes on Jan 23, 2022 15:33:20 GMT -5
Double nickel -- that's 55 to you young whippersnappers LOL. Just kidding. I rarely post, login in spurts like will hop in for six months then out for six years. 2 sons (college seniors) and married 20+ years. I started on the knot
I am going to be 40 this year. I am in such a different place than my parents or grandparents. I saw a picture of my grandma at 37. She looked old. I would have guessed 55. She had an 18 y/o and a 13 y/o. At the same age, my 1st child was just born. I remember her telling me that my baby didn't look old. She thought since we were "older" parents, our baby would reflect that.
I’m 44. I joined The Knot in January 2003 😳 My mom had me (her oldest) at the same age I had my oldest. So I’m kind of where I feel I should be perception wise.